


The Weeping Monk x Reader : Playing With Fire

by SidneyDR



Category: Cursed (TV 2020)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Childhood Trauma, Death, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Minor Character Death, Multi, Mutual Pining, Nimulot - Freeform, Physical Abuse, Pining, Protectiveness, Psychological Trauma, Reader is a little ball of rage, Sarcasm, Self-Insert, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Threats of Violence, Violence, for something enemies to lovers, scary part, slut-shaming at some points, tagging with nimulot for those looking, vile language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:01:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 42
Words: 113,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28325010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SidneyDR/pseuds/SidneyDR
Summary: The Huntsman, that is what they called your brother. A name he had earned by hunting down the fey for coin. Coin that is given by Father Carden for his services. You refuse to stand aside and watch how your brother hunts down those who are fey. When you start to warn the fey camps your brother wishes to attack, you find yourself behind enemy lines. But when the Weeping Monk becomes suspicious of you, you realise you are playing with fire.Notes: Enemies to Lovers. A slow burn story where the reader begins to risk their life to help the fey. The situation becomes more dangerous as the Weeping Monk himself begins to figure out just what exactly you are doing.
Relationships: Lancelot x reader, The Weeping Monk | Lancelot (Cursed)/Original Female Character(s), The Weeping Monk | Lancelot (Cursed)/Other(s), The Weeping Monk | Lancelot (Cursed)/You, Weeping monk x reader
Comments: 19
Kudos: 68





	1. The Huntsman

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Mentions of abusive behavior/violence. This story will need more warnings as the story progresses. It gets pretty dark at moments.

~Past~

_She sat opposite of you as she examined the cut on your knee. You had obtained it when you were playing in the forest on your own. A badly placed branch was all it took to trip and fall._   
_Your older sister cleaned the cut with a damp cloth, then she stood up and went to retrieve a small bowl she had hidden in a box beneath her bed._   
_You watched her through curious eyes as she showed it to you. You recoiled when you realised what was in the bowl "Is that... is that... fey medicine ?"_   
_The last word came as a whisper, speaking of fey medicine in Mirstone was dangerous, but actually using it was far worse._   
_She nodded silently with a smile "Don't worry, y/n. I won't tell anyone. Will you ?"_   
_You quickly shook your head, of course you would not betray your sister. But you looked at the bowl in fear, thinking about all the stories your older brother Draegan had told you about the evil fey._   
_"Isn't that dangerous ?" You asked looking frightened._   
_She let out a soft laugh before putting your mind at ease "No, it is not. Don't believe what the people say about the fey, y/n. Don't believe Draegan. They do not know what they speak of."_   
_You frowned at that "The fey aren't evil ?"_   
_She gently rubbed some of the salve from the bowl on your knee "Of course not. They are just people, like us."_   
_But why did everyone here believe they are evil then ?_   
_"Then why do people say they are ?" You watched as the salve did not in fact hurt you._   
_She shrugged her shoulders and looked at your face "People fear what they do not understand or know. But we cannot let fear blind us from the truth, y/n. Be braver then they are."_   
_You nodded as she convinced you about the fey. She would never lie to you._   
_Your eyes fell on a necklace around her neck you had not seen before, instantly taking a liking to the pretty flower shaped wooden pendant "What's that ?"_   
_She looked down at the pendant around her neck when she saw you pointing at it "This ? Do you like it ?"_   
_She must have seen the sparkle in your eyes and you nodded._   
_She took it off and put it over your head, so you were now wearing it "A fey gave it to me. They carved it themselves."_   
_Your eyes widened at her confession, still shocked that your sister would dare to bring fey items into the village, into the house..._   
_She held it between her fingers "Keep it. They told me it would bring me love and luck. But I already have that, I love you and I'm lucky you're my little sister."_   
_You smiled a bright toothy smile at her and she did the same "Thank you !"_   
_She patted your now bandaged knee "Perhaps it will bring you love and luck as well."_   
_She stood up and hid the box under her bed again._   
_You kept the pendant your sister had given you that day. Only later you recognised which flower the pendant resembled. Years later it had brought you little luck and no love. But as long as you had the necklace, you still had her close to your heart, where she would always be._

~present~  
You arrived back at the village, Mirstone, at dawn and quietly descended from your horse.  
Calling Mirstone a village was...generous. There were a few brick houses and the rest of it was made up out of tents.  
You were one of the few who was lucky enough to have a house of stone, it was perhaps the only perk you had from being the sister of the huntsman.  
A name your brother Draegan had earned by locating fey, capturing them and often even killing them.  
For a price.

A price Father Garden was willing to pay for Draegan's services.  
Yesterday you had found a map Draegan had acquired, containing the location of his next target. A fey camp not far from your village. When night had fallen you had rode your horse to the fey camp and warned them. They didn't trust you at first so you gave them the map and told them who you were. They were very grateful and quickly packed their things before leaving their camp.  
As you walked back into the village you hoped no one had seen you take the map. You were discreet but your brother had eyes everywhere.  
As you approached your tiny house you saw one of his henchmen waiting outside for you.  
You held your head high, not wanting to show fear as you greeted him politely.  
"He wants to speak to you. Don't keep him waiting." The henchman's voice was laced with threat.  
You turned away from him and made your way to the building you knew he would be at.  
It was where he and his henchmen planned their next move and where he would meet guests like Father Carden.  
He stood leaning over the table as he watched over the papers displayed on them. You did notice there seemed to be papers that you had not seen yesterday, they must have been new.  
You kept a distance, being in the same room was already too close for comfort.  
"Come closer, little sister." He didn't look in your direction.  
It was the same room and table where you had taken the map from yesterday evening.  
He must have realised that it was missing.  
You tried to control your breathing as you approached the table.  
"You asked for me ?" You tried your best to sound innocent and oblivious.  
"Where is it ?" Anger already audible in his words, he tapped his finger on the table.  
You evaded your eyes "Where's what ?"  
He slammed his fist on the table "Don't play dumb ! The map ! Where is it ?!"  
It made you jump and you took a step back.  
You did not know if someone had indeed seen you take the map or if this was just him blaming you for something again even though he had no real evidence for it. Something he often did.

“I don't know.” The words came out shaky and barely audible.

His eyes snapped to you instantly, in two quick steps he roughly grabbed hold of your arm. You could feel the bruises forming as his grip tightened around your arm.

"I don't know !!! I never saw a map !" You lied and hoped he would believe it. You tried to get your arm out of his grasp but his hold only tightened.

He opened his mouth to speak but then one of his men opened the door and entered the room.

“Father Carden has arrived, boss. Should I send him in ?” The man's eyes darted between you and Draegan.

He roughly let go off your arm.  
"We'll talk about this later !" A clear threat in that statement. He turned to the man “Send him in.”

The henchman left the room in a rush and you had expected your brother would lash out at you again. Instead he seemed to try and calm himself down "Pull yourself together, y/n ! Father Carden is here. It is time we discussed a raise in coin. Not a word about that missing map, you understand me ?" He pointed at your face, eyes flooding with hidden rage and you nodded obediently.

“Hide those papers ! Hurry !” He barked and you quickly grabbed the papers from the table and tossed them under a stack of books in the corner.

The door went open and the henchman walked in again, announcing Father Carden who walked in seconds later. And as always the Weeping Monk followed in his footsteps. You took the moment to create more distance between you and Draegan, hoping to soon have an oppurtunity to leave the room.

Your brother approached them with his arms spread out in a welcoming gesture but it was all an act. You wondered if they realised it as well ?  
"Ah ! Father Carden ! Have you once again come to bless us with your presence.. and coin ?" He added the last part once he was close enough to Father Carden.  
Resisting the urge to roll your eyes, you looked over at the Weeping Monk. He seemed as thrilled about this meeting as you were. Father Carden visited the camp every few weeks to talk about the progress in extinquishing the fey. And to pay your brother for his work of course. You hated it, hated seeing the red of the paladin's robes wandering around the village. As you walked around the village you tried to avoid them as much as possible.

“Huntsman.” Father Carden greeted him with a nod “That will depend on what you have to offer this time.”

Draegan shot you a quick look and you knew he was nervous. That map that went 'missing' was meant to be a bargaining chip in this. You ignored it, not even looking at him as you cast your gaze to the floor. Draegan straightened his back and tried to look confident “Two fey camps, no survivors. That is what I offer this time.”

Your stomach turned at the information, the fact that you were related to him made it even worse. He pulled another map from his jacket and showed Father Carden the locations as he described in gruesome detail how he had 'dealt' with the fey. Father Carden hummed approvingly while the Weeping Monk seemed almost bored by it all, as if he was not even listening to your brother's bragging. You had heard enough and started to move away from them, and towards the door. Draegan did not notice you leaving, and neither did Father Carden as your brother started to speak of more coin for his 'good work'. Something Father Carden didn't seem pleased with.

But the Weeping Monk had noticed, and you felt his eyes following you as you walked out of the room. Even though you felt intimidated you did not show it.

Refused to show it.  
He had noticed you at the Village the previous times he had been here. He paid little attention to the people at the village but you had drawn his attention the first time he had been there when you had physically bumped into him.  
Others would have uttered a quick apology and hurried along.  
Not you.

"Watch where you're walking !"

You had snapped at him before pushing your way passed him again.  
He had remembered the fire and rage in your eyes. It came as a suprise when he learned you were the Huntsman's sister. The Huntsman was a cruel man with no morals, who enjoyed to torture the fey when given the chance. It was what made him effective in what he did. But the Huntsman was alway polite to both him and Father Carden, he had to be if he were to expect payment.  
You however didn't seem to care about that, and everytime he visited the village he would observe as you avoided the Red Paladins like the plague. Often giving one of them a backhanded comment if they did try to have a conversation with you. He suspected you did not share your brother's view on cleansing the fey. Therefore he kept an eye on you while they visited the village, someone like you could easily sabotage Father Carden's mission and help the fey instead. He knew the Huntsman often acquired documents or information about the fey, valuable information, to earn more coin from Father Carden. And if you were indeed on the side of the fey, it would seem little trouble for you to take that information and give it to the enemy. He had learned not long ago that somehow everytime the Huntsman learned about a location of a fey camp before him, often the camp would be abandoned not long before he would arrive. As if someone had warned them. Warned them that they were coming. Something he had ignored to mention to Father Carden. He knew he would be the one to be blamed for not being fast enough, for not tracking those feys down faster then the Huntsman. He pretended that he had not puzzled it together and it seemed that the Huntsman was acting like it too. Either that or the Huntsman was oblivious to the whole thing. Something he didn't put past him, he was effective in hunting down fey, but he was often blinded by his own ego. And he doubted that the Huntsman would suspect his own sister to be at blame. In the times he had visited the Monk had never caught you acting suspicious.

Yet he still kept an eye on you, and it seemed some Paladins did the same but he suspected it was for reasons different then his own. You were the quiet type. The one that was almost always present at the meetings between Father Carden and the Huntsman but never spoke a word unless you were asked. If he had heard you speak four whole sentences in that room since he had first seen you, it would be a lot. Father Carden discussed the fey and the progress of wiping them out with the Huntsman, but he believed that the most interesting information about the fey would not come from the Huntsman. No. It might just come from you. Because when you had spoken when asked, you sounded anything but dumb, calculated almost. A level of alertness in your presence that matched his own. But you never shared information on the fey's location. Wether it was because the Huntsman had forbid you to in fear it would cost him his payment or if it was because you were indeed helping the fey, was something he dearly wished to figure out.

OooooOOOOOoooOOOOOOOooooooooOOOO

He followed Father Carden and the Huntsman at a distance around the small village while they discussed their next course of action. The Huntsman often tried to derail the conversation, steering it back to his attempt to talk about a raise in coin for him. Needless to say, he quickly lost interest in the conversation. The village, if one could even call it that, was small. And it wouldn't take someone long to recognise all who lived there. That is how it occured to him that you were nowhere to be seen outside. Perhaps you were inside one of the homes but his insticts were telling him otherwise. He waited until they were talking near a bunch of paladins before he felt it was safe enough to leave Father Carden's side for a while.

Hearing your brother brag about his cruel actions was what made you slip back into the building where he had made you hide the papers before Father Carden or the Monk could see them.  
You pulled them from under the stack of books and quickly flicked through them, looking for any information on his next location to strike. Looking for those new papers you had seen on the table.  
Right when you found some small drawn maps you heard the door creak. You had not heard any footsteps nearing and that was what filled you with dread. In the blink of an eye you had hidden the papers under the stack of books again, hoping that you would be able to find them again later.  
Just as you turned around, the Weeping Monk stepped into the room. Pushing the door open widely, making for a dramatic entrance.  
Obviously you had been in the same room as him before, but never alone with him.  
The only words you had spoken to him was when you had snapped at him after you had bumped into him the first time they had visited the village.  
It was perhaps foolish to be rude to him considering his reputation but your anger towards him, towards Father Carden and his paladins, was stronger then your fear.  
He slowly stepped into the room, eyes on you right away. As if he was expecting you to be there.  
The silence was nerve-racking, and you knew you had to say something as this was definitely looking suspicious.  
"Has my brother asked for me ?" You asked him in a innocent sounding way, hoping your voice gave nothing away.  
His eyes fell on the empty table, as he slowly walked further into the room.  
You moved a little so you where standing in front of the stack of books.  
"No." He stopped next to the table that was standing in between you. It created a distance between you that you were grateful for. In that moment you wished he would just say something, it was unnerving how he seemed to examine you from afar.

“Does Father Carden need something ?” You tried again.

His eyes fell on something behind you and you knew he must have spotted the papers sticking out from under the books. They had not been sticking out when he and Father Carden were in the room earlier. He moved away from the table and you froze on the spot when you saw him move in your direction. You worried about him finding the papers, but what could he accuse you of ? He had not seen you peeking at them, nor taking them. You were just in the room, in this case it was more suspicious that HE was in the room. If he were to take the papers you could tell Draegan that the Monk was trying to prevent him from doing his work and recieving his payment from Father Carden. But that would place you on the Monk's bad side, something you obviously did not want. You felt like a hare facing a wolf by the way he was watching you, watching to see if you would move. If you would run. Then right before he was close enough the door went open and your brother walked into the room while speaking loudly to Father Carden. Both of them looked suprised to see you and the Weeping Monk in the room, alone. The tension in the room must have been palpable. Your brother first looked behind you to the stack of books and then to the Weeping Monk who was standing in close proximity. It looked like you wouldn't even have to tell him what the Monk was there for. And the Monk seemed aware of it as well as he stepped away from you, and from the stack of books.

Draegan clapped his hands together breaking the cutting silence “Is there a problem ?” His eyes shot between you and the Monk and you saw an opportunity.

“Not at all, brother.” You gestured to the Monk “He was just telling me how your work has helped them in their mission.”

The Monk's eyes shot to you, a frown now gracing his face before it dawned on him what you were doing. To your suprise the Monk played along “Cleansing the previous camps has weakened them greatly, their food supplies will be running low by now.”

Both your brother and Father Carden seemed to believe the lie. The conversation then continued between Draegan and Father Carden as if nothing had happened. But the tension between you and the Monk was hanging in the room.

You could have told the Huntsman he was going for the papers, but instead you had kept quiet. It further confirmed his believe that you were smarter then you let on. Those must have been papers containing the information about the fey and you had been looking through them right before he had entered the room again, that is why they were now sticking out from under the books. You could have told the Huntsman he had intended to take the papers, it would have been a good cover for you. It suprised him that you had lied instead, had the Huntsman known what he was really doing he doubted things would remain civil. By lying, by covering his intentions, you had protected yourself. You were drawing the suspicion away from you that way. You had used his presence in the room to your advantage and as he played along with the lie, he had become your excuse to be in that room right there and then. Smart. Still, there was little doubt left in his mind that you were secretly warning the fey against the Huntsman. The problem was that he had no solid proof. This time you stayed in the room and remained quiet until right before they left again, you avoided facing your brother again that day about the missing map. Although it appeared that the payment he recieved from Father Carden had calmed him down somewhat.

Even if the negotiaton about a raise in coin had failed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All you had wanted to do was collect materials from the forest. But when you hear a boy in trouble you end up trying to save him. But you are no match against his captor.

The day after, your brother and his henchmen left for their next target, luckily it was a fey camp that you had warned earlier and not one of the new locations on the papers. You decided to wait until dark to try and sneak into the room where the papers were. You knew you wouldn't be able to take them but you would try to memorize them and redraw them yourself. That way you could warn the fey without making yourself more suspicious towards your brother, and the Monk for that matter.  
There were still some hours left until nightfall and you rode into the forest to go and gather some supplies. One benefit from helping the fey is that they would sometimes teach you things, including the way they would make medicine. You were always careful to hide the supplies from the forest in a secret space below one of the wooden planks of your floor in your tiny house. If a paladin would ever find the supplies, you doubted you could talk your way out of it.  
You were busy trying to reach a particular flower when you heard a voice. You stopped in your tracks and listened. You couldn't make much of what was being said until you got a little closer to the sound. Then you realised it sounded like a young boy, and he was cussing up a storm at someone.  
You quirked a brow and didn't think much of it until you heard the boy say "Let me go, you scum !"  
That didn't sound good, and worry was what drove you to move closer towards the voice.  
The closer you got the more you understood what the boy was saying and none of it sounded...nice.  
You pushed some branches aside to see what was going on and your eyes widenend in shock.  
The moment you saw the Weeping Monk bind the boy's hand together with rope you knew the boy must be fey.  
Oh no...  
The boy cussed at him, and struggled against the Monk's grasp. It didn't take long for him to bind the boy's hands and you watched as he pulled him along towards his horse.  
You had to do something, you couldn't just stand by and watch a child be abducted or worse...  
Killed.  
The stories of feys being burned alive fueled your fear for the boy's life.  
You looked at the ground around you, and you spotted a thick branch. You quietly grabbed it, it would do little against the Monk. You knew his reputation. But if you could just manage to hit him hard enough, to stun him just long enough to help the boy escape then at least you would die knowing you saved the fey boy.

Step by step you got closer, and step by step you were once again reminded how truly intimidating the Monk looked. The boy spotted you and you gestured for him to stay quiet. His eyes quickly darted between you and the Monk who continued to walk forward, pulling the rope with the boy behind him.  
You took a silent deep breath when you considered yourself close enough to the Monk to attack.  
And then..

*SNAP*  
The twig snapped under your feet and you knew you had to act now.  
You aimed for his head but he moved and you ended up hitting his shoulder instead. He turned his arm and grabbed hold of the branch you were using as a weapon. Then he turned the branch in such a way that it broke the hold you had on it, forcing it out of your hands.  
You tried to stay out of his reach but him pulling the branch from your hands had also pulled you closer towards him. Within the blink of an eye he had grabbed your arm.  
You immediately tried to break free, but he was much faster then you expected him to be. He let go off your arm and his hand wrapped around your throat, before you could react you could feel his sword against your stomach.  
You breathed shallow breaths, afraid that breathing normal would lead to the sword piercing your stomach.  
He was facing you now, and it dawned on you that he might not have realised who was attacking him until now.  
Recognistion flashed in his eyes when they locked on your face and it seemed to halt him.  
You didn't struggle even though you truly wished to do so.  
He let out a breath as if your presence there annoyed him.  
Your eyes fell on the boy behind him, noticing the Monk was no longer holding the rope. He followed your gaze and looked over to the boy who could now run off if he wished to do so.  
The boy had not noticed until he saw the look on your face. He looked down at the loose end of the rope now laying on the ground.

The Monk's jaw clenched, clearly not happy with this situation.  
This further confirmed his believe that you where indeed on the side of the fey. His shoulder ached as he held the grip on your throat. It was obvious to him that you were not skilled in fighting unlike the Huntsman.  
And still you had attacked him.  
To save a fey boy ?  
He wondered how the Huntsman would react to his sister helping the enemy.  
He saw how you mouthed the word 'run' in the boy's direction.  
Were you really willing to die for a fey ?  
He turned to the boy, seeing the hesitation in the child's eyes.  
"Run and I will kill her." He looked towards the boy.  
The boys eyes darted between him and you, you shook your head. Trying to silently communicate that the boy should run.

He must have noticed as his sword now pressed against your stomach. It was reason enough for the boy to walk towards the both of you again.  
Moments later, he had tied your hands as well and was leading both you and the boy through the forest on his horse.  
The boy relentlessly insulted him on the long walk.  
“Be quiet, boy !” You had told him after the first insult.  
The boy looked at you appalled “I'm not afraid of him !”  
Not the answer you had expected “Clearly.”  
It seemed the Monk couldn't care less about it. And it made you wonder just how far you could go before he would react. You doubted the Red Paladins would allow the boy to speak to them this way, so why was he not getting angry at the boy ?  
You could not resist picking up a small rock you saw while walking and throwing it in his direction.  
It made contact with his shoulder and he suddenly stopped. The boy snickered when he saw it happen.  
The Monk turned to look over his shoulder but didn't look at you directly. He seemed completely apathetic to the whole thing "Do that again and I will tie your hands behind your back and drag you along that way."  
He sounded calm, but something told you he was serious. He didn't seem the type to have empty threats.  
"I bet that is the only way a woman would follow you. Facing away, not having to look at you." You blurted out. The words came faster then you could stop them.  
He was quiet for a moment, when he spoke he sounded different..almost entertained "You would prefer it then ?"  
You swallowed hard, it looked like it was backfiring on you. It was hard not to answer 'yes' out of sheer spite. But gods knew how long you would have to walk backwards over the forest ground littered with branches and rocks to trip over.  
"Yes?" He was actually awaiting your answer.  
You rolled your eyes, clenching your jaw as your replied "No. No, I would not."  
With a short nod he turned to face forward again and beckoned the horse to move once more.  
"Paladin bastard." You cussed loud enough for him to hear. The boy looked up at you in suprise, clearly not expecting you to still be defiant.  
The horse stopped once more and this time he truly looked at you. Not in a menacing way.  
No. His expression was unreadable to you. You stood your ground, not showing him that you were in fact afraid. Mentally cursing yourself for continuing to push your luck.  
You could hear him sigh loudly and then you felt a tug on the ropes around your wrists.  
Damnit.  
He started to pull you towards him with the rope as if he was reeling in a fish.  
The boy moved and you quickly looked at him and shook your head.  
“It's okay. Stay there.” You assured him as you slowly walked up to the Monk.  
When you stood next to his horse you glared up at him.  
"You try my patience." He spoke quietly, no hint of anger audible.  
He seemed calm, as if this whole thing was boring to him.  
His hood casted shadows on his features, but you knew he wasn't looking at you directly.  
You let out a scoff and held up your hands, presenting him your wrists “And you try mine, Monk.”  
“Be glad you're still breathing.” He countered, still talking quietly as if he did not want the boy to hear the conversation.  
You wondered why he had not killed you or the boy yet “Why haven't you killed me yet ?”  
He shifted on the horse, a moment passed before he answered "You're useful to me.” now finally looking at you before adding “For now."  
You swallowed at that. There was an underlying meaning to it, one you had yet to understand. But you knew he meant nothing good by it.  
You casted your eyes to the ground, you had heard stories about how some Red Paladins did not stick to the celibacy. You feared that was what the Monk meant by you being 'useful' to him.  
You looked in the direction of the boy, even though he had enjoyed cussing at the Monk, you could see the fear in his eyes now.  
It was a stupid idea, but if there was a chance that you could exchance yourself for the boy's life then it was worth a try.  
You ignored the fear you felt, refusing to show any of it to the Monk.  
You had cast your eyes down, not willing to look at the Monk when you said "If I'm useful to you, then let the boy go. Do what you want with me...just let him go free."  
You tried to reason with him unaware of why he actually needed the boy. Why he needed you.  
Seconds of silence passed, but it felt so much longer.  
After another second you dared to look up, the Monk seemed to avoid looking at you completely now. He must have understood what you were trying to say.  
The shift in atmosphere was palpable, it felt...uncomfortable.  
When he spoke he sounded different and you believed what you have said might have actually rattled him.  
“Go back to the boy..” It almost sounded like a request, he avoided looking at your face.  
He had definitely understood you, and it was now very clear to you that when he said 'useful' that was not what he had in mind.  
At least he has some morals you thought as you backed away from the horse and back to the boy who was looking confused at it all.  
“What was that about ?” The boy raised a brow.  
You quickly thought about a believable excuse “He just warned me not to throw a rock again...what is your name boy ?”  
The boy sighed and pulled a face in the Monk's direction before answering your question.  
“Squirrel.” He answered you quietly.  
“Squirrel ?” You frowned at the unexpected answer.  
He gave a nod “And you ?”  
“I'm y/n... listen Squirrel. Promise me that when you have the chance, you will run. Do not risk your life for me.”  
The boy started to protest immediately and you raised your voice in desperation “Promise me !”  
You quickly looked in the direction of the Monk who was looking past his shoulder at the both of you. You couldn't read his expression, it was too dark.  
You turned back to the boy and spoke quietly “Promise me, Squirrel. I am the Huntsman's sister, do not risk your life for me, I am not worth it !”  
Realisation dawned in the boy's eyes at the mention of your brother's title, and he reluctantly replied “Fine.. I promise.”  
“Thank you.” You breathed in relief and then you felt the tug at the rope. The horse started to move and you both started to follow again.  
Not that you had much of a choice in the matter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are less then pleased with the situation you find yourself in and find yourself unable to resist the urge to pester the Monk. The Monk tries to figure out who he is dealing with and what he should do.

After what felt like you had circled the whole damn forest, the Monk finally stopped.  
The sun was going down when he descended from his horse and walked towards you.  
He grabbed the rope and started to bundle it in his hands as he approached.  
You thought about your options.  
Running ? Not without the boy and he had a horse.  
Fighting ? Without a weapon you had little chance.  
He took hold of your upper arm and started to pull you along “Don't try to escape. I will capture you again, and I will not be this polite. Understood ?”  
You glared at him “What is your plan, Monk ? Why have you dragged me and this boy through the forest ?”  
He stopped next to a tree and started to bind the rope around it, and you realised he was keeping you at a distance from the boy. Which would make escaping near impossible as you could not reach the boy to untie him.  
“I will tell you mine if you tell me yours.” He looked at you and you knew he must suspect something about you.  
You ignored him, something he expected.  
“No ? Then I will let you resume your speculations.” The Monk seemed almost entertained.  
He let go off your arm after he finished tying the rope to the tree. By the way he had tied your hands together it would prove impossible to break free. You had little to no room to move far from the tree.  
He then walked over to the boy, Squirrel, to tie his ropes in a 'safe' spot as well.  
You watched as he collected some fallen branches to make a fire, all while he kept a watchfull eye on you and the boy.  
After a while you slid down against the tree, you couldn't deny that you were tired after walking for so long and the boy looked tired as well. The cursing had stopped minutes ago and you saw how Squirrel struggled to stay awake before he ended up falling asleep.  
You wondered if this were your last hours alive. Considering the Monk had not killed you yet, the only other thing you could think of was that he was taking you to Father Carden to be judged for trying to save a fey boy.  
Moments passed and now you struggled to stay awake, you saw the Monk sit down and lean against a tree not far from you.  
His eyes focusing on the fire in front of him. You still couldn't believe how calm he looked.  
As if this was something that happened daily.  
Still, you were glad he didn't seem to be interested in torturing you on the way to Father Carden.  
You hated to admit that he was almost polite, you doubted the his red brothers would be this 'polite'.  
He had not even scolded the boy for all the cursing aimed at him, not even once.  
You struggled against the tight ropes, trying to get them a little looser.  
The Monk must have noticed your attempts "Did you need a hand ?"  
He looked uninterested but you noted a hint of sarcasm in his voice. Was he seriously joking right now ??  
You glared over at him and sarcastically answered "Why, yes. But unfortunately some madman tied them up !"  
He ignored you again and after a while you felt like pestering him out of spite. If he was going to keep you captive, you would make this situation as unpleasant for him as it was for you “How's the shoulder ?”  
He had closed his eyes but opened them slightly when he heard the mocking question “How are the wrists ?” he shot back.  
You rolled your eyes, they felt sore and were a little swollen "Perfectly fine."  
"Excellent, then I won't have to loosen the ropes a little for you. I had assumed they were swollen." He deadpanned.  
Gods, you hated the smug bastard.  
"Smug bastard." You said through your teeth.  
He leaned his head back against the tree, letting out a disgruntled noise and then suddenly got up.  
You were instantly alarmed as he walked towards you.  
Shit, did you push it too far ?  
His hand reached out near your face and out of habit you flinched and closed your eyes. Living with Draegan all these years had caused that reflex. However the impact of pain never came. You opened your eyes again and saw he had halted his movement at your reaction. Then he gingerly reached for the rope and loosened it just a little so it no longer cut into your skin.  
You looked at him bewildered.  
He looked over at the boy who still slept before moving away from you and sitting down against the tree again.  
He rested his head against it, closing his eyes to rest.  
You looked at your wrists and then back to him.  
That was.. strange ?  
You had insulted him and he did something...nice ?  
You studied the Monk curiously. Not only did he not look like the Red Paladins, he also did not act like one of them.

After staring at him for a bit you spoke "Is this what you do then ? Drag people behind your horse through the forest. Are you that desperate for some human interaction ?"  
The Monk sighed deeply at your rambling "I've heard it is what your brother does. But there is less talking when he does it."  
With less talking he meant there was screaming or worse.  
You casted your eyes down, another reminder of how cruel your brother truly was.  
You didn't comment on it anymore, instead you turned to lay against the tree.  
The last thing you wanted to think about was your brother. If Father Carden didn't have you killed for interferring, you doubted your brother would do the same.  
You felt your eyes get heavy and felt the alluring sensation of sleep carry you away.

The Monk had noticed your sudden silence at the mention of the Huntsman's actions.  
After some time had passed he had looked over at you from the corner of his eye and saw that you had fallen asleep.  
Not suprising after the long walk, and it had also been what he had hoped for.  
You and the boy were the perfect bait.  
Yet, there was something plaguing him.  
It was the moment he had pulled you towards him while he was sitting on Goliath.  
It had taken him a moment to realise what you had suggested. At first he wasn't sure if he was drawing the correct conclusion but one look at you, looking down at the ground, confirmed it. He knew you helped the fey, but to sacrifice yourself like this for the life of one fey boy was something that left him aghast.  
There were few lines he would not cross and taking advantage of a woman who was his captive and bound by ropes was one of them.  
Not just because of his faith but the idea itself made him sick to the stomach.  
He'd heard about Paladins abusing their authority to take advantage of others, and he made sure none of them would even attempt it if he was around.  
The thought that you suspected him to be capable of such behaviour, that you feared it could be his intention, made him feel terrible.  
You had never looked afraid before, not at your village, not even when he had held his sword against you. No.  
But when he had looked down at you from his horse, he knew you were afraid.  
The rest of the ride it kept gnawing at him, and he wondered what he was going to do with you after he had succeeded in his plan in lurring the fey.  
Which had been his plan all along, you and the boy were just bait that is why you were useful to him. A defenceless woman and child would work like a magnet on the fey hiding in this forest.  
He was positive that you were giving information to the fey to warn them. He had no hard evidence, and to just accuse the sister of the Huntsman would be foolish. But he would have to decide wether or not to kill you soon, a decission he was struggling with.

He watched as you slept, uncertain if it was out of fear you would break free and kill him if he slept as well, or of it was because you looked far less intimidating while you slept. The angry frown was gone, no clenched jaw. Just sleeping almost peacefully under the less then ideal circumstances.  
You moved a little while you slept and then he noticed something. It would be hard to spot for most in the dark, but he had spend many nights like this and his eyes had adjusted well to it.  
Your sleeve had moved up somewhat, revealing a rather large bruise. You could have gotten it from walking through the forest and having branches make contact with your skin. But the shape of it revealed a whole different story. There were small bruises close to it. Someone had grabbed you and caused the bruises. He thought back to the moment he had disarmed you in the forest, he had no recollection of ever grabbing that arm. Let alone having been rough enough to cause a bruise that bad.  
He frowned as he studied it, how had you obtained it ? You did not seem like the kind of person to end up in fights.  
As if hearing his thoughts, you turned over in your sleep. Now facing away from him.  
He let his head rest against the tree again, not long after he fell a into a shallow slumber.  
He had not rested for long before he was completely alert again.  
The Monk had caught their scent long before they had approached him. He had pretended to be asleep up until they had poked him with the strangely shaped weapon.  
"Get up, you murdering pig !"


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You unfortunately find out that the stories about the Monk’s fighting skill are true. The Monk hears you say something to him that he knows will haunt him.

A voice you did not recognize awoke you from your slumber.  
You jolted up to see a man threatening the Monk. The man poked him with a strange three pointed weapon, the Monk's eyes opened. An eerie feeling krept up on you by the fact that the Monk did not look suprised that there were now fey surrounding him.  
In that moment you should have known that this was what he had meant by being 'useful' to him and what his plan had been.  
“Josse !” The boy sat up wide awake now.  
The man, Josse gave an affirmative nod towards the boy “Squirrel, you all right ?”  
Squirrel quickly nodded, looking visibly relieved.  
Then Josse looked at you as he probably wondered why the Monk had taken you as a captive as well. The situation must have looked suspicious to say the least. You knew the Monk had no indecent intentions with you but the fey standing around him did not know that.  
“And you, Miss ? You all right ?” Josse asked visibly worried, and one of the other fey's came to free you but you pointed to the boy. Gesturing that they should free Squirrel first and they went over to the boy.  
“I'm okay..” You quickly nodded and kept your eyes on the Monk.  
Your brother had told you stories of the Weeping Monk's skill, and you knew your brother always minimalised another person's talents. And what you were told was still impressive, so you watched with wary eyes as they pulled him from the ground to tie his wrists together.  
“I think we've caught the big killer. Look at the eyes.” Josse pointed out to the other fey.  
“Shed a few for us, brother.” The fey who tied his wrists mocked.  
With each passing second you grew anxious, they must of heard of his reputation. Why were they stalling ? Why didn't they just kill him ?  
Josse looked at the fire “Get me a nice red on, Grim.”  
A smirk tugged at the Monk's lips when he understood what they were thinking about.  
“Ever been dragged by a horse with a hot coal up its bum ?” They continued to threaten him and you got up on your feet.  
“Not that I can recall.” He deadpanned, and that is when you knew.  
You knew what his plan had been, why he had dragged you and the boy through the forest.  
He looked calm but you could feel the tension cutting through the air.  
“Just kill him, Josse !” Squirrel spoke wise words.  
You decided to speak up “If you wish to kill him, stop stalling ! Torturing him will only give him the chance to kill you !”  
Josse ignored your words, which would prove a terrible mistake.  
“What did you have in mind for Squirrel, you sick bastard ?” Josse then looked in your direction “What was your intention with the girl ?” he glared at the Monk as he questioned him.  
The Monk looked behind him, towards you, his expression unreadable under the shadow of his cloak,  
He turned his attention back on Josse “I've got no interest in the boy...or the woman. They're bait.”  
Your heart dropped at his confession, confirming your fear,  
Josse furrowed his brows, still unaware of the impending doom “Bait ? For what ?”  
His horse brayed and the Monk spoke to it “Be still, Goliath.”  
A shiver went down your spine as he spoke the next words in a whisper to Josse.  
“For you.”

The Monk attacked the first two with incredible speed, killing them.  
The other fey had barely any time to react when the fight broke out.  
The Monk moved fast in the darkness. Like a shadow dancing through the night, leaving only death in it's wake.  
It was over so quickly, an eery silence now loomed over the place.  
Even the boy was completely silent now.  
The darkness of the night covered most of your sight from the now lifeless bodies on the ground. Still you sat motionless in shock, tears welling up in your eyes.  
A cold chill went down your spine when he turned in the direction of the boy.  
You started to pull on the rope that kept you near the tree, too far to reach for the boy.  
"No ! Stay away from that boy !" You shouted, it was futile as the Monk walked to the boy and pulled him to his feet. Keeping a hold on the boy as he held his sword near him.  
"Get away from him, you paladin bastard ! He's just a boy !" You pulled on the rope, which caused your wrists to redden again.  
The Monk looked once in your direction, then he looked down at the boy.  
"Tell your fey brethren what you saw here. Tell them I'm coming." Then he cut the ropes from the boy's hands.  
The boy fell to the ground, looking up at the monk towering above him.  
"Go." The Monk commanded and the boy looked in your direction.  
You nodded to him and mouthed 'run', the boy still hesitated  
"Please, run. You promised me !" You pleaded with the boy. The Monk turned a little in your direction but did not look at you, he was looking at the boy.  
Watching him to see what he would do, and then to your relief the boy scrambled to his feet and ran away.

You let out a breath you had been holding in.  
Relief washed over you knowing that he had not killed the boy. You almost couldn't believe it. The famous fey killer let a fey boy go, why ?  
You doubted Father Carden would approve of this.  
The relief you felt was soon replaced with panic when you saw the Monk turn in your direction.  
It was futile but you still tried to break free from the ropes. You started moving out of his reach around the tree.  
He stalked towards you and stopped your desperate attempts at escaping your dire situation.  
He took hold of your arm, stopping you from moving around the tree.  
"Let go off me !" You snarled at him.  
He avoided your bound hands as you tried to hit him.  
The Monk cut the rope that held you close to the tree and pulled you towards him with your still bound hands.  
Was this it ? Would he kill you now that you were no longer useful as bait ?  
When he tilted his sword up you could see the fresh dark grimson stains on the steel.  
The inner conflict he felt in that moment was hidden by his stoic expression.  
Letting you go would be a risk for himself and killing you would endanger the alliance between Father Carden and the Huntsman.  
A part of him also admired you, admired how you were willing to sacrifice yourself for the child. You. A human. The sister of the notorious Huntsman who truly enjoyed torturing his victims.  
All of this.. for a fey boy.  
He found himself willing to take the risk.

"You tell anyone about me letting the boy go, I'll tell Father about how you tried to save a fey." The Monk warned.  
"Why would I tell anyone you let the boy live ?!" You spat the words at him, utterly confused.  
It confussed him. Even though you were trying to save the boy, you were still the Huntsman's sister. Knowing that he was sparing the fey children could be used as leverage by you and your brother.  
There was a unspoken mutual understanding that neither of you would gain something by telling on the other, nothing good would come of it.  
He pulled you closer towards him by the ropes on your wrists and was quick to avoid you trying to elbow him in the face on purpose, he gave you a warning look in return.  
“Why are you doing this ? You let the fey boy go, but kill the adults ?” You tried to tear yourself away from him.  
"We're saving souls." He parroted the words Father Carden had fed to him during his upbringing.  
"No." You looked him dead in the eye and spoke through gritted teeth "You're damning your own."  
His expression changed but it was gone in a second.  
His jaw clenched and he avoided looking at you. He tilted his sword up and you tensed when you noticed it.  
After what must have been a second but felt like minutes he cut the ropes from your wrists.  
You glared at him, tears still stinging in your eyes.  
Then you did something both of you had not expected.  
You slapped him.  
Hard.  
After seeing the fey being killed in front of you, your anger was boiling over. Yet you felt instant regret for slapping him. You did just hit someone who was clearly a lot stronger then you and who was armed.  
You gulped, you knew you should just run but you felt yourself freeze on the spot. And you doubted you could actually outrun the bastard.

It was unknown to you that recieving the hit had caused the same reaction for him. He froze. He had seen you tremble yet you still hit him the second you had the chance.

He had expected you to run the second you had the chance, looks like you were braver then you appeared to be.  
He rubbed a hand down his jaw that was on the recieving end of the slap, still not looking at you.  
He hated to admit that he felt shame, but it was not for the fact that you had managed to slap him.  
No.  
It was the shame for his actions that he kept burried under the promise of salvation for him, for the fey.  
He was doing God's work, this was his road to salvation.  
It was you, moving just a tiny step back that snapped him out his thoughts.  
"Go." It would have sounded threatening but he did not sound angry.  
He did not even sound like he was irritated.  
No, he sounded almost conflicted and you stood there frowning at him, unsure if you had heard him right.  
You did not move and he knew he would have to say something.  
"Go. I will not inform Father of this. You and the boy were never here. Understand ?" This time he looked at you.  
You stared at him, only managing to just nod before running off in the direction you had seen the boy go.  
The Monk watched as you ran in the direction the boy had run, knowing that your words would lingering far longer then the sting he felt on his cheek.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After getting out of your dire situation you meet someone in the forest that might just offer you a safer way to help the fey.

You had ran in the direction you had last seen the boy. At first it looked like the boy, Squirrel, had run off alone. But he had hidden behind a tree and he must have been watching to see what would happen, he was carrying a heavy looking branch. It was probably meant to be used as a weapon should the Monk return for him.  
You quickly walked to him “Squirrel ! I told you to run !”  
He pulled a face like you had just insulted him “I did. Then I came back.”  
It almost left you speechless “He could have killed you, Squirrel.”  
“He could have killed you too !” The boy protested before frowning “Why didn't he ?”  
In truth, you didn't really know the answer to that question. Had he let you go only because your brother worked for Father Carden ?  
It was the only logical answer, why else would the Monk let you live after you had not only tried to attack him to save a fey but also slapped him when he let you go ?  
“I think he let me go because of who my brother is.” You replied truthfully and felt shame.  
Squirrel swallowed, he remembered what you had told him “Your brother is the Huntsman ?”  
You nodded in confirmation “He is... I'm sorry.”  
“He kills fey. I've heard he tortures them, drags them behind his horse until...” Squirrel fell silent and then asked “Do you hate us ?”  
Your eyes widened at his question, you should have known he would suspect you of hating the fey as well “What ? No ! Listen, Squirrel. I know it might sound hard to believe coming from me, but I do not hate fey. I hate what my brother does to your kind, I try to warn the fey before my brother finds them. My sister taught me not to believe what they were saying about fey being evil when I was your age.”  
After all these years it still hurt you to talk about your sister. She had spend many moments making sure you knew that what the Red Paladins were doing was wrong. She hated them as much as you did.  
His eyes widened at your confession and a smile crept on his face “You're helping us ?”  
You nodded and smiled at the boy “I am. I have warned the fey in the camp in the north, they left not long ago. The only thing my brother will have found is an abandoned camp. He will not be pleased.”  
You said the last part more to yourself, remembering that you would have to face Draegan soon.  
“Brilliant ! But.. aren't you scared he will find out you are helping us ?” The boy's eyes filled with concern.  
Yes, yes you were scared. The idea that your brother might find out what you are doing behind his back terrified you. You would have rather died at the hands of the Weeping Monk then at the hands of your brother. He had tormented you for years now and he knew exactly how to make your life a living hell. And you, you were stuck. He was under your skin, and as brave as you could be, facing him filled you with fear and terror. Where would you go if you left the village, if you left Mirstone ? If you could even escape from him. You had no one. As long as you played the part of the obedient sister you could help the fey. You could save their lives. A price you were willing to pay. Enough had suffered at the hands of your kin, you could never make up for his monstrous acts but you could try to help where you could.  
But this was not something you should be telling the boy, he was already going through a lot himself. This was not his burden to bear. It was yours.  
“Don't worry about me, Squirrel. We should try and find our way here. You know this forest ?"  
The boy nodded "My village was close.." his eyes fell to the ground “The Red Paladins attacked us.. they killed my papa..”  
You knelt before the boy, your stomach twisting by the horrible news “I'm sorry, Squirrel...”  
You fell silent for a moment before carefully proceeding "Can you lead us back to where the Monk captured us ? My horse was near the place. We can go and see if we can find some of your people then. There must have been others who were able to escape the attack."  
The boy looked at you with newfound hope and nodded quickly “I can !”  
“Good, lead the way then.” You gave his shoulder a squeeze as you stood back up.  
The boy started walking with a quick pace, back to the spot where the Monk had lured him out of.

You had been walking for at least two hours before a noise stopped you dead in your tracks and you grabbed Squirrel's shoulder, stopping him as well.  
“Did you hear that ?” You whispered to him.  
The boy quietly shook his head.  
You had heard something, you were certain of it. Then the sound of rustling leaves made you look around the place. The boy tensed up and so did you.  
Had the Monk returned ? Had he regretted his decision to spare your lives, or perhaps it was some sick game he was playing ?  
You took the branch from the boy and you tried to shield him from whatever it was that was coming.  
“Who's there ?! I am warning you, I am armed !” You tried to sound threatening, it was wishful thinking but perhaps they would leave you alone if you sounded dangerous.  
"Born in the dawn..." A voice emerged from behind you. You spun on your heels and were met with a man wearing a helmet with antlers.  
There were some others with him as well and you immediately pull the boy behind you to shield him.  
"Stay back !" You tried to sound intimidating and took a defensive stance.  
You felt the boy pull on your arm and heard him utter the words "To pass in the twilight."  
The man took a step closer and you took a step back, moving the boy with you as you did.  
"Stay back or I will not hesitate to hurt you !" Your voice more fierce now.  
The man no longer moved closer and instead took off his helmet.  
When he finally spoke he sounded calm, kind even.  
"We come in peace, miss. I won't harm you or the boy." He gestured to the boy "We protect our own, as well as those who aid and stand by us."  
He sounded genuine and you relaxed a little.  
"You're fey ? Who are you ?" You looked at him, still suspicious.  
He smiled warmly and gestured to those who were with him as well "We are. I am The Green Knight. Friends may call me Gawain."  
You sighed in relief, glad that they meant no harm "I'm y/n. And this is Squirrel."  
Gawain's expression changed when you had mentioned your name “y/n ? huh. You don't happen to be from Mirstone ?”  
Your breath quickened, he must have heard about you “Yes.”  
“The village run by the Huntsman...” His word heavy.  
You knew that he knew who you were now, so you gave a nod and felt the shame wash over you again “Yes. I'm..his sister.”  
The Green Knight's expression changed, he looked at you with suspicion now.  
He looked between you and Squirrel. It dawned on you that he might think you were bringing the boy to your brother.  
"Oh ! No, no ! I.. I was helping Squirrel ! The Weeping Monk had captured him, I was trying to save him." You quickly stammered the explanation.  
Gawain frowned "The Weeping Monk ? Are you sure ?"  
Squirrel piped up and confirmed what you had said "Yes ! He captured us both, he killed Josse.. and some others that had tried to free us."  
Gawain sighed, clearly saddened by the news "It's a miracle you're both still alive. He's notorious for killing our kind."  
"He let both of us go." A fact that was still strange to you "I don't think he harms the children." Your brows drew together.  
"Did he hurt you ?" Gawain asked, his eyes scanning you for any signs of injury.  
You quickly shook your head "No, he didn't. No even when I attacked him with a branch. Or when I slapped him when he cut me loose."  
Gawain was silent as he thought about what you had just told him "Strange. Perhaps there is more to him then we know about."  
“He doesn't act like a paladin much either. He's... different.” You still remembered how he had not treated you or the boy like a Red Paladin would have done.

Squirrel found his voice again "He told me to tell the others what I saw. To tell them he's coming."  
Gawain hummed, seemingly thinking about that "That is strange."  
"Why is that ?" You quickly inquired.  
"Strange he would say that. It's a bad battle strategy." He explained and seemed to think about it for a moment.  
Now that Gawain said this, it indeed made little sense to warn the enemy of what is coming. It takes away the element of suprise.  
Why would the Monk do that ? Was it meant to be a form of intimidation ? The idea crossed your mind that there might be a chance that it was a warning to help.  
But why ? Why would he help ? The more you thought about it the less it made sense.  
“Either way..” he caught your attention again “Thank you for helping one of our kind. I suspect the Huntsman is not aware of you helping the fey ?"  
You shook your head "No."  
Gawain was silent when he realised the situation you were in.  
He was hesitant when he spoke next "We could use someone who can give us the information the Huntsman has on our kind.." It was not a demand, it was almost a plea.  
You had a feeling he would ask this of you "I have been warning fey camps, I was able to reach the one in the North just in time."

Gawain smiled widely at the news "I heard about that, I heard someone had warned them. We are grateful for your help, I assume the Huntsman would not react well to the news. You're risking your life doing this, are you not ?"  
You silently nodded, almost suprised someone you had just met was able to guess your dire situation. But it must have been clear in your eyes when he had mentioned you brother's title.  
A flash of fear rose inside you everytime the name was spoken, a reminder of the cruelty your brother was capable off. What you could face one day as well..  
"They have a name for you, you know ? The fey you have warned or ..well...saved."  
You shook your head confused "What name ?"  
“They call you the Fey Guardian.” Gawain answered, giving you a proud nod.  
You couldn't believe the fey were starting to call you that “I'm not sure I deserve it..”  
He gestured to the boy beside you “It seems quite fitting to me, y/n.”  
A smile tugged at your lips, if they indeed called you this then you would try to live up to the name “I will bring you the information I can retrieve. Maps, directions, anything I can do to help you..”

Gawain pulled a map from his jacket and beckoned for you to come closer and you did.  
“See this path near the stream of water ? Do you know where it is ?” He looked at you awaiting your answer.  
“I do, why ?” You studied the map.  
“When you have something for us, go there. Build a fire and we will send someone. Is that alright ?” Gawain looked at you hopeful.  
You quickly nodded “Yes, yes, that will be safer as well.”  
You had not forgotten that the Monk was suspicious of you, you had been lucky so far that no one had followed you to the fey camps. This would be a safer, less suspicious way.  
“I will try to get the information soon, I do not know if my brother has returned to the village yet...I should be heading back. We were heading for my horse.” You looked at Squirrel now.  
Gawain noticed it “We can take you to your horse, but I fear we cannot guide you back to your village.”  
Of course they couldn't take a risk like that “I understand.”  
He nodded to the boy “The boy can stay with us. Don't worry, I will keep him safe. We were searching this place for survivors, we have a safe place.”  
“Are there others there ? From my village ?” The boy quickly asked Gawain.  
Gawain smiled and let out a chuckle “Yes. We even have a Moon Wing there.”  
Squirrel's eyes widened at that, then the boy turned to you “Thank you, y/n. For trying to save me. You might be the Huntsman's sister but your not bad.”  
Was that a compliment ? You'll take it “Thank you.”  
“Let's get you back to your horse, it won't be long before the sun rises.” Gawain mounted his horse and helped you get on as well while Squirrel rode next to you with another fey.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Draegan returns to Mirstone and is anything but pleased that the feycamp he was targetting was abandoned. The Monk had tracked down a fey camp in the North only to find it abandoned again.

Once you had reached your horse you had said your goodbye's to the boy and Gawain. And as you rode back to Mirstone you were determined to collect all the information you could to help the fey.  
You kept looking around you, hoping you would not cross paths with the Monk again.  
It was noon when you finally reached the village. You had hoped your brother would not be back yet, but you saw his horse and your hope was shattered.  
You barely had the time to dismount before Brogan approached you. You rolled your eyes, Brogan was the most irritating one of your brother's 'helpers'.  
He was just as demeaning as your brother was, and he found pleasure in reminding you who was in charge.  
He gave you a sickening grin "Ah, she's back. He's asking for you, little bird."  
"Has he been back long ?" You tried to find out if he had noticed you had been missing the whole night.  
"Arrived at sunrise, better not keep him waiting. He's in a mood." Brogan laughed grimly.  
Great. If Brogan said your brother was in a bad mood then nothing good would come of it. You dragged yourself towards the building you knew he would be in, the meeting room he always used to study the new information on the fey and where he negotiated with Father Carden.  
You carefully pushed the door open to the room and took a deep breath to calm your nerves.  
He was sitting on a chair in silence, a mug in his hand. He didn't look at you as you entered, he was looking at the mug in his hand. You could smell the alcohol in the air and remained close to the door because of it.  
His temper and alcohol never worked well together.  
After a while you realised he would not start a conversation, so you did.  
"You called for me ?" Your voice calm even though it felt like every muscle in your body wanted to run.  
“There was no one.” He scoffed and drank the last bit of what had been in the mug.  
You knew what he meant by that but you had to pretend that you didn't “What ?”  
"That bloody fey camp was abandoned !" He burst out into anger and quickly rose from the chair.  
He threw the ceramic mug in you direction, it barely missed you as it hit the wall behind you. A piece of it flew into your cheek as it shattered. You winced in pain and quickly removed the piece from your skin. Your cheek was bleeding through the cut.  
He had seen your bleeding face, he just did not care "How the hell will I get my coin from Carden like this ?!"  
You felt rooted to the spot as he walked around the room seething with anger.  
“There were no fey ! The one that sold me the map assured they were there, and he has never lied to me before ! He wouldn't dare.. someone must have found them before I did.”  
He became more and more frustrated, and then he said something that startled you "You were in the room alone with him, with the Monk, why ?"

What ? Did he think the Monk found the camp before he did ?  
You got nervous when you thought about the time the Monk had nearly caught you studying the maps.   
You lied through your teeth “I came back here to make sure no one would try to take the papers, I did not want someone to steal what is yours. The Monk just walked in, he wanted to express his admiration for your hard work.”  
It did little to calm him down "Did he see the papers ?!"  
You quickly shook your head, blaming the Monk would be anything but wise "No ! He didn't, they were hidden, you made me hide them !"  
Draegan pointed his finger at you accusingly "Perhaps you told him. Perhaps you are helping the Monk instead of me ? Is that it, sister ? It would explain why you were alone with him."  
Your mouth fell open, was he suggesting you worked with the Monk ?!  
He stepped closer to you "Are you two scheming against me ? So Carden would not have to pay me ?"  
You had to get that idea out of his head “What ?! NO, no absolutely not !  
"I see how those Paladins look at you, how that Weeping bastard looks at you everytime he's here. Don't think I am a fool, y/n !" He spat the words at you.

Your brows drew together, you knew some paladins had indeed looked at you in the way he meant. But the Monk ? No. Not possible. It made you think back to the moment you had tried to trade yourself for the fey boy and the Monk had no such intentions. This had to be Draegan being paranoid again.  
“He's a monk !” You stated the obvious.  
It looked like he thought about it for a moment, but he remained suspicious "Someone must be tipping off that weeping bastard ! Thinks he's better then me.." He kicked over the chair he had been sitting in just moments ago.  
This was him getting paranoid, always believing he had enemies everywhere. Greed had turned him into this.

You kept quiet, if he thought the Monk was responsible for the disappearance of the map then it would be to your benefit.  
Draegan would never face the Monk with this accusation, he knew the Monk was Father Carden's favorite.  
And of course the Monk would deny ever 'cleansing' the camp, and your brother would continue to believe he actually did.  
But he could not just accuse the Monk without any proof.

He suddenly walked over to you and grabbed you roughly by the throat "You'd better not be lying to me, little sister. If I find out you are to blame, you will wish for death to come for you."  
Then he shoved you aside, his voice threatening as he spoke next "I have work to do, those other camps better not be abandoned."  
He slammed the door shut as he left.  
Your hand went to your neck, you could feel the bruises starting to form already.  
You wanted to break down, but kept yourself together.  
You could hear the horses leaving again, your brother and his men would be travelling for a couple of days to reach the other camps.  
The other camps that would also be long abandoned by then.  
After you had calm down a bit, you saw it. The bag your brother always carried with him if he went on a 'hunt'. A bag he used to store the new information he found on the fey.  
Looks like him drinking would bring some luck after all.  
You did not take the leather bag, that would have been to obvious to carry around the village to your home. No, you had a better idea. You only took the maps you found with new locations and left the rest alone. Right when you closed the bag again and hid the maps in your jacket, Brogan entered the room.  
"He left again, eh ? Busy man that brother of yours." He seemed almost pleased. But then again, this meant that Brogan could spend his days annoying everyone in the village again without having to do your brother's bidding.  
"He is." You said disinterested.  
His eyes fell on the bag on the ground, he walked over to it and picked it up "Looks like he forgot his bag, I better put this somewhere safe. Don't want things to disappear again now, don't we ?"  
You nodded confidently "Of course not. Good work, Brogan. My brother will be glad to hear that he can count on his men."  
The idiot smiled at the praise.  
You shuffled past him and headed for the door, not willing to spend any more time around that boor.  
And thankfully, he just let you leave.

OoOOooooooooOOOooooooOOOOoooooOOOOOooooo

He watched as the paladins searched the camp with their weapons drawn. But the Monk knew it was pointless, the fey scent had almost fadded completely from the place. It must have been abandoned days ago. There were no signs of a battle, if the Huntsman had been here then the place would not look this... clean.  
“They're gone.” A paladin finally mustered up the courage to deliver the news.  
The Monk aknowledged him with a nod as he commanded “Burn it all.”  
Only moments later the huts were burning and he made his way back to Goliath when he spotted something on the ground. He knelt down and carefuly picked it up. It looked like a recently made fey child's toy. He turned it over, it was a doll, but it was the appearance of it that had caught his attention. The doll had been made to depict someone's image, and he knew who that someone was.  
He clenched his jaw as he looked at the hair and eyes of the doll, they had the same color as yours.  
The Monk didn't show the doll to the paladins, nor did he take the doll with him. He disposed of it in the fire and stayed until only ash was left of it. It appeared that you were becoming known among the fey, how long would it be before he would watch you burn ? It would not be long before news spread about you to Father Carden like this.

They had stopped at a nearby village so the paladins could resupply for the journey ahead.  
He was checking on Goliath's saddle when a man approached him. He stopped a few feet away from him, but the Monk saw the man beckon for him. He sighed audibly, not in the mood for idle chit chat with someone. The Monk approached him.  
The man appeared nervous "So uh... they dealt with those feys yet ? Saw them leaving their homes not long ago. I followed them to see where they went ?"  
Fine, it looked like it was worth his attention after all "Which feys ?"  
The man shifted his balance "Well uh... I can tell you for a price.."  
Of course, it had to be one of those types. He resisted the urge to intimidate the man into telling him and went with a different approach "Tell me and I'll see if it's worth my time."  
It seemed to work as the man explained "They went to the North, set up small camp. I gave the Huntsman a map a while ago, he paid well for it. For a price I'll draw you a map too."  
He should have known. The Huntsman must have found the camp abandoned as well not long before him. And of course he wouldn't tell Father Carden of his failure, it would not earn him his coin.  
"That won't be necessary. Besides, the Huntsman has already paid you well. You said it yourself." The Monk walked away, leaving the stunned man behind.  
The man didn't dare to speak his mind out loud but the Monk still heard the cursing as he walked back to Goliath.

He was certain now. This could not be a coincidence, the Huntsman acquiring a map of the location in the North and not long after, it was abandoned...  
The Monk knew you must have taken that map, or at least seen it. He doubted that the Huntsman knew you were doing this. The Huntsman loved his coin far too much, and he loved to torture the fey too much as well.  
You were not making it easy for the Monk to do his job. Father would be anything but pleased to hear that another fey camp was abandoned. He was conflicted, exposing you as a spy would make his job easier, even if you were to tell on him for sparing the fey boy. Yet, he found your bravery admirable. You were not a fighter and still dared to challenge him. He hated to admit he found it refreshing. Perhaps he could convince you to stop warning the fey, before he would be forced to stop you himself.  
He sighed in frustration as he mounted his horse, he would reach Mirstone by dark if he left now.


	7. The Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Monk arrives in Mirstone to confront you about what he has found out about the fey camp in the North.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Lowkey Slut-shaming. Which will get worse in some chapters, be warned.

You had wrapped a warm scarf around your neck to hide the bruises that had formed from Draegan's grip on your throat. The last thing you wanted was the stares from the other villagers.  
You waited until dark before you started to copy the maps you had 'borrowed' from the bag. You were drawing the last details of the maps when you heard the door of your home creak, alerting you to the fact that somebody had entered your small home. Damnit, you hadn't locked your front door. You discreetly moved the maps under some books before turning around to see who it was.  
And when you did your heart dropped.  
The Weeping Monk was standing in the doorway.  
Why was he here ? You nor your brother were expecting a visit from Father Carden today and they never came this late in the evening. Your brother would not have left otherwise.  
The thought crossed your mind that maybe he had told Father Carden about you trying to help a fey anyway.  
You stood up from your chair but showed no intention to move closer to him.  
"Is Father Carden gracing us with another visit ?" You asked in a obviously fake polite voice.  
The corner of his mouth turned up but it was gone in a flash as he shook his head.  
He was staring at you now, his eyes following you as you walked around the place. You could feel that he was choosing his next words cautiously and calculated.  
"No. I came alone." He stated after a moment of silence.  
You straightened your back, taking on a defensive stance "Have you come to kill me after all then ?"  
He started to walk around the place as if he was studying you "No."  
You hated to admit that it was unnerving "Then why have you come ?"  
He folded his hands behind his back, now facing you "I've been told your brother has recently acquired a map."  
Damn. The one who sold your brother the map had not kept their mouth shut about it to the Monk.  
You kept your composure, perhaps he assumed your brother was keeping it to get more coin "I'm afraid my brother is not here. He's..working."  
You hated to call it for what it was. Hunting fey.  
"I'm aware." He quirked a brow.  
Damn.. he had indeed come for you after all.  
He stepped closer towards you and you stood your ground "A map that held the location of a fey camp that is now deserted."  
"I don't see how I can help you with that. My brother is the one who you should be asking about that." You tried to avoid the topic of the map completely.  
"Those who help the fey will meet the same fate " He stared you down.  
You felt a chill go down your spine.  
He knew.  
He knew you were warning them. He had hinted to it in the forest but you had hoped he was just trying to unnerve you.  
There was no question now that he believed you had taken the map and warned the fey in the North, why else would he have come here to talk to you alone about it ? You did try to save the fey boy from him and he must have connected the dots pretty quickly after that.  
"I'm aware." You parroted his own words.  
Then he took two steps closer, and in response you grabbed a pan that was on the table, willing to hit him if he got any closer.  
His eyes fell on the pan in your hands before they locked on your face.  
He smirked and let out a scoff "Tell me the locations of the fey camps. I know the Huntsman has acquired the information. I know you have seen it when I was here with Father. Don't lie to me." He sounded irritated.  
"And cost me my brother's payment from Father Carden ? Forget it." It was a plausible excuse, you actually could not care less about the payment. Besides, you had already warned those camps. The new maps where laying under the stack of books on the table. You hoped he wouldn't think that you would hide them in a similar spot again.  
He was anything but pleased with the answer, the tension between you and him was palpable "You intend to warn them, don't you ?"  
His voice was lower then it had been moments ago. It was not a question. It was a statement.  
You tried to stay calm, but it was starting to tick you off how the Monk seemed adamant to keep bothering you. Didn't he have other things to keep himself occupied ? You were still the sister of the Huntsman, and as long as you didn't confess to warning the fey to Father Carden he had no solid proof to give to Carden. It could be anyone in this village, even one of your brother's men.  
You spoke through gritted teeth "You can't make me tell you anything, Monk. This is the Huntsman's village, all I have to do is tell one of his men that you are trying to undermine my brother's work."

He was glaring at you now, he knew you were right and it aggravated him tremendously. He was on thin ice coming here without the permission of the Huntsman or Father Carden. The Monk knew he would have to intimidate you into telling him "Do you think you can outrun me and reach one of them then ?"  
Your grip on the pan tightened at his question.  
He took two steps around the table in your direction.  
You backed away to stay out of his reach "Stay away from me, you bastard !"  
You held up the pan, ready to strike if he came within your reach.  
He stopped and scoffed at the sight "I could kill you, y/n. I should kill you. If you had not been the Huntsman's sister I would have killed you the moment you attacked me in the forest. Are you truly willing to die to protect the fey ?"  
Was this it ? Was he really going to kill you in your own home ?  
You gave a short nod, you had lost your patience with this arrogant bastard "I am. I will die knowing that I protected the innocent from you ! From the torture they would face by your paladin bastards !"  
Even though he was far more skilled then you, you were not going down without a fight. You launched at him with the pan and almost caught him off-guard. He thought you were bluffing, he had not expected that you would be brave enough to fight him.  
He ducked just in time so it hit his shoulder hard instead of his face, he turned to the side as he grabbed your wrists. He disarmed you and the sound of steel alerted you that he had drawn his sword. He grabbed hold of you as you tried to escape from his grasp, turning you so your back was against his chest, he held the sword to your throat.  
"You confess then ?" He spoke lowly, you could feel his breath on the side of your face.  
"I guess we both secretly help the fey." You struggled against him but he kept you in a firm grasp.  
He knew you would remind him of the fact that he spared the boy.  
You elbowed him in the ribs, and he let out a pained groan. His grip faltered momentarily but he pulled you against his chest again, and pressed the sword against your throat now. Making sure you couldn't do that again, not giving you the room to move your elbow anymore. Not giving you room to move at all.  
This was not supposed to go this way, he had wanted to give you a warning “Don't force me to kill you, y/n.”  
What ? Was that not why he had come here in the first place ?  
You stopped struggling for a moment “Why have you come here, Monk ?”  
He moved his sword so it was no longer pressing directly against your skin “Stop warning the fey. It will not end well for you. Father will not be as forgiving as I am.”  
“I don't seek forgiveness for saving lives.” You let out an insulted scoff.  
The Monk had no good counter answer for that. He could say that he was saving their souls by killing them, but your words from the forest still haunted him. Remembering how you had told him he was damning his own soul that way.  
When he took a deep breath out of frustration he became aware just how closely he was holding you against him. He had done this with other people before but somehow it felt different now. He resisted the urge to step away from you. The close proximity to you was making him nervous, it felt too...intimate.

The sudden silence between you made you uneasy, he was holding you so close that you had felt his chest rise and fall as he had taken a deep breath. And then.. silence.  
As if both of you were unaware of how close you were standing against each other before he had done that. In that moment it was as if something shifted in the atmosphere between you, he was no longer holding you as firmly as he had been.  
After another second that felt much longer he spoke again, you noticed that he sounded calmer now. He sounded different, persuasive even.  
“Be smart, y/n. Don't be brave.” He tried to sound convincing, knowing that the latter would certainly cost you your life one day. The Monk remained still as he contemplated his next action, then he slowly moved his sword away from your throat.  
“You would spare my life if I stopped ?” It confused you, there was no way Father Carden would agree to this.  
“Father nor the Huntsman are aware of what you have done. If you stop, I will overlook this. This never happened, just like you and the boy were never in the forest that night.”  
You frowned at that before understanding what was going on.  
You had leverage on him, and now he had leverage on you.  
He would keep his mouth shut about you having warned the fey and you wouldn't rat him out for letting the boy go. It had never been your intention to rat on him for that, but it seemed he did not trust you for that matter.  
“Alright... I'll stop.” You said calmly, lying through your teeth to the Monk. If he believed you had stopped it would buy you enough time to bring the new information to the fey.

Another moment passed by before he let go off your arm and released you from his grip.  
You immediately turned around and took a couple of steps away from him. Being so close to him felt strange.  
He watched as you stepped away from him the moment he had let go of you, he hoped the warning was clear. But he had a feeling you weren't going to be so easily convinced. You had a stubborness that matched his own.  
His expression hardened again “If you lied to me-”  
“You'll kill me. Got it.” You snapped at him, you hated how he was bossing you around like this. How he had the arrogance to just waltz in here.  
The he suddenly looked past you and you turned to see what had caught his attention.

Brogan had entered your home as well "Ah, what do we have here ? I thought I heard another voice in here."  
This was not looking well for you, if he told your brother about the Weeping Monk being in your home it would further push him to believe that you were indeed working with the Monk... among other things.  
The Monk looked at Brogan, a brow raised as the man stepped further inside your home.  
"Thought you'd have better taste, little bird. And a man of the cloth at that ?" Brogan tsked. It sounded terribly demeaning. Like he was scolding a toddler.  
The Monk narrowed his eyes when he heard the comment, not understanding what Brogan was insinuating "What ?"  
"We were just talking." You firmly stated.  
Brogan scoffed "Just talking, eh ? With him ? He doesn't look like the talking type to me."  
If it had been unclear to the Monk what Brogan was insinuating, it was clear now.  
You saw the Monk shift his balance, looking uncomfortable being there all of a sudden.  
Oh great. Had you known that, you would have tried something similar to scare him out of your house.  
"Believe what you wish, Brogan. The truth is that we were talking. As you stated yourself, didn't you say you heard another voice as you tried to eavesdrop on me again ?" You refused to let Brogan bully you in your own damn home. He had a tendency to be this demeaning to you and get into your business. Most likely to rat you out to your brother.  
Brogan's expression hardened, not pleased with the way you defended yourself "I am-"  
You interupted him "Leaving. As is the Monk. Get OUT of my home ! Both of you !"  
The anger was boiling inside of you, it would help to make it clear that neither of them were welcome there.  
The Monk looked at you, he seemed almost startled at your sudden outburst of rage.  
And so did Brogan. Your patience had run out.  
The Monk scoffed and shook his head as he headed towards the door.  
Brogan tried to get his attention by glaring at him, the Monk walked into Brogan's shoulder as he passed him by.  
"Damn paladin dog.." Brogan uttered once the Monk left.  
Then he turned to you and you glared at him.  
He chuckled, a sound that send a chill through you, before he also left your home.  
You drew a deep breath, scolding yourself for forgetting to lock the door.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You head out to the meeting spot Gawain had showed you on the map, unaware that you have been followed.

You had planned to go to the meeting spot in the forest that night. But the visit from the Monk made you decide to wait until the next evening. You knew your brother would not return to Mirstone yet as the fey camps he was travelling to were further away and you had meddled with some details on the maps he took with him. And he would without a doubt try to track the fey when he would find the camps deserted.  
You had managed to "borrow" a sword one of your brother's men had left behind. It's quality was questionable..no wonder he had left it behind. But at least you had something useful to defend yourself this time. Better then a branch at least, although you had more experience with a branch and pan then with an actual sword.  
The closest you had been to a sword had been the few times the Monk had used his to threaten you.  
His visit last night still lingered in your mind, he was right. He could easily kill you if he wished to do so. But he hadn't. He had spared your life a second time. For someone notorious for killing, he seemed almost reluctant to do it. Perhaps Gawain was right and there was more to the Monk then the stories about him. He had some form of morals unlike the Red Paladins.  
He had killed the fey in the forest that night but did not actually seem to enjoy it. As if it was a burden for him to do it.  
He had let you and the fey boy, Squirrel, go free, even though he must have known Father Carden would never approve of it. He showed mercy when the paladins didn't even know the meaning of the word.  
Perhaps deep down he knew he wasn't truly saving souls, could it be that the Monk had a concious after all ? But it meant nothing if his actions did not show for it.  
You knew you would be in trouble upon your brother's return. Brogan would surely tell him about the Monk being in your home so late at night, alone with you.  
Draegan was already paranoid there was something suspicious going on between you and this might be the thing that caused your demise. Not the fact that you were helping the fey, no, the fact that he believed your were helping his rival.  
You would rather it be the former. The idea that he believed you were involved with that damn Monk was almost an insult.  
You ducked when you passed under some low hanging branches on your horse. The leaves still brushed through your hair and over your back. Some fell on your jacket and you brushed them off.  
After a while you felt thirsty and grabbed your flask, you already knew by the weight of it that it was empty. Luckily you had been following the river so you dismounted and went to the river to fill the flask.  
You gulped some water down, and splashed some on your face for refreshment.  
"You're a long way away from your village, y/n." A hoarse voice said.  
You spun around when you recognised the voice.  
You drew your sword at the sight of him.  
Well.. you attempted to draw your sword but it took you a second longer then it would have taken someone who frequently used a sword.  
The Monk was leaning against a tree, a hand resting on his sword as always.  
"Are you following me now ?" You snapped at him.  
He looked at you as if you had just asked him something that should have been obvious "Why should I bother tracking the fey when you could easily lead me to their camps ?"  
You rolled your eyes at him "You need to stay away from me, Monk. My brother believes there is something going on between us. And you showing up around me all the time is not helping."  
The Monk looked at you confused before scoffing "He believes we're working together ?Unbelievable."  
"Among other things." You deadpanned and he frowned for a moment before he figured out what that meant.  
You could see by his expression that he understood, the Monk looked uncomfortable now.  
'Good' You thought.  
You let out a soft scoff and shook your head "Yeah..".  
Then you waved your hand as if you were trying to shoo him away "So, if you could please go away. I'd prefer to keep my reputation. The last thing I need is idle gossip about me and..."  
You gestured to him and noticed he evaded looking at your face.

You rolled your eyes when he showed no intention to leave "Besides, I'm not going to a 'fey camp'."  
He did not show it but you could just feel that he did not believe you.  
"Where to then ?" He tapped his fingers on his sword, something that ticked you off even more.  
His high and mighty attitude bugged you to no end.  
But you had to come up with a quick believeable lie. Or at least something to throw him off.  
"Where are your red brothers, Monk ? Afraid they might question why you continue to follow around a woman instead of what Father Carden expects you to be doing ?" You shot back and watched as he figured out what you were trying to achieve.  
It took him a while to answer and you started to walk back to your horse.  
"Do you believe Father will spare you ?" The Monk sounded frustrated "Stop warning the fey. Before you will leave us no choice."  
“I'm not warning them anymore! I left Mirstone to be alone without one of my brother's men breathing down my neck and now you're the one doing it.”  
He didn't believe a word you said “I offered to spare your life, offered to keep this between us. Consider this an act of clemency from an ally."  
"Clemency ?! You are not my ally ! You are my brother's ally, not mine." You were barely containing your anger now.  
He remained calm, but the frustration he felt was audible in his voice "And that is why I offer this. It is not my intention to cross the Huntsman. Be smart, y/n."  
You shook your head, you were done with this conversation “Clemency.. from who ? Your god ? I don't believe in a god that would ask for all this suffering and death."  
"Your brother believes in it." He countered almost matter-of-factly but there was a hint of sarcasm to it.  
You glared at him before replying coldly "The only thing my brother believes in is coin."  
The Monk did not seem suprised to hear you say that, it was no secret that the Huntsman would do anything for the right pay. At least you were honest and did not pretend to believe in something to gain something else. But he noticed you sounded different when you talked about your brother. When he had mentioned him in the forest before, you had gone suddenly silent as well.  
"I am trying to spare you from the torture you will face should Father find out what you have done! Why do you continue to help them ?!" He grabbed hold of your arm when you tried to walk past him.  
When he had grabbed your arm he realised too late that he had also touched the leaf that was stuck to your jacket at your elbow.  
The pattern of leaves spread across the skin of his hand. He was rooted to the spot when he felt it happen, his eyes went to your face immediately.  
You had seen it, seen how the pattern of leaves spread across his hand that was holding your arm.  
Neither one of you moved at first.  
Your eyes widened and snapped to his face.  
He was fey ?? HIM ?! The bloody Weeping Monk was a fey ??!  
"Why ?" Was all you could say from shock.  
And then he abruptly let go off your arm, knowing what you had meant with that question.  
He took some steps back away from you as his skin slowly turned back to normal.  
Why would a fey do this to his own kind ? Was this Father Carden's work or had this been his own choice ?  
He said nothing, as if all knowledge of words had left him. But you could see something you had never seen before.  
Fear.  
There was fear in his eyes. It was gone in a flash, and his expression hardened again.  
"Why are you doing this to the fey, to your people ?!" You demanded to know.  
"They are not my people !" He bit back.  
You pointed at him accusingly "Yes, they are ! Do the paladins know what you are ?"  
His expression at that question made it clear that they in fact did not.  
"Then why ? Why do this ?" You felt angry and upset about this revelation.  
"We're saving souls." The Monk said again, sounding like he was trying to convince himself of it as well.  
Your brows drew together and you scoffed "You truly believe what Father Carden says don't you ? You believe you're damned for being a fey ? That all the fey are damned ?"  
The Monk looked at the ground, he never expected you to realise this. To realise that he believed he was damned just like the rest of the fey.  
"What about the fey children then ? Do they need to be 'saved' as well ?"  
"I don't harm the children !" He was defensive, as if the thought of harming a child repulsed him.  
You let out a breath that sounded more like a scoff "No. You traumatise them."  
You felt a silent rage building within you and you found yourself stepping closer in his direction as you spoke "Do you truly believe that killing the fey will save their souls ? Save your soul ?"  
You stopped only a few steps away from him as you faced him "Do you ?"  
He was eerily silent, his eyes evading your glare.  
"Father Carden wishes to cleanse this land but all he brings is blood and ash. Those fey children you let free ? They will forever be haunted by the knowledge that their homes were burned. Their families killed. And for what ? Salvation ? Does that sound like salvation to you ?"  
You saw him swallow uncomfortably and he shifted on his feet. It was almost funny to see the Weeping Monk looking almost intimitated by you.  
"In a couple of years from now that fey boy will be an adult. Will you cut his throat then ?"  
That made his eyes snap back to you, looking like you had just insulted him "No !"  
The answer came quick but then his gaze fell to the ground.  
A strange feeling krept up on you, as you watched him you got the feeling that he was thinking about your words. Could it truly be ? Was the Weeping Monk conflicted ?  
"No ?" You broke the silence "Perhaps you won't. But you can be damn sure that your red brothers will burn and kill the children you have spared. It is only a matter of time."  
Right then a wagon stopped on the road next to where you were standing.  
A man called out to you "Is that man bothering you, love ?"  
The Monk visibly rolled his eyes at the question, not happy with the interruption.  
You gave him a shit-eating grin, talking just loud enough for the Monk to hear "Are you ?"  
The Monk scoffed when he figured out that you were using this to your advantage.  
He stepped back, not wanting things to turn ugly over this.  
You smirked victoriously and called out to the man "No. But thank you good sir. The man was just leaving."  
The Monk shook his head at your audacity and walked away without giving you or the man another look.  
Luckily he rode off in the opposite direction of where you were headed.  
You waited for an hour before you continued to the place Gawain had shown you on the map. This time you made sure you were not followed.

Night had fallen when you arrived at the meeting point, you did as Gawain had instructed and after collecting some firewood you started a fire. They must have been keeping an eye on the spot as soon a voice called out your name.  
Your eyes focused on the small form approaching followed by a larger one.  
A smile spread on your face when you saw who it was “Squirrel !”  
“You found it !” The boy seemed just as excited to see you.  
Gawain and him stopped in front of you “I am glad to see you've kept your word.”  
You pulled the maps you had copied yourself from your jacket and waved them with a victorious smile “Of course I did.”  
Gawain took the maps from you and looked at them quickly “We had no idea these fey hideouts were compromised.. thank you, y/n. You have earned the name, Fey Guardian.”  
“I see you have kept your word as well, Squirrel looks healthy.” You commented and nodded to the boy. Pleased to see the boy was safe and well.  
“Healthy, but..” The boy started but stopped.  
Gawain looked at the boy curiously “But what, young man ?”  
Squirrel looked up at you “Well..I'm starving.. we're starving. The paladins have burned down our food supplies and mills.”  
By the looks on Gawain's face you knew the boy was telling the truth. You remembered how the Monk had spoken about the food supplies running low for the fey to Draegan and Father Carden.  
You quickly walked to your horse and opened the bag that you had taken with you and took out the bread you had with you. The boy's eyes lit up as you handed it to him.  
“You don't have to-” Gawain seemed suprised by the kind gesture.  
“I want to.” You interupted him.  
He gave a grateful nod, and the boy thanked you before stuffing some bread in his mouth.  
“We have one more mill, we're going to see if we can bring back flour from it.” Gawain explained to you, sounding hopefull.  
There was at least some hope then “I haven't heard anything about a mill, none of the information I saw points to my brother knowing of it's existence.”  
He let out a breath “Good. I will take some of the best fighters with me and go there tomorrow. Thank you, y/n. For everything you have done for us.”  
You didn't feel like you deserved that “It's the least I can do considering who my brother is..”  
“You are not guilty of your brother's actions, y/n.” Gawain said firmly.  
You nodded, but you felt guilty anyway. Draegan was your kin and everywhere he goes his cruelty followed “I should head back. Perhaps I can still get some sleep before the sun rises. Good luck, Gawain. Keep that boy safe for me ?”  
He reached out his hand to shake and you took it, he patted you on the shoulder “I swear I will. Be careful travelling through these woods alone.”  
You swallowed at that, remembering how you had run into the Monk before you arrived here. You gestured to the sword at your side “Always.”  
Squirrel didn't shake your hand, he walked up to you and threw his arms around you to pull you into a hug. You let out a suprised chuckle and ruffled his hair “I'll see you around, you rascal.”  
“Oi !” He escaped from your hand and brushed his hair with his hand.  
He and the Green Knight left the meeting spot again and you extinguished the fire you had made before mounting your horse again and beginning the journey home.  
The villager from a nearby town who had seen what was happening however did not go home, no, he went to inform the Red Paladins of what he had witnessed. And he was paid well for it in exchange.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Monk is informed about your actions the previous night by Father Carden. That morning you are awoken early by loud banging on your door.

The Monk disliked how every time he had spoken to you, you had said something that was tearing at things he was already struggling with. Your words got under his skin. You got under his skin. The way you spoke to him… you were not afraid to speak your mind even if it was dangerous to do so. And now you knew he was fey.  
You knew the truth and if you were to share that secret with the Huntsman or the paladins he feared what the result would be. The Monk wondered why you had not threatened to use it against him. Why you had not tried to blackmail him with it. Instead you had faced him with a truth he had not dared to face before. That the fey children he had spared would one day be killed, that it was only a matter of time. He felt like he had been punched in the gut, he would have prefered an actual punch to the gut.  
You were right and he had to face the truth, the problem was that he could not accept it. Now that you knew his secret you were an even bigger threat to him, to his life. Still, his reluctance to kill you had grown every time he had spoken to you. Though you were not even an ally, the conversations…or arguments he had had with you had been the longest and possibly most honest ones that he had ever had.  
He hadn’t followed you after he had left you in the forest. He needed to clear his mind, and he couldn’t do that if he would stay and keep an eye on you. So he rode back to the paladin camp. Back to Father.

He had reached the Paladin camp by morning. The journey had done little to clear his mind.  
The Monk walked around the place until he spotted Father Carden. Father beckoned for him and he approached Father Carden and knelt before him to greet him. As the Monk knelt he felt the guilt for his lack of faith again, he felt as if he was failing Father because your words were holding a power over him. It was clouding his mind.  
Father laid a hand on his shoulder, signalling for the Monk to rise to his feet.  
And when he looked at Father, he noticed he seemed stressed.  
“Welcome back, my son. There is much to be discussed.” Father let go off his shoulder.  
“There has been word.” Father Carden announced and the Monk looked at him, it sounded serious. “It appears the fey have a ‘Fey Guardian’ now.”  
“Fey guardian ?” The Monk repeated the title he had not heard about before.  
“That’s what they call her.” Father Carden said with a grim smile.  
The Monk hoped his instinct was wrong and that this was not about you “Who ?”  
“The huntsman’s sister has been seen by a villager as she was warning the fey of her brother’s next locations.” Father Carden spoke formally yet a strong bitter tone was audible in his voice.  
He knew the day would come, yet the Monk never expected that he would dread it this much “Perhaps the villager saw someone who looked like her. Why would she go against her brother ?”  
Father Carden explained what his plan was “Rumors often bear truth in them, my son. We will bring her here, we will get her to talk. This is bad news, but perhaps we can harvest something positive from it. If it is true, the Huntsman will not speak of an increase of coin again. He will have to work for us for free to spare her life.“  
The Monk did not like the sound of that plan, you would be tortured for information regardless wether the Huntsman would agree to the terms or not. When Father had said he would get you to talk, it meant you would be meeting Brother Salt.  
His chest felt heavy, he felt something clawing at him from the inside. Perhaps he could prevent it ? If Father send him to collect you he could give you the chance to run. You would no longer be a threat and surely Father Carden would want to focus on cleansing the fey instead of hunting down one woman.  
"I shall bring her to you, Father.” He offered.  
“I’ve already send for her. I have a more important task for you.” Father Carden turned to him.  
The Monk casted his eyes to the ground at the news as he listened to what Father asked of him.

OooOooooooooOOOooooooOOOOoooooOOOOOooooo

You had arrived back in Mirstone some time before dawn and managed to actually get some sleep.  
It lasted until you were awoken by loud banging on your front door. Your brother could not have returned yet so you assumed it was Brogan.  
And when you opened the door you were indeed faced with Brogan…and a horde of Red Paladins.  
“What have you done, little bird ?” Brogan asked accusingly.  
You looked at the paladins, most had drawn their weapons and you knew your secret was discovered. Had the Monk told them ?  
“I have done nothing wrong.” It was no lie, saving the fey was not wrong to you.  
One of the paladins stepped forward to speak “You will come with us to Father Carden to be judged.”  
“Judged ? On what charges ?” You stared the paladin down.  
“Conspiracizing with the fey.” The paladin nodded to the others, they stepped forward and grabbed you.  
Brogan shook his head in disapprovement “And here I thought you were cozying up with that Weeping Monk, instead you were undoing all our hard work.”  
Hearing him say that made something snap in you, you had had enough of his insults and demeaning attitude. You spat in his face. He didn’t expect that, you had always brushed his behaviour off. But if you were going to die, you might as well have some fun along the way.  
The paladins pulled you away from him and shoved you into a carriage as they bound your hands.

OoooooooooOOOoooOOOOooOooOOooooOOoooo

He had completed the task Father Carden had asked of him. Turns out the task Father Carden had for him was simple.  
Capture the Green Knight and bring him back alive. Something that he had succesfully done apart from one significant mistake. The Green Knight knew he was fey. The Monk had stumbled during his fight with the Green Knight, and his hand had touched the leaves on the ground.  
He approached Father in the camp, the Green Knight laid wounded on his horse. Another man approached them both.  
“Is this him ?” The man sounded very interested. The Monk looked at him from the corner of his eyes, not recognising the man.  
The man came to stand in front of them “Is this the famous Weeping Monk ?”  
The Monk looked at Father questioningly, wondering why the man seemed so interested in who he was. His instincts told him there was something 'off’ with how the man looked at him.  
“His Holiness has sent Abbot Wicklow to observe us in our campaign against the fey.” Father nervously explained.  
Abbot Wicklow gave a comfirming nod at the explanation.  
Father walked over to the man drapped over the horse “So, what have you brought us ?”  
“The Green Knight.” The Monk answered. Wishing he didn’t have to bring him at all considering he knew his secret. The fact that Abbot Wicklow was present made things even worse.  
“God smiles on us today.” Father was pleased at his success.  
Two paladins grabbed the Green Knight and pulled him from the horse.  
Father stood in front of the Knight “This one..this one likes to hide up trees and shoot my men. One of them died in my arms on a ride through the Minotaur. His name was Peter, if I recall. Fourteen. Butcher boy. Got a barbed arrow in the neck. Died swallowing his own blood. Are you proud of that, Green Knight ?”  
The Knight glared at Father in response.  
“No ?” Father responded for him “No answer ?”  
Father turned to Wicklow to explain “We like that. We have Brother Salt and his kitchens for the quiet ones.”  
The Monk knew what that meant, Brother Salt was famous among the paladins for his interogation tactics.  
Wicklow came closer to the Knight and stared at him “Uncanny. He almost passes for human.”  
Wicklow’s eyes went to the Monk for less then a second before he looked at Father.  
The Monk had noticed it, it had been intentional, he grew more restless which each passing second that they spend around the Green Knight.  
“Some can, yes.” Father agreed with Wicklow’s statement “And that’s how they spread.”  
Father approached the knight again “By fire..or by steel.. you will sing to us. And you will tell us all we need to know about where to find the feys you have been hiding from us.”  
The Green Knight smirked at that “You want my words, priest ?”  
Father gestured to the Knight to speak in his ear as if he was asking a toddler “Oh, I do. I do.”  
“Are you sure ?” The Knight questioned again in a taunting tone “I know many things. Many secrets.”  
The Knights eyes went from Father to the Monk. Father turned to look at him.  
The Monk had not had the chance to tell Father the Green Knight knew what he was.  
If the Knight revealed his secret Abbot Wicklow would surely order the trinity guards to kill him. And Father would have to face the consequences of keeping his heritage a secret all this time.  
Father looked back at the Knight, realising the situation was dire should the Knight speak further “Take him to brother Salt.”  
The Knight only groaned in pain as the paladins dragged him away from Father and Abbot Wicklow.  
He had expected that the Knight would reveal his secret, that he would seek revenge on him after what he did. But the Knight had remained silent. He had kept his secret. The secret that would have cost the Monk his life.  
Why ? Why had the Knight not exposed him ?  
Father glared at him for a second, clearly angered that he had made this terrible mistake.  
Father went with Wicklow to speak of other things, leaving him to wonder why his enemy would keep his secret.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are kept as a prisoner in the Paladin camp and await the judgement of Father Carden. The Monk’s faith begins to waver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Sexual intimidation (?)

You had arrived at the Paladin camp not long before the Monk had returned with the Green Knight, a fact that you were not aware of.  
They had pushed you into a large tent, but they had removed the ropes from your hands. They did guard the tent outside. You had heard them speak of your brother, whispering about some sort of agreement or exhange to be made. Perhaps this was why they had removed the ropes, it left you to think about what sort of agreement they were speaking off.  
You wondered how they knew about you warning the fey. Had the Monk ratted you out after all ?  
After perhaps two hours two paladins entered the tent you were held in. You had been sitting on the floor but stood up as they walked inside.  
“We’re here to inspect you for fey marks, girl.” One of them announced with a sleazy grin.  
Your brows drew together, what were they talking about ? “I am not fey !”  
The other spoke up “Father Carden has reasons to believe you are, you helping the fey and all that sure does make you look suspicious.”  
“I can assure you I have no fey marks because I AM NOT FEY !” Your voice reached a higher octave at their sheer stupidity.  
One of them pulled out his short sword, showing you that they were serious.  
“Show us your back, girl. Do we need to help you ?” He stepped closer in your direction and you backed away from them. It was clear that they would not take ‘no’ for an answer. It made your stomach turn.  
You feared what would happen if they lost their patience “No ! No, I’ll do it.”  
The shared look between them betrayed them. They were perverts.  
You turned around and began to slowly take of your clothes as you bit back the tears that were forming in your eyes. You refused to give these bastards the satisfaction of seeing you cry.  
You couldn’t prevent that your hands were shaking when you took of your jacket and dropped it on the floor. You took longer to unlace your shirt, much longer.  
It was starting to get on their nerves as one of them spoke up "What’s taking so long ? We ain’t got all day !”  
He took a step towards you but the sound of another person entering the tent made both of you freeze. For a moment you thought another one would be watching you as well and your stomach turned at the thought.  
“What are you doing?” A voice spoke accusingly. You looked behind you when you recognised the voice.  
Great. The Monk was here now too.  
You were about to reply when it became clear that he wasn’t aiming the question at you.  
After an uncomfortable silence one of the paladins replied “We’re checking her back. See if she’s cut of her wings.”  
The Monk narrowed his eyes at them “What ?”  
He asked the question as if they had just said something incredibly stupid.  
“Father wants us to check if she is fey. We need to see her back.” The other one explained nervously.  
He stepped further into the tent, approaching them until he stood right in front of them. His hand resting on his sword.  
He stared both of them down before he spoke “She’s not fey.”  
“Father Carden said-” One of them tried to object but was cut short by him.  
“He said nothing. Father knows she is human. Shall I inform Father of your true intentions ?” He threatened the Paladin.  
The paladins looked at each other for a moment, looking frightened.  
“Yes ?” The Monk asked them impatient, you noticed the hidden anger in his tone.  
They quickly shook their heads before both darting past him out of the tent.  
You didn’t know if you should breath in relief or not. The two creepy paladins were gone but you were left alone in the tent with the Monk while your shirt was already halfway open. You crossed your arms in front of your chest and tried to keep your shirt closed that way. You were still standing with your back turned to him.  
He approached you slowly, as if he was expecting you to run off even though the tent was guarded by other paladins outside.  
You were able to avoid crying, but not trembling. Not from fear, no, you knew the Monk was not like those paladins. This situation was just humiliating.  
He stopped not far from you and bend down to pick up your jacket.  
You noticed how he kept his eyes averted from you, and maybe it was your imagination but… were his cheeks flushed ?  
No. It must have just been your imagination. The stress of the situation taking on strange forms.  
He held out your jacket to you. You looked at him uncertain before you reached out a hand while still trying to keep yourself covered.  
You took your jacket from him and immediately took two steps back.  
“Thank you..” You said quietly.  
He seemed a little suprised by that, he was silent for a second. That was when you realised that you had never said those words to him before. You watched as he turned away from you, gesturing for you to make yourself look decent again. It was strange to see that even now that he knew you had lied to him about stopping, he still acted civilized.  
“You told them. I’m suprised it took you this long. I thought-” You said but he quickly stopped you.  
“I didn’t.” He sounded..insulted ? “A villager saw you last night. They saw you giving the Green Knight the locations of the Huntsman’s next targets. I told you to stop and you lied to me.”  
The Monk did not sound angry…he sounded disappointed.  
“I don’t know what you want me to say, but I will not apologise for lying to safe the lives of innocents.” What did he expect ? Did he really think you would stand by and let it all happen ?  
He didn’t look in your direction as he spoke “Your brother has been informed of the situation. He’ll work for Father in exchange for your life. Soon you will be free, all you must do then is tell Father about the fey locations.”  
Why did it sound like he was trying to comfort you ?  
You let out a scoff and a grim chuckle “My brother will never agree to that. He’ll rather watch me burn, before he would work for free.”  
The Monk frowned at the given information “He’s your brother…”  
“He’s a monster.” You corrected him “All he cares about is himself and coin.”  
He fell silent, now finally daring to look at you. He always believed the Huntsman to be a less then pleasant person, but the fact that he would let his own sister die was something he had not considered. But you had lied to him before, you could be lying about this as well.  
“Don’t worry, Monk. I won’t tell them your secret. It would be hypocritical of me to use your fey heritage against you while I’ve been trying to save the fey all this time.” You quirked a brow.  
He stared at you quietly before casting his eyes to the ground.  
“And I won’t betray the fey either.” You added and the Monk’s eyes snapped to you.  
“They will torture you until you do, y/n !” He sounded exasperated and took a step in your direction.  
“I can handle pain!” You snapped back at him.  
His brows drew together when you had said that.  
Of course the Monk didn’t know that your brother was a cruel person long before he became the Huntsman. At least this time you would accept the pain, knowing that you had kept the fey safe. It was not a punch for nothing, a kick for nothing… it was to protect the lives of innocents.  
“Tell Father what you know.” He spoke firmly, it sounded like a command. Then he turned away from you and went to the exit of the tent. He turned his head to speak over his shoulder “Be smart, y/n. Don’t be brave. It will cost you your life.”  
You scoffed quietly, he had told you this before “It’s a price I am willing to pay.”  
He looked at you now and saw the determination in your eyes, he left the tent in silence.

All you had to do was share the information about the fey. Father would come to an agreement with the Huntsman and perhaps you could even benefit from it. You were intelligent, a useful asset.  
But the moment you had told him that you would willingly pay for it with your life the Monk had seen the look in your eyes. There was still that fire in them that threatened to spill out, and he knew right there and then that you would fight until the bitter end.  
Something else was on his mind as well. The Green Knight.  
Why had the Knight not exposed his secret ? He had stabbed him and brought him to Father and yet the Knight had remained silent about what he had seen in the forest. How his hand had resembled the pattern of leaves the moment it had touched the ones on the ground.  
He went to Brother Salt’s tent and passed him by as Brother Salt exited the place.  
He moved the nets drapped over the tent’s entrance as he stepped inside.  
The Monk took one look at the Green Knight tied to the chair, bloodied and bruised, Brother Salt had not been merciful. He never was.  
He turned his back on the Knight as he thought about what to say.  
“Don’t be afraid, Ash Man. I don’t bite.” The Knight was the first to speak.  
The Monk had not heard the name the Knight had used for him in many, many years. He had not expected to hear the name ever again. He turned to face the Knight, who even after all the torture he had already withstood, still seemed spirited.  
“It’s those eyes. The mark of the Ash Folk.” The Knight stated calmly “There haven’t been any in these lands for centuries. How did you find your way here ?”  
The Monk could prevent his skin from betraying his heritage, but the eyes betrayed him. No one had recognised the markings in a long time. The Knight must have seen or heard about the Ash Folk, how else could he know ?  
He stared at the Knight in silence, his wounds looked extremely painful. Blood ran down his nose, and one of his eyes was purple and swollen. All this suffering and he had not told anyone about his secret yet.  
The Green Knight spoke again at the Monk’s silence “Have you just come to watch me die ?”  
Finally he broke and confronted the Knight “Why didn’t you tell them ? Before..you could have told them but you didn’t. Why ?”  
The Knight replied in honesty “Because all fey are brothers. Even the lost ones.”  
The Monk shifted on his feet, it reminded him of how you had also kept his secret. How you had told him that you wouldn’t use his heritage against him. It seemed that you and the Green Knight shared the same loyalty towards all the fey.  
A loyalty he hoped to have with the paladins.  
No.  
No, they were loyal to him. Why did it feel like he had to convince himself of it ? He remembered Father’s words. Evil would try to cloud his mind.  
The Knight needed to be cleansed of the evil he was born from, at least the Monk tried to convince himself of that.  
“This suffering, it will cleanse you.” The Monk repeated the words Father Carden had told him many times during his upbringing.  
The Knight shook his head in disbelieve at the Monk’s words “You parrot their words, but you know it’s all lies. I can feel it in you, my brother.”  
He felt something tearing at him from the inside again at those words. This conversation kept reminding him of everything you had once said to him. All the doubts that were planted then were starting to sprout.  
He snapped at the Knight “You are not my brother.”  
“They have turned your mind so far inside out that you don’t know the difference between kindness and hate.” The Green Knight sounded dismayed.  
The Monk thought about his words, and felt them feed the doubts in his faith. He stepped closer to the Knight.  
The Knight looked at him with an expression of sympathy “Who did this to you ?”  
The Monk needed to remember why they were doing this, why this was necessary “We are saving souls. Your soul.”  
“Tell that to the little ones that you burn.” The Knight accused.  
Something shifted inside of the Monk, the accusation was a personal insult “I don’t harm the children.”  
The Knight frowned at his defence “You burn their homes, you slay their mothers and their fathers, and you watch your Red Brothers run them down on horses. And you see it all through those weeping eyes. That makes you guilty.”  
It had felt like a slap to the face, you had said a similar thing to him before. You had held up a mirror for him that he never dared to face and now the Knight had made him face it.  
He couldn’t stand to stay and listen anymore, he could feel it tear into him, into his faith.  
The Monk turned to leave and just before he left the tent the Green Knight called out to him again.  
“Brother !”  
The Monk stopped but did not face him, fearing that his expression might betray him.  
“You can fight. I’ve never seen anything like it. You could be our greatest warrior. Your people need you.” He still tried to get through to the Monk.  
“You are not my people.” The Monk replied defensively.  
The Green Knight looked at him disappointed “Then tell them. If this is were you belong, tell them what you are.”  
With those words the Monk felt as if something was clawing through him. Tearing at him, at his soul. Was this what Father meant ? Was this evil trying to lead him astray ?  
He could never tell them. They would never accept him.  
The Monk looked at the Knight, he knew he had gotten under his skin.  
“I’ll pray for you.” He told the Knight.  
“And I for you.” The Green Knight replied.  
The Monk fell silent as he left the tent. You had planted the seeds of doubt in his mind with every conversation and argument. And now they were sprouting, he could feel them grow inside of him, feel them take over and tear through his soul as they grew.  
He looked around the paladin camp as he tried to control his breathing, this was were he belonged. It had to be…


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Huntsman has send word to Father Carden. It was not the answer that Father Carden or the Monk expected to hear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Abusive violence/behaviour

Father had asked him to accompany him to King Uther. Abbot Wicklow had went along to speak to the king as well. What followed was what the Monk could only describe as childish bickering between all of them. Uther had refused to listen to Father and Wicklow’s attempts of negotation. And they had left again not long after they had arrived in a sour mood.  
The Monk dismounted from Goliath and let his hand brush the neck of the loyal horse for a moment before turning to follow Father and Wicklow. They were still bickering about things and his mind wandered to you. Had your brother send word that he agreed to the terms in the time that he was at Uther’s camp ? He must have. The Huntsman was always quick to settle important matters. As if someone had heard his thoughts, when he approached Father he saw a couple of paladins approach with you. He instantly noticed that your hands were bound this time.  
“Ah, our Fey Guardian. Has word been recieved from the Huntsman ?” Father Carden clapped his hands together smiling.  
“The Huntsman has refused the offer, Father. He said she must be judged for her crimes.” A paladin explained.  
The Monk’s eyes went wide at the news, had the Huntsman just given up his own sister ?  
Father sighed and walked to you, stopping right in front of you “That is unfortunate. Then I believe we have no use for you. Unless you have information to share ? Your brother or the Green Knight must have told you things that could be useful to us ? Locations of fey camps ?” He spoke to you in a condescending way “Or perhaps the names of those who help them, apart from yourself of course ?”  
From the corner of your eyes you can see the Monk tense up. It would be a lie to say that it didn’t cross your mind to tell Carden that one of his own had not only let a fey boy go but also had not mentioned that he let you go as well. You. A human who had helped the fey.  
But the Monk had been civil towards you, and it just felt wrong to do so.  
“I fear I cannot help you with that.” You bit back the urge to sneer the words at him.  
“Cannot or will not ?” Father was not pleased with your answer.  
You quirked a brow and tilted your head arrogantly “Whichever you prefer.”  
Father gestured to one of the paladins holding on to you, the paladin understood the silent command and slapped you across the face. The sound echoed in the Monk’s ears and his hand moved to the heft of his sword in response. It suprised him that seeing one of his red brothers hitting you caused that reaction within him. He could only hope no one had noticed how he had reacted.

This was not the first time someone had struck you in the face, it was less painful even. You turned to glare at Father Carden. It had only fueled your anger towards the priest.  
Then the Monk spoke up “She is useful to our cause, Father. She is his sister, the Huntsman must have confided in her.”  
Your brows drew together. What ? Was he trying to help you ?  
It backfired however when Father Carden spoke next.  
“That is indeed very likely.” He smiled at the Monk and you could swear you saw the Monk looking relieved. But then Father Carden straightened his back as he barked an order to the paladins that were holding you in place “Take her to see Brother Salt, she will tell him her secrets.”  
It appeared the Monk had not picked his words well. He had wanted to convince Father that you were valuable alive, not to torture the information out of you.  
The paladins started to pull you away but stopped when another paladin approached with a boy.  
Your heart stopped when you saw who it was.  
A quick look in the direction of the Monk and you saw recognition flashed on his face as he saw the boy.  
“Squirrel…” You whispered as the Paladins stepped aside and kept you in their grasp.  
“What is this ?” Father Carden gestured to the boy.  
“Fey scout. Caught him in the kitchens trying to free the Green Knight.” The paladin that was roughly holding Squirrel explained the situation.  
Until now you were unaware that they had captured Gawain as well, and now the boy had tried to save him.  
You noticed how the Monk’s expression had changed, as if something had shifted in him.  
Father grabbed hold of the boy’s face, trying to make the boy look at him “How many are with you boy ?” he snarled.  
You started to struggle against the paladins holding you in their grasp.  
“How many ?” Father snarled loudly as he tightened his grip on the boy’s face.  
The Monk was faced with what he feared would happen one day, just as you had tried to tell him.  
A child, the boy he let go free was now in the hands of his red brothers.  
He knew the boy was a fighter and what happened next came as no suprise to him.  
“Enough to kill you, you paladin scum !” The boy glared at him before he spat in Father’s face.  
The Monk hated to admit that his admiration for the boy had grown because of it, even if it was unwise of the boy to do that. His eyes quickly went to you, noticing the smirk plastered on your face at the boy’s action. He casted his eyes to the ground before he was tempted to do the same, he couldn’t prevent the tug at the corner of his mouth however.  
His desire to smirk at the action disappeared when Father spoke next.  
“Have Brother Salt take his measure as well. And tell him to start with that foul tongue of his.” He threatened before walking past the boy.

You had heard what Father Carden had commanded. You started to struggle against the two paladins holding you more fiercely “NO ! HE’S ONLY A CHILD, YOU BASTARD! YOU CAN’T DO THIS !”  
The Monk saw how you managed to elbow one of the paladins brutally in the face and kicked the other one in the groin. Two others came rushing to overpower you as they pushed you to your knees.  
Your screams rang into his ears and he could no longer stay silent.  
He stepped in front of the paladin holding on to the boy, blocking his path as he called out to Father “He’s just a boy.”  
You looked up at the Monk, noticing how he was publicly defying Father Carden now.  
Father Carden stopped dead in his tracks when he had heard him.  
“He’s no threat to us.” He stated, not daring to look at Father as he spoke.  
The boy looked up at the Monk as well, not expecting him to try and help “You.”  
He knew defying Father was an impossible task, but he couldn’t stand aside without at least trying to help the boy.  
“Take him away.” Father commanded before approaching him.  
Abbot Wicklow was looking from afar and watched with interest at the display.  
“No…” You whispered as you saw the paladin drag the boy away.  
The Monk knew what was coming. What always came when he would try to defy Father’s decisions.  
He braced for the impact knowing he would not be able to prevent it without terrible repercussions.  
Father struck him hard across the face, so hard that it had felt more like a punch.  
You looked at them in shock, having winced when the sound of Father Carden hitting the Monk echoed around the place. A pit formed in your stomach when you saw that the Monk just stood there and let it happen. He had not tried to defend himself at all. As if it was normal..as if it had happened many times before.  
“Why would you embarrass me ? Why ?” Father confronted him, angered and disappointed.  
The Monk remained silent, knowing that it was not a question to be answered.

When Father Carden walked away, the Monk remained still. But when the paladins pulled you from the ground his eyes found yours.  
You could see his inner turmoil was raging inside of them.  
You could see a tormented soul, wounded by those who were family.  
You saw him.  
You saw yourself.  
He was what you would have become if no one had been there to teach you that the fey were not the enemy. Had your sister not been there, your brother would have made you believe every lie about the fey.  
It was then that you realised just how they had turned a fey against his own kind. He must have been young..  
They had made him obedient, just as your brother had made you obedient. With violence and fear.  
With making him believe he needed to be saved from what he was.  
They had twisted his mind and moulded him into the perfect weapon for their goal.  
Yet, still. There must have been something left inside of him that knew it was all lies, why else would he try and help the boy. Why else would he try to have you spared ?  
The paladins dragged you away back to the tent they were keeping you in.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Monk is forced to face the truth he did not dare to face before. And you are visited by Brother Salt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Self-Flagellation (self-harm), violence, death.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I cannot save you from the flames. You have to have the will to do what is necessary. Do you have the will, my son ?”

“Yes, Father.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The answer to Father’s question had been a lie, not just to Father but to himself. He no longer felt the will to walk the path to salvation. The Monk had wished for salvation and sought it in the form of the scourge lashing at his back. He could feel the blood dripping from the wounds, but this time he didn’t feel cleansed. The physical pain only intensified his inner conflict. The conversation with the Green Knight was etched into his doubts, it had clawed at his already brittle faith. The words he had spoken haunted his thoughts.

“If this is were you belong, tell them. Tell them what you are.”

The Monk knew he could never do that, he’d burn for it. The fey were abominations in the eyes of the Red Paladins. They would turn against him if they found out he was fey. And even though he had stabbed The Green Knight and brought him to the Red Paladins where he was to be tortured and killed, the knight had protected him by keeping his heritage a secret.

“All fey are brothers. Even the lost ones.”

To the knight he was not damned like he was to Father.  
To the knight he was a brother.  
If this was evil tempting him to join it’s side, why did it appear to show him kindness and forgiveness that not even Father had shown him in all these years?  
As the Monk let the leather strike his skin again to cleanse himself of these doubts, his mind tried to make sense of it all.  
But deep down he knew.  
And after his short conversation with Father, he knew that the flames would always follow him.  
And your words about his soul rang loud inside of him.

“You’re damning your own.”

The moment he realised that the boy would be tortured, his faith shattered. He did not belong with them. He let out a shuddering breath, the pain from the lashes on his back barely registering. He had let you and the boy go in the forest and now he would have to watch as they tortured and killed the both of you anyway. He remembered your words to him, how you told him that every child he had spared would be killed one day. Only because of their heritage… his heritage. All this time you had tried to make him face the truth and he had not dared to do so.

Until now.  
None of it felt right. They were going to kill an innocent boy, and you, the only person who seemed to agree with him on that matter.  
The Green Knight’s words were still ringing in his ears.  
He was standing by, watching it all happen.  
He had tried to ignore the growing pit in his stomach that told him that it was true. It made him just as guilty for it all.  
Sure, you drove him to the brink of insanity, and you did warn the fey. But he still couldn’t bring himself to believe that you deserved to die.  
Not after how he saw you risking your life to protect the boy. He even admired your loyalty to the fey, you were as loyal to the fey as he had been to the Red Paladins. He had threatened your life not long ago and now you had protected his by keeping his heritage a secret. Abbot Wicklow had been standing closeby when Father had confronted you, had you exposed him, The Monk would have met his demise at the hands of the Trinity Guards. Not even Father would have been able to prevent it even IF he wished to do so.. 

You, not even his ally, had protected him. And one of his red brothers had slapped you across the face because you refused to betray the fey, refused to betray him…

As if by pure instinct his hand had reached for his sword, as if his instincts sought to protect you. Had you revealed what you knew about him, surely Abbot Wicklow would have had your life spared in exchange. The Monk could sense that Abbot Wicklow was suspicious of him. He thought about the similarities between you and him.

Father Carden and him.

The Huntsman and you.

Both standing next to those who seeked the extinction of the fey. The conversation with The Green Knight, repeating itself over and over again in his mind.

‘You see it all, through those weeping eyes. That makes you guilty.’

Guilt. A feeling that he had pushed away, but like a serpent it still twisted inside of him. Unlike him, you had not stood aside and watched it happen. No. You had helped the fey knowing it could cost you your life. Knowing that if Father found out about it he would have you tortured and burned. You, a human, had risked it all to save them. And now you had kept his secret about letting the boy go free in the forest. About him being fey. You could have talked your way to freedom, you were the Huntsman’s sister after all. The information you could share would certainly be valuable to the church. Instead you would now be tortured for it. The thought that he might hear you or the boy scream in pain soon, sickened him. He let the scourge fall from his hand. The suffering and pain had not cleansed him. He could feel the flames licking at his soul, threatening to burn him. He sat there motionless, thinking back to the conversation he had just had with Father. He would do as he had told Father. If he were to burn, then let it be for what he believed was just. When he closed his eyes and looked within himself, he found the will to do what was necessary.

ooOoooooooOOOoOOoOOOooOooOO

Those paladin bastards had tied you to a chair a few hours ago but not without catching another one of your elbows in the teeth the second one had bend down to tie your hands. You had tried to escape your dire situation, but the ropes cut into your skin. Guess they decided to play it safe and tie you tightly to the chair. Candles illuminated the tent as the sun had gone down. You hated the feeling of impending doom. The things Draegan had told you about Brother Salt’s methods kept going through your head. Your brother admired his work to the point where he had once asked Brother Salt for ideas on how to 'interrogate’ the fey, something Brother Salt had gladly shown him.  
You thought about Squirrel who was now being held in Brother Salt’s 'kitchens’. He was a brave little fighter but he must be very scared now. Your first route of thought had been to try and bargain for the boy’s life with the information you had, but that would mean you would betray the fey you had helped. It would mean more deaths. You were not just sacrificing yourself but the boy as well. And nothing you said would chance that, Father Carden would let you spill your secrets and then kill you and the boy anyway.  
You felt powerless the second you saw them drag the boy away. You had felt some hope when the Monk actually tried to publicly defy Father Carden’s order, only to watch how he was hit back into submission by him.  
The situation was hopeless, not even the Green Knight could help you as they had captured him as well. Was he even still alive ? You were left to accept that your fate and that of the boy was sealed. You heard footsteps approach and seconds later a paladin stepped inside. His eyes were sewn shut, something your brother had mentioned about Brother Salt. He stood in front of you now.

“Well, well. Who do we have here ?” He grabbed hold of your face and roughly moved his hand over your features “Ah.. a shame. You won’t be pretty much longer I’m afraid.”  
You swallowed hard at his words, his hands still holding on to the sides of your face.  
“Unless you want to share your secrets with us now ?”  
You knew what that meant, if you told him what Father Carden wished to know you would still be killed. And those fey you have helped as well, nothing you said would change the fact that they were going to kill you and the boy. You knew bargaining for the boy’s life would lead to nothing, Father Carden wanted all the fey dead. He would make no exception for the boy even if you promised your coőperation  
Your expression hardened and you bit the words at him “My secrets are mine to keep.”  
He let out an aggravated breath and let go off your face. He stepped away and lifted one of the tools on the table nearby in the air, showing it to you “Then you will soon speak to the angels.”  
You tried to breath normally but you knew those tools would be used to torture you soon. He held it against the flame of a burning candle before holding it close to your face. You could feel the heat radiating from it against your cheek.

“I wonder how many of them you will meet before you will sing to them.” He put the tool back down “First I must go and teach that spawn of evil some manners. Perhaps you will talk once you have heard him scream…“ 

You knew he was talking about Squirrel. "NO! NO, WAIT !” You screamed but he ignored you as he walked out of the tent. You struggled again against the ropes to no avail. You wished he had would have tortured you first.

OoooooooooOOOooOoooOooOooOOooooOOoooo

The Monk stood outside Brother Salt’s kitchens. He had hoped Brother Salt would have left the tent at some point but he had no such luck. He could hear the boy curse his lungs out not holding anything back. Surely the boy must be afraid now ? Yet, there was still that fire inside of the boy that he had seen when he first met the boy. Others would cower in fear but the boy seemed to be fueled by it.

“Kill me, fine. But you’ll still be you forever. That’s a worse hell than anything I can think of.” He heard the boy speak viciously. Reminding the Monk of how the boy had said similar things to him the entire time he had dragged you two through the forest that day. He still wondered how the boy didn’t go out of breath at some point. In truth, it was impressive thinking back to it. He was still debating his next course of action when he heard Brother Salt threaten the boy.

“The tongue first, I think.” Brother Salt was losing his patience.

One would expect that the threat of his tongue getting removed would silence the boy, but no. It was what set him off.

“Go on. Take it. I’ll still keep talking. I’ll be in your nightmares talking, telling you how ugly you are ! When you try and wake up, your eyes won’t open 'cause you sewed them up like a bloody idiot!” The boy shouted loudly.

The Monk knew that there was no time left to waste and he walked inside of the tent. The boy’s hands were tied to the chair, even though the boy did not sound afraid he could see how quick the boy was breathing. His eyes stared up at him widely, housing both fear and rage. Something the Monk had seen in his own eyes when he was the boy’s age.

“Come to watch, my weeping brother ?” Brother Salt asked him, his voice dripping with enthusiasm to start his horrific work.

Hearing Brother Salt asking him that was what pushed him over the edge. In one quick move he had slit Brother Salt’s throat. He started to cut the boy loose even before the body hit the ground. He pulled the suprised boy out of the chair and with him out of the tent.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You await the torture soon to come. But when the Monk enters the tent, blood still dripping from his sword, you realise fate has taken another course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: violence and death.

You were half dozing off to sleep from exhaustion after all these stressfull days when you heard the nets at the entrance of the tent move. Your eyes snapped open and your mouth fell agape in suprise.

“Squirrel ?!” Were you dreaming or was the boy truly standing a few feet away from you now ? The boy rushed over to you and started to try and free you from the ropes. 

“What- how did you escape ??” You feared that a paladin would soon enter the tent and would catch the boy trying to help you “Squirrel, you have to run ! Go before they see you !”

Then the nets rustled again and your eyes went wide. The Monk stepped inside, blood still dripping from his sword. Was he here to capture the boy again ? The boy paid no attention to him and continued his attempts to free you. The Monk’s attention was not on the boy, it was on you. A look in his eyes that you had not seen before. You gripped the arms of the chair, then he took three quick long strides, and cut the ropes that bound you to the chair. The Monk’s hands were shaking, and you understood what was going on. He was saving you and the boy. You didn’t move, only stared up at him stunned. You couldn’t believe what was happening, you understood why he would save the boy, he didn’t harm the children. But why would he help you ? The Monk noticed your hesitation but there was no time to explain why he had freed you as well. He knew it would not be long before they found they fey boy missing and Brother Salt’s dead body. He took your arm and pulled you up from the chair. “What… why are you helping me ?” You looked at him utterly confused.

He removed the last bits of ropes from your wrists, the Monk was incredibly stressed by the situation “You will take the boy with you and leave this place.”

You were speechless and he finally looked you in the eyes at your persistant silence.

He squeezed your arm to pull you from your shocked state, he needed to be sure you were listening to him “You will take the boy away from here. Do you understand, y/n ?”

You finally nodded, seemingly snapping out of it “I will. I will take the boy away from here.”

Then he grabbed hold of the boy, pulling him along, making sure he didn’t try to wander of in the camp.

“Where are we going ?” Your voice was a mere whisper and filled with anxiety.  
“To the horses.” The Monk sounded as tense as you were.  
Was he really helping you ? Father Carden would see this as betrayal coming from him.  
“What about you ? I don’t believe Father Carden will be happy about this.”

He ignored your question.

You suddenly stopped when you remembered that Gawain was held captive as well. “We have to help the Green Knight !” You said to the Monk in a hushed voice.

The Monk grabbed your arm and pulled you along “He’s not here anymore. They took him to Uther’s camp.” 

After a few steps he let go off your arm and gestured for you to be quiet.

The Monk constantly looked around the camp as he dragged the boy behind him. He looked so on edge that if this had not been a dangerous situation you wouldn’t have been able to resist letting out a scream just to watch his reaction.  
You banished the awful idea quickly from your mind. He had not planned this, that much was clear.  
You couldn’t see it clearly in the dark but you could have sworn one or two paladins had looked in your direction. Did they not care? Or were they not alarmed because the Monk was present and they thought he was following an order ?  
You could see the horses from afar and the Monk picked up his pace. He almost literally dragged poor Squirrel behind him at this point, not letting go off the boy even for one second. You kept an eye out in case someone would try to attack from behind you.  
Then suddenly the Monk came to a stop, halting the boy and you from moving as well.  
One quick look and you recognised Abbot Wicklow standing closeby with his Trinity Guards.  
The Monk intended to let the boy run free but Abbot Wicklow must have sensed it.  
“I wouldn’t.” The threat in those few words hanged in the air.  
“Does he remind you of someone ? This fey orphan ?” Wicklow made it sound like an insult. A slur.  
Something you and the Monk both took note of. Was Wicklow hinting to the Monk that he knew what he was ?  
“The girl must be important… perhaps she keeps more secrets then -”  
The Monk did not let him finish that sentence “You don’t need them.”  
He discreetly pushed the boy behind him, towards you. He stood in such a way that he formed a barrier between Wicklow and you. You held Squirrel close and tried to shield him from their sights. The fact that fear was audible in the Monk’s voice worried you greatly.  
“Why ?” Wicklow asked demeaningly “Can’t he smell out his own kind like some kind of animal ? Or is that just your species ?”  
The venom was dripping from his words and it was obvious that he knew the Monk was fey. He was insulting him directly. Him and the boy.  
You hated Father Carden, but after hearing Wicklow talk for maybe only a minute you already wanted to strangle him.  
It must have been a record to hate someone this fast.  
The Monk knew this was the end of the line. His suspicion was confirmed, Abbot Wicklow knew his secret.  
You were painfully aware that you were outnumbered. The Trinity Guards were brutally skilled fighters, and the Monk was no match for them.  
He was silent and you believed he was going to hand you and the boy over to them. What else was he going to do ? He must have realised that fighting them would mean his end. Now he could exchange you and the boy to keep his life.  
If Wicklow had indeed known all this time then it meant he considered the Monk useful.  
The Monk turned to look at you and you saw the same look in his eyes you had only seen once before in the forest. Fear. “Take the boy. Find cover.” He ordered and pushed you and the boy away from him.

Your eyes went wide as you held onto the boy, what was he going to do ?! Wicklow watched curiously at the display.

The Monk looked you in the eyes, he spoke again, his tone more firm “Go.”

You pulled the boy with you as you found cover behind some barrels closeby, hiding behind them.

“You do have a reputation, but this is the Trinity Guard. You know their skill.” Abbot Wicklow threatened the Monk.

You kept the boy close to you, making sure he wouldn’t suddenly run off. The Monk pulled out his swords in response to Wicklow’s threat, you couldn’t believe he was actually going to fight them. The famous fey killer had decided to save you, the Fey Guardian, and the fey boy.

Wicklow did not appreciate the Monk’s silent but crystal clear response “So be it.” Wicklow gestured to the Trinity Guards behind him, beckoning for them to deal with the Monk.

The Monk did not wait to attack, for one moment it looked as if he danced through the air, by the time his feet hit the ground he had taken out two of the Trinity Guards already. Even though the sight of all the blood was horrific, there was elegance to the way he fought. You had never seen anything like it. He took out the others quickly and skillfully, blocking them every time they tried to strike. Neither you, Squirrel or Wicklow had expected that to happen. Wicklow was starting to look alarmed, the Monk looked at him.

Daring him.

Challenging him.

Wicklow swallowed thickly before nodding to the remaining members of the Trinity Guard. They approached the Monk and wasted no time as they attacked him instantly. They seemed to work together as they used flails to disarm the Monk and kept their distance until they had done that. The moment they had succesfully disarmed him, they brutally attacked him. It was a cowardly way of fighting, six against one unarmed man. 

You could have run away with the boy. You should have ran and tried to reach the horses. But the second the Monk let out a pained yell, you froze.  
The boy had a similar response as you tried to pull him along but he refused to budge.  
After recieving many brutal blows from the flails the Monk landed on his knees. He took another hit across the face before he took a hit to the chin that send blood flying from his mouth as his head flew back from the impact.  
They were attacking him, killing him, because he was trying to save the both of you.  
Realisation struck you that you were not willing to just watch as he gets brutally murdered for doing the right thing.  
He was on hands and knees, gasping heavily for air. How he was even still alive after that, you had no idea.  
Your eyes scanned the ground in the dark, spotting swords nearby that the Trinity Guards had dropped as they fought. Your eyes went to the boy, knowing that if you were do to this you were not sure you could protect him. Squirrel looked at you determined, he knew what you were considering. You two shared a nod in understanding.  
This was it. You always wanted to die fighting, but never thought it would be against the Trinity Guards. You had no experience with the sword at all but perhaps you could distract them long enough for the Monk to get up and leave with the boy. You would die protecting the fey, as you had always believed. They pulled the Monk to his knees and removed his hood, ready to deliver the final blow with the heavy flail. It seemed that the Monk had given up.

Squirrel stood up and threw a rock he had found on the ground nearby at the Trinity Guard ready to strike the Monk. It pulled all of their attention away from the Monk right away and you and the boy grabbed the swords from the ground. You reached out to pull Squirrell behind you but the boy wasn’t having any of that.

“HEY !” You called out loudly, feeling the adrenaline rush through your veins.

“Who’s first !” Squirrel challenged them.

Their attention was on you and Squirrel now, you were ready to attack anyone that came closer. And ready and willing to attack those who tried to harm the Monk. They turned in your direction and the moment they did the Monk grabbed his fallen sword and rose from the ground. What followed was the sound of steel cutting through air and flesh. The Trinity Guards closest to you and the boy where cut down by the Monk in one graceful movement. You did not expect the Monk to get up again after that brutal attack. The Monk fought more brutal then before, blood of the Trinity Guards flowed with every move he made. In one swift movement he had blocked an attack and stabbed them. He cut through them almost impossibly fast. The first wave he had killed almost cleanly, almost polite. But now one of the last Trinity Guards tried to get up again and he stabbed his sword through their torso, ankering them to the ground. Finally he snapped another’s neck before picking up his sword and aiming it at Wicklow, who was looking very pale, challenging him to fight him. Wicklow turned and ran away from the scene.

“Coward…” You breathed out as you watched Wicklow run for the hills.

The Monk sank to his knees again from pure exhaustion and agony. How he was able to get up again to slay the remaining Trinity Guards is a miracle in itself. Squirrel ran to him to help, the boy ran much faster then you could. He tried to help the Monk to his feet which proved difficult considering how wounded he appeared to be. Rain was starting to fall and the ground would soon turn slippery. You rushed over to help them.  
Squirrel pulled at his arm “Come on ! Get up ! We have to go!”  
The Monk could barely acknowledge him in his dazed state. He tried to get up but struggled every time.  
You carefully grabbed his arm and moved it around your shoulders so you could support him as he got off the ground.  
“Come on, be brave just a little longer. We are getting out of here even if I have to drag you.” And it seemed that would be exactly what you would have to do if he couldn’t walk.  
Finally he used you and the boy to support him and you helped him towards the horses.  
The paladins made no attempt to stop you, but then again, who would be insane enough to try after seeing what the Monk had done to the Trinity Guards when they had tried to stop him?  
You recognised his horse from the times he had visited Mirstone with Father Carden. He had catched some of his breath, you and Squirrel helped him on the horse. It was your intention to take the boy with you on another horse, but the Monk held out his hand and helped the boy on his horse as well.  
He hesitated for just one second before reaching out a hand to you as well.  
You took a step back and shook your head, declining the invitation “I’ll steal one for myself.” It seemed unwise to share a horse, what if he turned against you again ? Living with your brother had taught you that somebody could appear nice and then suddenly turn on you again. You would need a means of escape in that scenario.  
The Monk nodded in understanding.  
You hurried to another horse and mounted it before joining their side.  
You rode alongside of them as the Monk guided you out and away from the camp.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Monk reveals his name to you and the boy. Despite the lack of trust you have towards him, you know you cannot just abandon him in his wounded state after what he did for you and the boy.

You had rode next to them in silence, the last thing you wanted was to draw the attention from other enemies. And you actually didn’t know what to say to the Monk, you had never expected this to happen. The sun had risen when the Monk broke the silence that hanged between the three of you.  
“What was your name, boy ?”  
“Squirrel.” The boy replied somewhat annoyed by the question.  
The Monk remembered Wicklow’s words, how he had thought of him as an animal instead of a person. This could not be the boy’s really name, he had noted the hint of defiance and avoidance in the boy’s voice at the question.  
“A squirrel is an animal. What name were you given ?” The Monk insisted.  
“I don’t like that name.” An honest reply from the boy.  
The Monk sincerely wished to know the name of the brave boy that had risked his life to help him.  
“It’s still your name.” He prodded for the answer again.  
You watched with interest as the Monk tried to convince the boy to tell him his real name, something Squirrel had not even told you.  
“Fine.” The boy relented at the Monk’s unyielding inquiry “It’s Percival.”  
The Monk was pleased with the small victory and repeated the name “Percival.”

“I like it.” You quickly reassured the boy, but you were left to wonder why the boy didn’t like his real name.

Then the boy asked the question not even you had ever dared or thought to ask the Monk “Do you have a real name ?”

Needless to say that it drew your attention. The Monk looked over at you for a moment before putting his attention on the boy again.

“Lancelot.” He sounded like it was something he had wished to say “A long time ago, my name was Lancelot.”

The boy raised a brow and looked at the Monk muttering “That’s worse then mine…”

You snorted trying to stop yourself from laughing at hearing the boy’s comment.

“Still better then ‘Fey Guardian’.” The Monk looked over at you, having heard you trying to muffle your laughter.

You rolled your eyes “That must have been some blows to the head if you think that, Monk.”

The moment you called him 'Monk’ again he let out a deep sigh, he did not expect you to become friendly after everything that happened but it showed him that you still did not trust him. To you he was still the Weeping Monk who had made your life miserable.

Percival’s eyes darted between Lancelot and you, clearly not aware that you had met each other far more then that time he had captured you both in the forest. The boy’s brows drew together and you just shrugged.

Silence fell once more between the three of you.

After an hour or so Lancelot felt his eyes grow heavy, the pull to unconciousness grew stronger and he knew he had to stop before he would fall off the horse and risk pulling the boy with him to the ground.  
“We’ll stop here for a moment.” He spoke up, he hoped that walking around would wake him up a bit more.  
You looked over at him, noticing how pale he was looking now “Alright…”

Quickly you dismounted your horse and walked over to his, there was a silent understanding between you and him when you helped the boy down from the horse, having guessed that it would prove difficult for the Monk to help the boy now.

The moment the boy was safely on the ground he dismounted Goliath as well. He groaned at the pain he felt shooting down his back. He had managed to block a lot of the blows from the flails but some had landed on him anyway. The fresh lashing wounds mixed with the bruises from the blows caused a burning pain spreading all over his back. And the blows to his head had given him a terrible headache. He leaned against a tree as he tied Goliath’s reins to a branch, and then he shut his eyes for a moment as a stinging pain went through his head that made him awfully vertiginous.

You and the boy walked around a little, stretching your sleeping legs from riding so long. But you had noticed that the Monk looked anything but fine. He looked like a ghost, a very bloody ghost.  
You were wary of him, he did threaten to kill you not long ago. And truthfully, seeing him kill those Trinity Guards on his own did not calm your nerves. It was a reminder how easy it would be for him to kill you if he changed his mind.  
Still, you refused to show that you were in fact afraid of him. You had always kept that hidden, not wanting to show him or the paladins fear. Not wanting to give them the satisfaction of it.  
You took a deep breath and approached him, the closer you got the more you realised just how bad he looked. He had blocked many blows and as a result blood was staining the fabric on his arms.  
The blows he took to the head was what worried you the most. The left side of his head was covered in dried blood.

The thumping pain from his head was why he had not noticed that you were standing rather close to him now. You reached a hand to his face and he flinched away before you could touch his face, not expecting the movement.

“Sorry… I just…” You stammered awkwardly “You’re still bleeding there. Let me see if I can help.”

You never thought you would see this man flinch.  
Little did you realise that he would sooner expect to be slapped again then his health to be the subject of your concern.

He looked at you, trying to read your expression “I’m fine.”  
Your brows shot up at his blatant lie, and you collected your courage and reached out for his head again. This time he didn’t flinch, he just tried to stay out of your reach but failed.  
“You’re burning up…” You concluded after feeling the heat radiating off of his forehead for a second.  
“I’m fine.” He claimed stubbornly, trying to understand why you would even care if he wasn’t.

You let out a scoff this time, growing impatient “Your definition of being fine could be anything from 'I just stubbed my toe’ to 'I’ve just lost an arm’. Let me take a look at that gash on your head !“

The moment you reached for his head again he grabbed hold of your wrist, stopping you. You thought he would be annoyed at your attempts but the look in his eyes told a different story. He seemed conflicted, it appeared that he didn’t trust you either, but it was as if he wanted to trust you. And you weren’t aware that your eyes betrayed that you were dealing with the same conflict.

Finally he let go of your wrist, before calmly replying “I will be fine, y/n.”.

Your eyes went to his arm, the fabric was stained with fresh blood, the gash there was bleeding profusely. “I wouldn’t be so sure of that, Monk. You might actually lose an arm by the looks of that.” The concern was audible in your voice.

Lancelot looked at his arm as well now, it did not look good. He was losing blood too fast “I just need to bind the wound…”

He took one step away from the tree to look for something to bind his arm with when the world around him started to spin. He quickly supported himself against the tree, not caring that he had also touched a leaf in the process.

“Monk ?” You grabbed hold of his arm, seeing how he was imbalanced and had gotten even paler.

He could no longer reply, everything sounded so far away. He slumped against the tree and the last thing he heard before everything went dark was your alarmed voice.

OoooOOOoooOOOoOOoOOOooOooOO

You had tried to wake him up by using the water in the flask that you had found in the horse’s satchel to no avail. It was midday now and you were on your knees next to the unconcious Monk.

He looked far less intimidating now, you never had a chance to study his face before. At least not without it being awkward to do so. His features were almost angelic to you, even with the bruises. The boy had continued to splash water in the Monk’s face, even tried to slap him out of it which you had prevented. You had taken off your scarf and used it to bind the wound on his arm, it seemed that it had stopped the bleeding for the moment.

“Is he going to die ?” The boy looked at you, eyes filled with sorrow.

You swallowed thickly, it was not looking good for the Monk. He was running a fever, you guessed it was from the infected gash on his arm. Or from one of the many other wounds he undoubtly had that you couldn’t see without undressing him, which seemed like a terrible idea to you even though he was unconcious. It terrified you.

“No, but if we don’t help him soon, he will succumb to the fever.” You replied honestly while taking a look at the wound on the side of the Monk’s head. The bleeding there had stopped and after washing some of the dried blood away with the water you concluded that it looked worse then it actually was, making you sigh in relief.

“How ? Who would help him ? He’s the Weeping Monk.” The boy brought up an important question.

You owed your life to him and now this man was bleeding to death. You had to have some faith that maybe there was more good in him then he had already shown. Your concious gnawed at you, you knew you had to help him to repay him. You did not like to feel like you owed someone something. The only thing you could think of to help him was taking him to Mirstone and treat him with the medicine the fey had once given you that you kept hidden in your home.

“I will. We need to get him back to my village.” You answered resolutely.

Then the Monk stirred as he let out a deep pained groan, his eyes opened but shut again immediately as they were met with the bright sunlight.  
You sighed in relief, it would be far easier to get to Mirstone if he was concious “How are you ? Let me guess, you’re fine ?”  
His voice was hoarse and he coughed as he spoke “How long was I unconcious ?”

After taking a deep breath you started “A couple of hours. We’ve been trying to wake you up, in case you’re wondering why you’re wet. I took the liberty to bind that gash on your arm, but it will need to be sewn shut and soon for that matter.”

He carefully opened his eyes again, turning his head so the sun didn’t blind him “You could have left me here to die.“  
You handed him the flask of water and he gratefully took it and gulped some down. His throat felt better already.  
"Yes. I could have.” You were silent for a second “We need to get you back to Mirstone, I can sew those wounds shut before you bleed to death.”

“Mirstone ? Your village ? No, pardon me, the Huntsman’s village ?” The Monk did not like that idea.

You understood his reluctance, but it was the only option. You knew of no other villages nearby and doubted they would be very helpful if there were “The fever alone will kill you, Monk. Besides, my brother will not have returned yet.”

“How can you be sure ?” He looked at you with strange interest.

You smirked at him “I made some adjustments to the maps he took with him. He will be gone for another day.”

The Monk narrowed his eyes at you, now openly admitting just how you had sabotaged the Huntsman.

Finally he gave in, knowing that you were right. He would die either from bloodloss or the fever. He looked up at the sky “It’s midday, if we leave now, we should reach Mirstone in the night.”

“And with some luck no one will have heard about what happened to the Trinity Guards yet. They won’t bat an eye to see you there. And if anyone asks why the paladins let me go I’ll just say that it was an act of…” You gestured to him.

“Clemency.” He would have rolled his eyes if his head wasn’t killing him.

“Exactly. Now, let’s see if you can actually walk or not…” You stood up from the ground and held out your hand.

He sighed once deeply before taking your hand with his, it took some effort from you to get him on his feet. Once standing he steadied himself against the tree.  
"What’s that on your neck ?” Percival suddenly asked and you send him an inquisitive look.  
The Monk’s eyes went to your neck at the boy’s question and then you remembered.  
You had forgotten why you had been wearing the scarf in the first place, your hands went to your neck. You had taken it off to bind the Monk’s wound, having forgotten about the bruises.  
You avoided their eyes “Bruises.. I guess the paladins don’t like it when you elbow them in the teeth.”  
The Monk knew you were lying, the bruises did not look recent enough to have been obtained at the paladin camp. He had seen similar ones on your arm once but decided not to mention it. There was a reason why you weren’t telling the truth.

“Those paladin scum.” The boy cussed, believing the lie.

You had to change the subject “Do you think you can ride your horse without falling off of it ?”

“Yes.” He was but all too aware that you were trying to change the topic.

“Good.” You quickly turned on your heels and headed to the horses.

He turned his attention to the boy “You should ride with her. Just in case.”  
The boy looked at him with narrow eyes “Fine…You’re not just going to ride off are you ?”

The question suprised him, he was until now unaware that the boy felt some form of attachment to him “No. No, I am not.”

Percival stared at him a little longer before he seemed satisfied with the answer, then he and the boy headed to the horses as well.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You sneak the Monk and Percival into Mirstone. Helping the Monk proves difficult as his stubborness matches your own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Trauma, mentions of selfharm, mentions of past abusive violence.

Night had already fallen when you arrived at Mirstone, both of you had agreed that it would be wise to leave the horses in a safe place nearby just in case. You knew you would have to sneak them into the village, preferably without being spotted, you did have a fey boy with you. Luckily you had lived here long and guided the Monk and Percival past the tents and homes with ease.  
The Monk suddenly stopped you in your tracks when he spotted one of your brother’s men “Over there.”  
You looked at where he was pointing at. Your eyes narrowed when you saw him.  
Ah. Brogan.  
“We will have to wait until he leaves.” The Monk let out a pained groan, starting to regret coming here at all.  
Brogan was drinking from his flask, filled with ale no doubt. As the Monk lowered to his knees to rest for a moment you took his moment of faltered alertness to move away from him and the boy. Percival noticed, you brought a finger to your lips gesturing for him to remain silent. He gave a short nod but watched with wary eyes as you picked up a shovel that was leaning against a tent.  
You sneaked up to Brogan who had his back turned to you, only then did the Monk become aware of your absence. He immediately looked up only to see you slam the metal of the shovel against the back of Brogan’s head. Brogan hit the ground as he fell unconcious. You grabbed that stupid ragged hat from his head and shoved it in his mouth before removing his belt and using it to tie his hands behind his back.  
It gave you a sick sense of gratification “I should have done that much earlier…”  
You beckoned for Percival and the Monk to come your way. The latter looked impressed but not happy with your action.  
You supported him again as you helped him to your home.  
“That was reckless.” He actually scolded you.  
“Says the man that tried to free a woman and boy, and ended up having to fight the Trinity Guards.” You shot back.  
“I won…” He quietly protested and actually smirked at the memory.  
“Barely.” You quipped nodding to him, to the state he was in.  
He rolled his eyes at your comment, knowing it was true. He wouldn’t have survived. He didn’t plan to survive the fight. He had given you an oppurtunity to run away with the boy. Never had he expected that you would risk your lives to help him. And yet, here you were, dragging him to your home. The last time he was there he had held his sword to your throat and now you were helping him.  
With some difficulty you were able to open the door, it’s hinges were terribly rusty. It creaked open and you helped him inside, it would be a stupid thing to help him downstairs. The door let into the kitchen immediately, if someone were to look inside through the windows they would discover you instantly.

“We should go to my bedchamber. They could see us through the windows down here.” You looked at the Monk apologetic.

He moved away from you and leaned against the wall, clearly not looking forward to having to climb a set of stairs.

“Percival, you go first. Don’t want you to be behind us in case he falls down. Okay ?” There was a possibility it would happen.

“Alright, fine. Do I help ?” The boy looked up at you and the Monk.

You shook your head “No, thank you. This could get dangerous.”

The boy nodded in understanding and hurried up the stairs, looking down at you now “Well, come on then !”

You nodded to the Monk, not able to suppress the chuckle coming from you “You heard him. Do you need my help ?”

The Monk seemed to consider your offer, alerting you that he was indeed not fit to climb the stairs on his own in his state. You didn’t wait for his answer and moved his arm over your shoulder and wrapped your arm around his back. He was taken aback by your action but let you help him up the stairs this way. It took a while but you managed to get him upstairs without tumbling down the steps. He leaned against the doorway breathing heavily, as he regained his composure. Now came the awkward part, for you to be able to help him and stitch up his wounds, you would have to see them. And by the uncomfortable silence in the room you knew the Monk was aware of it.

“It is hard to treat wounds you can’t see…” You broke the silence and tried to sound casual.

The Monk gave a nod, not looking at you. You looked at the boy who quirked a brow and shrugged. You cleared your throat and awkwardly held out a hand towards the Monk. The situation was uncomfortable for both of you but this was not speeding things up at all. His eyes focused on you now, he send you an inquiring look. You straightened your back, not wanting to show how nervous you were “Shall I take your cloak ?”

Being straightforward proved fruitful as he finally started to take off his cloak, he handed it to you and you put it aside while he started to peel off the other layers that covered his torso.

You averted your eyes and looked to the boy instead “Are you hungry ?”

His eyes widened and he nodded, you quickly went downstairs to grab some bread and leftovers you could find before going back to your room. You gave the food to the boy who uttered a ‘thank you’ as he shoved some bread in his mouth. You had also brought something to eat for the Monk, and put it aside. You finally looked at the Monk and felt your breath hitch in your throat. Sure, you had seen a man’s torso before but none of the people in your village looked like this. The Monk was far more muscular then you could have guessed. Of course he would be, with all that fighting he did. You hated to admit that even with the dark bruises and the bleeding wounds he looked good. If he had been anyone else you would have complimented him, but this was the person who had threatened your life not long ago in the room downstairs. The Monk had not noticed you staring at him, he was busy examining the wounds on his abdomen. When he turned a little to examine one on the side of his body right below his rib cage your gaze fell on his back and you swallowed back a gasp. Scars were scattered all over his back, recent wounds were mixed between them. Your brother often 'joked’ how the Red Paladins were Father Carden’s whipped hounds. That was his way of saying some of them engaged in self-flagellation to cleanse themselves. The amount of scars shocked you, you doubted the other paladins would have this many of them. Deep down you knew this was because the Monk felt he needed to cleanse himself over something he could not control, his fey heritage.

Most were healed but there were recent ones that looked no longer then a day old. Had he done this to himself the day he saved you and the boy ? Had he felt so much inner turmoil that he felt he needed to suffer for it ?  
He turned to look at you, having picked up on the uncomfortable silence. You averted your eyes, trying not to show that you had been staring but he had caught you doing it.  
“I can see if I have something for those…” You quietly spoke and gestured to his back.  
The Monk quietly shook his head even though the wounds on his back were burning “There is not enough time. It will be dawn soon.”

He went to sit down on the edge of your bed.  
You gave a nod in understanding, you knew it would be dawn soon but something told you that that wasn’t the real reason why he had refused your help.  
You grabbed the bowl of water you had on the table next to your bed and wetted the piece of cloth, preparing to clean the wounds so you could treat them.

“How did you get those ?” The boy suddenly asked and you saw the Monk’s expression change. He swallowed thickly not acknowledging the question. How could he even start to explain it to the boy ?

You picked up on his reluctance to answer and turned to the boy “Percival, will you help me ?” He quickly nodded and you started to give him instructions. “Thank you, listen well. Go downstairs, crawl under the table. One of the floorboards is loose, under there you will find a small chest with some bottles with fey medicine and herbs. Will you bring me that chest, please ?” The boy had left the room to fetch the items without replying. 

“He’s eager to help…” You let out a chuckle unaware the Monk was staring at you.

When you looked at him, you shrugged your shoulders “What ?”

He scoffed and shook his head, not believing how reckless you had been “You keep fey items in your home ? If they had known they would have killed you just for that.”

You rinsed the extra water out of the cloth and he held his hand out to take the cloth from you, he wasn’t looking at you, his attention was on one of the wounds on his torso now.

“That’s why they were hidden.” You casually said before reaching out with your hand to his bare arm, close to the deep gash he had there. He had removed your scarf to examine it. You had just wanted to clean away the blood to look at the wound but he flinched when he felt the damp cloth touch his arm, never expecting you to take it upon yourself to help him like this.

“I…can do it.” So few words and yet he stumbled over them.

You raised a brow looking at him in doubt “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you already hit the ground not long ago and I almost had to carry you up those few steps. If you insist on doing this alone you will still be here when the sun rises.”

The Monk scoffed at your comment and shook his head muttering “…carry me..”

You ignored him and tried to touch his arm so you could help him.

He moved so he stayed out of your reach, some of the blood running down his arm landed on your sheets.

“Stop moving and stop bleeding !” You said in frustration.

It made him look at you, eyes slightly widened. It made you realise how strange that probably sounded to him. “You’re ruining my sheets, blood isn’t easy to wash out you know ?” You almost pouted at the red now staining your white sheets.

“I’m aware.” He stated the obvious as he looked at the sheets now.

Finally you sighed and spoke, your voice dripping with sarcasm “Would you be more at ease if you had your sword in your hands ? You weren’t this uncomfortable when you visited my home the last time.”

He stared at you for a moment and then he understood what you were talking about. The night he had warned you to stop warning the fey. He had felt strange when he had to hold you into place back then too, it had felt almost intimate then as well. But now you were trying to touch his bare skin and he didn’t know why it made him so nervous, as if it was almost sinful. Which was ridiculous because you were just trying to help. It was his upbringing that caused him to react like this, he knew it was.

“You were not trying to help me that night if I recall.” He deadpanned.

You frowned at that “You are more comfortable with me hitting you with a pan, then me helping you ?”

In truth, he was used to violence. He was not used to soft hands carefully touching him. So you were not far from the truth when you had asked that.

He answered with a hint of sarcasm “People don’t usually touch me to help me.”

“I wonder why.” You shot back.

He looked up at you at that, noting the smirk that disappeared a second later.

“I mean… you are not making it easy for me here…” You gestured to him, damp cloth still in your hands “Did you never see a healer ?”

He had, even though he always tried to avoid getting an injury bad enough that he would need a healer “I have.”

“Well, think of me as a healer then…it’s the same thing.” You tried your best to convince him.

He scoffed at that, knowing it was not the same at all. He never spoke to the healers, he didn’t know anything about them and none of them were women.

“It’s not the same.” He replied, sounding a bit shorter then he had intented.

You were getting frustrated, this was going nowhere “Why ? What’s the difference between me helping you or another stranger ?”

“You are.” The words spilled out of him and he wished he had kept his mouth shut.

You were silent now as you thought about that statement.

He really did not wish to elaborate further on that, what would he even say ? That you touching his skin made him feel…strange ? A foreign feeling, something he had not felt before. Something he could not place. Only that it did not feel bad. That was perhaps the problem, it felt pleasant. It was something he believed he shouldn’t feel.

Then you came to your own conclusion “You don’t trust me to help you…”

He looked up at you right away, one thing he did know for certain was that he trusted you. Sure, you had lied to him about having stopped with warning the fey, but otherwise you had always been honest. Blatantly and recklessly honest sometimes. And you could have left him to die alone in the forest, instead you had brought him into your home to help him.

“I trust you.” It was a statement that he needed you to hear.

You were not expecting to hear that coming from the Monk.

You were a bit taken aback “If you do, then please let me help you before you bleed to death on my bed.”

He avoided looking at you, the conflict inside of him was clawing at him.

You took his silence as refusal “An infection could kill you ! Don’t you care if you live or die ?!“  
"Not really. No.” The truth came from his mouth faster then he could prevent it.  
“I care ! So stop moving and let me help you !” You were exasperated at this point. It appears that the more frustrated you became, the more stubborn he got so you tried a different approach.

You let out a deep sigh “Please, let me help you… Lancelot.” It was strange saying his name out loud for the first time.

And unbeknownst to you, hearing you call him by his actual name for the first time was why he finally gave in. He had only ever heard you call him 'Monk’ until now. Finally he caved in, he looked at you and slowly nodded.

You cautiously took his arm in your hand and started to clean away the blood. You couldn’t help but feel nervous, you couldn’t push the thought away that you were washing blood off of someone who could easily kill you if he wanted to.

You tried to push the thought away, so far he had not threatened you anymore. You tried to be gentle but time was of the essence, this had to be finished before dawn. And in your haste you accidentally rubbed against the wound too roughly. He actually let out a short pained yell and you jumped and flinched as if he had hit you even though he had not laid a hand on you. You had sewn up your brother before, before you knew how he got his wounds. After you found out the truth about the origin of his wounds you had sewed him up one last time and did such a terrible job that he no longer demanded you to do so. But you were so used to your brother hitting you when you accidentally hurt him while sewing him up that it caused you to panic now. And you did what you had always done in that situation, you apologized.

“I’m sorry..I…I didn’t mean to…” Your voice shook and your hands trembled.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You try to help Lancelot to the best of your abilities while Lancelot begins to figure out the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Trauma, mentions of past abusive violence.

His attention was on you right away, he knew it was an accident. You had been very gentle up until then, he would have understood if you did this on purpose after everything that had happened between you. Lancelot had seen you flinch, did you truly think he would hurt you for that ? 

"You fear me..." It sounded more like a question coming from him.

You realised he had seen you flinch away from him.  
"No." It was a lie, who wouldn't be uneasy around the person who had threatened their life ?  
"You hate me then." He concluded by your answer.  
"I hate what you did. I hate the Red Paladins..." You admitted and watched as he cast his eyes to the ground.  
Of course you did, he would never expect you to suddenly like him.  
"But I can't bring myself to hate you." You quietly confessed. You had seen yourself in him, what you could have been had your sister not been present when you were young. Lancelot was a victim in this as well, having been taken from his family to be turned into Father Carden's weapon.  
"I don't really know you. Until today I did not even know your name." You explained yourself.  
"You... don't hate me ?" Lancelot sounded suprised.  
"I haven't made up my mind yet." You said sarcasticly.  
He looked at you now, trying to figure out if that was an honest answer or a joke.  
A shrug of your shoulders told him it could easily be both. The boy returned with the small chest in his hands “Found it !”

“Thank you !” You smiled widely at the boy as he handed you the chest. You put it in your lap, opening it and taking what you would need from it.

“It smells of fey. It's a miracle I did not smell it when I was here last time.” Lancelot frowned, not realising he just told you something about himself that way.

Your eyes snapped up at him and then he realised what he had done “You... sorry did you just.. you can smell fey ?” He looked almost apologetic, but mostly caught.

“Why were you in her home last time ?” The boy interupted and Lancelot would have been grateful for the change of topic if only it would have been any another topic.

“Oh, yeah. Why were you here again last time, Lancelot ?” You asked with the most perfect innocent sounding voice as you threaded the needle you would be using to stitch him up.

He was almost impressed by your perfectly practised innocent voice. He knew you would not make it easy on him, he doubted you ever would. The corner of his mouth turned up as he narrowed his eyes at you. “To talk to her.” He decided to leave out the part where he had pressed his sword against your throat.

You were very aware that he was leaving some information out of that and you made a humming sound while going through some of the vials you had picked out with fey medicine. Searching for something against the fever and pain.

“Why would she talk to you ?” The boy sounded almost appalled and Lancelot looked at the boy in return.

At that you couldn't suppress the laugh that fell from your lips. The boy truly had no filter. Lancelot's eyes went back to you at the sound, he had never heard you genuinely laugh like this before. He caught himself liking the sound even if it was because of a rude comment aimed at him “If it is any consolation, she did not listen to me.” He remembered but all to well how you had waved away all his warnings.

Your eyes went to his and you couldn't help but think that he found that amusing now. You rolled your eyes and held out one of the vials to him “Here, drink this, it will help with the pain.” 

He didn't take it from you, and regarded the vial with suspicion. He had not used any fey medicine since he was very little "I can handle the pain." 

"Doesn't mean you should." You countered and tapped the vial against his arm until he took it from your hand out of frustration and drank some of it before putting it down.

You quickly held up another “For the fever. Drink it all.”

You had expected him to protest but he took the vial and downed it all in one go. You actually smiled, it was strange to see how he indeed seemed to trust you “Alright. Now I can stitch your wounds.” 

You turned towards the boy “Percival, could you cut some long pieces out of those sheets ? I will need them to bind the wound on his arm again. Use his sword.”

“You got angry at me for bleeding on them, and now you're telling the boy to cut them up ?” Lancelot asked in disbelief with a light scoff.

You shrugged your shoulders “Well, they are ruined now anyway. Or do you think I will still get the blood out of my white sheets ?”

Fine, you had a point there.

You stood up and reached for the other thread on the top of the shelf in your room. You knew you would need more then the amount you had in the small chest. Your shirt crept up a little and Lancelot's eyes were drawn to the exposed skin of your back. They lingered there before he came to his senses and averted them. He could feel his cheeks burn, luckily you had not caught him looking.

“What is that ?” Percival's alarmed voice drew everyone's attention.

“What's what ?” You asked confused and the boy rushed over to you.

He lifted the hem of your shirt just a little before you could stop him “On your back..”

You couldn't see what the boy was talking about, but then you remembered...

Lancelot was looking as well now too, his eyes landed on what the boy had spotted. A large bruise covered part of your back and went over towards your abdomen. It did not look recent, it must have looked even worse once if this was how it looked when it was healing.

You pried your shirt from the boy's hands. He looked at you with wide eyes filled with concern. 

“It's nothing, just fell off my horse a while ago. Don't worry about it.” You lied. The bruise had formed when your brother had stomped on your side with his boot a while ago when he had found out you had lied about something trivial.

Lancelot could sense you were lying, just as you were lying about the origin of the bruises in your neck “Does it hurt ?”

You noticed how his voice was laced with concern “No. Uhm... I should start stitching your wounds up. We have to be finished here before dawn. It will be harder to smuggle you out of here unnoticed in daylight.”  
The boy stepped away from you and went back to chewing his food, but the worried look remained on his face. Lancelot did not press on about the subject, but inside he felt a growing concern.  
You went to sit back down next to him, looking slightly apologetic “This will hurt...”

He tilted his head a little, a sign of acknowledgment. You kept your hands steady as you started with the gash on his arm.

It sure did hurt, but he had made a mental note not to let it show. The last thing he wanted to do was startle you while you had a needle in his arm. He glanced over at you, noticing how gentle you still tried to be. You weren't bad at this, on the contrary, your touch was featherlight compared to those of the healers he had encountered. You were too concentrated to notice him staring at you. He took the moment to study your face, a concentrated frown gracing your features. The light of the candles in the room reflected in your eyes, how fitting it was to see it, the fire that was always present in your eyes. He understood now why he had often seen the paladins staring at you when he and Father Carden came to your village. He understood because he couldn't help but stare as well now.

“What did they do with the Green Knight ?” Percival's question cut through the silence like a sword through flesh.

You looked up at Lancelot now and he was too late to avert his eyes, they locked on yours. The question hanged in the air and when you averted your eyes back to his arm he knew he would have to answer the boy.

"I saw you capture him. I followed you." Percival admitted.

Lancelot swallowed, not only had the boy seen him kill the fey in the forest, but he had also seen that he was the one that captured the Green Knight. And the boy was still willing to fight the Trinity Guards to save his life... 

"I tried to save the Green Knight. He said his legs didn't work..." The boy looked at the ground as he recalled the moment.

You swallowed hard, Gawain must have suffered greatly at the hands of Brother Salt.

"I didn't want to leave him... he told me to save myself. He made me a knight and then that ugly paladin found me." Percival looked at Lancelot now "The one you killed before you cut me loose from that chair."

Lancelot nodded, remembering how he cut Brother Salt's throat after he had asked him if he came to watch the boy be tortured. Before he had went to free the boy a paladin had informed him they had taken the Green Knight to Uther's camp. It had been his intention to free the Green Knight as well. He knew the Green Knight would not have survived the journey, Father Carden would never have allowed him to live. “They had taken him to Uther's camp. From what I've heard...” Lancelot couldn't speak the words “I am sorry, Percival.”

The boy swallowed the lump forming in his throat and looked at the plate of food in his lap. Lancelot wished he had never captured the Green Knight, but knew that without doing that he would not be here with the boy and you. You had tried to get through to him before and it was hearing what the Green Knight said that pushed him to do what HE believed was right. Lancelot was silent and filled with remorse. It made it even harder for him to accept your help now. Had he not finally accepted the truth, both of you would have been tortured and burned. And here you were, actually trying to help him after all that.

"He made me realise I didn't belong there. Told me all fey are brothers... Everything I've done to your..." He paused before continuing "… to our kind... all of it because Father had taught me I was demon born. That I was damned...maybe after all of this I truly am..."

Your words from the forest once again rang through his head about him damning his own soul instead of saving it. You had told him the truth that night and deep down he had always known.

You noticed how quiet he was after the boy had spoken. You didn't know that he was the one that had captured the Green Knight. But you could see that he regretted it. You caught yourself feeling sorry for him. A fey, who had been taken by the people who killed his own kind, to use him for the same reason. After a moment of thinking you spoke "There is a chance for redemption for everyone."

"Not for me." His voice almost a whisper.

You quirked a brow "Not with that attitude. Gawain... the Green Knight saw something in you. He saw that there was hope for you. Remember that. Honor that.".

"We didn't drag you all the way here to just give up !" The boy piped up.

You pointed to the boy "He's right, you know ? We wouldn't be here if we didn't have some faith in you."

Lancelot nodded in silence, thinking about what you had said. Silence fell between you as you proceeded to sew up his other wounds to the best of your abilities and wrapped those you could with the ripped sheets.

“Eat. Before you faint again.” You said after finishing your work.

Lancelot did as told, it was good advice “What will you do now that the Huntsman knows you betrayed him ? Will he send you away ?” He had not forgotten how the Huntsman had just given you up, he doubted you would be welcome in Mirstone now. Perhaps you would go to live with other family ?

You shrugged your shoulders, you really didn't want to think about your brother. You could feel the panic rise in your chest.

Lancelot picked up on your silence, he knew you were reluctant to speak of your brother so he tried a different approach “The Huntsman told me once that your parents died years ago. Do you have any other family ?”

That was a question you had not expected and your eyes fell on the necklace you had left on the small table beside your bed. Lancelot had seen how your expression changed after that question and followed your gaze, spotting the necklace with the flower shaped pendant cut from wood.

"I had an older sister. She was quite a fighter. She was terribly stubborn, no one could tell her what to do. It was maddening." You smiled a little at the memory.

"Sounds familiar." Lancelot stated as he looked at you.

You narrowed your eyes at him, knowing damn well he was talking about you.

You let it slide.

"She and Draegan never got along, and when he became the Huntsman she made it very clear that she would not stand for it. She was the one that taught me not to believe what they said about the fey being evil." You explained further.

Lancelot wondered what happened to her, had she just left the village ?

He listened with interest "You say 'had'...did you not get along either ? Did she leave the village ?"

You swallowed thickly "Magnolia was very protective of me. I looked up to her. Then one day she rode into the forest..."

He guessed the rest of the sentence and frowned "She never returned ?"

You nodded and looked down at your hands "I was around Percival's age then... I still went into the forest alone to find her. And I did."

He didn't have to ask to know your sister had not survived riding into the forest that day.

You clenched your jaw "She was stabbed only once, she must have bled out slowly. The people here believe she ran into some thieves in the forest and she had tried to fight them and lost."

The idea that your sister had bled out alone in the forest still haunted you. What if you had gone to find her sooner ? You could have held her hand, could have told her you loved her. And she could have told you what you already deep down believed had really happened.

Lancelot picked up on the doubt in your voice "Do you believe that is what happened ?"

You had no proof to say otherwise "My sister was skilled with the sword. No regular thief would have gotten close enough. It must have been someone with experience."

Lancelot kept his opinion silent, he still didn't know how you would react if he would speak his mind openly. He had a feeling the Huntsman was involved in your sister's murder, but how would you react to him accusing your own brother ? If you truly hated or feared your brother, why would you stay in Mirstone ? He concluded that you either felt safe or had no other option. Both of those options did not sit well with him. If the Huntsman truly killed your sister, he was capable of doing the same to you.

Lancelot's eyes fell on the bruises on your neck again, the ones you had kept hidden under your scarf until you had used it to bind the bleeding gash on his arm. Then he remembered the ones he had seen on your arm in the forest when he had captured you and the boy. They were similar, too similar. His eyes narrowed, the wheels in his head turning, had you considered that your brother could be responsible for your sister's death? He watched you intently to see your reaction as he asked “How did the Huntsman react when he realised your sister was against his...work ?”

The memory of them screaming at each other came crashing back to you, he had struck her in the face so hard she had hit the ground. And still she did not submit to him. It had enraged Draegan even more. He could not bend her to his will. The thought that your brother might show up soon filled you with fear. If they would find the Monk...well Lancelot here in your bedroom along with a fey boy...

Two feys.

One of them his rival.  
Their blood would be on your hands, you had brought them here. By your silence he concluded that the Huntsman had not reacted well. You tried to keep your composure but Lancelot had noticed the change in your attitude. He was a perceptive man and he knew something was off. You had looked scared of him at times, but never truly afraid. It is why he noticed that for some reason, you were now. He noticed the way your hands visibly shook. Something you were trying not to show. The wheels in his head were turning, the pieces of the puzzle started to fall into place.

“He's a monster.”  
The description you had given of the Huntsman, your brother, was one of the pieces.  
The bruises he had seen on your arm days ago, the one the boy had just pointed out...the ones on your neck...  
It was all starting to connect in his mind. The Huntsman's cruelty did not just focus on the fey. Were you really enduring all of this because staying close to the Huntsman gave you the chance to help the fey ? All this time you were suffering in silence under his tyranny...the Huntsman was trying to force you into submission just as the paladins had done to him once. With violence. You had flinched more then once in his presence, he had always ignored it, but now he understood why. Lancelot felt his blood boil at the realisation. He tried to hide the anger in his voice as he asked the question that now haunted him “Y/n... How would the Huntsman react if he saw you now ?”

He saw you swallow thickly, your eyes suddenly distant and avoiding him. Your silence was the loudest answer you could have given him. You stood up and placed the rest of the thread back on the shelf. You did not answer his question, why was he asking this ? Why did he care ? 

And then as if the universe was playing some sick joke on you, you heard the sound of approaching horses. You knew what that meant, Lancelot was alarmed instantly and so was the boy. For a second you were frozen in fear, then you kicked into action and blew out the candles. You grabbed hold of Lancelot's clothes and shoved them in his hands. “Get dressed. Hurry !” You spoke hastly to him, and tossed the fey materials back into the small chest before shoving it under the bed.

He didn't have to ask what was going on, he knew by the fear in your eyes.

The Huntsman had returned.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You go to face Draegan who is aware of your betrayal. Abbot Wicklow has put a bounty on Lancelot and Percival that Draegan is eager to claim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Trauma, abusive violence, slut-shaming. Just a lot of angst in these ones, my bad.

This was bad, really bad. A ruckus was coming from outside, his other men had awoken as well. You could hear your brother's voice among the others. There were two feys in your home, and your brother knew of your betrayal. All you could do was try and distract your brother away from your home. Perhaps you could reason with Draegan. You turned to Lancelot “Wait here with the boy. They would never believe you to be here in my room.”

He frowned before it dawned on him that you might consider going out there “You cannot truly be thinking of facing the Huntsman out there ?! He just gave you up to the Red Paladins to be tortured and killed !”

You huffed loudly, there was no time to argue about this “I have to ! I can keep him busy long enough for you and the boy to escape through the door. I will lead him away from the house.”

Lancelot took hold of your arm when you tried to move past him “There must be another way to leave here unnoticed !”

You pulled your arm out of his grasp “Like what ? You'll climb through my window in your condition ? You couldn't even get up the stairs, Lancelot ! Wait until I have distracted them, then leave this village. Look after Percival. Draegan is my brother, my concern. Yours is keeping that boy safe. ”

“Y/n...” He called out to you but you were already going down the stairs.

Perhaps you could convince your brother you were more valuable alive. Perhaps you could make him believe you would tell him everything you knew about the fey. All you had to do now was distract them and keep Draegan and his men away from your home so Lancelot could escape Mirstone with Percival. Lancelot was in no condition to fight in case your brother had heard about what happened in the paladin camp. Draegan would surely turn against Lancelot if he knew the former Weeping Monk was now helping the fey. He never liked him, he was his rival since the beginning and would jump at the opportunity to deal with him. You couldn't let this happen, you had to keep him and Percival out of your brother's sight. Whatever the cost.

Once outside you saw the people of the Mirstone stare at you, they clearly did not expect to see you there. You shut the door to your home and you walked until you saw Draegan and his henchmen. One of his men pointed in your direction and you braced yourself for what was to come. Draegan turned to look in your direction, even from afar you could see the rage in his eyes. The tension filled the air and you saw the people from the village step aside as they marched towards you. Of course none of them were insane enough to try and help you. The feeling of dread settled inside of you. This would not be pretty, Father Carden had informed him that you were warning the fey. Sabotaging his work. Carden had offered to spare your life if your brother worked for free. An offer your brother had of course declined. He must have heard about you escaping the camp as he did not look suprised to so you there. He nodded in your direction and within seconds his men had you in their grasp.

Draegan stopped in front of you and wrapped his hand around your throat tightly “Ah, the traitor returns ! I told Carden to kill you. Told him to break you until you told all your secrets. My own sister, meddling with feys! With that Weeping bastard !” He spat the words at you, and you knew he had heard about how you had escaped the paladin camp with Lancelot and Percival. Brogan was standing among the other men, looking like he had a terrible headache. 

“Caught them in her home after dark a couple of days ago.” Brogan informed Draegan about the evening that Lancelot had come to your home to ask you to stop warning the fey.

“TALKING !” You shouted at Brogan “We were talking! I did not even invite him !”

Draegan laughed in disbelief and let go off your throat “Talking...with the Weeping Monk ?” he pointed at you accusingely “I knew there was something going on between you and that bastard ! What ? Did you tell him you would spread your legs for him if he helped you save that fey boy? If he helped you? Is that what you did, little sister ? Did you lure the Weeping Monk himself away from his faith ?”

You were speechless at his accusations, did he really think you were like that ?

Tears stinged at the corners of your eyes, you had never been so insulted by him. And now he was doing it in public. His men were laughing and it made your stomach turn.

“Where's that bastard now, y/n ? And where is that spawn of evil ? They told me they had gone with you.” His voice was low and threatening and by the way he had asked you that, you realised that he didn't know that Lancelot was fey.

“I don't know.” It was a half-truth. You had told Lancelot to escape with the boy once you had distracted your brother and his men. You hoped they had had the chance to escape by now.  
“No ?” He walked past you and beckoned for his men to follow. They roughly dragged you along and stopped not far from your home.

“Break down the door.” Draegan snapped his fingers and nodded for his men to break down the door to your house.  
"No ! Wait !" You cry out and struggled to break free.  
Then you were struck in the face. He had hit you before but this was definitely one of the most painful ones. Their grasp on you faltered and you fell to the ground from the force of the hit, your hand went up to your face. You could feel your cheek burning and when you touched the side of your mouth, there was blood on your fingers.  
Draegan looked at you, rage spilling from his eyes and you were too shocked to move.  
"Bring them out. Remember gentlemen, that fey boy and that Weeping bastard are worth a lot of coin." He commanded his company.  
"No..." You tried to get up only to be pushed to the ground again by Draegan's boot.  
"Stay where you are, little sister, or you'll regret it." He sneered at you.  
You watched in horror as the others broke down the door of your home.

Draegan looked down at you, a sickening grin on his face "I was wondering if you would dare show your face again after your betrayal. Magnolia made the same mistake. Believed she could go behind my back to warn the fey, believed she could stand in my way. It is only fitting for you to die as she did, bleeding out all alone."

You looked up at him in horror, tears stung your eyes. Never had Magnolia told you that she was trying to warn the fey, and Draegan had killed her for it. You wanted to believe that your instincts were wrong and that it was thieves, but deep down you always feared he was responsible for it.

"Abbot Wicklow wants that Weeping bastard and that demon's spawn. He'll pay very generously for them. And you ? I'll hand you to the paladins myself. They will see it as an act of good faith." His threats were never empty and you feared that soon, you would burn as well. They came out of your home only moments later but to your relief, Lancelot nor Percival was with them. 

"He's gone !" They shouted at him in confussion.

Draegan screamed at them in frustration “THEN SEARCH THE VILLAGE, DAMNIT !!!!”  
A wave of relief washed over you until you realised this would further fuel Draegan's fury.  
Draegan clenched his jaw as he looked down at you on the ground.  
"Where is he ?" He was seething now.

You shook your head, not looking up at him. He kicked you hard in the stomach in response, you rolled over in pain. You gasped and groaned. After a few seconds you scrambled to your knees again.

Draegan was barely containing his rage now “You have cost me a lot of coin ! WHERE IS HE ?!”  
You had no idea where they had went, you didn't see them leave. An answer that would never please Draegan. And you wouldn't tell him even if you did know. You would die before you would tell him.  
You shook your head, not daring to look up at him as you knew what was going to happen next.  
He stepped closer, to kick you in the stomach again but stopped dead in his tracks.  
"I'm here." A hoarse voice answered his question. So few words but they were laced with venom and threat.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You had believed Lancelot would have escaped with Percival when he had the chance. It seems Lancelot refuses to abandon you and he realises that the Huntsman is exactly what you had once called him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Trauma, violence, slut-shaming, death, rape threat / sexual intimidation.

You quickly looked up and your eyes widened when you saw Lancelot holding the tip of his sword in front of Draegan's throat.  
You had expected that he would have escaped with Percival when he had the chance. And yet, here he was.

Lancelot had climbed through the window of your room with the boy, knowing this situation was going to escalate. He had send the boy to fetch Goliath as he made his way out there to help you. He had heard the vile insults. He had heard how the Huntsman confessed to killing your sister, and threatened to do the same to you. Lancelot had waited until most of the Huntsman's mercenaries were preoccupied with searching the village. He had seen how the Huntsman had kicked you when you were already on the ground and was about to do it again had he not stopped him in his tracks.

“Ah, look who we have here. Have you come to rescue your whore once again ?” Draegan taunted, gesturing to you.

He should have known the Huntsman would say something horrible, but his eyes still widened when he heard that, Lancelot couldn't believe his own ears. You couldn't help but feel terribly humiliated and you casted your eyes to the ground. Lancelot saw your reaction to what the Huntsman had said and it infuriated him only more. He always knew the Huntsman was a detestable man, but until now he had hidden it from him. Now Lancelot saw the real person behind the pretence and it disgusted him. He refused to dignify that vile question with an answer “I've come to teach you some respect.”

“You know who you're dealing with, Monk ?” Draegan did not seem afraid of Lancelot, and if he was, he was not showing it.

“A coward ?” Lancelot answered arrogantly.

Draegan chuckled oddly, something he often did before losing his patience completely. Some of his men were cautiously approaching the scene but to everyone's suprise Draegan held up a hand, signalling for them not to interfere between them “No. I will deal with him myself.”

Lancelot smirked when he heard it, this was clearly personal to the Huntsman.

“Tell me, Monk, how about we settle this as men ? Without the steel.” Draegan actually tapped his fingers against Lancelot's sword.

You looked up in worry, you had seen the injuries Lancelot had, with his sword he could keep your brother at a distance. And you knew your brother was known for beating people, fey, anyone. As if he was only happy when he could punch something. Draegan knew he couldn't beat Lancelot in a sword fight, but in a regular fight there was no telling who could win.

“Don't...” You spoke up, looking at Lancelot. He looked down at you and you shook your head, signalling that it was a bad idea.

Draegan saw how you and Lancelot exchanged looks and added in a mocking tone “Or I could command my men to help, and force you to watch as they make some use of her before I hand her back over to the paladins.”

You felt your blood run cold at his words, and when you heard some of his men wolf whistle you started to tremble. One of them closest to you actually reached out his hand and let his finger stroke your cheek, you flinched away when you felt it happen.

Lancelot's mouth went dry and he was filled with white-hot rage, he glared daggers at the man who had reached down to touch you.

Draegan mocked once more “You don't look good, Monk. Think you can kill me and my men in your state ?”

Lancelot weighed his options, if he won this fight against the Huntsman, his henchmen would retreat. They were mercenaries, and it would be above their usual pay to deal with him. If he beat the Huntsman, the strongest, unarmed it would prove a point. He moved his sword away from the Huntsman slowly with bravado, and with a smug inclination of the head he dropped his sword to the ground. He usually did not enjoy the killing, but this ? This was going to be an exception.

The Huntsman drew his sword and tossed it aside as well. His men were spurring him on now, egging him on. “I'll give you a reason to weep, Monk.” He taunted again.

Lancelot scoffed at his remark and beckoned for him to attack. Challenged him. Draegan almost ran up to him and took a swing, aiming at his face. He narrowly dodged it by stepping aside, grabbing Draegan's arm and pushing him forward. Draegan stumbled but regained his balance, he turned quickly and succesfully landed a punch, hard enough to cause Lancelot's nose to start bleeding.

You feared this fight would not end well for Lancelot, and you tried to scramble to your feet. You felt a boot against your back an you were pushed down again by the henchmen closest to you. 

"Stay down ! The show isn't over yet. You'll watch and see how he kills that bastard !"

Lancelot saw it happen. Even though he would enjoy taking his time killing the Huntsman and proving to the people in the village that he was nothing more then a tyrant, he knew it was too much of a risk. And when he saw one of the mercenaries push you to the ground again he lost his patience. He let the Huntsman think he had managed to disorientate him, knowing the hothead would strike again. And he did, but this time Lancelot blocked his arm before punching the Huntsman in the gut, hard enough to make him double over as he took a few steps back before sinking to his knees. It looked so painful that even you winced because of it. You could see some of Draegan's men starting to walk backwards, away from the scene.

You watched as Lancelot approached your brother and looked down at him. Like a wolf studying it's wounded prey. He grabbed his sword off of the ground. The fact that Lancelot had managed to beat your brother to his knees and had picked up his sword again seemed to have made the henchmen nervous. A quick glance at their face confirmed that they were afraid. You knew how injured he was but they did not, for all they knew they would be up against a notorious fighter who had just beaten the strongest to his knees unarmed.

A smirk played on his lips as he licked some of the blood away that had run down to his mouth "It is harder to beat someone who can defend themselves, is it not ?" Draegan attempted to stand up and would have succeeded had Lancelot not proceeded to jab him in the face with the hilt of his sword. Draegan fell backwards to the ground. 

"Harder to hit someone who will fight back..." The words were laced with venom and he sunk the tip of his sword into Draegan's palm who screamed in agony. His choice of words made you realise that Lancelot must have figured out where your bruises came from. Was he truly standing up for you against Draegan ?

You saw your brother's remaining henchmen retreat away from the scene. By the look you saw in Lancelot's eyes, it was crystal clear that he would kill anyone who would dare to interfere. He pulled his sword out of Draegan's hand and blood splattered out of it. You were on hands and knees, watching the gruesome display as you held a hand to your bruised abdomen. The way he fought now was different to how you had seen him fight before, you knew he would not let your brother live. You could see the fury burning in his eyes, no wonder the others were not interferring.

Draegan moved until he sat on his knees, looking up at Lancelot who was now towering over him. He laughed maniacally “You're pathetic, Monk ! All of this, for her ? For my whore of a sister ? For you to get between her-”

Draegan did not get to end that sentence as he was brutally punched in the face by Lancelot. He had heard enough out of this vile being, this was not a person to him, this was exactly as you had once told him. A monster. Draegan fell on his back, stunned by the brutal blow to the face. He was not getting up after that one so fast. He coughed up some blood as Lancelot turned his sword in his hand and held it low above the Huntsman's stomach for one second before raising it higher, ready to sink his sword into him.

"Lancelot, don't !" You suddenly spoke up.  
He stopped, his sword still hanging above your brother's stomach, ready to strike.  
Lancelot's eyes searched yours, why did you want him to stop ?

Even though you hated Draegan, hated what he did and threatened to do, perhaps there was still some good in him. Perhaps it was not too late. And the thought that you would watch your own kin be killed just felt wrong. You felt guilty at the thought, you did not want all this bloodshed “He's still my brother, even if he is a monster. My parents would turn in their graves if I would let him be killed.”

Lancelot seemed to think about your words, he was silently suprised by you showing mercy for a man like the Huntsman. After everything he had done and said to you, you were now asking him to let him live ?  
He both admired and hated that request for mercy.  
Lancelot looked down at him, his face was covered in blood, his nose crooked after hitting him the last time.  
He pressed the tip of his sword into the Huntsman's stomach until he drew blood "If you try to get up from the ground, I will kill you. Do you understand me ?"  
He pressed his sword a little deeper and the Huntsman screamed in agony "Yes ! Yes! I understand !"  
Only then did Lancelot remove his sword from him and reluctantly stepped away from the Huntsman.

Lancelot approached you and held out his hand, you hesitated before taking it. Days ago Draegan was his ally, and you pretty much his enemy. And now he had stepped in to help you and brutally beaten Draegan. As Lancelot gingerly took hold of your arm to help you to your feet, you saw Draegan get up from the ground behind him and pull a dagger from his boot. Your eyes widened in horror. In a moment of pure survival instinct you pushed Lancelot aside just in time and grabbed the sword Draegan had tossed aside from the ground. Draegan had launched at Lancelot, and would have struck him had you not pushed him away. Then you sank the sword into Draegan's stomach. You let go off the sword, shocked by your own actions. Lancelot was startled, clearly not expecting Draegan to just get up after all of that. Both of you watched as he sank to his knees before falling over on his side. Blood was running from his mouth as he breathed his last breath.

You sat there on your knees, on the cold ground, shaking at the sight. You had just killed someone. Not a stranger, no, your own brother. Even after everything he did to you, you still felt horrible. Perhaps you were more like the Huntsman then you thought you were... 

It was as if time had stopped right there and then. Blood had streamed down the sword unto your hands. You felt sick and dizzy at the sight. Some had even splattered on your face.

One look at your face and Lancelot recognised what you were going through, he had reacted the same way when he had first killed someone.  
But he couldn't let you break down now, not here where it wasn't safe. Lancelot knew he had to leave this place, it was anything but safe here. Not for him, and not for you and the boy. For now the Huntsman's mercenaries stayed back, but if they figured out he was wounded they would surely try to attack him. As the Huntsman had said, he and the boy had a bounty on their heads. And even if he did manage to kill them, it wouldn't be long before Wicklow send his Trinity Guards to Mirstone to look for the three of you. If he had not done so already.

He grabbed your arm, making sure it wasn't the one that had the bruises, and helped you to your feet.  
Your eyes remained on Draegan laying lifeless on the ground. The monster that had tormented you, the brother you had grown up with, the cruel Huntsman... and you felt horrified by what you had done. That you were able to do it as if it was your instinct, perhaps killing ran in your bloodline.  
The sound of small feet running towards you along with the sound of hooves did not pull you from your shocked state. It was Lancelot grabbing your shoulders and shaking you a little that did. You had not even heard him talk until now, his voice seemed far away and was now getting louder, clearer.  
Percival waited closeby with Goliath, having waited from afar until the fight was over.  
"Y/n ! Look at me, breath !" Lancelot spoke louder and his voice was tense.  
Finally you took a couple of deep breaths and pulled your eyes away from the horrifying image and looked at Lancelot.  
"We cannot stay here. It is not safe. Wicklow could already be on his way to find us. We have to go. Now !"  
Another deep breath and you nodded, not able to form words just yet.  
Lancelot beckoned for the boy to come closer whilst looking at the Huntsmen's mercenaries who thankfully stayed at a distance.  
He didn't let go off your arm as he guided you to the horse with haste. He mounted first and pulled Percival up to sit in front of him again, then he reached down his hand for you to take. Everything felt so surreal now. The sun was rising, casting a light on the village and it's people who had done nothing to help you, beaming down on the now grimson tainted grass around your brother.

“Y/n...” Lancelot pulled your attention to him, his voice calm. He knew you were in a state of shock after all that.

Your throat felt dry as you finally noticed his outstretched hand in your direction and realised he was waiting for you to get on the horse as well. You felt anxious and looked up at him “You want me to...”

He gave a short nod and you stiffly took his hand, even when injured he still managed to help you on the horse and you sat behind him. Another anxious feeling settled in your gut when you didn't know what to do with your hands, you would have to hold onto something if you didn't want to end up falling off of the horse. He must have noticed your unease as he answered your unspoken question “Hold on to me.”

Percival looked past him at you, the boy looked concerned and you felt horrible that the boy had to watch all of that unfold. You just hoped he had not heard the insults. You rigidly placed your hands on Lancelot's sides. He tilted his head to discreetly speak to you over his shoulder “You've sewn my skin back together but would rather fall off this horse then hold on to me ?”

There was sarcasm in that question but you detected something else, something you couldn't place.

“Shut up.” You brushed his question away but couldn't hide the hint of embarrassement in your voice. What would you tell him ? That you weren't used to holding people ? Especially not him. His brows raised and he rolled his eyes. You showed no intention to replace your hands. He sighed in frustration and took hold of your hand, moving it so it was resting on his chest, before doing the same with the other.

“Hold on to me, y/n. Is your discomfort worth a broken neck ?” Lancelot waited for your answer. Finally, you reluctantly clasped your hands together, anchoring yourself to him. He made sure you didn't see the victorious smirk when he was able to convince you. Everything seemed to be a challenge with you. He revelled in the feeling that, for once, you had listened to him. And then you purposely pulled your clasped hands against him, knowing damn well that you had stitched a wound there not long ago. He bit back the groan it caused within him, at least you were back to your old feisty self. Then you did something he did not expect, you placed your chin on his shoulder and asked impatient “Are we going or not ?”

He froze. Something about you doing that felt far more intimate then your hands clasped in front of his chest. Even more intimate then when you had cleaned his wounds and touched his bare skin. He couldn't recall you ever being this close before, other then the time he had held you against his chest to threaten you. But that had not been your choice, this was. He had even felt your warm breath pass by his cheek when you had spoken. The awkward silence made Percival turn to look at him, both you and the boy had the same questioning look. You tapped a hand against his chest and he snapped out of it.

“At this pace we would be quicker on foot !” Percival piped up and only then did Lancelot beckon for Goliath to move.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are still in a state of shock after what happened and Lancelot questions why you had wished to show mercy to the Huntsman.

After riding like that for hours, you felt yourself grow more relaxed holding onto Lancelot. You didn’t hate him like you had once done, you didn’t know how to feel about him now. Could you trust him ? It felt so confusing. Still, you felt yourself grow tired after all this time without proper sleep and rested your head against his back. You hated to admit that feeling him breath calmly like this almost made you doze off. The thought that you might fall off the horse was what kept you awake. He had felt you lean closer against him, felt your head resting against his back and how you seemed more comfortable with holding on to him like this. Lancelot worried you would fall asleep and end up plummeting off of Goliath. It was time to halt somewhere and offer Goliath some rest as well. The last thing he wanted was to exhaust the loyal horse. He finally halted the horse near a river bank. He helped the boy off of the horse first before helping you, and he noticed you were having some difficulty dismounting. The Huntsman had not been merciful to you, and neither had his henchmen. When one of them had pushed you back to the ground with his boot, it had been in the spot where the boy had spotted the large bruise. And before that, the Huntsman had brutally kicked you in the stomach.

He would offer to check on them to see the severity of your bruises or injuries but he feared you would not appreciate the offer. Lancelot could feel that you did not trust him yet, you were not afraid but it did not mean you were comfortable around him. Lastly he dismounted and winced when he felt the thread on one of his sewed up wounds pull at his skin. The fey medicine you had given him had blocked out most of the pain, now he regretted not taking that chest with him. He could have made you drink the rest of that fey medicine instead of watching _you_ be in pain now. You were glad he had picked this place to stop, so close to a river. You held a hand tightly against your abdomen. You felt the familiar burning pain that you had felt many times before, but it was worse this time. Draegan had kicked you before but never this brutally. You looked down at your hands, blood was stuck to them. And then you remembered that drops of his blood were also on your face.

Lancelot had noticed the shift in your behaviour and watched as you walked a small distance away from them before you knelled besides the river.

“Is she going to be alright ?” The boy looked up at him with a look of doubt.

A look that he shared with the boy “I’ll go and see.”

“What should _I_ do then ?” Percival was starting to sound bored.

“Do you know how to make a fire ?” He looked down at the boy, already guessing the answer when the boy looked at him as if he had insulted him.

“Do I look stupid to you ?” The boy shook his head, visibly irritated “You’re not the only one who can set things on fire, you know ?”

The boy had a way to mentally slap him with his words, it was definitely one of Percival’s talents. He elected to ignore that last sentence “Collect some firewood, and…set it on fire. It will be dark soon.”

“And you will _talk_ to y/n while I do that ?” The boy seemed interested in that, there was a hidden undertone in his question.

He narrowed his eyes for a moment when he detected the undertone “Yes…what else would I do ?”

Even though the boy was nowhere near his height he stared him down for a moment before shrugging his shoulders “Alright then.”

He was perplexed by the boy’s reaction, Percival seemed rather protective over you. But then again, you had always been kind to the boy so it should not come as a suprise. Lancelot turned to look in your direction and watched as you washed your hands in the river, one look at you and the memory of his own reaction to killing someone for the first time came back to him.

  
  


  
  


You were shaking when the water from the river streamed through your hands and watched as the water turned pink. The memory of you stabbing Draegan and watching as he collapsed to the ground flooded your mind. It happened so fast and you still couldn’t believe that was your instinctive reaction. You swallowed the lump in your throat and started to rub your hands roughly, wanting to wash away the results of your unspeakable actions. Only when the skin of your hands started to hurt, did you stop. The blood was gone, but you could still feel it’s phantom lingering, as if it had sunken into your skin. You wanted that feeling to go away, to be erased. But no matter how long you would try and wash it off, you knew it would taint you forever.

You were indeed the Huntsman’s sister. A killer just like he was. You closed your eyes and felt the tears stream down your face. Your parents would never have forgiven you if they had still been alive. All of your kin was gone now, your brother had murdered your sister and now you had murdered your brother. When you heard quiet footsteps approach you quickly washed the blood and tears from your face. You didn’t bother looking behind you when you heard him get closer, there was only one person you knew that was able to walk this quietly. He had always caught you off-guard because of it.

Lancelot had tried to think of something to say while he was walking over to you, but they had vanished from his mind when he noticed the tears staining your cheeks before you had washed them away. After a moment of silence he could only state what he believed was true “You did the right thing, y/n.”

“The right thing ?” You scoffed in disbelieve, it was audible how upset you were “I killed someone, I killed my own brother !”

He looked down at you, watching how you fought back the tears that were so evidently forming in your eyes “You had no other choice. He was not going to stop ! Had you not pushed me away when you did, I doubt we would both be here now.”

Deep down you knew Lancelot was right, but the guilt was clouding your mind.

“Why did you stop me then ? His blood would have been on my hands, not yours.” He still questioned why you had asked him to show mercy to the Huntsman.

You looked up at him and let out a sigh “Violence should never be the norm. Maybe he could have changed his ways.”

He found the mercy you had shown towards your brother both odd and admirable “Would he have shown you the same compassion ?” _He_ knew the answer, but he was curious if _you_ realised that the Huntsman wouldn’t have blinked twice if you died.

You shook your head and let out a bitter laugh “He would have sold me off like cattle if I stopped serving his purpose. You heard what he said, what he would have let his men do…”

Lancelot had heard the threat, he had heard it loud and clear, and he had wanted to have the satisfaction of killing the Huntsman himself because of it.

“He has hurt you before…has he not ?” He gingerly reached down to touch your arm with the tips of his fingers, the one that he knew was covered in the bruises he had seen that day in the forest. You looked at his hand lightly touching your lower arm, the sleeve of your jacket covered the evidence he was referring to.

You nodded in silence, and then you felt him lightly touching your jaw, making you tilt your head so your neck was more exposed. You looked up at him and saw how he was looking at the bruises in your neck now.

“Many times ?” His fingers were almost touching your neck now.

You moved a little out of his reach and he moved his hand away “Many enough. It was worse when I was defiant, as you have seen.”

He was eerily quiet, ever since he met you he had known you to be defiant. You had shown him almost nothing else but defiance for so long, and it dawned on him that even with his reputation you always had been less afraid of him then you were of the Huntsman. Otherwise you had not shown him such defiance all this time.

Lancelot suspected what the answer to his question would be, but he wanted to hear the truth from you “Why didn’t you leave ? If he hurt you… why not leave ?”

You shrugged your shoulders, a sad smile on your lips as you looked at the water “He was my kin and he did terrible things. If I stayed I could help those he wished to harm. I couldn’t just turn away knowing that I could make a difference. As long as I stayed close I could help the fey.”

He swallowed thickly, he felt horrible thinking back to all the times he had threatened your life. You were suffering all this time and him hounding you had only added to that. He saw pieces of himself in you, both withstanding the silent suffering beside the ones who sought to ‘cleanse’ the fey.

A bitter chuckle escaped you “Besides, I have no one else. He murdered my sister, he practically raised me. Well…raised…”

By raised you meant he had practically shoved you into the hands of anyone close enough at that moment, to be cared for. Of course the people of Mirstone did not like the responsibility of caring for the little sister of the feared Huntsman, so they shoved some food in your hands out of pity before leaving you to yourself. You often spoke to the other children, but friendship was not an option. The parents would not allow their children to bond with you, it wasn’t until you were almost an adult that the people you had grown up with started to treat you like a normal person. But it was not friendship. They feared the Huntsman too much to get close to his sister.

The words escaped him before he could stop them, because to him they were a truth that needed to be voiced “You’re not alone anymore, y/n.”

You frowned when you heard him say that and looked up at him questioningly. He shifted on his feet, something he had always done when he was uncomfortable. What had he meant by that ? Did he… ?

Finally he cleared his throat and gestured in the direction of the boy “He needs us.”

It was not how he wanted to tell you this, but he worried how you would respond if he outrightly told you that he wished to remain in your presence. So he had pointed out that the boy needed both him and you and hoped you would understand the unspoken truth. 

You looked in the direction of the boy “Oh…”

For a moment you had thought he was talking about himself, you caught yourself feeling silently disappointed that that was not the case. You brushed the strange feeling aside and quirked a brow at him “Well, according to him he doesn’t need us.”

Lancelot looked in the direction of the boy again before smirking down at you “Who else will tell him that if he makes that fire any larger they will see us all the way back to Mirstone ?”

You quickly whipped your head around and saw how large the fire already was, and when Percival tossed another piece of firewood in it you jumped to your feet. Lancelot was looking impressed by it, and you groaned in frustration before making your way over to the boy.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both you and Lancelot find yourselves growing more comfortable around each other and you tell him you know of a safe place to travel to.

The conversation with Lancelot about how your brother had treated you was still going through your mind when the sun went down. He was more compassionate then you had first believed him to be. It dawned on you that it could be because he himself had undergone a similar treatment by Father Carden. The moment Carden had slapped him hard across the face was burned into your memory. The look in his eyes one you would never forget. In that moment you had seen yourself in him. And now you felt strangely guilty for slapping him in the forest that night. Sure, he had threatened your life but he had _never_ struck you. He had always remained quite civil and now it was clear that he did not approve of the sort of violence your brother had made you endure. Percival was tossing leaves into the fire and watching as they burned to a crisp. He looked tired and bored, mostly tired. You softly brushed a hand through the boy’s hair “You should get some sleep, we will wake you when it’s time to get up.”

The boy let out a loud yawn that distorted his voice “Fine.”

  
  


  
  


Lancelot was busy checking Goliath’s saddle when he heard you approach and stop next to him.

“I feel like I need to apologize.” You stammered awkwardly.

His brows drew together and he turned just enough to look at you “What-”

You interrupted him before he could speak “For hitting you. I wish I had not.”

It confused him greatly until it dawned on him that you were talking about the time you had slapped him across the face in the forest. He had almost forgotten it, but what you had said about his soul then was etched into his memory “I understand why you did.”

Looking up at him, you fumbled with your hands “Still… I…we both know what it’s like to get slapped like that.”

His eyes fell to the ground “You saw me as an enemy. And I believed you to be mine.”

You crossed your arms in front of your chest “We’re good then ? Or are we still uh…”

You nodded to the sword at his side and he let out a light scoff and actually chuckled.

“I always thought you were more interesting alive.” He confessed, not thinking it through.

You quirked a brow and a sly smirk krept on your lips “Did you now ?" 

You messed with him a bit to lighten the mood, but the fact that he failed to respond made you wonder if what he said did not in fact mean more. And the slight hint of pink now gracing his cheeks added to that.

“Anyway, I’m sorry for slapping you in the forest that day.” You broke the silence.

Lancelot looked at the ground, the corner of his mouth turned up “And I am sorry for dragging you and the boy _through_ the forest that day.”

His apology took you by suprise “I’m sorry, what was that ? I didn’t quite catch that…”

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes, realising that you were messing with him “I said I’m sorry, y/n.”

You smiled victoriously, and he shook his head “Hey… uhm…how are you feeling ?”  
It was a question he had never been asked before. Not that he could remember at least. And the fact that it was you asking him that came as an even bigger suprise.  
Weeks ago you had looked at him as if you wanted to strangle him with your bare hands and now you were asking him how he _felt_ ?  
Lancelot didn’t even realise he was staring at you for a moment after the question, then he blinked and uttered a quick answer “Better.”  
You raised a brow, doubting that answer “Better ? Even after that punch to the nose ?”  
Sure, he certainly had felt that punch the Huntsman had landed on him. But the fact that he had settled that situation gave him an euphoric feeling.  
“I’ve been through worse and survived.” The injuries caused by the Trinity Guards had been far worse. And had you and the boy not helped him, he would have bled out in the forest. Or perished from the fever by now.  
Lancelot realised he hadn’t actually thanked you for that yet. You had been frightened of him and you had still been brave enough to treat his wounds.  
He took a deep breath “I wouldn’t be alive now had you not helped me. For that I am grateful to you, y/n. I owe you my life.”

He meant it, these few days he had spend with you and Percival had reignited something that he thought he had lost forever. Hope. He had not felt this alive for so long, he was not just mindlessly following orders, he was living. He finally found something that filled the emptiness inside of him.  
“I wouldn’t be alive either if you hadn’t helped me…twice.” You reminded him.  
Then he asked a question that had been going through his mind for a while now, and the moment it left his mouth he wished he had kept quiet.  
“I wonder why the Huntsman believed that we…that…” Lancelot let the question fade out. It felt too personal to ask, even feeling lightly embarrassed now.  
You gaped at him, almost rolling your eyes “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you kept following me around and showed up in my home at night ?”  
He noted the heavy sarcasm in your voice “You know why I was doing that.”  
You tilted your head arrogantly “But they did not. And know that whole town thinks that I…that we…”  
Now it was your voice that faded out as you awkwardly gestured to him.  
Lancelot cleared his throat, visibly regretting ever bringing that up.  
Finally you shrugged “Damn them. They never helped me when they saw how my brother treated me. I never thought _you_ would…but you did. Thank you.”  
He gave an inclination of the head, acknowledging your expression of gratitude even though he did not expect you to thank him for such a thing.  
You shifted on your feet nervously, weeks ago you would never have told him what you were about to tell him “I know of a safe place where we could go to, unless you have another idea ?”  
He thought about it for a moment again, it had gone through his mind non-stop right after he had saved you and the boy from the paladin camp. He was not able to think of a place where it would be safe. People knew him, they knew of his reputation and the markings beneath his eyes were not helpful at keeping a low profile.  
Finally he shook his head and waited for you to speak.  
You started to explain your plan to him “There is a place… it shouldn’t be far from here. Some feys once told me about it when I was…uh…”  
He smirked smugly and quirked his brow “When you were not warning them ?”  
You narrowed your eyes at him “Will you ever let that go ?”  
No. No, he would not. You had spend too much time driving him insane with it. Besides, he caught himself liking that dark look you gave him when he annoyed you.  
Lancelot sighed and looked at the ground “Do you know where this place is ?”  
You nodded “I do. I’ve never been there but the way they spoke of it…the place exists.”  
He gave a nod “We will rest here for a while. I believe we could use some sleep if we are to continue our journey.”

“Sounds like a good plan. I have barely slept.” You mumbled more to yourself and walked away.

  
  


  
  


OOOoooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooOOO  
  


  
  


Night had fallen and Lancelot had insisted to keep watch while you and the boy would sleep. Percival had fallen asleep quite fast and you had taken off your jacket and drapped it over the boy. Lancelot watched in silence how you covered the boy with your jacket. He was sitting against a tree, a bit further away from the fire. He saw how you had clutched your abdomen with your hand when you had bend down to tuck in the boy. It suprised him that you had not complained about the pain yet, but then again, both of you seemed reluctant to admit when you were in pain. He watched as you walked over towards him and looked up at your face when you stopped next to him. You placed a hand on the tree before slowly moving to sit down against the other side of the tree. Your shoulder brushed against his as you sat against the tree as well now. Both facing another direction. He couldn’t describe the feeling that coursed through him now. Were you becoming more comfortable around him ?

For a moment there was silence and to his suprise, it did not feel uncomfortable. It dawned on him that he was getting used to your presence close to him. Somehow it even calmed him.

“Back in the paladin camp…” You quietly started, so it wouldn’t wake the boy “You could have left and just saved the boy.”

Lancelot knew it was true. Yet when he had decided to save the boy, he just could not leave you there to die. He would have been a hypocrit to let you die for the same thing he was about to do. Saving a fey. And deep down he knew that it was not just his conscious deciding that, no, somewhere along the way he had grown fond of you. You were one of the few who didn’t seem to truly fear him, who saw him not as a monster but as a person. And truthfully, he enjoyed to be around you. You challenged him and he liked that. He replied quietly, letting his gaze fall on the grass in front of him “It would have made me a hypocrit, don’t you think ? That would mean I would have let you die for something I was doing as well. We have both helped fey.”

You leaned against his shoulder a bit “So, you didn’t want them to kill me either then ? Why is that exactly ? I mean, I did get in your way by doing what I did.”

Lancelot fell silent, deep down he knew he never really wanted to kill you. He just wanted you to stop getting in the way of things. That day in the forest, when you made him face the truth he knew he could never kill you even if Father had commanded it. By then you had gotten under his skin, you had gotten through the cracks in his soul.

He gave an honest reply to you “I suppose I no longer saw the point. Besides, as I said before, you’re more interesting alive. Usually people don’t try to have a conversation with me.”

“Conversations ? Is that what you call them ? I don’t remember those being very friendly…” A hint of sarcasm in your voice. He smirked at that, it was true, they had mostly been arguments. But those had held more meaning to him then any conversation he had ever had with Father.

“Are we not acting friendly now ?” He talked over his shoulder but didn’t look at you.

“It’s an improvement. At least now you’re not holding a sword to my throat while we talk.” You deadpanned.

This time he looked at you and saw the smirk on your face, he sighed but felt the corner of his mouth turn up into a smirk as well. “You may not have listened to me when we spoke, but I listened to you. You made me face the truth. I’ve never met anyone before you or the Green Knight that had tried to do that. That talked to me like a person and not like the monster that I am.” Lancelot confessed, his eyes landed on yours.

“You’re not a monster, Lancelot.” You almost whispered it “Not to me, not to Gawain and not to that boy over there.”

He moved his eyes away from you when he heard you say that, he swallowed the lump in his throat. All his life he was taught that he was demon born, that he needed salvation…

And hearing you say that you didn’t think of him as a monster felt as if some of that weight had been taken off of his shoulders.

You could sense by the silence that he was reacting to your statement. And when you tried to look at his face he tilted his head. You wanted to lighten the mood “You’re a person to me. An annoying one at times, but definitely a person.” Another second of silence passed before he spoke.

“I feel the same way about you.” He jested and you knew by the sound of his voice that he was smirking.

Your mouth fell open, realising that he had just turned your own words against you. You snapped your head, now glaring at him and he was definitely smirking.

“You’re such a git !” You shook your head and turned to lay against the tree on your side facing away from him. You groaned and rolled your eyes when you heard him chuckle at your response.

It wasn’t long until you fell asleep, exhaustion carried you into a deep slumber. He looked over his shoulder but couldn’t see your face. He could only hear your slow steady breathing and concluded that you had fallen asleep. Even though he tried to keep his focus on the forest or on the boy sleeping close to the fire, he felt it wander to the sound of your breathing. It sounded so calm that he felt himself relax at it as well. And as much as he tried to fight the alluring embrace of sleep, his eyes grew heavy.

He did not win that fight.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You awake at dawn and realise something isn’t quite right. The journey to the safe place proves harder then you expected. Lancelot and Percival decide to step in, much to your dismay.

It must have happened in your sleep.  
When you awoke the first thing you noticed was how the tree you fell asleep against felt different. The next thing you noticed was that it _moved._ Your eyes flew open.  
Your eyes widened when you figured out you must have stirred in your sleep as were now using Lancelot as a pillow. The silence in the forest was painfully noticeable as you silently panicked over the fact that you had been sleeping against him. You couldn’t believe it had happened, and that it somehow had not awoken him. It also conflicted you when you thought about how comfortable it had felt. For someone so intimidating he was an oddly soft ’ _pillow_ ’.  
You prayed he wasn’t awake and had not noticed as you carefully got up.  
It seemed it had not interrupted his sleep.  
Thank the gods.

  
  


  
But Lancelot had been awake moments before you awoke. When he realised what had happened he remained completely still as to not wake you. When he had first awoke he had felt the weight against him. But he had never expected it to be you, sleeping solidly against him. One of your hands rested on his chest, your breath steady as you slept peacefully. The first minute he felt frozen in place, thinking about a way to handle this without alarming you. He weighed his options. Even though he had helped you, he knew that waking you in this situation could give you quite a fright.  
So he remained still and made sure not to touch you as he waited for you to wake up.  
After another minute he felt himself relax more, your steady breathing almost causing him to fall asleep _again_. He wondered how it was even possible for him to get into this situation in the first place. How had he not felt you stir last night ? Had he truly let his guard down around someone this much ? Why did he have the strange desire to brush the stray hair from your face with his fingers ? Maybe ? No. No, that would be a _terrible_ idea. He banished the thought the moment it tried to nest itself within him. He tried to keep his breathing under control. Calm, in the hopes that you would just move off of him again. He knew he’d have to wait until you awoke before he could move and thankfully, not soon after it looked like you were waking up. He found himself silently wishing that you had stayed asleep just a little while longer. You had once appeared to be sleeping peacefully but it was the moment your hand was raised from his chest that he knew.

_You were awake._

_  
_He pretended to be still asleep, an attempt to make the situation less… awkward.  
And felt how you carefully moved away from him.  
Truth be told, he thought you would react differently. Perhaps even started to shout at him, but you did not.  
It seemed that both of you were caught off-guard by the whole thing.  
As you moved away from him and stood up, he caught himself missing the warmth that radiated from you against him.

You brushed the soil and grass from your clothes as you stood up and walked away from him. Trying to fight back the anxious feeling that was coursing through your veins. Your mind wandered as you walked to the boy to wake him up. Thankfully he had not woken up and seen you almost tangled with Lancelot. You brushed a hand over your face, wanting to slap yourself for your mistake. Why did you have to fall asleep against the same tree as him ? How had it felt so comfortable ? How had it felt so safe to sleep against him that you had not awoken sooner ? 

You clutched your abdomen,wincing when you felt how sore the bruises felt as you bend down to wake the boy.

“Percival ?” You gently shook the boy’s shoulder.

The boy lifted his head up but kept his eyes mostly closed “What ?”

You snorted at the boy’s tone, he was not a morning person that much was clear “It’s dawn.”

The boy pulled your jacket further over his head and proceeded to ignore your further attempts to make him get up.

After another minute you groaned in defeat.

“Get up, boy. It’s time we left.” Lancelot’s voice sounded close to you and you almost fell over as it caught you off-guard.

He grabbed hold of your arm when he saw you stumble backwards, giving you an amused but apologetic look. Then Lancelot reached down and plucked your jacket from the boy and handed it back to you.

“You almost scared me to death !” You stammered as your heart still raced from almost falling.

“Don’t be ridiculous, I wasn’t even able to do that when I held a sword to your throat in your own home.” He almost rolled his eyes at your exaggeration.

At that the boy sat up, wide awake “You did what ?!”

Both your attention snapped to the boy, remembering that the boy was unaware of that fact.

You sighed deeply before glaring at Lancelot “Well done. Have fun explaining it to the boy.”

You smiled arrogantly at him before walking away.

The boy looked at him expectantly and he knew he would have to explain it all to the boy.

And he did.

Not long after you had awoken you felt hungry. You couldn’t remember the last time you had had a decent meal. You strolled around the forest a little, but stayed close to the others, in search for something edible. You spotted an apple tree, and hurried over to it. It looked like others had already harvested the apples but you still found two that were left. You took them and handed one to Percival who eagerly accept it from you.

“Thank you !” He beemed, taking a bite before he muttered “I’m starving…”

Now you wished you had had the time to grab some food from Mirstone before you had left “You’re welcome.”

You approached Lancelot as he was readying Goliath for the journey ahead. He looked at you curiously as you stopped next to him. Then you held the apple out to him, and nodded for him to take it. He hesitated to accept the apple, stunned that you would consider giving him one at all. A sigh left your lips “Just take it, you clearly need it more then I do. And… consider it a small thank you. I know it’s not much but-”

Lancelot slowly reached out and took the apple from your hand, his fingers unintentionally brushing against yours as he did “Thank you.” A soft smile grew on your face and you nodded, glad he had accepted the small sign of your gratitude towards him. As you turned to leave, he called out to you.

“Wait…”

You turned back to look at him and watched as he used his sword to cut the apple in half before he holds out the other half to you. You stepped closer again and took the piece of apple from him, it crossed your mind that this man had showed you more kindness in the few days you had spend with him then your brother had showed you in your entire life.

“Thank you, Lancelot.” You were a bit baffled.

He gave a nod before turning his attention back to Goliath. You turned and walked away to the river stream, unaware that Lancelot was discreetly staring at you.

OooooOOoooOOOoOOoOOOooOooOO

Percival was seated on the horse as Lancelot held the reins making sure the boy would not take off on his own and guided them in the direction you had given him earlier. You and Lancelot walked the rest of the way to give Goliath some rest.

You tried to hide the pain you felt, tried to ignore it even. But after three hours of walking you almost tripped over a rock on the ground and groaned in pain as you clutched your abdomen.

It drew their attention immediately.

“Y/n ? What’s wrong ?” The boy quickly dismounted Goliath to run to you, grabbing onto your arm.

You shook your head “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. We just have to go past the river…” You looked at Lancelot to see if he was listening. He was and you continued “…walk until we see the large rocks. We will find tunnels there that will lead us to a safe place.” If something happened to you, they would know where to go now.

The boy wasn’t aware that you had given him the directions just in case, you didn’t want to worry him. But Lancelot understood why you had just explained it, he was _very_ aware now that you had indeed been hurt worse by the Huntsman than he had previously assumed.

Percival looked at Lancelot, as if they were silently communicating.

The boy nodded and Lancelot spoke “Goliath will be rested by now, y/n.”

You quirked a brow “Okay ?”

He then knew he would have to be more clear “Get on the horse.”

Even though it sounded like a good idea, you still felt guilty that the boy or Lancelot in his wounded state would have to walk.

“No. I’ll be fine. Just… let the boy ride.” You waved your hand, dismissing the invitation.

“I can walk.” The boy stated stubbornly.

Letting out a sigh you gestured to Lancelot “You ride then, you’re far more wounded then I am.”

He tilted his head, letting out a breath from frustration before he walked towards you.

You noticed the determination in his eyes and started to protest “No, just… I’m fine ! It’s just the bruises feeling sore, I’ll walk !”

He stopped right in front of you and he was intimidating like this “You can either climb on it yourself, or I can help you.”

He left no room for discussion.

Part of you was rather curious what his version of ‘help’ would include.

You glared at him, annoyed by his bossy attitude.

Still, you yielded. You knew his version of help would be along the lines of throwing you over his shoulder and getting you on the horse that way. That is what you assumed by the look he was giving you.

“Fine. But if any of you get tired, then we will switch.” You caved in and brushed past him to the horse.

He quickly but carefully wrapped a hand around your upper arm, stopping you in place.

You send him an inquiring look and saw how he looked nervous.

He knew it was a risky question, but his concern was now greater then his fear “Do you want me to look at your injuries, y/n. Maybe…maybe I could help.”

“No.” You squeeked the answer, clearly not expecting the question “No, but thank you.”

He immediately let go off your arm and gave a nod, he had expected the answer. He gave a understanding nod and gestured to Goliath. You walked a little quicker to the horse now. It had been easier when he had pulled you on the horse at Mirstone, now you could feel the formed bruises far worse. After two failed attempts to mount Goliath, he stepped in. Lancelot stopped you from trying again on your own. You looked at him curiously and then he carefully and slowly, took one of your hands and placed it on his shoulder.

“Put your foot in the stirrup.”

It took you a solid two seconds to realise he was going to help you up.

You nodded and did as he asked, you tightened your grip on his shoulder.

He placed a hand below your elbow “Ready ?”

You gave a short nod “Yes.”

Then you used all your strength to pull yourself into the saddle, using his shoulder to push yourself up higher so your sore abdomen and back did not take all the burden from the action. You had almost succeeded when a sharp sting of pain went through your abdomen.

You would have fallen had he not grabbed hold of your hip and leg and pushed you on Goliath that way. And by doing so, his hand had accidentally also touched your bottom. As soon as Lancelot realised where his hand had wandered he felt heat rise to his cheeks. His hand had landed a bit higher then intended when he had to stop you from falling down.

You had felt it but decided not to mention it. It was an accident and he was helping you. You cleared your throat, focusing on the reins in your hand “Thank you, Lancelot.”

Lancelot didn’t dare look at your face, what would you think if you saw him blushing ? He gave a quick nod before walking ahead of you and Percival.

Percival watched with a raised brow and then looked up at you “Did he just touch your-”

Lancelot stopped in his tracks when he heard what the boy was going to say.

“My leg, yes. We should continue our journey, we should arrive there quite some time before the sun goes down.” You quickly interrupted the boy.

Lancelot was grateful for the interruption, this was not a question he would have liked to answer.

He silently proceeded to guide the both of you through the forest, heading in the direction you had given him earlier.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The stories about the tunnels were just that. Stories. At least that was what you were led to believe. Upon entering the tunnels, the three of you soon begin to realise that those stories might just be true. And the tunnels that lead to the safe place might not be so safe to pass through.

Luckily you reached the large rock formation that reached to the sky long before dark.

“There should be an entrance around here. It will lead us into the tunnels inside of the rocks.” You explained to Lancelot who then proceeded to search the large rock formation for the entrance.

After a few minutes he stopped, he had found the entrance “It’s here.” The boy hurried to his side to see what it looked like. 

You nodded and went to try and dismount Goliath, but Lancelot must have expected you to do so as he was already approaching. You rolled your eyes when you saw him approach “I’m fine. I can get off the horse myself.”

“That’s not what worries me, y/n. What worries me is _how_ you will get off the horse. I doubt you’ll land on your feet.” He stopped next to you, voice dripping with sarcasm.

You glared down at him, feeling stubborn and defiant “I will dismount this horse myself.”

Lancelot clearly didn’t like to hear it, but he stepped aside a little anyway as he kept a watchful eye.

You moved your leg over the horse, swallowing the pain you felt in your abdomen. But then you felt your foot slip in the stirrup and the pain in your abdomen made you unable to grab onto the saddle in time. You yelped as you felt yourself slip and fall.

But he had seen it happen, he feared it would happen. He was too late to stop you from falling so all that he could do was catch you.

And he did.

You awaited the impact of pain but instead you felt yourself fall against something soft. It took you a second to realise that ’ _something_ ’ was Lancelot. He moved a hand beneath your knees, balancing you in his arms and moved so your foot untangled from the stirrup.

The fall had slammed the air from your lungs, but being catched by him was what made it hard to breathe the air back in.

He seemed as suprised as you were, he held onto you for a second longer “Can you stand ?”

You had no idea “Yes.”

He gave a short nod before lowering your legs to the ground so you could stand.

You immediately took a step back, still processing how you had been so close to him so suddenly “Uhm…thank you, Lancelot.”

He blinked twice before nodding and gesturing to you “Uhm… are you sure you can you walk ?”

You started walking backwards in the direction of the tunnel entrance “I think so. Yes.”

Another nod and he walked past you to the tunnel entrance.

The fact that your heart was hammering in your chest was something you choose to blame on almost hitting the ground. You approached him and Percival, the boy looked up at you with concerned eyes.

“Are you sure you’re alright, y/n ?” The concern was even audible in his voice.

“Don’t worry about me, Percival. It hurts, but the pain will go away in time.” You replied truthfully. The boy seemed content with your answer.

Lancelot had heard about this place, these tunnels before. And until now he had always avoided them “I have heard of these tunnels. Father told us to never go near them. It is said those who enter never find there way out again…”

Lancelot remembered the warnings he had gotten about this place. He hadn’t dared to go and find out before, and neither had Father for that matter. The Red Paladins had avoided this place like the plague and now he was standing in the entrance, looking at the old fey symbols carved and painted into the walls.

You shrugged your shoulders as you stood next to him “It’s just stories. We have to go through them if we want to reach the safe place.”

Percival pointed to a symbol on the rock wall “Aren’t these directions ?”

The boy went further into the tunnels to inspect it and then a wooden torch, inside of the metal sconce attached to the wall, ignited on it’s own. The boy stepped back in suprise and both you and Lancelot stared at the torch now illuminating the dark entrance.

Lancelot turned to you, a look of silent alarm gracing his features “Was this mentioned in those stories ?”

“Not that I recall.” You replied alarmed as well.

Lancelot took a deep breath before he went to see what the boy was looking at. The walls were covered in all sorts of symbols, some were carved into the rock, other were painted onto them very long ago. These tunnels were old, very old.

You went to stand next to them and looked at the rock wall. It was covered in images portraying human like figures. But all of them looked as if the paint was purposely smudged, they were all blurry.

“Look here !” Percival pointed at a symbol.

Lancelot looked proudly at the boy’s find “Those are indeed directions, good find. These tunnels must lead to somewhere important for the fey.”

“See, nothing bad is going to happen. Why else would the fey carve these symbols leading through the tunnels ?” You tried to convince yourself just as much as you tried to convince them.

Percival looked up at Lancelot and shrugged his shoulders, clearly agreeing with what you had said.

Lancelot let out a breath and nodded “Alright, we’ll follow the directions then.”

He and the boy walked in front of you and after a couple of feet another torch ignited as the other behind you extinguished. All of you whipped your heads around to look at the darkness behind you now.

“That’s unsettling.” Lancelot commented and he found himself hoping the paladins were wrong about this place and that it was indeed safe.

“Yes, it is.” You pushed away the strange feeling you were starting to feel, blaming it on your fear of dark narrow spaces.

“What ? Are you two scared of the dark or something ?” The boy jested making you both turn to him.

The boy shrugged his shoulders and started walking again.

“He’ll be the death of us.” Lancelot whispered to you before walking back to the entrance and out of the tunnels for a moment and returning with Goliath behind him. You let him pass with the horse in the narrow space. Then he went to walk besides the boy.

You walked not far behind them, leaving some room between you and the horse just in case. The tunnels weren’t cold as you had expected them to be, they were strangely warm. Percival seemed to enjoy making up all sorts of scary stories about these tunnels to unnerve Lancelot and he talked loud enough for you to hear as well. The paladins feared this place, and you knew Lancelot must have been taught to fear it as well. After a few minutes of walking and looking at the carvings in the walls it was as if the atmosphere started to change. Sounds started to sound different to your ears. One quick look at Percival and Lancelot told you they did not notice something was… _different_. You ignored the strange feeling and continued to follow them.

_“Y/n…”_

You stopped dead in your tracks when you heard your voice being called. It sounded distorted, yet so familiar. You listened, waiting to see if you would hear it again. Neither Lancelot or Percival had noticed that you had stopped as they proceeded to walk ahead. You worried you would end up in the darkness if the torch close to you flickered out. One step, that was all you took before you heard it again.

“ _Y/n…”_

This time the voice was clearer and other sounds started to fade out. The air felt warmer and heavier but you noticed none of it. That voice.. you knew that voice…

You had not heard it in years but you would always recognise _her_ voice.

_Your sister’s voice._

_Magnolia’s voice._

You breathed heavily, why were you hearing her voice ?

The others walked ahead, their voices faded out. It no longer worried you, why would you be afraid ?

_Your sister was here._

Then the fire from the torch close to you flickered out as you walked into another tunnel leading away from them and towards the voice that drew you in.

The voice lured you further and further away from them, and after a few minutes it started to distort again.

“Magnolia ?” You called out, when the tunnels went eerily silent “Mags ?”

_“Y/n…”_

A voice called out to you but this time you felt your blood run cold. It had come from close behind you. You felt frozen to the spot, but you were starting to shake violently. This was not the voice of your sister. This was the voice of your _brother_. You felt sheer panic as you slowly turned around, this couldn’t be happening…

And then you were face to face again with Draegan, you gasped for air.

“You’re not real…” You were breathing so fast you felt faint.

“Oh, little sister. I am real.” Draegan took a step closer.

“You’re dead ! You’re gone !” You almost shouted it at him.

He laughed menancingly “I’m not gone, little sister. I am always with you. My blood runs through your veins.”

“NO! STAY AWAY FROM ME !” You screamed but then the words died in your throat when you saw something happen.

There was blood spreading all over his abdomen, just like it had done that night you had killed him “You’re just like me, little sister. There’s blood on your hands now, can you see it ?”

You shook your head in shock and then you felt it, there was something on your hands. You lifted them up to look at them and saw that they were covered in blood, just as they had been after you had killed him. You held them out in front of you, not wanting them near you.

“First mine and then the fey’s.” He mocked as he stepped closer “It is only a matter of time.”

“NO!” Tears rolled down your face as he spoke the fears you had about yourself out loud.

He started to walk towards you and you ran, you ran through the tunnels until you were out of breath. You kept looking around you to see if he would show up again.

_How was this happening ?_

OoooOOOoooOOOoOOoOOOooOooOO

Lancelot whipped his head around, stopping in his tracks, as did Percival. Your screams had echoed through the tunnels far enough and loud enough for them to hear. He was instantly alarmed and his heartbeat spiked at the sound. It was then he realised you were no longer following them. He couldn’t even see you.

“Where is she ?! Where is, y/n ?!” Percival was visibly panicking.

Lancelot pulled out his sword, realising right away that you were in trouble “I thought she was behind us. Behind Goliath…”

This was bad, the tunnels led to many different directions and the echo bounced off of the walls making it impossible to locate where it was coming from precissely. At first he panicked but did not show it to the boy, then he heard the whispers call to him. The whispers he had heard many times in his life, the ones he was taught to ignore. But now they called to him loudly, it was incomprehensible but he knew they would lead him to something in these tunnels. And he hoped that _‘something’_ would be you. He handed the reins to Percival “Follow me, stay close to me !”

He spoke hastly before walking in the direction the whispers called him to.

OooOOOOoooOOOoOOoOOOooOooOO

You were terrified, what the hell was happening ?!? You tried to control your breathing as the adrenaline coursed through your veins. How could he be here ? You had killed him. The air felt pressing now, as if it was crushing your lungs. It was as if a fog was present in the tunnels and you could have sworn that the paintings on the walls _moved_. You felt sick, was Draegan here to kill you ? The panic pressed on your chest and it was getting hard to breath. You felt like you were going to pass out and closed your eyes, leaning against the wall. But then…

“ _Y/n..”_


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tunnel’s hold on you becomes stronger as it pushes you towards insanity. Percival and Lancelot begin to understand why the stories claimed that those who enter the tunnels never leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Uh… angst…? Gore ?

Your eyes snapped open at the voice, the soft sound of it brought back many memories.

“Magnolia ?” You couldn’t believe your eyes as she stood before you as if she hadn’t aged a day since you had last seen her. Was she really here ? How could they be here ??

She stepped closer to you, her eyes filled with concern “Y/n…what’s wrong ?”

“I am lost…I am scared. Draegan is here…” A tear fell from your eyes.

Magnolia smiled the cute toothy grin she always had “Don’t be scared, y/n. Be brave.”

“How are you here ? You..you died.. I couldn’t… I couldn’t say goodbye…” You flung your arms around her and hugged her tightly against you.

Magnolia did not answer your question “I love you, y/n. I will _always_ be with you, I’ll keep you safe.” Magnolia stroked your hair as she always did when she hugged you.

“I love you too, Mags.” You smiled through the tears as you called her by her nickname.

You felt at peace, then your brow drew together as she had become silent suddenly. You pulled back to look at her face and saw that her eyes did not look right. They looked lifeless.

“Magnolia ?” You asked worried and then you saw it.

Blood was all over her chest, running down to her stomach. Staining her clothes in a dark crimson that almost looked black. Just like the night you had found her in the forest. She collapsed in your arms and you sank with her to your knees under the sudden weight. 

“MAGNOLIA ?! NO! HELP ?! SOMEBODY HELP !! PLEASE ?!” You screamed in agony as you held her lifeless body in your lap.

“Please no, please, please… I’m sorry please don’t leave me again please..”

You brushed her hair from her face, cupping her face in your hand. You closed your eyes when you accepted that it was no use and sobbed loudly as you kept her in your arms. After a moment you felt that the weight was gone and you quickly opened your eyes. She was gone. You were on your hands and knees as you scanned your surroundings. She was gone again. Lost again. You hugged your arms around your chest not able to stop the sobs coming from you. Tears were flooding form your eyes, was this hell ? Would you ever see a living soul again ??? Was anything real ?? You jumped to your feet when you heard hurried footsteps coming from around the corner. You held your breath for what horrors you would face next.

“Y/n ?” A familiar voice called out to you. You spun around, expecting another dead person to haunt you.

OoooOOOoOOoOOOOooOOOOooOOOOOOOoOooOo

Lancelot froze when he saw you, when he saw the tears streaming from your eyes. You looked at him as if you were seeing a spirit. He noticed how afraid you looked, how you didn’t seem completely aware of reality.

“Y/n ?” He said again, far more alarmed now.

The boy stayed at a distance, having seen how strange you were behaving “It’s these tunnels ! It’s doing this to her ! She’s not a fey. She must be hallucinating !”

Lancelot finally understood what was happening, these tunnels were made to protect the fey, not man-bloods. This was what the stories warned about, but they were not just stories. They were a harsh reality and it was affecting you. He slowly approached you, reaching a hand out to you as he did “It’s alright, y/n.. calm down..”

You stepped backwards and shook your head. You were shaking badly, feeling like you were trapped in a circle of hell “You’re not real..” After all that, you did not believe he was actually there. This was just another trick to torment you.

His brows drew together at your words but he kept getting closer to you “I am real, y/n. These tunnels are distorting your reality.”

You closed your eyes, putting your hands over your ears and kept repeating “It’s not real. It’s not real. It’s not real..”

Lancelot wondered what sort of things you must have seen to be in such a state.

“Y/n, look at me. Take my hand. You will see I’m real.” He said firmly, attempting to get your attention to him.

You dared to open your eyes, and shakily reached out your hand to the one he held out to you.

_What if this wasn’t real ? Would you ever see a real person again ?_

Your fingers touched his hand. You felt it. You felt that his skin was warm, and you grasped his hand. It felt real and you let out a sob. You took one big step and wrapped your arms around him, you clung to him as if you were clinging to your last bit of sanity. Fearing that if you would let go, he would disappear and something evil might take his place “Please be real… please be real..” You continued to whimper in despair.

Lancelot had no idea how to react to the situation now, your voice was laced with fear and sorrow. You sounded so lost, lost in whatever horrible hallucination you were experiencing before he found you here. Percival looked at him suprised, but he could see that the boy was sad to see you like this as well. It was just as painful for the boy as it was for him to hear how lost you sounded, to see you cry. He slowly put a hand on your back, you were clinging to him but he worried how you would react to this when you would finally regain your senses. Lancelot’s was calm, hoping that it would help you calm down as well “Y/n, you’re safe. Don’t be afraid." 

When he felt how badly you were shaking he timidly brought his hand up and placed it on the back of your head. He had no real experience in comforting others, all he could do was hope that his actions would pull you out of your distraught state. A moment went by before he brushed his fingers against your hair in a soothing matter. He looked over at percival who remained at a distance, he could see that the boy was fighting the urge to come nearer. Both of them feared what would happen if another person got closer to you, what if it made things worse ?

It took a while before you started to calm down, all the while you did not let go off him. It was the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed and the soft brushing of his fingers on the back of your head that slowly brought you back to your senses. The warmth radiating from him felt _**very**_ real. And he was not disappearing from your grasp. The combination of that was what broke the tunnels hold on you. And when it did, you stopped sobbing, eyes widening when you realised what you were doing. First you had wanted nothing more for this to be real, but now you started to silently panic. Oh gods, were you.. were you really hugging _him_ ?

It was your hands patting his back as if you were testing something that made him aware that you had come to your senses. His hand stilled instantly. Would he… would he have to step away ? Was that a good idea or should he wait until you acted yourself ?

Both of you seemed to struggle with that dilemma. This was awkward…

You decided to speak up, it was you that got yourself into this awkward situation after all "Uhm…I..”

He was now silently panicking as well, what should he do ??

“You were hallucinating..” He stammered the words.

And with that you quickly let go off him and stepped away “I…these…the tunnels they messed with my mind.” You gestured to your head and then to him.

A long pause followed.

“Clearly.” Pecival was looking at you with wide eyes “Why else would you hug him ?”

Lancelot resisted the urge to glare at the boy for the hidden insult.

You wondered why it was that hugging him made you calm down. But when you came to your senses you were feeling another sort of unease.

You felt terribly nervous “Precisely ! We…uh… should get out of this place. Before it starts to mess with me again.”

The boy walked over to you, shoving Goliath’s reins back into Lancelot’s hands, before taking your hand with his “Better not get lost again, y/n. Don’t want him to think you like him or something.”

You forced a small smile and avoided looking at Lancelot.

“You two walk ahead of me, or we might never leave this place.” Lancelot told you, his voice sounded strange. Melancholic almost.

You nodded and actually send him a soft smile. He only gave a short nod as he averted his eyes, focusing on the reins in his hands and you swallowed hard. You now regretted for acting like hugging him was a bad thing only because you felt embarrassed. You removed your hand from Percival’s and told the boy “Wait here just a moment…”

Percival quirked a brow but shrugged his shoulders.

Lancelot send you an inquisitive look as you walked up to him, he opened his mouth to speak but was silenced when you wrapped your arms around him again. For a moment he feared the tunnels were affecting you again “Y/n ?”

You pulled him closer to you, feeling how he tensed up the moment you had embraced him. You let your head rest against his chest. You needed him to realise that you didn’t hate him, that he wasn’t a monster or unworthy of human contact or touch. You almost whispered against his chest “I’m sorry, Lancelot. Embracing you was what freed me from this place’s hold. It made me feel safe…because I trust you.” you took a deep breath “..Thank you.”

He drew a shuddering breath, realising how he had longed to hear those words from you. You finally trusted him and now you were embracing him. Not because the tunnels were messing with your mind, but out of _your own free will_. He relaxed in your embrace, no one had held him like this for as long as he could remember. And the fact that it was you doing so made him feel elated.

“If only you would hug me back so it doesn’t look like I’m being weird…” You whispered very quietly against him, more to yourself.

A smile tugged at his lips when he could hear it, he could feel you start to tense up. Lancelot knew you were getting uneasy because of his lack of response and he brought up his hand, placing it between your shoulders as he moved you just a little closer to him again. Having you so close to him made him aware that you smelled _good_. He closed his eyes for a second, resisting the desire to hold you more tightly. It felt as if something inside of him was being restored, but there was also something new growing inside of him. Something he couldn’t place.

“Is she hallucinating again ?” Percival interrupted Lancelot’s peaceful train of thought.

You snorted at the boy’s comment and moved away from Lancelot “No. Not at all. I am very much in my mind right now.”

“Are you sure ?” The boy quirked a brow, having a hard time believing that.

You narrowed your eyes at the boy “Percival. I am not hallucinating. I know you two are real.”

“Weird…” The boy scrunched his nose and quietly commented even more confused, his attention went to the drawings on the wall now.

You were very aware that Lancelot had helped you more then he realised in these tunnels. You felt incredibly grateful and felt like just thanking him was not enough. He had saved you from those horrors, the hug was not enough. Perhaps it was to him, but not to you.

And what happened next caught him completely off-guard.

He had felt how your fingers landed on his jaw and had tilted his head, before he could react you had pressed your lips to his cheek.

He felt rooted to the spot.

It was a quick peck on the cheek out of gratitude and you let go off him immediately after.

“Thank you for coming to find me.” You spoke hastly before walking back to the boy who had been to busy staring at the wall to see it happen.

Lancelot’s eyes were blown wide, it happened so fast he almost thought it was a figment of his imagination. He felt a tingling sensation go down his neck and spine.

You and the boy had already started walking again but stopped when you didn’t hear Lancelot follow with Goliath.

“Please, don’t tell me you’re hallucinating too !” Percival called out to Lancelot.  
If he didn’t know these tunnels were safe for fey, Lancelot might have believed that to be true.

Finally he started to follow you and the boy as he tried to get his breathing under control again.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally arrive at the safe place but when you step out out of the tunnels it appears it isn’t exactly safe for Lancelot to do so as well.

The boy was adamant not to let you out of his sight as you travelled through the tunnels. Lancelot followed close behind the two of you, his hand resting on his sword constantly. Then the scent reached his nostrils and with each step the scent grew stronger.

You were nearing the exit of the tunnels, you could see the sun illuminating the last bit ahead.

“Y/n.” Lancelot called out to you and you turned around to look at him.

“There are people up ahead. Fey kind.” He sounded nervous.

You knew he expected there to be trouble, the fey would not be happy to see him in their sanctuary.

“I’ll go first !” The boy stated.

“I’ll go with you.” You quickly said, before the boy would run off on his own. Then you turned to Lancelot “Stay behind me. Some people there will recognise me from when I… warned them. Let me talk to them first.”

He balanced his weight on his other leg, clearly not at ease with the situation now. He gave an affirmative nod.

You took a deep breath, placing a hand on Percival’s shoulder as you walked forward out of the tunnels and into the sunlight.

Luckily you had told Lancelot to stay behind you because the second you stepped out of those tunnels, archers jumped to their feet and took aim. They were clearly not expecting to see someone there that moment. But they had been on the lookout. You were suprised to see that you were once again standing in a forest, the large rock formations that reached the sky succesfully embraced this place. Hiding it from the world outside from which you came. A world hidden from the other. Other people were approaching now as well until there was a small crowd.

Lancelot set one step outside as well but you quickly stepped in front of him when you saw the archers react to the sight of him.

You could hear them whisper his previous title to one another. They had recognised him instantly. The boy was a few steps ahead of you and stopped when he saw the archers and the others who drew their weapons. You suddenly felt Lancelot trying to move you but you refused to move.

“Y/n, get behind me before one of those arrows hits you!” He hissed at your defiance.

You spoke lowly so only he would hear “Not happening! If I move they will kill you.” 

Then you felt him grab hold of the back of your jacket but you quickly slapped his hand away and glared at him “Don’t even try to pull me away.”

He really disliked you doing that, his jaw was tense, his eyes focused on the people ahead. Then a familiar face came forward past the others and you smiled widely when you saw who it was. You had not seen her in months, but she did not look happy with the reunion when her eyes went to Lancelot.

“Nyra…” You greeted her nervously. She was one of those people who looked intimidating but under her hard exterior she had a good heart. You had met her before, she had been leading one of the fey camps you had first helped. It appeared she was leading this place as well as the other people looked at her for instructions. Her eyes fell on the boy who looked at her with wide eyes, her armor and her markings on her body must have caused that reaction. She had once told you that each marking stood for a paladin she had killed and you did not doubt her explanation.  
She turned her attention to you “Y/n.. it is good to see you.” she tilted her head, a polite greeting and then turned her attention on Lancelot “I cannot say the same for him. Why have you brought the Weeping Monk here, y/n ?”  
You saw how Lancelot cast his eyes to the ground at the mention of his previous title before focusing on the archers again.  
It wasn’t easy shielding him from the arrows aimed at him but you still tried your best “I know that what I am about to ask of you is a big favor.”  
Her eyes narrowed, silently guessing what you were about to ask of her.  
You took a deep breath, readying yourself “Back when I helped your camp escape my brother, you told me that if I ever needed help, you would help me. I never wanted to take you up on that offer but I fear I have no other choice. The three of us are seeking refugee.”  
“I said I would help you, y/n. Not the Weeping Monk.” She reminded you, looking at Lancelot with great suspicion and a hint of fear.  
“If you send him away, I will not stay here either. This man…” You looked at him over your shoulder before turning back to Nyra “…Lancelot saved my life. He saved Percival’s life.”

You put a hand on the boy’s back “The Huntsman is dead. And if Lancelot had not helped me, my brother would have killed me. And he would have sold the boy to the Red Paladins.”  
Nyra raised a brow and her eyes widened in suprise “The Huntsman is dead ? _He_ killed the Huntsman ?”  
You swallowed thickly, thinking back to what you had faced in the tunnels “My brother found out that I was helping the fey and that Lancelot had helped us escape the paladin camp. He… threatened my life. Lancelot fought him… but _I killed him_..”  
Nyra was thinking about your words. You could see her deciding about his fate, about _your_ fate.  
“Did he suffer ?” She asked you expectantly.  
You furrowed your brow but understood why she had asked, your brother had done terrible things to the fey.  
“For a couple of minutes, before y/n…” Lancelot answered the question for you. And it was audible that he sounded pleased with that fact.

She had noticed how pleased he sounded that the Huntsman had at least suffered at his hands.  
“And now you’ve come here to seek sanctuary among us, the three of you ?” She asked for clarification.  
Lancelot could see Nyra’s hesitation and knew it was because you insisted that he would be allowed to stay as well. This would be the perfect place for you and the boy to stay, man-blood would never be able to pass through the tunnels safely. No paladin would set foot here, no one of the church would. He couldn’t let you give up your place here only because they wouldn’t welcome him here. And as much as he hated to do this, he had to let you go.  
You felt Lancelot touch your arm and turn you just a little, he leaned towards you to talk to you “Do not refuse their offer if they offer only you and the boy sanctuary here.”  
You scoffed and spoke just loud enough for him to hear “Oh, so _now_ you would leave me alone ? Really ?”  
He was ready to protest until he picked up on the sad tone in your voice that you had tried to hide under the sarcasm.  
“Y/n, you and the boy will be safe here.” He felt as if he was trying to convince himself along with you.  
“Is that really what you want ?” The sarcasm was gone, and the sad undertone that you had tried to hide was clearly audible now.  
He fell silent and swallowed. Weeks ago you had made it very clear that you wanted him to leave you alone, and now you sounded upset at the idea of him leaving.  
“If you’re not staying, I’m not staying either.” Percival suddenly said with a look of determination in his eyes.  
His eyes snapped to the boy “Percival-”  
The boy got visibly upset “What ? What are they going to do, keep me locked up ? I’ll go back through those tunnels, you’re not going to get rid of me just like that ! The Green Knight believed in you, he wouldn’t want you to go. You’re one of us !”  
Nyra quickly spoke, shocked at the news “The Green Knight ? YOU are fey ?”  
She sounded like she did not believe it so you reacted by picking a leaf up from the ground and taking Lancelot’s hand before he realised what you were doing.  
You held the leaf against his skin and the pattern of leaves started to cover his whole hand.  
Those close enough to see, gasped at the sight.  
Nyra’s eyes went to you now “How ?”  
“It’s a long story, Nyra. The Green Knight told him that all fey are brothers, even the lost ones. He is not lost, Nyra. He is here now, with his people. Not with those who raised him to believe he is a manifestation of evil.”  
You saw her falter as she thought about your words “Please, Nyra. Gawain had faith in him. I have faith in him. Your people _need_ him. The fey need everyone they can get.”  
Finally Nyra gave a quick nod “I will allow it. See this as my way of repaying you for saving our people.”  
You breathed in relief at her answer, forgetting that you were still holding Lancelot’s hand with yours.

“But if I believe him to be a threat, I will not show mercy.” Nyra warned, looking you in the eyes. She was serious.

“I mean you no harm, nor anyone else here.” Lancelot replied truthfully to her warning.

You looked at him for a second and only then you let go off his hand when you realised you were still holding it with yours.

She looked him up and down with doubt before she beckoned for the three of you to follow her, the people stepped aside as you walked past them.

You followed her through the forest “Where are we going ?”

Nyra actually smiled at that question “I am showing you the way to your new home. It is not far.”

“How do you two know each other ?” Lancelot kept his distance from Nyra, not wanting her to feel threatened any more then she perhaps already was.

She didn’t look at him as she answered his question “We met one night when y/n came to warn my camp. The rain was ruthless that night, she was soaked to the bone when she arrived. I told her about this place while some of her clothes dried by the fire.”

Lancelot looked at you and you nodded, confirming that the story was true.

“Your camp ?” He was interested in that, especially after how you had always stubbornly refused to give any information about that.

“We had a camp in the South, the people from the camp in the North are here too.” Nyra explained.

He had found the camp in the South abandoned months ago, and now he knew why. Lancelot looked at you and went to walk closer beside you, he took hold of your arm, slowing you down a little to talk quietly so Nyra would not hear “The camp in the North ? The one I asked you about weeks ago, and you pretended you did not know what I was talking about ?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” You wanted to sound casual but failed when you saw his expression, you knew he didn’t believe you.

He knew you were lying then and you were still trying to deny it. Lancelot wasn’t angry about it, not at all. But he wanted you to admit that you had helped the fey in the North as well. He was curious just how many lives you had saved like this. He gently pulled your arm, making you walk closer to him.

You rolled your eyes, you knew he wasn’t going to let this topic go just yet “What ?”

Then he leaned in close to your ear so Nyra would not hear “ _Did_ you warn the camp in the North, y/n ?”

You had felt his breath brush past your ear and for a moment you forgot how to form words.

He was waiting for your answer unaware of how flustered you felt now. He leaned in to whisper again but you quickly responded.

“Yes. Alright, I warned the camp in the North. What did you expect ?” You tripped over your words as you spoke hastily.

“That was what I expected all along.” He deadpanned.

You glared at him “Then why keep asking me ?”

Lancelot let out a chuckle, smirking at you “I wanted you to admit it.”

You groaned, hating how pleased he looked now. Like he had won a game.

“How are you feeling ? If you are in pain I can-” He send you a look of concern

“You’re not putting me on the horse again, Lancelot.” You would rather walk then end up in another awkward situation.

He let out an audible breath, sounding defeated.

Nyra was looking at the two of you curiously before turning to the boy and discreetly asking him “Do they always act like this around each other ?”

Percival first looked in your direction before looking up at Nyra confused “Like what ?”

Nyra’s curiousity grew the longer she watched you and Lancelot interact, she looked down to answer the boy “Like they are in-”

“Is that where we will live now ?” The boy interrupted her as he pointed to the houses up ahead.

She was not given another chance to finish her sentence “Yes.”


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nyra guides the three of you to your new home. When she speaks to you in private she mentions something that you also worry about.

The people stared when the three of you walked into the town. The place looked like a village. It looked far better then Mirstone even. All homes were made of stone, some houses were larger then others. It was very diverse. Your eyes went wide when you walked past, what looked like, a pub.

Everyone seemed to be going around doing their normal daily business. This place was untouched by the horrors beyond the rocks.  
“The houses were here when we arrived. We only restored them a little.” Nyra explained “Fey have been living here for centuries. The forest around this place provides us with the means to survive, we even have a river. And the rock formations go around this place, the tunnels are the only entrance.

You had wanted to forget about what you had seen in the tunnels, you still didn’t truly understand what you had been through “Nyra, those tunnels, they protect the fey ?”

Nyra stopped in her tracks to look at you, she must have heared that your voice had shaken a little. A second later she looked apologetic “Our kind is safe in those tunnels, but to man-bloods…”

Lancelot and Percival were listening too, none of you had understood what had happened to you.

“What happens to those who aren’t fey ?” Lancelot’s eyes darted to you for a moment.

Nyra seemed reluctant to answer “The tunnels are there to protect us, but at a cost. Those who are not fey and wander into the tunnels perish if we do not find them quickly.”

Lancelot watched your expression change to a horrified one “The tunnels kill them ?”

Nyra nodded in silence “The tunnels…they sense guilt, fear, pain. They use it against man-bloods, making them go insane. Only those guided by fey are able to pass through them. We found out the hard way when we first came here, we had man-bloods with us, half of them disappeared in the tunnels. We had found five of them hallucinating, and three of them were busy clawing their own eyes out.

You gasped for air, remembering how lost you had felt, how afraid you had been. You took a couple of steps, turning away from them as you hugged your chest. The tunnels had fed on your worst nightmares and memories to drive you insane. You took a couple of deep breaths to calm youself down.

Lancelot watched as you distanced yourself from them to compose yourself. He had no idea what you had seen in those tunnels, but know he was certain that it was nothing good. Percival looked up to him and he nodded to the boy and then tilted his head in your direction.

Percival understood the silent communication and went up to you. The boy was hugging you before you even realised he was next to you.

Nyra send a sorrowful look at Lancelot “She was affected, wasn’t she ?”

He gave a nod and watched as the boy consoled you to the best of his abilities “She was hallucinating when we found her.”

“It’s a miracle she isn’t still hallucinating now, how did it stop ?” She asked him, knowing that he was unaware that she already knew how the hold of the tunnels can be broken.

He averted his eyes from her and watched as you and the boy approached again “I don’t really know. She came to her senses not long after she took my hand.”

He left out he part where you had hugged him, had clinged onto him for dear life.

Nyra hummed and then you and the boy joined them again.

Lancelot was looking at you, knowing that you could have died in those tunnels in such a horrifying way made him feel sick.

Nyra beckoned for you to follow again and the three of you, and Goliath, continued to walk. She finally stopped near a house, it was bigger then your tiny home in Mirstone “This one’s yours. It has only two bedchambers I’m afraid. But I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

Her eyes had flickered between you and Lancelot for a second and you sighed, why did everyone assume there was something going on between you and him ? This was getting ridiculous.

Lancelot’s eyes snapped to the ground when he had seen Nyra look at you and him like that.

You cleared your throat, wanting to break the silence “Thank you, Nyra. This is very kind of you.”

She smiled and gave a nod “Most of us would not be alive if you hadn’t helped us. It’s the least we can do for you. I do have to tell you that in this village we must all participate to care for the village. I expect you to come see me everday for a chore to be done. The boy will be expected in the building with the large door over there.”

Nyra pointed to a building nearby “The children must still be taught how to read and write properly. And he’ll get to be around people his age.”

You and Lancelot nodded in agreement, it were fair terms.

“Sounds good.” You were grateful that the boy would get a chance for a normal life and education.

“No, it doesn’t !” Percival sounded appalled at the idea of having to learn in a room filled with other children.

Lancelot nudged the boy’s shoulder, before speaking to Nyra “He’ll be there. Thank you. For everything.

The boy cussed under his breath.

You took a step in the direction of the house, curious what it would look like inside when a sharp pain went through your abdomen. You had almost forgotten about the bruises and you buckled over, clutching your stomach.

Their attention shot to you right away, the boy ran up to to support you.

“You’re hurt.” Nyra concluded “You should go to the infirmary, let our healer see if they can help.”

You stubbornly shook you’re head “It’s just bruises. He’s hurt far worse then I am.”

Nyra watched as you gestured in Lancelot’s direction “I fear our healer will not want to help him, y/n. But they will help you.”

Lancelot saw how you were being stubborn about this and he tried to persuade you “Go with Nyra to the infirmary, y/n. I will be alright. You’ve already helped me, let them help you now.”

He breathed in relief when you nodded and Nyra walked you in the direction of the infirmary.

OoooOOOoooOOOoOOoOOOooOooOO

Nyra started to speak to you when Lancelot and Percival were out of sight as you walked with her to the infirmary.

"I can’t believe that you would actually defend the Weeping Monk. I thought you hated him.” A look of disbelieve plastered on Nyra’s face as she looked at you.

“Yeah, well. If you had told me that a while ago I wouldn’t have believed it either.” You snorted.

“Even though your brother was the Huntsman, the fey still accept you after everything you have done for us. But him ? I am not sure they will ever accept him.” She sounded as worried as you were about it.

You knew you would have to defend him and explain why he was valuable to the fey “The fey need him. He is an incredible fighter, but he is smart as well. He knows how the paladins work and what information they have on your kind. Your enemy’s bravest warrior has abandoned them to help his kind.”

“What makes you so certain he will not abandon us as well ?” Nyra looked at you intensly.

It was something you had not considered yet, Lancelot could always leave if he wanted to. A pit formed in your stomach at the thought and doubt formed inside of it but you could not show that to her “He won’t.”

She looked at you a moment longer before she drew a deep breath “There is truth in your words. He is famous for his… skill. Do you trust him ?”

“I find myself trusting him. And I trust that he has no bad intentions towards you or your people.” At least that you believed. But you were still getting to know the man who was once the Weeping Monk, you were not sure if he would not just disappear one day. That he would just leave and not come back. You knew he didn’t want to harm someone, but that didn’t mean that he would actually stick around. He was struggling with his fey heritage and this might just become too much for him one day.

He was raised around man-blood, not fey kind.

Nyra stopped you in front of a small house “I hope you’re right. Here lives our healer.”

She gestured to the door and knocked. Soon the door was opened and you were greated by an older man with a big beard.

Nyra gave him a quick explanation before leaving you alone with the healer.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You return from the healer and to Lancelot’s suprise you have brought fey medicine to help him as well. You tell him what you have seen in the tunnels as you check on his wounds. Lancelot had felt strange when you had tended to his wounds in Mirstone, but his reaction to it now suprised even himself.

Percival and Lancelot had decided on sharing a room while you were gone. Another awkward conversation succesfully avoided for you.

The boy was downstairs eating as Lancelot was in their shared room examining his injuries. You had done a good job stitching him up. None of the wounds had opened again. He was glad to see it, especially because the healer of this town would not help him, which he understood. And he feared he would have to ask you to help him again. Everytime you were close to him he felt himself become nervous, the thought of you touching his skin like that again was enough for his heart to quicken it’s pace. Not even in battle had he felt his heart beat the way it did when you had helped him that night back in Mirstone. He was sitting down on the edge of one of the beds when a knock on the door pulled his attention “Yes ?”

You slowly opened the door, carrying a small wooden box in your hands “Hey…”

Even though you had seen his bare torso before you still felt the need to avert your eyes a little.

His eyes landed on your face with a look of concern “How are you feeling ?”

You send him a soft smile “Better. The healer gave me some stuff against the pain and some salves for my bruises.”

Lancelot still wondered how bad the bruises were, especially the one that had been healing until the Huntsman had kicked you again “That bruise…has it gotten worse after…”

He let the question fade out, not really willing to remind you of what happened again.

You still understood what he was asking and saw his eyes were filled with concern. You were hesitant to show him, but you had just shown the bruise to a complete stranger so why would you be afraid to show it to the person who had done so much for you already ? Someone you actually trusted ? You blamed it on feeling self-conscious “Just…I…I…think so…” finally you sighed in defeat and started to lift the hem of your shirt a little.

His expression changed before he swallowed and composed himself.

You timidly showed him the bruise that ran along your abdomen and back “The salve the healer used almost completely numbs the pain.”

Lancelot could see that the bruise was larger then it had been when he last saw it in Mirstone.

When he slowly reached out his hand and almost touched your skin you moved out of his reach and covered the bruise again. The thought of him touching your skin like this filled you with a strange anxious feeling.

He averted his eyes, mentally scolding himself for trying to touch you even if it was to check the bruise. His eyes fell on the wooden box in your hands “Good… that’s… good. What is that ?” He gestured to the box, hoping it would change the current topic.

You looked down at the box in your hands and smiled at him “Ah, well. Considering that the healer still refused to help you even after hearing me plead for an hour, I have brought salves and vials to drink against the fever and pain. The fever might be gone, but I asked for some just in case.”

He was pleasantly suprised, you had actually thought about his well-being while being hurt yourself “Thank you, y/n.”

You shrugged it off “It’s the least I can do after how you’ve helped me in the tunnels.”

“What did you see in the tunnels, y/n ?” Curiosity took the best of him and he instantly regretted it when he saw the smile disappear from your face.

“I’ll tell you if you let me examine your wounds. I should check if they aren’t infected, maybe apply some salve on them. Are they burning ?” You stepped closer to him.

Again his heart quickened at the thought of you touching his skin again.

He slowly nodded and you went to sit next to him, searching for the right items in the box.

“I saw Draegan in the tunnels, he spoke to me…told me I was a killer just like him. I’m no better then he was. And then I saw him like he was that night, covered in blood.” You spoke quietly as you checked his stitches.

Lancelot was starting to understand the horrors you had faced in the tunnels “The Huntsman enjoyed the killing, wallowed in it. You wallow in guilt. You’re nothing like him.”

Your eyes locked on his for a second before focusing on another wound.

“I saw Magnolia..” You swallowed the lump in your throat before continuing “She was just like I remembered her. So full of life, I could hug her again. But moments later I was holding her in my arms the way I had held her all those years ago, covered in blood. That’s what I saw.”

Silence fell for a moment as he thought about what to say, and you kept your focus on caring for his wounds on his arm and chest.

Finally he broke the silence “Your sister would be proud of you. Many of the people here are alive because you saved them. As she had tried to do. And now the fey have welcomed you here.”

“They welcomed _us_ here.” You corrected him.

“They welcomed _YOU_ here, y/n. You and Percival.” He was no fool, he knew you were the reason they had allowed him into this village. The reason why they had not killed him. Had you not risked it all to save the fey, neither of you would be here now.

You shook your head and looked at him “These are your people, Lancelot. In time they will accept you.”

Lancelot scoffed quietly, he doubted that “They are fey, like me. But I am certain no one here is what I am. I’ve seen Sky Folk and even Moon Wings…”

“And your people ? I mean, I have seen what other fey look like but I’ve never seen someone with…” You pointed to your own eye, and dragged your finger down over your cheek.

He understood what you were talking about “It’s the mark of the Ash Folk. They… I think I’m the last one. Father Carden took me from my kind when I was young..”

“I’m sorry…” It was all you could think of to say “So you have nothing that reminds you of them ? Not a single fey item that belonged to your family?”

He shook his head “No. I doubt Father would have allowed me to keep it if I had. And you ? Do you have something that reminds you of your family ?”

Your hand went to your neck at his question and you cussed.

He quirked a brow at you “What’s wrong ?”

“My necklace.. the one Magnolia gave me.. I left it in Mirstone..” You closed your eyes and sighed. How could you forget it ? Well, the situation had been very stressfull that night.

“I forgot all about it when I heard Draegan had returned.” You put some salve on your fingers and started to rub it unto a wound that looked red.

He took a sharp breath at the coolness of the salve, it soothed the burning sensation almost instantly.

Lancelot thought back to that night “The Huntsman was a good fighter, I’m suprised your not.”

You glared at him now before realising that it wasn’t his intention to sound insulting “I’ve never been much of a fighter. He wouldn’t allow me to learn how to fight. Made it easier for him to keep me under control.”

“You should learn it. Or at least learn to defend yourself.” He held his breath when you rubbed salve unto the wound on one of his pecs.

You laughed at the thought that someone would be so unlucky to having to teach you how to handle a sword “Who would teach me ? You’ve seen how bad I am. I don’t know of anyone who would have the patience for it.”

Lancelot was staring at you “I will. If you wish.”

You quickly shook your head, remembering the last time you had held a sword “Last time I held a sword I killed my brother.”

“You were defending yourself, y/n.” He reminded you once again “You’re nothing like the Huntsman. Learning how to handle a sword will also teach you how _not_ to handle it.”

You shrugged your shoulders and changed the topic “I’ve got this salve for the wounds on your back. You can’t tell me that those don’t hurt, Lancelot.”

He averted his eyes instantly, the wounds on his back were a painful reminder to him now.

You saw his hesitation and spoke softly, pleading with him “Please, let me help you. I don’t want you to suffer if I can help you.”

His eyes searched yours, finding only gentleness in them now. He blinked and nodded, allowing you to help him.

You went to sit on your knees behind him on the bed “Let me know when it hurts or when you need me to stop.”

He tensed, the many scars made his back one of his most vunerable places on his body. You had touched his skin before but the skin on his back was far more sensitive and he was _very_ aware of that now. He felt your fingers trace his scars as you applied the salve. You didn’t rub it unto the scars and wounds, you were gently tracing the salve on them. The sensation was so soothing that he closed his eyes for a moment as he focused on it. He had believed it would hurt, but it felt pleasant. Enjoyable even. And when you traced the salve close to the back of his neck he felt his heart quicken. He drew a sharp breath when a shiver went down his spine at the sensation.

You heard him take the sharp breath and got worried “Sorry, are you alright ?”

His voice was low and breathy “ _Please, don’t stop._ ”

It had not been his intention to say his thoughts out loud and his eyes shot open. He had felt your fingers stop the moment the words had left his mouth.

The second he had spoken, your mouth went dry. It had sounded as if he was pleading to you, you’ve never heard his voice sound like this before.

Another moment passed by and he prayed to anyone that would listen that you would not comment on it. He felt mortified. The sound of his own voice had stunned him as well, it had sounded so foreign into his ears. It was you, touching his skin, that had caused him to sound like this. He swallowed thickly, unaware that you were doing the same.

In any other occasion you would have given him a witty comment, but your mind had gone blank. You had felt something stir inside of you, something you quickly brushed away. Not knowing, or wanting to know what that feeling was or meant.

Finally he felt you start tracing the salve unto his skin again and he sighed quietly in relief.

You finished rather quickly after that, trying to ignore the strange atmosphere that hanged in the air now.

“All done.” You quickly got off the bed, almost startling him.

His eyes flickered to your face before resting on the ground.

You backed away in the direction of the door as you tried to sound casual “Does it hurt ?”

“No.” He quickly replied and watched as you bumped into the tiny table in the room as you backed away from him.

And just then the door opened, and Percival walked in.

“You look terrible.” The boy sounded aghast as he saw Lancelot.  
You snorted at the boy’s blunt reaction, but gave Lancelot an apologetic look when you saw his expression.

You corrected the boy “He doesn’t look terrible, Percival.”

“He doesn’t ? You think he looks good ?” It was a question laced with sarcasm but there was a hidden undertone you picked up on.

You felt the heat rise to your face and your hands got clammy. You had to get out of that room. _Now_. The urge to bolt out of the room only intensified when you saw Lancelot look at you expectantly.

You figured that lying would be worse in this case. It would be mean even. But admitting that he looked good, that he looked _really_ good to you even when covered in injuries, was a bridge you feared to cross.

You shrugged your shoulders and tried to sound casual “I’ve seen worse.”

Lancelot blinked a couple of times at your answer. This was confusing.. were you talking about his injuries or…him ?

“I…uh will retreat to my room now. Uh…if you need anything you know where to find me.” You said as you walked backwards out of the room, giving them both a quick look before turning on your heels and hurrying to your own room.

Your heart was racing as you shut the door of your room, what the hell was happening ?

Lancelot had looked at you so intensely when the boy had asked you if you thought he looked good, you had felt as if he was trying to read your mind. And thank the gods he wasn’t able to do that or you would have had a problem. Not long ago he was your enemy, but the more time you spend around him to more you felt yourself drawn to him. You brushed away what you feared was happening, it would be ridiculous. You concluded that what was forming between you and Lancelot was friendship. After everything that had happened it was only normal.

You sighed, taking one of the vials the healer had given you for the pain and drank some of it before crawling into your bed. After a few minutes you couldn’t feel the pain any more, the fey did have a superior form of medicine. Not long after you fell into a peaceful sleep.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percival comes to awake you early in the morning. Nyra asks you what it is like sharing a home with the former Weeping Monk and tells you something that leaves you dumbfounded.

If only it had been a peaceful awakening as well. Quick loud knocks on your door woke you up early, you could hear Percival calling out your name after each three knocks and his voice grew louder just as the knocks did. You didn't lift your head from your pillow “Yes ?”

The boy barged into your room now “Are you awake ?”

“Sadly, yes. What's wrong ?” You opened an eye to look at the boy.

Percival sounded excited about something “Lancelot is asking for you outside. He send me to come and get you.” "Does it have to be now ?" You pulled the pillow over your face and groaned. "Yes. Now." Percival grabbed your arm and started to pull you out of bed. You groaned loudly at the harsh awakening"Alright, alright ! Give me a moment to get ready. I'll come find you then, okay ?" "Fine. But hurry up." The boy sighed as he left the room. You muffled a scream with your pillow, what did Lancelot need you for this early in the morning ? You would almost forget how insane that man could drive you. You finally got out of bed in a sour mood and when you did you walked over to the pile of clothes Nyra had brought to the house for you when you were in the infirmary.

There were clean shirts, pants, tunics and a nightgown similar to the ones you wore. But what you liked most were the two leather bodices that could be worn on the shirts. You picked one to wear with a fresh shirt and laced it closed. It felt like it offered protection to your abdomen, and it suited you well.

You went outside and looked for Percival and the oaf that found it funny to make the boy wake you up this early. You found them behind the house on a small grass field. You noticed Lancelot and the boy were wearing some new clothes as well. And saw that Lancelot had chosen to keep wearing a cloak, you believed he had done so to try and keep a low profile in the village. If it worked was another question. He had also chosen to wear clothes a similar color he always wore only some pieces such a dark grey that it was almost black. The shirt he wore was a dark grey, the leather jerkin he wore on top of that was black. It suited him well. The boy was wearing some new pants and a dark blue leather jacket. You noticed the sword in Percival's hands and recognised it as Lancelot's short sword. A look of concern grew in your eyes “Why is the boy handling that sword, Lancelot ?”

He turned to look at you, he had clearly been waiting for you to arrive “Because I am teaching him to wield something other then bad language.”

Percival glared at him, having heard the comment.

Now you knew why the boy had sounded so excited when he had come to wake you up “You're teaching him how to fight ?”

Lancelot picked up on the concern in your voice “I am teaching him how to wield a sword. How to use it properly in case he must defend himself. Learning how to wield a sword is more then just learning how to fight.”

You were content with his explanation “Alright, is this why you wanted to talk to me ?”

A smirk grew on his face and that's when you realised he was up to something. You looked at him with suspicion.

The boy answered before Lancelot could “He's going to teach you too !”

A laugh escaped you, but one look at Lancelot's face and you realised he boy was telling you the truth.

You took a few steps away from them, pointing at Lancelot "No. Not happening. I'm not fighting you !"

He raised a brow, the corner of his mouth turning up into a lopsided grin "You have fought me every step of the way up until now."

Sometimes you forgot how much of a smartass he could be "Ugh! You know what I mean! Besides, you never stopped bugging me !"

Percival sat on the ground, legs crossed, as he chewed an apple. He looked up towards Lancelot "Why did you keep bugging her ?"

Lancelot rolled his eyes at the question. He had tried to warn you for the consequences of what you were doing but you just did not care. In truth, he was glad that you had not listened to him. But he had listened to you, that was why he was here now. A decision he did not regret. He let out a deep sigh and gestured to you "She knows why."

Percival took another bite as he squinted his eyes at him "Do you fancy her or something ?"

The silence was sudden and unexpected. You could have heard a pin drop in that moment. Your eyes snapped to the boy, oblivious to the reaction Lancelot had at his words.

“Of course he doesn't. We're just...” You waved away the boy's foolish thought.

Lancelot swallowed, visibly uncomfortable now as he awaited your answer to the boy.

You shifted on your feet, also feeling uncomfortable “We're friends... I think...”

Lancelot had not expected you to say that and his eyes slightly widened. A smile formed on his face. He had once been someone you hated and now you liked him enough to call him a friend. He saw you look at him with uncertainty.

“We are.” He agreed with you and saw how you relaxed again.

You shook your head, remembering why you were here in the first place “Friends or not. I don't want you to teach me how to fight, Lancelot.” 

Then you turned around and started to walk away.

"Why ? Scared, y/n ?" Lancelot called out as you walked away. You stopped in your tracks, turning to look at him over your shoulder. Did he just taunt you ? "You don't scare me." You almost bit the words at him. "Well, then. Proof me wrong." He had a shit-eating grin on his face. You closed your eyes for a second, hating how he was able to get under your skin so easily. Then you walked over to Percival and held out your hand "Sword." The boy looked at you suprised and handed you the short sword. You walked over to Lancelot and swung the sword at him. He suspected you would do that and it was exhilarating to him to see how you looked when you got angry. His sword clashed with yours, he moved his sword to the side and you stumbled away from him. You knew he would easily block that, but gods could he be an arrogant shit. He chuckled when he looked at you, when he saw the fire burning in your eyes. He had a feeling that taunting you would work in his advantage. "I can teach you how to do that without almost falling to the ground, y/n." He hid his amusement, it would do little to help now. You shrugged your shoulders, still not really convinced. You feared what would happen if you learned how to wield a sword, what if you ended up killing someone again ?

Lancelot noticed your conflicted expression, he knew you were refusing to learn only because you feared you would kill someone again. That you would become like the Huntsman. He slowly approached you, stopping in front of you as he spoke quietly "Let me teach you how to protect yourself. How to protect the boy should it be necessary one day." Now he sounded persuasive and you caved in. "Alright, fine." You nodded but still felt worried. The feeling of blood on your hands still lingered unto your skin. He smiled at the victory, nodding to you "Oh, and uhm... you're holding that wrong." You watched as he nodded to the sword in your hands and glared back at him. "Oh, really? Then _how_ am I supposed to hold it, please do tell ?" You spoke in a fake, innocent sounding, high pitched voice. It seemed to amuse him even further "Well, I'm glad you asked before you stabbed yourself." You narrowed your eyes at him, you were starting to regret agreeing to this already. He seemed to be in his element now.

"Are you going to teach me or laugh at me ?" You sounded almost insulted.

Lancelot snorted and couldn't contain the chuckle that came out of him. "Unbelievable." You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms in front of your chest. You glared at him as he composed himself. He took a deep breath, a grin appeared on his face when he saw the glare you send him. Lancelot walked over to you as he held out a hand. You thought he was going to take the short sword from your hands so you held the sword out to him, but instead he took your hand in which you held the sword and went to stand closely beside you. "Here, allow me." He moved your fingers until they were in the correct manner to wield the sword safely. The warmth radiating from him as he stood against you now was more then welcome on the cold morning. Your hands were freezing but you felt that his were comfortably warm. Percival sat on the ground and eyed Lancelot suspiciously as he chewed the piece of fruit in his mouth "You could just _show_ her." You looked at the boy questioningly, then it dawned on you what Percival meant.

Lancelot had not shown Percival to hold the sword like this, he hadn't moved the boy's fingers. He had just held up his sword and the boy had copied the way he held the sword. He looked over at the boy, repressing the panic inside of him "I am showing it." The boy squinted his eyes at him, then he took another bite from the apple "Right." Lancelot proceeded to teach you the very basic on what he kept referring to as _'how to not stab yourself with your own sword'_.

He taught you for a couple of hours before you reminded them that the boy was expected for his daily schooling and you and Lancelot were expected to each complete a chore that day that Nyra would inform you about.

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After completing the chore you were given for that day you found yourself talking to Nyra before you headed home.

"What is it like ? Sharing a home with the former 'Weeping Monk' ?" She seemed intrigued by it.

You shrugged your shoulders "It's strange..."

"It must be. Don't worry, living together with your partner is always a bit strange in the beginning." Nyra intended to comfort you.

Your brows drew together at her choice of words. Wait... _oh no_. Not her too.

You abruptly stopped and she did the same "Partner ?"

She looked at you confused "Yes...or do you prefer the term ' _lover_ ' ?"

Nyra was oblivious that this was not the case.

Heat rose to your cheeks, unsure if it was out of embarrassement or the frustration that people kept thinking there was _something_ between you and Lancelot "We're not...or... that other thing... we're not. It's not like that. He's a friend. I swear, I believe he enjoys seeing me angry or something. All he does is frustrate me."

Her eyes moved in such a way that it was clear that she doubted your words "Are you certain you are not confusing frustration with unfulfilled desire ?"

Desire ?! For that arrogant smug oaf ?

It was what set you off to rant "Why does everyone seem to think there is something going on between me and him ?! There is nothing going on !"

Then she just grinned at you, her tone letting you know that she did not believe that "If you want people to believe you, then maybe you two should stop behaving like you _are_ in love with each other."

"I am not in love with him !" It came out far louder then you wished it had.

Nyra had a blank expression, as if she did not truly bother to listen "If he frustrates you so much and you feel nothing for him, then why do you two stick so close together all the time ? Everywhere you go, he soon follows. If he walks away, you go and make him face you. You continue to pursue each other."

"Friends stick together. I am just grateful for what he has done for me and the boy." You defended yourself.

"None of my friends look at me the way _he_ looks at you, y/n." She countered.

You stared at her speechless. No, no, it couldn't be true. No way that Lancelot harbored feelings like that for you. It was just a big misunderstanding.

“He doesn't look at me that way...” You spoke quietly, but the seed of doubt was planted in your mind.

Nyra sighed at that “I saw him teach you and the boy to wield a sword this morning. And I believe you _are_ right, Lancelot _does_ enjoy seeing you angry. A man I knew looked at me the same way Lancelot looked at you this morning when you got angry.”

“And what happened ? You killed him ?” You deadpanned.

“I birthed our child that same year.” She gave you a knowing grin.

Your mouth was agape now and you felt the heat rise to your cheeks again when you understood what she was trying to tell you.

Nyra rolled her eyes and let out a frustrated sigh “y/n, when you got out of the tunnels you were not hallucinating anymore.”

You frowned at her “That's true, I don't see what that has do to with-”

She interrupted you “You should have been. It can take up to three days for the tunnel's effect to wear off, unless...”

You narrowed your eyes, remembering when the tunnel's hold on you had broken “Unless ?”

Nyra smiled knowingly as she answered “The tunnel feeds on bad emotions, fear, guilt, pain. But it yields to one emotion. _Love_. Did Lancelot touch you in the tunnel ?”

Your eyes went wide, you had touched his hand, you had clinged to him. It was then that the hallucinating stopped.

You quietly nodded to her and she smirked victoriously “Perhaps you do not feel that way about him, but he must feel some form of love for you.”

Nyra walked away, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You were shaking your head in disbelief, your thoughts were racing and went back to earlier that day when Percival had bluntly asked Lancelot if he fancied you and how silent he became. You had believed it was because such a topic often made him uncomfortable.

This couldn't be true... but then how else were you not effected longer by the tunnels ?

You didn't know how to handle this information, and no way were you going to just ask him about it. Not happening. Nope.

What if Nyra was wrong and you made a complete fool of yourself ?

You would keep this information to yourself for now, at least until you were certain. Lancelot was a master in hiding his feelings, you often only saw glimpses. You started to walk home, it was getting dark and Percival and Lancelot would probably be at the house already. You hugged your arms to your chest as you walked, and as you passed the pub you had seen when you had arrived here, Nyra called out to you from inside the place.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lancelot becomes worried when you are not home yet after dark. He finds you in the village’s pub. It proves difficult to convince you to leave the place.

Nyra had beckoned for you to come inside the pub, she insisted you tried the ale the feys made themselves. At first you had refused but the other feys and man-bloods present in the pub convinced you. The ale they made themselves tasted incredible. And in retrospect you should have stopped drinking it after your second tankard but you hadn't. It seemed to calm the nerves that were flowing through your body from the earlier conversation with Nyra. You were secretly scared to go home and face Lancelot, what if Nyra was right ? You didn't know what _you_ felt for _him_. You were afraid to know _what_ you felt. 

And after your fourth tankard you caught yourself thinking: What if she was _wrong_ ?

What form of love would it be ? Maybe it was just love for a friend and she was wrong about him looking at you differently. 

But what if it _wasn't_ ?

You were starting your fifth tankard when Nyra excused herself as she had to go and handle some business and it was getting late. She did ask if you would be okay and you had smiled widely at her in a dumb drunk way and slurred _'of course'_.

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Lancelot paced back and forth outside of the house. He knew you were a grown woman and this village was safe but he still couldn't help but worry when night had fallen and you had not returned home yet. Dark thoughts entered his mind, what if someone decided to hurt you for your brother's actions against the fey ? After a few more minutes of driving himself insane, he walked inside the house to the boy sitting at the table.

“Is she still not home yet ?” The boy frowned at him.

Lancelot shook his head, getting more anxious with each passing second “No. I am going to go and look for her. Stay inside the house.”

“Can't I come ?” Percival was ready to battle him on this.

“No. I expect you to be well rested tomorrow for your training. No excuses. I won't be gone long.” Lancelot reminded the boy of their training at dawn.

The boy yielded reluctantly “Fine.”

Lancelot was glad he didn't have to argue with the boy, perhaps it was because the boy was tired after wakening up this early.

He walked through the village with a quick pace, not many people were outside at this time but he did spot Nyra.

Lancelot quickly walked up to her “Nyra, have you seen y/n ?”

Nyra quirked a brow at him before snorting, the memory of you drunkingly rambling to her about him was still fresh “I have. She's in the pub. Good luck.”

Nyra walked past him and patted him on the shoulder with a look of compassion, it was enough for him to get terribly anxious.

He had a feeling this was not going to be easy as he walked to the pub.

The pub was closeby and he pushed the door open, stepping inside. He spotted you right away... along with many other feys that did not look pleased to see him there. The place got far less rowdy when he stepped inside.

Still he walked towards you when he noticed you were acting strange. You were sitting at a table with other people. When he got closer he realised why you were acting strange and he let out a deep frustrated sigh. This was not safe, you were so drunk that if anything were to happen you probably would not even be able to properly call for help.

He knew he would have to persuade you to let him take you back to your new home. He knew you would never get there yourself in the dark in this state. The table you were sitting at went absolutely silent when he stopped next to you. You hadn't even noticed that he was there at all.

"Y/n ?" He spoke quietly, feeling the wary eyes of the other feys on him. As if they feared he would actually try to hurt you ?

You looked up at him, and smiled widely. You held up the tankard you had been drinking from "Oh, Lancelot ! Taste thisss !"

You managed to spill some of the ale on him as you did.

He remained calm, and took the tankard from your hands. Not drinking it but placing it on the table out of your reach.

You looked upset about it, something that was entertaining for him to see.

"W-hy...why didn't you taste-" You protested with a pout.

He quirked a brow, finding your expression...oddly endearing. You looked like you were really letting your guard down around him in this state.

"I think we should leave some ale for the others." He knew he would have to convince you to leave. And he knew he would have to approach it carefully, he could see that the other people were nervous.

"I- I didn't drink that m-much !" You exclaimed a little louder.

He kept his voice low and leaned down to whisper to you "Can you walk then ?"

You got up from the chair you had been sitting on but not without actually grabbing a hold on his arm to do so.

He let out an audible sigh when you did, this wasn't going to be easy.

"Seeeee, I..I can walk !" You said louder then needed again and took a few steps.

Four steps and you stumbled over your own feet. He was able to catch you before you could actually start to fall to the ground. He supported you with an arm around your back, your hand grasping the leather jerkin he was wearing.

He heard you curse under your breath in suprise "Y/n, you should go home. Sleep this off."

You spoke loudly again "No. I'm...I'm not going anywhere ! I like it here !"

He was about to try and persuade you when he saw that your words had alarmed the others. He spotted one of them coming towards him.

It looked like the man was the Inn Keeper “Sounds like the girl doesn't want to go with ya. How 'bout you let go off her ? You ugly weeping bastard."

Lancelot ignored the insult, he'd heard it more times then he could count.

_But you didn't._

"Oi ! He's.." you drunkely but softly tapped your hand against Lancelot's cheek "...he can be an ass, but calling him a bastard is a bit harsh.... and he's...he's... not ugly !"

The aggressive tension between him and the man shifted and turned awkward instead. Lancelot felt like he had forgotten how to speak. Had you just insulted, defended and complimented him in one sentence ? The latter was what actually suprised him. He just wanted to get you outside so you could get some fresh air and hopefully sober up soon. He tried to steer you towards the exit but you suddenly reached up and took hold of his chin and jaw with your fingers "Look ! See ! He's handsome, you...you just have to ignore that angry glare he does. Seeee ?"

This was not going as planned and he took hold of your hand, gently removing it from his face. He didn't know what to feel, he felt oddly flattered but also incredibly mortified by it.

The man's eyes darted between you and Lancelot before exclaiming "Better take that one outside for some fresh air. She's hallucinating."

Lancelot couldn't help but think that was more insulting then what the man had previously called him.

"Am not !" You protested loudly.

Lancelot now started to pull you towards the exit more firmly "Y/n, please, come with me."

You huffed and flailed you arm recklessly as he guided you with the other "Fine ! Why are you always so bossy ?"

"You don't listen anyway..." He quietly blurted out. Remembering all the times he had tried to warn you and you just blatantly ignored it.

But still you had heard it "That's... that's...true.."

His mouth quirked up a little at your comment and he finally arrived with you outside. Only moments ago he worried he would have to defend himself physically against that man and somehow you, in your drunken state, had defused the situation. It baffled him how defensive you became when the man had insulted him, how you had held his face to try and change the man's mind. Lancelot brushed a hand over his chin as he thought back to it. No one had ever called him handsome before, and the fact that _you_ were the one calling him that came as quite a shock. You would _never_ admit such a thing if you were sober. He watched as you walked through the grass while humming some melody he didn't recognize and then he looked at you as you stumbled over to him again. He found himself smilling at your stumbling, and then you pointed at him.

“See ! I like it when you do that !” You said louder then needed as you were almost standing against him at this point and he'd even hear you if you whispered.

He quirked a brow at you, not understanding what you were speaking about “You like that I dragged you out of there ?”

You rolled your eyes, speaking a little too loud again “No, you oaf!”

The smile never left his face as he watched you, even in your drunken state you were still feisty. Then you pointed at him again but weren't able to estimate the distance between you and him properly and your finger bumped against his nose, he leaned his head back a little in response.

“I... like... to see you smile. I don't like...to see you... sad. I don't want you to be sad...” You squinted your eyes, as if you were trying to focus your eyes but it wasn't working.

His eyes softened at your drunken confession, not expecting you to say something like that.

Lancelot was staring at you in silence, it dawned on him how much he had grown to care for you. He found himself wishing that you were this relaxed around him when you weren't drunk. You had said you saw him as a friend but sometimes you appeared so nervous around him and he didn't know why that was.

“Have you ever kissed someone ?” You suddenly asked.

He froze, never expecting the question. The smile vanished from his face, why were you asking him this ?

He averted his eyes from you and instead looked at a tree.

“No ?” You guessed the answer as you were swaying on your feet.

He couldn't help but feel uncomfortable now, he knew you were saying this because you were drunk but it did little to slow his heartbeat down again.

“Would you... like to... kiss someone ?” You asked it so casually, as if you were asking him what his favorite type of food was.

His eyes snapped to you again and he opened his mouth to speak but no words left his mouth. Why were you curious about that ? And then he caught himself thinking about it. What it would be like to kiss someone. And as he looked at you, he couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like to kiss _you_.

As quickly as that thought had entered his mind, just as quickly did he take a step away from you. This wasn't right, you were drunk and he was your friend, he shouldn't be thinking things like this. Why was he even thinking these things ?

Lancelot spoke quietly “We should head home, y/n. It's late.”

You shook your head, giving him a playful shove with your hand "No, we don't. Let's go swimming !"

His face filled with horror, swimming in the dark in your state ? Surely you wouldn't actually...and then you started to head in the direction of the river and he looked up to the sky for a moment and cussed under his breath before going after you to stop you before you would drown yourself.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wake up with a terrible headache but Lancelot has no mercy on you it seems.

The morning sun casted it’s light through the window of your room and you never thought you would hate sunlight this much. Your head hurt like hell, you turned over facing away from the window. That is when you saw Lancelot and Percival sitting on the ground against the wall, looking at you. That woke you up real quick.

Lancelot was smirking at you, noticing how you were squinting your eyes “Ah, she awakes.”

You were incredibly confused “What…why are you here ?”

“You kept saying you wanted to go swimming.” Percival said and you felt immediately embarrassed.

“Wouldn’t want you to drown.” Lancelot followed up on that “You were insistent. It took you a while to fall asleep.”

“How did I even get back here ? I don’t remember..” You tried to think back to last night.

Lancelot’s mouth turned up in a smirk as he thought back to the moment he had wanted to guide you back home. He had stopped you before you could step into the river. And after minutes of trying to convince you to go back, he had picked you up from the ground and tossed you over his shoulder as he walked with you back to the village. He doubted you would like to hear about that part of the story.

“With great effort and difficulty.” He deadpanned.

You could sense that he was hiding something, he seemed _too_ cheerful. Maybe you didn’t want to know what other embarrassing things you did last night.  
“You have woken up right on time for your training.” Lancelot sounded entertained.  
"You must be joking ?” You sat up immediately.  
No, no really. He cannot be serious ? Your head was killing you.  
“I am not.” He stood up and tossed his short sword on your bed.  
“My head is killing me.” You almost pouted as your eyes fell on the sword.  
He placed a familiar vial next to you, the one you had given him for the pain “Be glad you didn’t drown last night.”  
He had no mercy on you it appeared.  
The boy left the room eager to go and train, Lancelot stopped to look at you.  
A grin plastered on his face “I hope your footwork will be better then it was last night.”  
"You smug- "You tossed your pillow in his direction at his words, he knew you would try that and the pillow hit the door as he walked out of your room.  
  
  


OoooOOOoooOOOoOOoOOOooOooOO

~ _1 Week later~_

After a week of training with Lancelot you started to notice some progress, you had to admit that he was good at teaching you this. When you lost your patience he always remained calm and waited until you calmed down enough to continue practicing.

You were starting to get better, first he had learned you to block attacks, making sure you could at least defend yourself. But now he was starting to show you how to attack as well. And soon it felt more like light sparring then teaching. He felt pride in being able to teach you and teaching the boy. Perhaps he was too prideful and confident in your skill, because at some point he was certain you would block one of his movements. You were not fast enough yet, but he blamed _himself_ for being _too_ fast. He knew his sword had cut your skin, he had felt it instantly. Your pained yelp came less then a second later as you grabbed your lower arm. He dropped his sword to the ground at the sight of blood staining your clothes. Shock flooded through him and he was in front of you instantly. He felt awful as he took hold of your arm and examined the gash. It wasn’t too deep but blood was pouring out of it either way.

"I am sorry…I didn’t meant to…I thought you would block me… this is my fault..” He uttered the apology, looking around him for something to wrap around the wound.

You shook your head at his apologies “I know you didn’t do this on purpose, Lancelot. It was an accident. I should have blocked you, as you have taught me. It’s not your fault.”

“Yes, it is.” He truly believed that he had been reckless, he could have killed you because he was so confident that he had taught you well enough already.

You shook your head, watching how his eyes were filled with remorse.

“No, it’s not ! I have already forgiven you, you oaf. Cut the rest of my sleeve off, it is ruined anyway. I can use it to cover the wound until I get to the healer.” You handed him the short sword.

Lancelot seemed absent as he did as you asked. He cut the rest of your sleeve and insisted on wrapping it around the wound himself. Then he brought you to the healer right away.

Lancelot was in deep thought after he had brought you to the healer. You had told him you didn’t blame him for the accident, but he _did_ blame himself. He had hurt you, he could have killed you had he held his sword any higher. He let himself get carried away and now you were in the infirmary because of it. What if this led to you hating him again ? 

What if you would become afraid of him again ? The guilt was gnawing at him. Finally he made his way towards Goliath.

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It took a while for the healer to help you. It was starting to get dark outside when you walked out of the Infirmary. Lancelot was no longer waiting outside, you didn’t blame him, you could walk home by yourself. After spending time with him you did realise that he was _very_ protective towards you and the boy. Perhaps he finally believed that you could take care of yourself. And still you felt strange… it didn’t seem like something he would do.  
You walked home and stepped inside the house, Percival was sitting at the table sharpening his small knife.  
“Y/n !” He beemed, mouth turning into a wide smile.  
“Percival.” You greeted with a smile of your own “How was schooling today ?”  
Percival shrugged his shoulders “Boring.”  
You snorted at his answer, you remembered your own schooling and understood why the boy had said that “But necessary. Especially for a knight.”  
You saw how the boy seemed to agree on that with you, albeit reluctantly.  
You walked around the house for a moment before returning back to the boy when you didn’t see Lancelot anywhere.  
“Percival, have you seen Lancelot ? I haven’t seen him since he brought me to the infirmary.” Now you were getting worried.  
The boy frowned up at you “No. Why were you in the infirmary ?”  
You pointed to your bandaged arm “Had an accident during training with him. It’s nothing bad.”  
“Oh, does it hurt ?” Percival asked with concern.  
“Not really.” You put the boy’s mind at ease “Strange that he’s not here yet. Did he mention anything to you about going somewhere ?”  
Percival thought about it for a moment before answering “No.”  
Your brows drew together, and a pit was forming in your stomach “I’ll go and look for him, perhaps he’s busy with Goliath.”  
The boy shook his head “I didn’t see Goliath in his spot when I got home.”  
You quickly turned your head to look at the boy “Goliath is gone ?”  
Now you were alarmed, you tried to calm your nerves by thinking that perhaps Lancelot had taken the horse for a ride or a walk.  
Percival nodded, noticing your distress “I’ll come with you to go look for him. Maybe he got lost ?”  
It was wishful thinking, one of Lancelot’s talents was tracking. He would not get lost here. His ability to smell the fey would lead him right back to the village as well.  
“Alright, let’s go. But stick close to me. I don’t want to end up having to search for two people.” You spoke firmly.  
The boy nodded in agreement as he followed you out the door.  
  
  


  
  


  
  
You must have searched for an hour all over the village, even went to see if he was in the pub. But you didn’t see him anywhere. Finally, you ran into Nyra who was suprised to see you out with the boy this late.  
You greeted her, eyes filled with silent panic “Nyra, have you seen Lancelot ? We can’t seem to find him. I haven’t seen him since he brought me to the infirmary but that was hours ago. Maybe he is in the forest ?”  
Nyra averted her eyes at your question and the pit in your stomach only grew. She knew something, you could tell by her expression “He was seen at the tunnel entrance. Didn’t he tell you anything ?”  
You froze, why would he be at the tunnels ?  
“The tunnels ?”  
Nyra gave you sympathetic look “He went into the tunnels with his horse. Didn’t you know ?”  
You swallowed the lump forming in your throat “No. He didn’t say anything to me or Percival. Did he say anything to you or someone else ?”  
She shook her head “No. He left without saying anything, I’m sorry, y/n.”  
Nyra walked away, leaving you and the boy.  
The way she said it and looked at you… as if she was guessing your train of thought.  
You didn’t want to alarm the boy just yet “He’ll come back. Maybe there was something he needed to do.”  
The boy must have picked up on the doubt in your voice and he casted his eyes to the ground.  
You put a hand on his shoulder as you walked back home with him “He’ll probably be back in the morning. We should get some rest.”  
  
  
  


  
  
  
You sat outside the house on the ground as the boy slept inside, waiting for Lancelot to return. You thought about how you would scold him for just leaving like that when he would return. But deep down you feared you would not get the chance to do that. It was strange how this happened on the same day that the accident during training had happened.  
After waiting for hours, you eventually fell asleep outside.  
It was very early when you awoke, and you didn’t have to check inside the house to see if he had returned. He would not have just left you asleep outside if he had. And Goliath was still nowhere to be seen.  
He left. He actually left. Had he really just left ? Without even saying goodbye ?  
He had spend a lot of time following you around when he was with the Red Paladins, something that irritated you tremendously.  
But now that he was gone, you missed him. You missed the man you had come to know. Sure, he could still get on your nerves but… in a more pleasant way.  
You rubbed your eyes, trying to stop the tears from forming. You kept thinking that after everything, he had just left. No goodbyes, no explanation, no warning.  
Perhaps he wasn’t happy here after all.  
You took a moment to compose yourself before you went inside to wake the boy and were filled with worry when you found out the boy was not in the house. You tried to stay calm as you hurried outside and took a horse.  
You feared the boy would try something such as this and you knew where to look for Percival first, you just hoped you got there in time.  
  


  
  
  
  
  
You found the boy just before he could enter the tunnels. You called out his name and he turned to you, looking caught.  
“Percival, where are you going ?” A question you already believed to have the answer to.  
He looked up at you determined “I’m going to find that idiot and bring him back.”  
“Percival…” You got closer to him “If Lancelot wanted to return.. he would have.”  
The boy scrambled for scenarios, visibly upset “What if he got lost ? Or if something happened ?”  
You knew none of those were the case. Lancelot was one of the best fighters out there and he was famous for his tracking skills as well.  
“If he wanted us to believe he would return, he would have told us where he was going.” You stopped in front of the boy.  
It broke your heart to see how this boy had grown so attached so quickly and had once again lost someone he cared about.  
“I’m sorry, Percival.” You swallowed the lump forming in your throat.  
The boy shook his head and bit his lip. He sniffed once and you pulled him into a hug. Percival sobbed quietly against you for a while before abruptly stepping away from you “I don’t care… he doesn’t either, so why would I ?”  
He wiped away the tears from his face with his sleeve “He can stay gone for all I care…”  
Then the boy marched past you back to the village.

  
  
  
OooOOOOoooOOOoOOoOOOooOooOO

  
  
  
That night you sat in your bed, knees hugged to your chest, tears staining your cheeks. You had spend the day waiting again for him to return. Holding out hope that he would. But when night fell, something inside of you was shattered. He was gone, he wasn’t going to return. Was this because of the accident ? Did he think you would go back to hating him because of an accident ?  
Was he afraid he would go back to his old ways ? Or maybe… maybe he didn’t feel happy here after all. He was raised among man-bloods, not fey.

Maybe he didn’t care for you or the boy as you had believed he had.  
And that thought hurt you the most.  
Because you had grown to care for him more deeply then you had realised and now that he was gone, you were heartbroken. The feelings you had pushed away came crashing down on you all at once. Maybe you never really knew him. Why did you miss that smug idiot ? He had made your life hell the moment he set foot in it. First by being the person you couldn’t get rid off, and now by being the person you wished would be here again.

Nyra had been wrong, of course he didn’t love you. He wouldn’t have just left if he had. You caught yourself wishing that what she had said was correct, because deep down you knew that what you felt towards him was not just friendship anymore.

You layed down and pulled the sheets under your chin, wishing that sleep would come and carry you away.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had been two days since he had left without saying a word. When you are busy with putting aside the firewood you hear a horse approach.

It had been two days since he had left and you tried to keep yourself busy in an attempt to ignore the crushing heaviness you felt in your chest everytime you thought of him. You had just finished collecting some firewood and were busy putting it away besides the house as it got dark outside. The sounds of hooves hitting the ground pulled your attention, it sounded like it was approaching your home. You walked around the side of the house towards the front and when you turned the corner you felt rooted to the spot. You had not been in the tunnels so you were not hallucinating, but it felt as if you were because Lancelot was tying Goliath's reins next to the house as if he hadn't been gone for two whole damn days.

“You came back....” You were staring at him.

He turned to look at you calmly, unaware of your shocked state. He didn't understand why that seemed strange to you “Yes...”

You gestured to him your voice weak “But you left...” Lancelot looked at you, worried by your strange reaction "I did...and now I have returned. Y/n, what's wrong ?"

He had no idea what his question would unleash.

You stared at him for a moment longer, then you _snapped_ "What's wrong ?! What's WRONG ?! You just took off on your own and you- UGH !"

He was rooted to the spot as he watched you take a breath to calm yourself down "I've upset you..."

"Very observant !" Your voice sarcastic "Not just me but the boy as well !"

He didn't understand at first why you were this upset, he had returned here didn't he ?

"You just left..." Your voice broke on the last word, something he noticed "What if it was the boy being suddenly gone for two days without a warning ?" You tried to make him understand.

"He's a child." He didn't understand what you were comparing it to. A child leaving for days alone was different from an adult doing so.

You groaned in frustration, why was he not understanding this "Okay, fine. An adult then. What if it was _me_ ? What if I rode off without saying anything ? Not to you, not to the boy. Not even a goodbye. How would you react ?"

Lancelot did not even like to hear you say it, let alone you actually doing it. He would be worried, he knew he would be angry, he would believe you didn't even care that he would be.

Oh.

_Oh._ Realisation dawned on him, he was never missed among the paladins when he was absent. It had not occurred to him that you and the boy would actually care if he was gone for a little while. But by seeing your reaction he understood that was what you were trying to tell him. His eyes widened for a moment, had you thought he would not return ? That he would just abandon you and the boy ?

You were visibly upset as you started to rant “I can't believe you actually did that, and now you're here acting like nothing happened?! I thought we were never going to see you again, that you didn't care if... Why would you do that ? Why didn't you say anything ?!”

Lancelot searched for something in his pockets as you continued to scold him, he suddenly took your hand and placed something in it. It startled you and you looked down to see what it was and then...

_Silence._

You looked up at him with wide eyes, you couldn't believe it. The necklace Magnolia had given you, the one you had forgotten that night in Mirstone, was now laying in your hand. You were scrambling for words as you looked at him. He looked at you apologetic "I thought you might want it back.”

The day he had accidentally hurt you during sparring, he had felt guilty. He had been thinking of a way to make this up to you. Then he remembered that you had mentioned how the necklace you had gotten from your sister was still in Mirstone. He had rode all the way there just to collect the piece, it was important to you and he wanted to return it to you.

You brushed your thumb over the wooden flower shaped pendant now back in your hand “My necklace...”

You had thought you would never see it again, was this why he had left ?

You looked at him, feeling a smile tugging at your lips “You went back to Mirstone ? To bring me back my necklace ?”

He gave a nod, watching your reaction intensely “It sounded important to you...”

You blinked a couple of times, still not believing that this was happening “Thank you...I didn't think you would even remember that...”

“Of course I remembered.” He spoke quietly as his eyes locked on yours.

It still amazed you how often he picked up on things others would not pick up on.

You stepped closer and threw your arms around his neck as you pulled him in an embrace, you rested your head on his shoulder “I've missed you.”

His response was quicker then it had ever been, he had been gone for days and all the while he had longed to see you again. He wrapped an arm around you, his other hand rested on the back of your head. This time he moved you a little closer to him.

A smile grew on your face but you spoke in a serious tone “But if you ever leave for days again without a warning, I will not embrace you, I will strangle you with my bare hands.”

There was a moment of silence and then he pulled back a little to look at your face.

He quirked a brow at you and you did the same.

“You heard me.” You added as you let go off him and stepped away.

Lancelot scoffed lightly, but smiled broadly “You wouldn't.”

You rolled your eyes at him “Fine. But I will not embrace you if it happens again. You can sleep outside the house for all I care if you do it again.”

He needed to make it clear that it was never his intention to upset you or the boy, that he was wasn't going to just abandon you. Lancelot cared too much about you and the boy "If you will allow me, I'd prefer to stay with you...and the boy. _Inside the house_. Unless...you would prefer me to-"

"I'll allow it." You said casually, cutting him off, but every nerve in your body was screaming in with joy.

He genuinely smiled before quirking a brow "You won't lecture me anymore for having left without telling you why ?"

"No." You shook your head before smirking. "But I'm sure he will."

You pointed behind him and he turned around to see Percival stare at him. The boy had not expected to ever see him again. Percival smiled but then it quickly changed to an angry frown as he marched towards Lancelot. Lancelot saw the storm roaring in the boy's eyes and he quickly looked at you. You noticed the look of alarm in Lancelot's eyes "Brace yourself. He was really upset when he believed you had left us."

Percival tried to shove him, it caught Lancelot off-guard and he stumbled a step backwards because of it.

"YOU LEFT US !” The boy shoved him again and he let him.

The angry frown remained on the boy's face even as tears started to stream down his cheeks.

“I am sorry, Percival. I should have said something, I was always going to return here.” Lancelot felt his throat thighten as he saw the boy's tear stained face.

Percival shoved Lancelot again before stepping back and taking a deep breath, the anger on his face was gone, all that was left was a sorrowful expression “You left us..”

Then the boy ran up to him again and Lancelot expected the boy to shove him again. Instead the boy threw his arms around him, embracing him as he quietly sobbed against him.

You covered your mouth with your hand in suprise at the heartwarming display.

Lancelot was taken aback by the boy's reaction and it took him a moment to respond to the embrace.

He placed a hand on the back of the boy's head “I am sorry...please forgive me, Percival ?”

After another second the boy let go off him and wiped his tears away “Maybe, if you don't do it again, you bloody idiot !”

Your brows shot up at the boy's spirited reaction, Lancelot had the same reaction.

Lancelot nodded meekly to the boy, it was almost funny to see how the once notorious Weeping Monk, yielded to the young fey boy.

The boy stormed past him inside the house and slammed the door.

You looked at him sympathetic “Are you alright ?”

He took a deep breath as he turned to you and nodded.

“We really thought you weren't going to return.” You sighed.

Lancelot spoke firmly, leaving no room for doubt about this anymore “I will not abandon you or the boy, y/n. You are all I have, you and the boy. Did you believe I cared so little ?”

You casted your eyes to the ground, no one had every really cared about you, only your sister. You were so used to being treated like air that it was hard to believe someone actually genuinely cared about you “I'm sorry, Lancelot. I'm just not used to someone caring about me.”

His eyes softened as he sighed “I'm not either. I still can't believe you have cared for me the way you did, y/n. I would have bled out in the forest weeks ago had you not helped me.”

At that you looked at him “How are your wounds ? You were gone for days, I should have a look at them. See what damage you have done to my work.”

He almost rolled his eyes at your comment but obliged to your request and followed you inside the house.

OooOOOOoooOOOoOOoOOOooOooOO

You were sitting next to him on his bed as you examined the wounds, luckily he had not obtained new ones "How are the people there ? In Mirstone I mean ?"

Lancelot watched as you looked at the wound on his arm that was healing "They are doing well. They looked more at ease then I've ever seen them."

Of course they did, they no longer had to live under your brother's tyranny. You grabbed the bowl with the salve you always used for his wounds and put some on your fingers. He ignored the nervous feeling growing inside of him again, he had not forgotten how he had reacted the last time you had put that salve on him. You focused on the wounds on his chest first, his skin felt strangly familiar to you by now. You caught yourself thinking that you had missed doing this and your hands were starting to shake. This was ridiculous, you had done this before. Why was it so hard to breath calmly now ? Your feelings for him were a problem now. You had realised what you felt while he was gone, but now that he was back it would be harder to push those feelings aside. You had been in love before, but of course the subject of your affection was soon scared away by Draegan. It hadn't gone further then a quick peck on the lips. Now you were sitting next to the person you had feelings for while rubbing salve onto his bare torso. So this was _very_ different. And you believed that the only love he felt for you was that of a friend. For all you knew he was still celibate, it was how he was raised after all. There was a strong possibility that he would never act on romantic feelings and keep things completely platonic due to his upbringing. You had to get yourself under control before he would notice something was off.

But Lancelot was very aware that your hands were trembling as you touched him. He took it as a sign of discomfort. The last thing he wanted was to make you feel like you owed him this, even if he felt much better every time your soft hands tended to his skin "You don't have to do this, y/n. My wounds will heal in time."

He sounded calm, perfectly hiding how bad he felt for making you uncomfortable.

"Yes, I do. If I don't treat these wounds they might get infected." You continued to rub the salve into his skin.

He suprised you by gingerly taking a hold of your wrist, stopping you from continuing.

"Your hands are shaking..." He pointed out, looking at you with concern.

You didn't know how to reply to that, no good excuse came to mind fast enough.

"Are you still afraid of me ?" Lancelot inquired, his voice heavy and quiet.

The room was silent for a moment until you snorted loudly at his question "Don't flatter yourself. You don't scare me."

It was not the reaction he expected from you, one look at your face told him you were being honest.

He let go off your wrist "But I am making you uncomfortable ?"

You shook your head and continued to work on his wounds "You're not. You're making me nervous. Now, please turn around so I can work on your back.”

Lancelot nodded nervously but did as asked. Seconds later he felt your fingers gently tracing the salve on his back again. He had missed that feeling more then he had realised. He tried to keep his breathing steady and instead focused on talking to you.

“How do I make you nervous ?” He asked it so he could be mindful about it, maybe he could help you feel more relaxed ?

You were glad he was facing away from you so he couldn't see the panic in your eyes. What were you going to tell him ? That his whole damn presence made you nervous now ? That touching his bare skin made your heart beat so fast you felt a little dizzy ?

“By getting on my nerves.” You hoped to turn it into a joke.

He scoffed before chuckling, of course you would make him regret asking “I do ?”

“Always.” You deadpanned.

He looked over his shoulder at you and noticed the playful smirk on your face “And yet you continue to speak to me.”

You shrugged your shoulders, trying not to laugh “Who else will ? Someone has to sacrifice their sanity.”

Lancelot narrowed his eyes at you but send you a lopsided grin “Perhaps it is I who sacrifices my own sanity by talking to you.”

You finished with his back and he turned to sit normal again next to you “And yet you still came back to me.”

His eyes softened and locked on yours, you looked calmer now “You did call me a madman. Remember ?”

You hummed in response, you had called him that when he had tied up your hands in the forest that day. A comfortable silence fell between you as you put the items back into the little wooden box. Then you rested the little box on your lap and turned to look at him. He was looking down at his hands.

"How is your arm ?" The feeling of guilt returned to him, even after being gone for two days he still put the blame on himself.

You showed him your arm and he carefully took it in his hands, when his thumb brushed over your skin your heartbeat spiked. The healer had stitched the wound well, you weren't wearing a bandage on it anymore, using the salve was efficient enough. You saw how his eyes seemed distant again, just as they had been on the day of the accident "I do not want you to feel guilty, Lancelot. I know it wasn't your intention to hurt me."

Lancelot shook his head lightly as his thumb brushed over your arm absentmindedly "I was reckless."

"Lancelot, you are the best swordsman I know of. Accidents happen to the best of us. I don't want you to stop teaching me because of this." You countered, hearing how he put the blame on himself.

He looked at your face for a second before his eyes fell on your arm again "I do not know if I should continue teaching you."

"You said you would teach me. Are you not a man of your word ?" You reminded him, keeping your voice light.

"I thought you did not like handling a sword ?" He squinted his eyes at you, detecting the sudden playfulness in your voice.

You smiled a little as you shrugged your shoulders "I didn't, but I like learning it from you. If you don't want to continue training me, then I will have to find someone else to do so. But who could possibly replace you, the best swordsman, as my new teacher ?"

The corner of his mouth turned up, his expression softened.

You could see that your praise was working "Your skill is unparalleled. You're simply irreplaceable."

When his eyes searched yours, you looked at him, silently pleading to him to continue teaching you. Silently telling him that you still trusted him.

Lancelot let out a breath, how could he refuse you ? Hearing you praise him like this was enough to make him change his mind.

Besides, you were right. Who else would teach you ?

He didn't trust anyone enough to let them near you with a sword "Alright. I will keep teaching you."

You almost beamed at his answer "You will ?"

He gave a quick nod as he let go off your arm "Yes. But no sparring anymore yet. Not until you have trained for a longer while."

You nodded in agreement "Deal."

You squeezed his shoulder with your hand "I'm glad you are home again, Lancelot." you smiled softly before leaning in and placing a kiss on his cheek, lingering just a little longer then necessary "Thank you for bringing me back my necklace. You have no idea how much that means to me." With that you stood up and headed to the door, opening it but turning to him before walking out. "You better still bloody be here when I wake up tomorrow." You gave him a warning look. He was still too startled by what happened just seconds ago to reply. Finally you walked out of the room, shutting the door behind you.

You had kissed his cheek before but this had felt different, _very_ different. Your lips had lingered on his cheek, this was not a quick peck, this was pressing a kiss on his cheek vigorously. It made him think back to his journey from and to Mirstone, he had kept thinking about what it would be like to kiss you. It hadn't left his mind even for a day ever since the thought had been planted in his mind the night you were drunk. He brought his hands up to his face and dragged them down it, he felt a longing that was maddening. He was no fool, he had tried to ignore the growing feeling inside of him, he understood what it was now. The trip to Mirstone had made him figure it out. People do not think of their friends like this, not these kind of thoughts that only increased with each moment he spend around you. He knew what he felt, but he couldn't tell you. What if you turned him away ? He couldn't risk losing one of the two people he had left. The door opened again and the boy walked in, munching on a pear and to his suprise Percival handed him a pear as well as he passed him by.

Lancelot smirked and quirked a brow at him “Does this mean I am forgiven ?”

“I'll forgive you. But I'm not the one that cried every night while you were gone.” Percival plopped down on his own bed on the other side of the room.

Lancelot frowned and turned to look at the boy “What ?”

Percival pulled the cover over his head as he mumbled sleepily “I could hear y/n cry when she was in her room at night. And she always looked sad during the day...if she can forgive you, I can too.”

He pulled his eyes away from the boy, he had no idea you had been _this_ upset “Did she talk about me ?”

Percival mumbled his answer “I once heard her say _'I can't believe I miss that smug oaf'_ , why ?”

Lancelot scoffed softly, the corner of his mouth turned up. That _did_ sound like something you would say.

“No reason. Sleep, we will resume training tomorrow.” He told the boy as he layed down.

Lancelot found himself staying awake a while longer then usual and when he heard nothing he fell into a peaceful sleep.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you ask Lancelot an unexpected question he panics and answers in an very unfortunate way. You immediately regret ever asking him the question.

Percival had always been the one to wake you up if you still slept, Lancelot often insisted on training early in the day before schooling and chores. But this time Lancelot took it upon himself to wake you. He knocked loudly on your door and he heard you call out to him. You had expected it to be Percival and were suprised to see it was Lancelot.

The glare you send him seemed to amuse him greatly “Good morning. Time to wake up for your training, y/n.”

You hadn't expected him to start training right away again “I did not miss this...this waking up early...ugh!”

Lancelot was not suprised that you were not a morning person “Get up, y/n. We are wasting valuable time.”

You mumbled something under your breath and pulled your pillow over your head. Damnit, this man was like a rooster with always being up this early to open his mouth and wake up everyone unfortunate enough to be in his vicinity.

He waited for another moment before warning “Do you need my help ?”

You moved your pillow up just a little to glare at him, having detected the underlying threat “What ? You're going to drag me out of my bed ?”

The smirk he send you made you wonder if he would actually attempt it.

You rolled your eyes at him and turned over so you were facing away from him “Just give me a moment, you rooster.”

Then out of frustration at your stubborness he did what he would always do with the boy in this situation. He stepped closer and pulled the warm sheets off of you in a quick move, the change of temperature would surely help you wake up.

What he did not expect was that the nightgown you were wearing had krept up, exposing your legs and a small part of your thigh. His breath caught in his throat, his eyes lingered for a second before he snapped them away from you and he tossed the sheets over your body again, covering you more then they had before he had moved them.

You moved the pillow from your head, having felt the sheets move away and return “What are you doing ?”

He was very grateful you were facing away from him, so you could not see his flushed face “Waking you up. Get up, the boy is waiting for us.”

Lancelot hurried out of your room, making sure to close the door behind him.

He took a sharp breath as he tried to calm himself down. Having that image in his mind would _not_ help with pushing aside his feelings for you at all. He dragged his hand over his face as he walked ouside where the boy was waiting.

OOOOOoooOOOOOOOOOOOOOooO

You finally rolled out of bed and got dressed before going outside. Lancelot did not look pleased with you being late, but his annoyed expression was highly amusing to you. Something you could barely hide as you smirked smugly and stopped a few feet away from him. Percival was sitting on the ground chewing on a piece of bread as his eyes darted between you and him. He had intented to just teach you some tricks today, but when he saw the smug smirk on your face he changed his plans.

Lancelot stalked over to you with a look of determination “You need to learn how to get out of a dangerous situation.”

For a moment he did look intimidating again, his eyes appeared darker and you backed away, otherwise he would have run into you. He pulled a dagger from the holster on his belt. You end up backing up until your back hit a tree behind you.

“What are you-” You stammered nervously, not expecting that.

He pushed you up against the tree, holding the hilt of his dagger against your throat "Try to break free."

Oh.

And you did as he instructed. You clawed at his arm, you tried to punch him in the ribs, knee him in the groin. Everything. But it didn't work, you wouldn't stand a chance if someone would do this to hurt you. If anything, it only seemed to amuse Lancelot to see you getting slowly frustrated.

Lancelot noticed you were giving up and encouraged you "Try again, y/n. Don't give up."

You grabbed his arm but he didn't budge. You let your arms drop in defeat and let out a frustrated groan "Just pretend to kill me already. This is just humiliating now."

A chuckle actually escaped him at your words "Giving up already ?"

You quirked a brow at him, rolling your eyes "Yes. Not all of us can fight like you."

He wondered if the compliment was intended "I will teach you, y/n. But it will take time, you must have patience."

You started to ramble visibly frustrated now "Do I look like a patient person to you ? I am not strong enough to defend myself like this. Really, it's no use, I am just bad at this. Maybe we should try something else or -"

As you are talking you suddenly notice that his eyes were focusing on your lips. His gaze lingered there, long enough to make you shiver. He must have noticed as his eyes quickly snapped back up to yours. You had not imagined it, the look in his eyes said it all. Lancelot knew you had caught him staring at your lips. Both of you fell silent, and your breath quickened.

He moved the hilt of the dagger away from you, creating some space so you could move freely again if you wished to do so. Then he slowly lifted his hand up towards your face. Lancelot hesitated before he slowly brushed the outer side of his fingers along your jaw. His thumb brushed your chin lightly, and his eyes searched yours again before falling back on your lips. He leaned closer to you and you could feel his warm breath against your skin. You noticed his breathing was even quicker then yours.

Lancelot was conflicted, he was drawn to you like a moth to a flame. And he feared that if he acted on it, he would get burned. What if you did not want this ? The thought alone terrified him. He pulled back away from you as he took a sharp breath.

That was not what you had expected to happen so you looked at him confused.

"Forgive me..." He stammered before abruptly walking away.

You were completely speechless.

Percival sat there staring with wide eyes, having stopped midchew "What was that ?"

You had almost forgotten that the boy had been watching, your expression mimicked his own.

"I have no idea."

You didn't see him anymore for the rest of the day and if you hadn't seen Goliath outside the house you would have feared he had left again.

Finally you spotted him walking in the village, but when he noticed you he turned on his heels and walked in the other direction. Lancelot had hoped you hadn't seen him but hurried footsteps behind him alerted him that you had.

"What happened this morning? Why did you storm off like that ?" You tried to keep up with his quick pace. Lancelot wished you had not ran after him now, his mind was racing and you being near him only made it worse. When he did not reply to you, you grabbed his arm stopping his fast stride. "Stop running will you !" You exclaimed frustrated. "I'm not running." He clearly did not want to talk to you. You scoffed and crossed your arms over your chest "Really ? Could have fooled me." Lancelot did not look at you and his strange silence was driving you insane. "What was that this morning ? Why did you... and then you..." You gestured to him, scrambling for the words "...stormed off. What's going on ? Please, talk to me, Lancelot." No matter how much you tried to make eye-contact, he avoided looking you in the eyes. It was then that the question fell from your lips "Wait...are you in love with me ?"

His eyes snapped to yours and he felt sheer panic now. Lancelot believed it sounded as an accusation. One that was true, but still... "Don't be absurd." He tried to sound casual but failed as his voice pitched a bit. It came out sounding harsher then he would ever intend it to. You crossed your arms again at his answer and scoffed loudly "Absurd ? ABSURD ?! What is that supposed to mean ? What ? Am I so appalling that it would be ' _absurd_ ' to you ?!" He was not expecting you to react insulted, it was not meant to be an insult yet you had understood it as such. You had no idea how wrong you were to think that. Appalling ? If you only knew how enticing you were to him, especially now when that fire was burning in your eyes. Lancelot had responded with the words he now regretted out of sheer panic. He didn't know how to tell you how he really felt out of fear for your reaction and by doing that he had managed to still upset you. You couldn't look at him, you felt so embarrassed and wished you had never asked.

"You could have just said ' _No_ ', Lancelot." You quietly said as you stepped past him.

He sighed, frustrated at himself. As he felt you brush past him to walk away, he quickly stopped you in place with a hand gently yet firmly wrapped around your upper arm. You turned and looked at him questioningly. Before you could speak he cupped your face, leaned in and pressed his lips to yours vigorously. He lingered for just a moment before pulling away to read your reaction. Your eyes were wide and your pupils dilated, he worried about the last thing as he had seen the same thing happen in the eyes of people who then had tried to kill him. Lancelot's mind had gone blank, all he could think about was kissing you again. But he wouldn't, not until he knew that it was what you wanted as well. Not until he knew you harbored the same kind of feelings for him.

You felt frozen to the spot, a chill had went up your spine and down your shoulders when he had kissed you. It was unexpected, especially since he had claimed he wasn't in love with you just moments ago. "Why did you..." Your mind was swimming with questions. He's not in love with you and still he just kissed you ? You came to one conclusion. Even though you had feelings for him, you were not going to just give yourself to him if he didn't feel the same. You refused to be used and tossed aside like a toy someone would get bored of. "So, _now_ you decide to kiss me ? You're not even in love with me ! You just said it was absurd !" You got defensive. Lancelot panicked, this was going horribly wrong "Y/n, I-" "I don't want to hear your excuses ! Just leave me alone !" Your voice was shaky. You quickly walked away from him. You walked all the way home and slammed the door shut. A sob escaped you and you hid your face in your hands. Why couldn't you just go back to hating him ? It was easier then. Now it hurts. It hurt to know that the thought of him being in love with you was absurd to him. It hurt because _you_ were in love with him, you loved him as strongely as you had once hated him.

OooOOOOoooOOOoOOoOOOooOooOO

You hadn't left your room since you got home out of fear that you would have to face Lancelot after that disaster. Now you were glad you hadn't actually told him how you felt, it would have been even worse. Still, his words rang through your mind.

“ _Don't be absurd.”_

Hearing him say that, as if the idea was utterly ridiculous to him, hurt far more then if he would have just said ' _no_ '. And then he kissed you, he actually dared to kiss you after bluntly telling you he had no such feelings for you. It made it even more painful because it meant _nothing_. He was no longer with the paladins and it seemed he no longer would act as a monk would, but that didn't mean you should become a test object of sorts to him. But that was how it felt. Friend or not, you would not let someone treat you like this.

You pulled the sheets over your head, hoping that soon you would find some peace in sleep.

Then someone knocked on your door. You had hoped it was Percival knocking on your door but the knock sounded weak and hesitant. This was not the boy, the boy would never be this patient to wait before knocking again. You held your breath, you did not want to face him now. The embarrassment that your question had cost and his answer to it still cut deep. Besides, you had been crying and the last thing you wanted was for him to know that. You did not call out to him and were grateful you had locked your door this time.

You kept quiet and listened until you heard his receding footsteps. What would you even say if you faced him ?

No, you needed some time to process this alone.

You already knew you would have to get up before dawn if you wished to avoid facing him. The last thing you wanted to do was train with him tomorrow, not after what happened the last time today.

Finally sleep came and carried you into a dreamless sleep.

OoooOOOoooOOOoOOoOOOooOooOO

The next morning Lancelot knocked on your door again and realised you were already awake and gone. It was then he knew you really did not want to speak or face him. He didn't even know what to say if he were to face you, had he blundered so gravely that you would avoid him now ? It proved to be true as the following days the same happened. He had tried to speak to you, but you dodged him to the point that it was impressive even. Then he decided to give you some space, to respect your unspoken wish that he let you be. In the hope that soon you would come to him to talk. As of then you had only spoken to Percival, and on the second day the boy had told him you wanted to be left alone for a while. Lancelot knew this was not aimed at Percival as well, this was just about him leaving you be. And after kissing you and upsetting you he found that an understandable request. But that didn't mean that he didn't wish he could just talk to you again. You were so close everyday, his room next to yours, yet so far away.

But a question kept going through his mind when he recalled your reaction to his unfortunate answer, and not knowing the answer was driving him insane.


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Days went by and the lack of communication between you and Lancelot is driving him insane. He can bear it no longer and it seems the distance it created between the both of you makes room for others to try and swoop in. He realises he will have to confront you before he loses you.

Three days.

That's how long you hadn't spoken to Lancelot and it seemed that he was respecting the request you had shared with the boy. It had given you the chance to let the situation cool down. You often passed him by in silence in the village, you were getting tired of avoiding him. But being around him, knowing what you knew now hurt. You needed to push your feelings aside soon or risk losing a friend. If you could some day soon muster up the courage to speak to him, to face him, you could talk about boundaries that you didn't want crossed. But you didn't feel ready to do that, and you were very aware of that when you went to complete your assigned chore for that day. Nyra had send you to help wash some linen with some other people. A group of people were already chatting away about things while washing linen in buckets when you arrived at the spot. You cursed under your breath when you noticed Lancelot was busy caring for Goliath close to the spot you would be working at. He noticed you instantly and the two of you made eye contact, he nodded once, a greeting. And you did the same, it was more interaction then you had had in days with him.

A women carrying a bucket bumped into you, and uttered a quick apology to you when she saw she had spilled some water on you “Oh, no...I'm so sorry.” You waved away her worries and smiled at her “It's alright, it's just water.” The woman smiled but it didn't go to her eyes “Better then fire.” Your smile faltered, something about the way she had just said that seemed strange to you “I believe so...” You gave a polite nod and she walked away from you, and you went to start your chore. After washing linen for a while in silence, a man who was also in the group approached you. He looked a bit older then you. "Hello... sorry, I have not seen you before. My name is Tobias, may I ask what your name is ?" He spoke confidently but warmly and held out his hand to you. You did not recognize the man either, but you had not been there long and it was impossible to know everyone so soon. "Oh, hello! Of course. I'm y/n. I didn't arrive here long ago." You shook his hand. He seemed suprised to hear your name "So, you are the famous Fey Guardian ? The fey talk about you a lot." "Good things, I hope ?" No, really. You were worried. "Of course. But they failed to mention how lovely you are." He answered, flashing a smile. It was hard to hide how flustered you got, the compliment was so unexpected. And back in Mirstone the people feared your brother far too much to show such blantant interest in you. You didn't really know how to respond to such direct flattery and got nervous.

Neither of you noticed how Lancelot was glaring daggers at the back of Tobias's head. The man looked harmless and polite, and you didn't seem to mind that he came to talk to you.

He had seen the man in the village before. It had come to his attention that in the past couple of days, Tobias had been in your vicinity, but as far as Lancelot knew the man had not approached you before. It was as if Tobias had waited until he was certain that there was a _'distance'_ between you and Lancelot now. Something that did not sit well with him, it made him aware that the man did not want his presence near you. It also made Tobias's intentions very obvious. Tobias had waited for a perfect time to swoop in, the time where the bond that had formed between you and him was wavering. It was clear to him why the man had come to speak to you, the direct flattery Tobias had aimed at you left little to the imagination. Here he was, watching how you conversed with the man while he had tried to talk to you for days now. He knew it was his blunder that had caused this. If only he had thought his words through before accidentally insulting you. Lancelot pushed away the envy he felt, it would do him no good. You could talk to whoever you wanted to talk to. He just wished he was one of those people again. The silence between the both of you now was far worse then all the bickering that had happened between you. He realised that he _missed_ the bickering. At least you didn't seem as comfortable around the man as you had once been around him, he found comfort in that knowledge.

Then to Lancelot's suprise and even your own, Tobias turned his attention on him. "I know who you are though. Everyone here does." The tone of his voice was completely different now, it was hostile, something both of you noticed. Tobias approached Lancelot, stopping not far from him "The notorious _Weeping Monk_. I'm suprised you dare to show your face here after what you did." Lancelot now looked at the man, he knew Tobias was trying to get a reaction out of him. You frowned at the scene unfolding before your eyes, who would be stupid enough to go and seek a confrontation with Lancelot ? You approached Tobias and warned him "Leave him be, Tobias." Tobias ignored your warning and continued to provoke Lancelot "They should have burned _you_ alive when you walked out of those tunnels." Your mouth fell open in shock, did he really just say that ?! The fact that Tobias, a man-blood, was telling that to Lancelot who was a fey, made your blood boil. Sure, Lancelot had hurt your feelings but you weren't going to watch how Tobias was verbally attacking the person who had saved your life. Lancelot didn't respond, although it took him all his willpower not to. The man was throwing his past in his face once again, and he hated how he got under his skin. You moved so you were facing Tobias now, your voice reached a higher octave when you snapped in anger “How dare you say that ?! Lancelot is fey ! How can you wish that upon anyone ?!" Tobias shrugged and gestured to him “The paladins would have done it themselves if they would have had the chance I bet. They'd have to burn one of their own for once." Something inside of you snapped when he had said that "I SAID LEAVE HIM ALONE !" Then as you lost the last bit of your patience you slapped Tobias hard accross the face. Tobias took a step back at your unexpected outburst. And so did Lancelot, he'd almost forgotten how quick you could be. You had caught him off-guard with it once and of course someone like Tobias would never see it coming either. Lancelot couldn't keep his eyes off of you after seeing you take a defensive stance and practically yelling in the man's face. He had not seen you this angry in a while, he had missed seeing that fire in your eyes. You looked enthralling to him like this and he felt his heart quicken. Tobias however looked terrified, not expecting to anger you with his provocations aimed at Lancelot. Tobias awkwardly tried to fix the damage "I... suppose he must have some good virtues if you're defending...him. " The angry glare did not leave your eyes, you were seething "They call me the Fey Guardian for a reason, Lancelot _is_ fey. You will have to go through me before you will get to him. Leave. Him. Alone." in a mocking tone you added "Don't you have linen to wash, Tobias ?" It looked like he got the hint as he walked back to the others of the group who had been staring at the strange display.

Lancelot had not expected you to defend him, not after you had refused to talk to him for days. And yet you had done just that. You had stepped between him and Tobias acting like a protective barrier. He didn't believe he could love you anymore then he already did. But after seeing you slapping someone who bothered him, with that fire in your eyes that always enthralled him, he knew he was wrong to think that. His heart swelled at the knowledge that even now, you still felt protective of him. Lancelot slowly walked over to you, preparing for another attempt to try and speak with you "Y/n..." "Leave me alone..." You uttered weakly as you walked past him back to the group to continue with the chore you were given. The way you had spoken those words...you had sounded so tired and upset. He couldn't take it anymore, he wished to have some form of communication with you. It didn't matter if you would scream at him, at least that would be something. The silence now was unbearable.

He would wait until you were home to approach you again, hoping that by then he would know what to say.

OoooOOOoooOOOoOOoOOOooOooOO

You were sitting at the table, waiting for Percival to come home, when Lancelot walked inside the house. The last couple of days you had avoided being in the same room with him, but now you forced yourself to stay in the room. You didn't feel ready to talk with him yet but you didn't want to continue avoiding him like this. You just looked down and kept your focus on the plate of food in front of you. And still the tension cut through the air between you. Lancelot had expected you to leave the room again, something you had done these past few days when he would be in the same room as you. But now you showed no intention to do so and he felt hopeful.

He hoped that perhaps you would speak to him now “Is Percival home ?”

Lancelot had hoped to sound casual but his voice shook just a little, he knew the boy was not home, he had seen him outside moments ago. It was a question to see if you would engage in conversation. He watched as you shook your head, not even looking at him as you did.

“No.” You replied quietly.

The silence that fell between you was even more uncomfortable then it was before the question. He waited to see if you would speak again but it soon became clear that that was not going to happen. The fact that you were in the same room as him but still didn't want to talk to him was even more painful then you avoiding him. You were so close but so far away at the same time to him. He had mustered up the courage to confront you about this situation, and he wasn't going to let you avoid it anymore. It was clear even to him that neither of you were happy with how things were going now. But he knew you were stubborn and this would not be so easy.

After another moment of uncomfortable silence he took a step in your direction “Y/n ?”

You had a feeling he was trying to start a conversation and you were panicking inside. You quickly stood up from the chair you were sitting at, abandoning the food on the table. Lancelot's frustration grew as he saw how you were starting to leave the room, he turned to speak in your direction but almost buckled over and groaned when the movement send a sharp pain shooting through his abdomen. One of the wounds near his abdomen had taken a hit when he was training the boy today. It was nothing serious but some blood had stained his shirt, the bleeding however had long stopped by now.

You stopped in your tracks when you saw he was in physical pain “Lancelot ?” your eyes fell on the blood on his clothes “You're bleeding...”

Seeing him in pain with blood staining his clothes made you push your own feelings aside as you hurried over to him.

He was glad that you were talking to him now, but there was a more urgent matter then his health that he wished to talk to you about. He could handle the physical pain, but the suffering of his mental state was another thing “It's nothing, a wound bled when I was training the boy.”

You took a deep breath, trying to focus “Show me, let me take a look at it.”

He watched as you took a step closer to him, part of him wanted nothing more then to feel your hands on his skin again. But it would only make matters worse as long as the air was not cleared between you. Lancelot stepped back, he would no longer delay this confrontation “No.”

"Just let me help you, damnit !" You were exasperated, the fact that your feelings were hurt did not mean that you wanted him to be in pain. You would push them aside for as long as it would take to help him.

"No." He said firmly and stepped away from you and gestured with his hand, letting you know to stay back "We need to talk."

You didn't like the sound of that, even though you knew what this would be about you pretended that you didn't "About what ?"

He sighed loudly as he scoffed "About how I upset you."

You balanced your weight on your other leg and crossed your arms "I'm fine. Forget about it."

"I cannot just forget about it, y/n ! I cannot ignore it ! There is something I keep thinking back to." He kept his distance from you. His voice was filled with a mixture of sadness and frustration.

You had not seen him like this before, his stoicism was gone and you saw a flood of different emotions wash over him. _Him_. The man who always seemed to hide his true feelings was now displaying so many of them all at once. Despair, frustration.. one stood out above the others. One was present in his eyes. _Anguish_. He was suffering and not just in the physical sense of the word. It was as if you lost your voice seeing him like this. At your silence he continued, it sounded more like he was trying to figure something out for himself.

Lancelot avoided looking at your face as he rambled his thoughts "When you asked me that question. And I answered in a, I admit, very unfortunate way. Did I _insult_ you because I called it “ _absurd'_ ? Or did I _upset_ you because you wished I had answered 'yes' ?"

His voice was laced with sorrow and now he looked at you. His eyes locking on yours as if he tried to find the answer to his question within them. It felt as if he could look right into your soul and you casted your eyes down at his unyielding gaze.

"It doesn't matter." It almost came out as a whisper as you tried to keep yourself from crying in front of him. Why did it matter when he did not feel that way about you ?

"It matters to me, y/n !" The despair in his voice was audible as it reached a higher octave.

Your eyes snapped to him at his outburst.

He took a second to calm himself down "Please. Please, tell me the truth. I don't want this to cause a rift between us. You and the boy... you're all I have."

You felt the tears sting in your eyes when he had said that. The pain in his voice cut you deep. He feared he had blundered so greatly that way that it had undone all the trust that had build between you. That it had been the thing that made you hate him again.

You gave a small nod, looking back at the ground, you croaked out "The latter."

Lancelot let out the breath he had been holding as he begged for your answer. It was not the answer he expected but it was the one he had hoped for the most. You had wanted him to answer 'yes' when you had asked him if he was in love with you. And by hiding his true feelings, he had unfortunately hurt yours. Did this mean you were in love with him too ? It felt too good to be true "You wanted me to say ' _yes_ ' ?"

You quietly answered "Yes. But it doesn't matter. You called it absurd so...let's forget it ever happened. I'm sorry I was acting differently, I just needed some time alone. I won't abandon you because of it, you don't have to worry."

Lancelot felt a mixture of emotions clash inside of him. You believed he didn't love you, you were hurt because of it but would still not abandon him even though it clearly upset you. He felt a hopeful smile tug at the corner of his mouth. He had a confession to make "I reacted the way I did because I feared how you would react to the truth. If you would know how I felt..." Lancelot took a deep shaky breath "I didn't want my feelings for you to damage the ' _truce_ ' we have. I did not want to scare you away from me. It seems that by not telling you about it, I have harmed our friendship anyway."

The corner of your lips turned up a bit at him saying 'truce'. Was he trying to say what you thought he was trying to say ? Or did he mean he only saw you as a friend and he didn't want to hurt you ? What sort of feelings did he mean ?

"By feelings... do you mean your feelings for me as a friend ?" Now it was you who needed clarification.

Lancelot looked at you, his mouth slightly agape as he searched for the words. Then he narrowed his eyes, not believing that you didn't understand damn well what kind of feelings he meant.

"You know what sort of feelings I am talking about, y/n." His voice carrying slight frustration.

"I don't." It was a half-truth. You needed to be sure.

He smirked at you and sighed long and deep "You're maddening..." he watched as your expression changed and before you could speak your mind at him he finished his sentence "...and I love you."

The spoken truth brought silence between the both of you. You would almost think you had imagined him saying it, that is how surreal it felt. He had just called you maddening and declared his love for you only a second later. Nyra was right, Lancelot was in love with you. No one had ever said those words to you before, not with that meaning behind them. Then he frowned for a second before clarifying “And not just as a friend, I feel _more_ then friendship for you.” Lancelot almost whispered to himself when he added “Much more.”

You were nervously fumbling with your fingers, your eyes darting around the room as you thought of what to say.

Your voice was unsteady “That's why you wanted to kiss me...”

His eyes focused on your face, trying to read your expression as he nodded “I should have said something...instead of just...” he gestured to you, looking remorseful about what he had done “It will not happen again. Not, unless...”

You looked at him now, anxiously waiting for what he was going to say.

His eyes locked on yours as he finished his sentence “... _you_ want it to.”

There was an unspoken question in his eyes, he had just confessed his deepest feelings for you and you wondered if you were brave enough to do the same.

He so deeply wished to hear you say that you loved him too, that it was why you had been upset. He _needed_ to hear you say it.

You took one step closer to him, your thoughts were racing when you stammered “Lancelot... I-”

The door creaked open and a pale looking Percival stepped inside "Y/n ?" Both your attention was on the boy now and your eyes widened in shock when you saw that Percival's lower arm was covered in blood.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was supposed to be a quick run to the infirmary. But as time passes and the whispers start to haunt Lancelot, he knows something is not right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Violence, death, angst.

You hurried over to the boy, kneeling in front of him as you took his arm in your hands "What on earth happened ?" Percival shrugged his shoulders, grimacing down at his arm "I was sharpening my knife and it slipped." Lancelot was quick to grab a piece of clean cloth and wetted it with water before cleaning the blood away from the cut. You could see the cut better now, it wasn't deep but it definitely needed stitches. You looked up at Lancelot "Can you get me the little box I used to help you? It's in my room." Lancelot gave a quick nod before making his way to your room. You looked at the boy sympathetic "Don't worry, I will stitch the wound shut. Does it hurt a lot ?" Percival shook his head but it was obvious that he was trying to hide the pain "I can barely feel it." You quirked a brow, but weren't suprised that the boy would act like everything was fine. There was another person in the house that would do to same.

After giving him something against the pain, you stitched the wound on his arm. He tried to put on a brave face but Percival's eyes still widened at the sight of the needle. Lancelot noticed the fear in the boy's eyes and placed a hand on his shoulder as you worked on his arm. The boy had appeared fearless towards the Trinity Guards and Brother Salt, but it seemed that needles was where the boy drew the line. He squeezed the boy's shoulder, giving him a reassuring look "It's going to be alright." Lancelot would have told the boy he didn't have to be afraid but he knew the boy would deny being afraid of a needle. It appeared his choice of words worked as the boy looked up at him and relaxed a little. You noticed the silent exchange of looks between them and smiled softly up at Lancelot when he looked down at you. Luckily for Percival it did not take long for you to finish stitching the wound up. You went to grab the salve and that was when you noticed you had run out. You cussed under your breath, Lancelot looked at you inquiring. You held the empty bowl up "I have to go and fetch some new salve at the infirmary." He gave a nod and as you walked past him you spoke quietly so the boy wouldn't hear, knowing that Percival would surely react to it "I won't be gone long. Will you stay with the boy until I return ? He looks shaken, somebody needs to make sure he's alright." Lancelot gave a quick nod, of course he would look after the boy. He had been in the same situation when he was the boy's age and many times before and after that, he had always wished someone would have cared for him in such a way when he was young. "I'll look after him. We will await your return." He whispered back to you. You put a hand on his upper arm and squeezed it as you walked past him and out of the house. The small gesture brought a smile to his face. He watched as you left the house before putting his attention on the boy.

OoooOOOoooOOOoOOoOOOooOooOO

The sun was going down as you arrived at the Infirmary. Upon arrival the healer informed you that he had ran out of the right plants and flowers to make the necessary salve for Percival's wound. You offered to go to into the forest to fetch them. After a quick conversation the healer had given you a list of things he needed and you headed out, hoping that you would find the necesarry items quickly before it got too dark outside.

As you searched for the right plants you thought back to the conversation with Lancelot. It was clear now that he shared the same feelings for you and you wondered what would have happened if Percival had not walked in. The poor boy had cut his arm while he was sharpening his knife, luckily it wasn't anything bad and it only took a few stitches to close the wound. Seeing Lancelot care for the wounded boy was incredibly endearing to see. Today you had seen him, his stoic masquerade had vanished and you had seen just how deeply he cared about you and the boy. He was braver then you were, you had wanted to tell him you loved him too but were flooded by anxiety. This was all so new to you. But as you searched the forest for the items you had time to think and realised that that anxiety did not feel like a bad thing. You were just nervous for what was to come now. You had no idea how things would go now but you weren't alone in this. It was new for him too and this meant you would get to explore all of it together. A smile tugged at your lips as you picked a flower you needed from the ground. The sound of rustling leaves made you turn around.

Your eyes fell on a woman that looked familiar “Oh, hi !”

It was the woman that had bumped into you earlier that day and had spilled the water on you. "Hello, I'm Bryla. You're the one they talk about. The one that warned our camps ?" She smiled at you and spoke softly. "I am. My name is y/n." You replied politely “We met earlier today, we bumped into each other. Remember ?”

She gave a nod “I remember. I spilled the water on you.”

You recalled the strange answer she had give you and parroted it, hoping to make the woman realise that you weren't upset about it “Better then fire.”

The smile she send you did not reach her eyes “Fire... so much fire...” Then a tear fell from her eyes. Had you said something wrong ? Perhaps she was traumatized ? Maybe the Red Paladins had burned her home ?

You stepped close to her and embraced her, placing a hand on her back to comfort her "Hey, it's alright..."

Only... you didn't hear her cry nor sniffle. Then your eyes widened and you gasped when you felt something sharp being pushed inside your abdomen. The pain came only seconds later. "You will always be the Huntsman's sister. The blood of the Fey is on your hands too!" She spoke viciously. You tried to pull the object out of you, but she pushed it further into you in response. It was now clear to you that she was stabbing you with a dagger. You felt her twist the blade before she finally pulled it out of you. You sank to your knees, your hands clutched your abdomen, blood was flowing out of you. And the pain was unspeakable, like your abdomen was on fire. A hot piercing pain spread across your stomach. She stepped away from you, her eyes distant. As if she wasn't truly aware of what she had just done. And then she just left as you fell on your side. You tried to breath but your breaths got shorter and shorter. Your mind went to Magnolia, was this what she had felt before she died ?

It went to Percival, the boy you had grown to see as your own child. You would not see him grow into the brave knight he would surely become under Lancelot's guidance. And as you felt yourself grow weaker and colder, you thought about Lancelot. What could have been had you had more time. You wished he was here, so you would not be so scared, you were never scared when he was near. You didn't want to die alone like Magnolia. You closed your eyes and barely registered the tears falling from your eyes. Sound was fading out as if you were underwater. Your vision became blurry.

You felt so cold. Darkness overtook you as your last breath left your lungs.

OoooOOOoooOOOoOOoOOOooOooOO

It appeared that a plate of food works wonders on the wounded boy. After you had left Lancelot had brought the boy something to eat and Percival had almost forgotten all about the needle. He had taken an apple for himself to eat, he found himself staring at it for a moment. A smile tugging at his lips when he thought back to the moment you had given him an apple as a sign of gratitude once. He had split the apple in half to share with you, how fitting the memory now was to him and you. How far you had come since that day. Once you had hated him, and now... now deep down he began to believe you loved him. He had not heard you say it, he had wished to hear you say it, and perhaps soon you would. But maybe you wouldn't, of course it would sadden him greatly but at least you were no longer upset with him. He would still have your friendship. Right now he was just glad that the misunderstanding was solved, glad that he had admitted how he felt about you. What came next was something he could only nervously await. He looked at the boy who was wolfing down his food at a rather spectacular speed. Lancelot quirked a brow before turning his attention back on the apple, bringing it to his mouth to take a bite. The second he had opened his mouth to bite the apple he _froze_.

_The whispers._

He could hear them... why was he hearing them now ?

They were faint, weak and unintelligible. He brushed his thumb over the apple as he walked to look out the window, it was dark outside now. The whispers continued, they were not calling to him, no. There was something different about them now. Lancelot looked at the apple in his hand again, he had been so lost in his thoughts that he had lost track of time. Why were you not back yet ?

“Percival, grab your jacket.” He kept his focus on the apple as he spoke to the boy.

The boy stopped mid-chew to look at him mildly annoyed “What ?”

Now he looked at the boy, a strange empty feeling settled within him “Grab your jacket. We're going to the infirmary.”

Percival scrunched his nose "Why ? Y/n said she would go." Lancelot sighed at the boy and put down the apple on the table, the boy could be just as stubborn as you were "She did." The boy rolled his eyes and got up to put on his jacket "Why are you always following her around ? If you like her so much just tell her, you idiot." Lancelot opened the door for the boy before following him outside still lost in thought, unaware the boy had intended to taunt him with his words. "I did." He blurted out, not truly realising what he had just done. The whispers drew his attention away from the conversation. The boy's head snapped up at him as he squeaked "You did WHAT ?!" His attention snapped back to the boy when he realised what he had done, he didn't stop walking but the boy did for a moment. Percival looked at him bewildered as he called out loudly after him "YOU DID WHAT ?!"

The walk to the infirmary felt like the longest walk he had ever taken as the boy kept questioning him. Lancelot avoided answering his train of questions, it would be unwise to speak of this now. A lot was still unclear, and in truth, he did not know how to answer some questions the boy asked him. One question in particular he could give no certain answer to. Percival looked up at him as he asked "And y/n ? Does _she_ like you that way ?" He looked down at the boy, almost suprised that the boy was not taunting him about it "I am not sure. Not yet." Percival seemed deep in thought for a moment as an unusual silence fell. The boy was rarely ever silent for this long. "She does." The boy suddenly said, causing Lancelot to look at him "I don't understand _why_. But she does." Lancelot narrowed his eyes at the boy, detecting the attempt to taunt him "Why do you think that ?" The boy looked at him as if he had asked him something stupid "Nyra says she looks at you differently. She says you look like you're in love. The both of you." after a short pause the boy shook his head and added "With each other." Had it been this obvious to other people ? Until now he thought no one suspected something. Lancelot brushed a hand over his chin, they were close to the infirmary now. "It's true then ? You love y/n ?" Percival's eyes were focusing on his face, waiting expectantly for his answer. At least this question he could answer honestly. He drew a sharp breath before answering "I do." The boy actually flashed a smile, seeming oddly pleased with that answer. Lancelot felt the need to ensure the boy of something "We will see what the future will bring for us. Whatever happens, I will not abandon anyone, not you and not her. I need you to know that, Percival. I care for you as if you were my family." then he corrected himself "You are family to me. I will do everything in my power to protect the both of you." For a moment the boy was silent again, clearly not expecting what he had just been told. Then he turned back to his old snarky self "Alright, alright, you don't have to be so dramatic about it. Sheesh." The boy rolled his eyes, not showing how much it meant to him to hear Lancelot say that. Still the boy smiled a little shyly at him and Lancelot felt himself doing the same. Finally he arrived at the infirmary, he saw no lights coming from inside as he knocked on the door.

It took a while before the door opened, the healer had clearly been asleep. "Oh, are you here for the boy ? Y/n told me he had a cut on his arm." The healer yawned as he looked at the boy. Lancelot shook his head "No... y/n has not returned home yet. We thought she would still be here..." The healer frowned at that and shook his head "She is not here. I had no materials to make the salve for the boy and she volunteered to go get the necessary plants and flowers. She went into the forest but that was two hours ago or more." Lancelot stared at the man as the whispers came to him again, faint and weak. Hauntingly seeking his attention. Percival looked up at him in alarm "But it's dark ! She wouldn't stay in the forest in the dark." Lancelot nodded in agreement, turning his attention on the healer again "You're saying she has not returned to the infirmary since she left here ?" The healer nodded "I haven't seen her since." Just as the healer had confirmed that, Nyra walked up to them. "Percival. Lancelot." She greeted them with a inquisitive look "Is something the matter ?" Lancelot stepped away from the healer as he spoke quietly to Nyra "Something is wrong. Y/n had gone to the infirmary to retrieve salve for the boy's wounded arm. She went into the forest to find the necessary materials, but she has not returned to the infirmary since. It's been hours." Nyra shared his alarmed look now, this did not sound good at all "I'll gather some people, we will search the village for her." Lancelot gave a grateful nod and looked at the boy for a second before looking back to Nyra "I will search the forest for her. Will you look after the boy for a moment ? I'd prefer not to take him with me into the forest in the dark." One missing person was enough, he couldn't risk losing the boy from his sight especially not in the dark. She gave a nod and beckoned for Percival as she handed the boy the torch she was carrying "Come, boy. Let us search the village for her." The boy gave a quick nod as they quickly walked away from Lancelot.

At first there were only seven people, but by the time Lancelot had reached Goliath the number of people that had awoken had more then doubled. Soon the fire from the torches illuminated the dark village as those who volunteered searched the village for you. He could hear them speak to one another as he rode towards the forest. The fey had not forgotten what you had done for them. He rarely heard them speak your name, but he did hear them say the title they had bestowed upon you. One sentence fell from many lips, breaking the silence of the night.

“ _Find the Fey Guardian.”_


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lancelot searches the forest to find you.

A strong feeling of dread had settled inside of him, a pit grew in his stomach as he rode Goliath into the forest. He had felt a strange feeling of emptiness the moment the whispers had first called to him tonight. They sounded both haunting and soothing, the sound of the whispers draped over him like a cloak. Lancelot called out your name but no reply ever came. And still he could sense you were in the forest, the voices that had spoken to him ever since he was little were incomprehensible, but they drew him deeper into the forest. Deep down he already knew, he could tell by the whispers, the last time he had heard them sound like this was when he had lost his family. He refused to let the feeling in, refused to listen to it. He had to find you. You must have just gotten lost in the forest. Soon you would be home again, with him and the boy. His newfound family that he never thought he would ever have. He would keep you safe, you and the boy.

After another hour he spotted something in the distance and the whispers grew louder. Hauntingly, soothingly, conflicting within him.  
Lancelot called out your name again, but still no reply came. He hastily approached the spot and when he was close enough to see what it was, he stopped breathing.  
 _It was you._  
This time he desperately called out to you and dismounted Goliath quickly.  
He ran to you, landing on his knees beside you and all the hope he had still kept inside was shattered at the sight of you. Blood stained your clothes and the grass below you. He craddled you against him, you felt so cold.  
He knew you were gone, and still he softly spoke your name.

“ _Y/n..”_

 _  
_As if you were just sleeping.  
 _An endless sleep._  
He brushed the hair from your eyes, he would never see the fire and life in them again. That fire that had ignited something he never believed was inside of him until he met you.  
He knew and he still checked for a pulse in your neck and in your wrist.  
 _Nothing._  
It was then that he allowed himself to break. To give in to the suffering. _To shatter._

His hands were now covered with your blood but he craddled your head against his chest as he wept heavily, gasping for air but none of it truly filled his lungs.  
 _He lost you._  
Lancelot did all he could think of in that moment.  
 _He prayed._  
He begged to anyone or anything that would listen. Begged that you would wake from your endless sleep.  
He wished for it like he had never wished for anything before. Where was the god he had served for so long ? His chest heaved heavily with his sobs. He had finally found his purpose. You and the boy, the family he had always longed for. And now those hopes and dreams were shattered. Stolen fromk him.  
You were _the one_ that had saved him, _the friend_ that he had longed for, and the woman that _he loved_. And you were gone, now laying lifeless in his arms. He pushed his forehead to yours as tears fell from his eyes.

  
“Please…” a mere whisper that left his lips.

_A plea._

_A prayer._

“Please, come back…I love you…”

  
_A plea._

_A prayer._

_  
A wish loud enough for anyone that would listen._

Whispers loud enough only for him to hear, grew louder and closer.

_Haunting him._

_Soothing him._

_  
_He pressed his lips to your now tear stained forehead.  
Lancelot closed his eyes. He no longer prayed. The god he had served did not acknowledge him. He stroked your cheek with his thumb as he tried to calm down.

“Please…come back to me, y/n.” A wish falling from his lips.

  
_A wish that was heard._

  
  
He did not even feel it, the despair overwhelmed all his senses. The pattern of leaves spread over his hands.  
The whispers were closer, they were envelopping him as he held you close.  
Drowning out all other sounds, he could feel them inside of him now.  
It was the rustling that made him open his eyes. Plants and leaves were growing from the ground at rapidly and started to envelope you. Lancelot didn’t understand what was happening but the whispers soothed his worries and fears. The leaves covered your abdomen, flowers started to form among them. And he recognised the flowers.  
 _Magnolias._  
His heart quickened, what was happening ?  
The whispers were loud and soothed him, and then the flowers bloomed.  
He didn’t move an inch at the sight. Then he saw how the flower shaped pendant around your neck began to change. It’s wooden leaves opened as it appeared to bloom.  
It stayed like that for a moment until the leaves retreated and the flowers simply withered. The wooden pendant returned to it’s original state. It all disappeared before his eyes.  
The forest was silent once more. It felt surreal to him now. He held his breath, he could sense something had happened. Something had shifted.  
 _Something was different._  
And then he saw your chest rise and fall, it was so weakly that he believed it was his imagination playing a sick game with him.  
But then you opened your mouth a little and drew a deep breath.  
“Y/n ??” He croaked out, his voice weak.

His hand cupped your face as he held you close against him again.

You tried to speak but you were not strong enough to do so.

He couldn’t believe it, he couldn’t believe you were alive again. Lancelot quickly but carefully scooped you up in his arms and began to carry you towards the village. He would return for Goliath later, he couldn’t get you on the horse in this state.

You weakly grabbed onto his jerkin and whimpered, to weak to open your eyes.

“You’re safe now. I’m here. I’ve got you.” He spoke soothingly to you as he pressed his lips to your forehead once more.

The moment he reached the village with you the people hurried towards him to help. You slipped in and out of consciousness. But you did hear how someone offered to carry you to the infirmary. An offer Lancelot refused as he stubbornly carried you all the way from the forest right to the infirmary.

You vaguely heard Nyra’s and Percival’s voice just before you lost conciousness again.

OoooOOOoooOOOoOOoOOOooOooOO

He had to physically drag Percival away from you and out of the room once he had put you down on the bed in the room where the healer would see to you. The look on the boy’s face one he would never be able to erase from his memories no matter how hard he would try.  
Lancelot sat on the floor beside Percival now, waiting for news. He had wanted to remain by your side but Nyra had reminded him that the boy needed him now. Now Nyra was in the room along with the healer and you and he was left to wonder who had done this to you.  
He had seen the wound, he had seen the damage to your clothes. Someone had stabbed you with a knife, a dagger…something sharp and smaller then a sword.  
Percival sniffled next to him and wiped his face with his sleeve.  
The boy had never been silent for so long and Lancelot looked at him.  
Tears were welling up in the boy’s eyes as he sat there motionless. Visibly in shock after having seen you like that. He wished the boy had not seen you like this.  
He reached out his hand and put it on the back of the boy’s head, brushing his fingers against the boy’s hair, a quiet attempt to comfort him. Percival crossed his arms and pulled his knees to his chest, he bend his head and sobbed as he hid his face between his arms.  
For a while the only noise in the room was the quiet sniffling coming from the boy.  
Then he could feel the boy’s eyes on him, Percival was looking at the blood staining Lancelot’s clothes.  
Lancelot hadn’t even noticed the amount of blood on him until he saw the boy looking at it.  
He swallowed thickly, he had been covered in blood before but this was different. For the first time since many years he couldn’t stand the sight of it. This was _your_ blood, this wasn’t right. None of this was right. He felt the rage boiling inside of him. _Who_ had done this to you ? _Why_ would someone do this to you ?  
The boy sitting besides him was the only thing stopping him from searching for your attacker, from him ending their miserable life.  
  
 _“The boy needs you now.”_  
  
Nyra had told him, stopping him from seeking his vengeance.  
“Is she going to survive ?” The boy asked quietly.  
Lancelot swallowed hard, not long ago you been laying lifeless in his arms. If the boy reacted like this to seeing you in this state, he didn’t want to know how Percival would react to knowing how he had found you in the forest.  
He drew a breath, his voice cracked “She’s strong.”  
He had no idea what your condition was now. He didn’t even understand how you had come back to life.  
“Who hurt y/n ? Did you kill them ?” The boy fired his questions at him rapidly.  
“No.” _Not yet_ Lancelot thought “I found her like this. Alone.”  
 _Alone on the cold ground_ he clenched his hand until his knuckles turned white.  
“She must have been scared.” The boy almost whispered it.  
Lancelot nodded lightly, the frightened whimpers that had come from you as he had carried you were burned into his memory.  
He couldn’t stand the thought that you had died alone like this. In a dark forest. That you must have been laying there for hours while he had waited for you to return home. Murdered and for what ?  
Had someone targeted their grudge against the Huntsman at you ?

  
  


  
Then the door went open and Nyra walked out, Percival jumped to his feet and Lancelot stood only a second later.  
“Is she going to be alright ?” The boy looked at Nyra, eyes wide with silent hope.  
Nyra gave a nod and both of them sighed in relief “She is very tired. But she will be alright. The wound… it’s…”  
Lancelot saw how Nyra seemed rattled by something “What’s wrong ?”  
She shook her head as if she was trying to make sense of something “It’s… healed. There is only a scar but it seems to be healing as well…”

He thought back to what had happened in the forest, how those plants and flowers had enveloped you, had they truly healed you ?  
A villager walked towards them and came to a halt next to Nyra, pulling her attention.  
“One moment, please.” Nyra tilted her head to him and the boy before she had a short conversation with the woman.

Lancelot eyed her suspiciously, he noticed how she suddenly looked nervously in his direction before sending the villager away. Then she approached the both of them again.

Nyra knew but all to well what her next words would unleash in Lancelot “We found the person that attacked, y/n.”  
Lancelot clenched his jaw, the fury in his voice cut through the air like a whip “Who ?”  
She knew if she told him the name, no one would be able to stop him “The woman that did this is a very troubled person. She lost her husband to the Huntsman’s cruelty, since then she…” Nyra sighed “She has come forward and has shown regret for what she did to y/n. It was a moment of madness, she is not an evil person, but she is mentally unwell.”  
Lancelot began to realise Nyra intended to protect this person.  
Had it been just that ? A senseless act of a woman overcome by madness ?

His eyes darkened, his stare like ice, voice dripping with menace “Where is this woman ?”

Nyra straightened her back, she knew he was close to losing his temper. But she had a village to protect and refused to allow more blood to be shed “She is under our surveillance. And she will remain under our surveillance, she is being held in a building along with others who are troubled. She is no threat anymore. She just needs help.”

Something in him snapped, the storm roaring inside of him was spilling out.  
“SHE KILLED HER! SHE LEFT Y/N TO DIE ALONE IN THE FOREST !” He had never raised his voice like this before.

  
Nyra took a large step away from him, fear flashed through her eyes for a second but it disappeared quickly.  
Percival took a step back in suprise as well, his eyes filled with shock at his words “What ?”  
Lancelot’s eyes fell on the boy, he regretted his outburst instantly.  
He had not truly told the boy how he had found you in the forest.  
Nyra looked at him shocked as well now “What did you just say ?”  
He blinked a few times, knowing that he would have to be honest now “When I found her…she was not alive .”  
Horror filled their eyes after he had spoken. The boy shook his head, visibly in shock.  
“But… how…she-” Percival scrambled for the words.  
Nyra narrowed her eyes as she saw Lancelot’s expression, she guessed the answer “You can hear them, don’t you ?”  
Lancelot’s eyes snapped to her, how did she know ? How could she know the whispers spoke to him, the evil voices he was taught to ignore.  
Nyra took a step closer, taking his sudden silence as confirmation. She had heard tales of how the Hidden sometimes aided those who could hear them. Who could call out to them. “You hear them. You can hear the Hidden.”  
Percival’s mouth was agape as he looked up to him “Can you ?”  
Lancelot shook his head visibly confused, he had always believed this was evil calling to him. Tempting him.  
“What exactly is the ‘Hidden’ ?” He finally asked. He had heard of it when he was very young, but had no true recollection of what it meant.  
Nyra explained it to him “They are the voices of Festa and Moreii, lovers born from rivalling clans. They guide and aid the fey, some can hear them. And you must be one of those peope that can call out to them.”  
Lancelot frowned, all this time he had been taught these voices called to him because he was damned.  
"They must have done this. It would make sense for them to safe y/n. They protect the fey, and y/n has done so much for us.” Nyra let out a breath.  
He thought back to the moment in the forest, how he had prayed to the god he was taught to pray to. But it was the voices that came to him. That soothed him and embraced him. It was then that he had felt them inside of him, it was then that he saw the flowers form and bloom.

“I called out to them… to the voices…” He was lost in thought. It was those who he was raised to ignore that had now aided him in his time of need.

“And they must have listened.” Nyra concluded, the corner of her lips turned up.

He silently nodded to her, confirming what she believed had happened.

“So… the Hidden brought her back to life ?” Percival tried to make sense of it all.

Nyra’s eyes darted between Lancelot and the boy “Actually… it was Lancelot that brought her back.”

Lancelot’s eyes snapped up to Nyra “I don’t understand.. I don’t know how…”

This time Nyra smiled at him “You called out to them, to help _you_ , to _save_ her. They saved her because _you_ wanted her to be alive.”

Percival looked at him, eyes filled with wonder “You saved her !”

Lancelot was speechless at the realisation, but it made sense to him. His fey marks had become visible when it had happened, he had felt something strange pass through him onto you. And moments later you were alive again.

Slowly he nodded, he had no idea how he had done. He doubted he could do it again and he hoped it would never be necessary again.

“Can we go see her ?” The boy bursted with excitement.

Nyra gave a nod and gestured to the door “Just know that she is very tired. The healing has taken up a lot of her energy.”

Both of them gave a nod and Lancelot placed his hand on the boy’s shoulder as he steered Percival to the door of the room they had treated you in.


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lancelot and the boy come to talk to you. You find out you had not actually survived the attack.

The door creaked open and you languidly opened your eyes. You smiled weakly when you saw the boy push through the door which was not open enough yet. You had never thought you would see the boy’s bright smile again. And those bright eyes sparkling with barely contained joy. The boy ran up to you, throwing his arms around you as tears streamed down his face. You hugged the boy back, rubbing his back to sooth him. You looked at Lancelot who approached the two of you slowly, you noticed the blood staining his clothes.

_Your blood._

_  
_He looked awfully tired, as if he had gone through hell itself and back again.  
The boy calmed down and Lancelot carefully took his arm, pulling him away from you a little. He worried you were in pain and the boy might accidentally hurt you.  
Percival seemed to understand the reason he had moved him away a little. Instead the boy now sat on the edge of the bed you were in. Lancelot’s hand trailed down your arm before landing on your hand, taking it in his own. He was eerily silent but his eyes told the story. You squeezed his hand, pulling him out of his thoughts and worries.

“How are you feeling ?” He asked quietly.

“I feel strange… and very tired.” You furrowed your brows, placing a hand on your abdomen where your skin was healing.

“Are you in pain ?” He let his thumb brush over your hand, the concerned look never left his face.

You shook your head and saw him sigh in relief.

“What happened to me ? I remember she stabbed me… I thought… how did I survive ?” You remembered nothing else but the moment Bryla had stabbed you with the dagger.

He felt his fury reignite inside “Who did this to you, y/n ?”

You could see by his expression why he had asked you that. You had told Nyra the name of the woman that had done this to you and Nyra had told you about the woman who had stabbed you. The woman had looked unwell in the forest. She had looked unwell the first time you had met her as well. So you believed Nyra when she had told you that this woman, who’s husband was killed by Draegan, was not truly evil. Her grief had caused her madness. You could not hate this woman for what she had done to you, she was unstable, not a monster. A lost soul. And Nyra had told you that this woman had already expressed her remorse when she came to her senses. She was held in the building where others who suffered from the same mental state also stayed. You had seen that look in Lancelot’s eyes before, when he had fought the Trinity Guards, when he had fought Draegan… 

You did not wish for more bloodshed, certainly not he blood from someone who was driven to madness because of the actions of your own kin. Lancelot awaited your answer and you saw how his other hand wrapped around the grip of his sword at his side. He was trying very hard not to show his intentions. And if you had not seen that look in his eyes before, perhaps you would not have guessed them.

You reached out your other hand and grabbed his hand he had on the grip of his sword, speaking firmly to him “The woman that did this to me is unwell, Lancelot. I do not want you to seek vengeance for what has happened to me. That woman is not a monster. I’ve lived with one long enough to recognise one.”

He was anything but pleased with you defending the woman as well, he struggled to control the anger inside of him “Y/n. That woman did not just stab you. When I found you in the forest, you were not alive. You were cold to the touch.”

His voice cracked, his fury changed into agony at the memory and he drew a sharp breath through his nose.

“What ?” Your eyes widened with shock, you could see that he was telling you the truth. You could feel it, something strange had happened to you “But then.. how-”

“The Hidden helped Lancelot save you !” The boy seemed rather excited to share that fact.

Your eyes darted between Lancelot and the boy and you let go of his other hand “The Hidden ?”

You had heard many stories about the Hidden, both from the fey and Magnolia.

Now you looked at Lancelot intensely “You can hear them ?”

You had heard how some fey could hear the Hidden, but it was extremely rare.  
He nodded, confirming it as he brushed his thumb over your knuckles.  
You quirked a brow and smiled up at him “I always knew you were something special.”  
His eyes went to yours, realising that it was both a witty remark and a compliment.  
It was the latter that made his cheeks redden ever so slightly.  
Percival snorted, clearly understanding it as a hidden jest coming from you.  
Lancelot almost rolled his eyes at the sound “Could you give us a moment, Percival ?”  
The boy looked at you shaking his head but you nodded and he groaned annoyed “Fine.”

Lancelot waited until the boy had left the room before he sat down on the edge of the bed.

“I’ve always heard them. But never like this before. I don’t understand what they are saying most of the time. But they were louder when I…” The words died in his throat.  
“When what ?” You pressed on.

  
_When you were death._

_When he was weeping as he held your lifeless body._

  
You noticed that he didn’t feel like sharing that information.

His eyes were distant as he spoke “I prayed, prayed to the god I was taught to believe in. I reached out and there was nothing. But I could hear _them_. The whispers came to me and I called out to them. I begged them do bring you back to me.”

You swallowed thickly, you couldn’t imagine what he must have gone through. You knew he loved you and he had found you dead in the forest. Silence fell and you reached out to cup his cheek with your hand, letting your thumb brush along it. You hated seeing him like this, it hurt you to see him now, his tired eyes locked on yours.

He held your wrist lightly, feeling your warm hand against his cheek. He had thought he would never feel it again. He closed his eyes for a moment, revelling in the feeling of your warm touch.

"I died the way Magnolia did…she must have been as scared as I was..” You shook your head at the memory, removing your hand from his cheek.  
Lancelot remembered how the flowers, the magnolias, had bloomed on your body. How they had healed you.

He knew right there and then it was a sign “I am certain your sister is watching over you, y/n. You and your sister have helped the fey, I believe it is why the Hidden helped me to bring you back.”

You were quiet for a bit, and he reached out, taking the wooden flower pendant between his fingers.

The way he looked at you made you realise that he must have had a good reason to believe that was true. His eye betrayed him. You did not want to press on about what happened in the forest. At this moment you did not really wish to know. The fact that you had actually died was enough to deal with for now.

“I am sorry you had to go through that, Lancelot. If it’s any consolation, I will try my best to stay alive. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” It was an attempt to lighten the mood.

  
  


  
He seemed lost in thought as he suddenly cupped your cheek with his hand, his thumb slowly brushing down it.  
You saw how tired he looked, like he had just experienced the worst day of his life. And perhaps he truly had. The room was silent, his eyes were focused on your own. Something unspoken hanged in the air between you.

There was so much he wanted to say. So many things going through his mind all at once.

_I’m sorry._

_I couldn’t protect you._

_I’m sorry._

_I love you._

_I’m sorry._

_I can’t lose you again._

He couldn’t manage to form the words, none of it could express what he felt inside.  
To your suprise he actually leaned down to kiss your forehead. The gesture made you melt, you almost couldn’t remember the last time you had felt so warm inside.  
You looked up at him, his eyes locked on yours. So silent, yet so much was said in that shared look.  
“I thought I had lost you.” He swallowed the lump in his throat as he looked at you as if he were trying to memorize your face.  
You gave him a bittersweet smile, finding yourself comforting him “You didn’t. I’m still here. And I’m not planning on going anywhere.”  
"I do hope you will plan on coming home with me and the boy.” The corner of his mouth twitched.

You noticed how he seemed more relaxed now, you wanted to mess with him a little “Of course I do. I would miss that boy too much.”

He waited for you to continue speaking before he realised you weren’t going to include him in that.

He narrowed his eyes at you as he saw you holding back a smile “I see.”

You snorted at his reaction, smacking his arm “Lancelot, you KNOW I would miss you terribly as well. You unbelievable dunce.”

“I like to hear you admit to it.” He smiled at you broadly.

“Let’s go home then.” You went to sit up but he put a hand on your shoulder.

“Are you sure you can walk ?” Lancelot frowned at you, concern audible in his voice.

You frowned for a moment, that was a good question. You felt terribly tired and you just came back from the dead “Uhm.. I’m not sure actually…”

He did not hesitate when he offered “Do you want me to carry you home ?”

You were almost speechless, this man had just carried you all the way from the forest to the infirmary and now he offered to carry you home as well. He looked so tired, you couldn’t make him carry you like this.

“Lancelot, you look exhausted-” You began to refuse but he cut you off.

“I just want you home with us, y/n.” He was almost pleading to you now.

You gave a silent nod “Are you sure you-”

He did not let you finish that sentence, he would carry you to the other end of the world if he had to “I am.”

Just as you sat up on the bed the door creaked open and Nyra walked back inside the room holding fresh clothes for you.  
Your eyes landed on them, you recognised them as the ones you had been giving when you had arrived here “Oh, you got me my clothes. Thank you !”  
She put them on the bed next to you, her eyes darting between Lancelot and you “You’re welcome.”  
You took the clothes in your hand “I’ll switch into them and then we can go home.”  
You looked at Lancelot hopeful and saw him smile back at you.  
That hope was ripped from you when Nyra spoke next.  
“Oh no. The healer says you need to stay here for observation.” She objected firmly.  
“But-” You wanted to protest but she cut you off.  
“No _‘but’s_ ’.” She gave both you and him a warning look.  
“Fine.” You said in a similar way the boy had done when he was asked to leave the room.

He stood up from the bed, having picked up on your gloomy mood now.  
Lancelot’s hand landed on your shoulder first, then he slowly moved it to your cheek “I suppose Nyra is right.” he sighed deeply “You should rest. I and the the boy will eagerly await your return.”  
Your eyes were glued to him, being _very_ aware that he was stroking your cheek with his fingers.  
Nyra cleared her throat and he pulled his hand away as if he, for a moment, had forgotten she was even in the room “She needs to rest.”  
Lancelot got the hint and squeezed your shoulder before stepping away “We’ll be waiting.”  
You were smiling broadly at him, eyes still glued to him as he left the room.  
“Y/n ?” Nyra quirked a brow at you.  
Your eyes snapped to her, sending her an inquisitive look.  
She scoffed but said nothing as she left the room so you could rest.


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are finally home again. Tobias comes to apologize to Lancelot, who dislikes that the man still seems a bit too interested in you.

After another day in the infirmary the healer finally allowed you to go home. The scar had almost completely vanished by then.

Lancelot was elated to have you home again, he had silently hoped to speak to you again in private but the boy had been around you that whole day and in the evening he didn’t want to disturb you as you rested.

The second day after returning home you felt energetic and again the boy sticked by your side as you decided to be active and handle some chores. Laying in bed is only fun for so long before it began to bore you. And at night you had troubles sleeping after what had happened, you knew it was because you dying alone in dark forest had traumatized you. You had begun to fear the dark of the night.

He had tried to convince you to rest some more but you would not listen as you stubbornly put fresh sheets on the beds with the boy.

He had gone outside to care for Goliath in the meantime when all of a sudden a little girl approached him. The girl startled him when she tapped him against his side, he had failed to notice her approach him. He looked down at her and she looked up at him with brown doe eyes. She looked younger then Percival.

“Are you Lancelot ?” She blinked as the sun hit her eyes as she looked up at him.

He blinked a few times, not expecting the fey child to just approach him. She did not seem to fear him at all “Yes.”

“Momma says you saved the Fey Guardian.” Then the girl held up a flower for him.

His eyes widened slightly as he recognised the flower.

_A magnolia._

It took him a moment to realise the child was offering him the flower and he gingerly took it from her small hands while uttering “Thank you..”

“Thank you, Lancelot.” She squeaked before running back to her parents who were watching from afar.

When he looked in their direction they both gave him a nod, a silent acknowledgment. _A sign of acceptance._

Nyra had seen it happen as she approached him “How fitting.”

Lancelot quirked a brow at Nyra’s comment, and saw her nod to the flower now in his hand. He began to believe Nyra knew Magnolia. Or you must have told her about your sister.

“How is y/n ? I take it you are relieved to see her home ?” She smiled at him.

He sighed, still not happy that you had refused to rest longer “She looks to be back to her old self. She’s out of bed, refused to spend another moment resting. Percival is helping her inside.”

Nyra was very pleased to hear that “As expected. She was very eager to go home.”

Lancelot found himself smiling at that fact, it truly felt like he had found a family of his own now. He realised none of this would have happened had Nyra not allowed him to stay here as well “You have been very gracious towards me. Even though you did not know me.”

She breathed out, it almost sounded like a sigh "Magnolia was a smart woman, I see many of her traits in y/n. If y/n trusted you, that was enough reason for me to allow you to stay here. And when y/n told me you had gone to Mirstone just to retrieve her necklace I knew for certain I made the right decision.“

“You knew her ?” What she had just said had confirmed his suspicion.

Nyra gave a nod “She was my closest friend once, a long time ago. I made that necklace that y/n now wears. Carved it myself. It is quite fitting that you should be the one to return it to her.”

His brows drew together “Why is that ?”

She found herself needing to explain it to him “It brings the owner love and luck. I believe that you are both those things to her now.”

He casted his eyes to the ground, his mouth curving up “Does y/n know that you knew her sister ?”

Nyra shook her head “No. Magnolia insisted that y/n would never be involved in what she did. To protect at least y/n from the Huntsman in that way. It was not safe for either of them to have ties to the fey. It appears that y/n ended up doing the exact same thing Magnolia did anyway. She is perhaps more stubborn then Magnolia ever was.”

It had indeed proven a wise decision of your sister to not involve you in all this when you were young. He didn’t want to think how horribly the Huntsman would have hurt you at that age had you been involved in helping the fey then. Now Nyra kept a secret watchful eye on you here.  
"She often pushes me to the edge of my sanity.” He sighed, thinking back to all the times you had acted so stubbornly. To all the times you had risked your life while he had warned you not to do so.  
Nyra pulled a face, quirking a brow at him.  
He noticed and send her an questioning look “What is it ?”  
She started to walk past him “Everyone in this village can see that that is exactly what you like about her. She thrills you.”  
His cheeks turned crimson quickly and he bend his head so his cloak casted shadows on his face.

She patted his shoulder as she walked past him to handle some business with another person closeby.

Lancelot called out to her again and she turned just a little to look at him “If the woman that did this to y/n ever comes near her again. I will do what I must to protect her.”

Nyra nodded in understanding, she could not blame him for protecting you.

She walked past Tobias as he came in Lancelot’s direction. Lancelot sighed, he was not in the mood for the man’s insults.

The man stopped at a distance from him “Good morning.”

He quirked a brow, not expecting a polite greeting after how he had acted to him the last time. The urge to ignore the man was strong, still he greeted him cooly “Good morning.”

“Look uh…” Tobias started, seeming uneasy “I’ve come to apologize for what I said to you.”

His eyes snapped to the man, what on earth was happening ?

Tobias shifted on his feet, he looked around him nervously “I shouldn’t have said that. The lady was right. I heard how you saved her, the whole village is grateful for it.”

Lancelot gave a nod, acknowledging his apology but not truly accepting it yet.

“How is the jaw ?” He jested to the man, remembering how hard you had slapped the man not long ago.

Tobias rubbed his jaw at the reminder.

“I swear she loosened a tooth. She’s a fiery one. You actually teach _her_ how to handle a sword ?” Tobias looked at him as if Lancelot was insane.

He averted his eyes from the man, finding the horrified look in his eyes amusing “Yes. I would suggest not upsetting her anymore. She learns quickly.”

He couldn’t help but give the man a hidden warning. Even though the slap from you must have been enough of a warning to the man.

“I won’t. Unlike you, I don’t have a death wish. Are you truly not afraid she’ll use that sword on you when she gets angry ?” The man let out a nervous chuckle.

This time he looked at the man, smirking arrogantly “Unlike you, _I_ can handle it.”

The hidden undertone did not go past Tobias. A man like Tobias was no match for you, he feared that fire within you. It did not frighten Lancelot, it was what drew him in. And the thought that one day you might be good enough to actually safely spar with him did not scare him, it thrilled him. Tobias had the opposite reaction to it all, it frightened him and still Lancelot got the feeling that Tobias was still interested in you. _Too interested._ It was perhaps the reason he still disliked the man after his apology.

“She asked me to teach her.” Lancelot knew his next words would sound ambiguous, he was counting on it “ _I_ will not refuse her. If _you_ are worried about her learning how to handle a sword, perhaps _you_ shouldn’t come too close to her then. For your own safety, of course.”

“Oh..” The man said after a moment, understanding what was not being said out loud. Tobias knew this was Lancelot politely telling him to stay away from you. It was then Tobias realised that the former Weeping Monk was acting jealous, and that the rumors in the village were perhaps true. He began to realise his mistake of openly trying to flirt with you days ago and understood why Lancelot now remained cold towards him.

Lancelot knew he had brought his point across as Tobias got visibly more nervous.

Then the door of the house opened and you stepped outside along with the boy. Not noticing them interact just yet.

Tobias looked slightly fearful at you, he had not forgotten how you had threatened him when he had bothered Lancelot. What if you thought he was doing that now ?

Lancelot looked at him, barely keeping his composure as he saw Tobias trip over a bucket as he walked backwards. His eyes darted between you and the nervous man not far away from him, he watched as your eyes darkened when you saw Tobias.

He had to admit that he enjoyed seeing this protective side of you, it stirred something inside of him. Warmth spread through his body at the thought that someone could actually feel protective of him. Tobias walked away so quickly that he stumbled over his feet and nearly hit the ground.

Lancelot turned his attention back to Goliath, no longer able to hide the grin on his face.

“Lancelot ?” You carried the bucket with linen in one hand as you approached him “What did Tobias want ?”

You glared to Tobias, who walked with a quick pace.  
Lancelot smirked when he noticed the angry glare you send the man “He came to apologize.”  
You stared at Lancelot, not believing your ears “He apologized to you ?”  
He gave you a nod, looking almost as suprised as you were “He did. I believe you must have slapped some sense into him that day.”  
You snorted at his remark “I hope so.”  
“He told me you loosened one of his teeth.” He couldn’t help but find it hilarious.  
“Just one ?” You sounded almost disappointed and Lancelot could barely keep his composure.

He pretended to be shocked at your words “And this is coming from the _Fey Guardian_ ?”

You rolled your eyes and shrugged your shoulders “Tobias is not fey.”

Lancelot shook his head, grinning at you “Ah, yes. In that case, all is well.”

You swatted his arm as he stood facing Goliath “He’ll live.” then you uttered under your breath “If he stays out of my reach.”

Lancelot gawked at you, having heard you say it. Your protective side was still showing.

“What’s that ?” Your eyes fell on something laying on Goliath’s saddle.  
He picked it up, turning it with his fingers for you to see “It’s a flower.”  
You recognised the flower, it was a magnolia “Oh did someone give you a flower ?”  
Inside you felt worried. W _ho_ would give him flowers ? _Why_ did they give him a flower ?  
Your smile fell a little when you feared there was a chance someone else might be seeking his attention.  
“A fey girl.” He answered honestly but failed to see your expression change at his answer.  
“Oh… I see. That was… nice of her.” Your tried to smile but your voice went quiet.  
He looked at you now, having picked up on the change in your mood “Is something wrong ?”  
You quickly shook your head, and fumbled with your hands nervously “No of course not. It’s nice that the woman gave you a flower.”  
Lancelot blinked before frowning, then it dawned on him. He hadn’t specified it was a child who had given him the flower, and you seemed to believe it had been an adult. He wondered if you were perhaps jealous.  
He tried to hide the smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth as he gestured towards the little girl who stood by her parents a bit further away “I meant fey girl, as in that little girl over there.”  
You turned your head to look in the direction he was pointing at and the little girl waved at you when she saw you looking in her direction.  
You waved back at the girl, now feeling stupid for feeling jealous.  
“Oh.” You turned back to face him, fumbling with your hands as you looked down at them “That was sweet of her.”  
He gave a nod, seeing how you looked almost embarrassed now.  
Then he held up the flower for you to take.  
It took you a solid two seconds to realise he wanted to give you the flower.  
“She gave it to you, Lancelot.” You objected.  
He sighed and ignored your protests as he tugged the flower behind your ear “And now I am giving it to you.”  
You were flustered and swallowed nervously at the sweet gesture “Thank you…”

“It suits you.” His eyes softened, seeing your reaction was endearing to him.

You gave a shy smile and he turned his attention back on Goliath.  
Then you held up the bucket you were carrying, and you showed the bucket to him. He looked at it over his shoulder.

“I’m going to the river to wash these, I just wanted to let you know so you don’t have to worry.” You send him a reassuring smile.

He was worried either way after what happened “Will you take Percival with you, y/n?”

Lancelot and the boy had spoken about keeping you safe the previous evening, something you were not aware of. It appeared that he didn’t even had to ask the boy, Percival had already set his mind to it.

“I will. Percival was _really_ eager to come with me to wash these…even asked me himself.” You frowned a little as you thought about it.

He looked away when he said “The boy has a lot of energy in him, washing linen is one way to use it. And Percival seems eager to spend more time around you.”

You hummed with a smile and looked at him knowingly “Hmm. I think he wants to come with me to protect me.”

He was silent, it was obvious now that you had seen through their secret plan. He sneaked a glance at you, looking almost apologetic, but mostly caught.

You shook your head smiling, did he truly think you would not see through the scheme ? “Don’t worry. I will ignore your secret scheming with the boy.”

Lancelot’s eyes locked on yours “We want you to be safe, y/n…” he sighed “…I need you to be safe.”

“Well then, fear not. I have a knight to accompany me now.” You walked around him playfully, letting your hand glide over his back lightly, stopping at his other side “And a very brave one at that.”

Lancelot tilted his head as he felt your hand glide over his back, he could feel his skin tingle along the path your hand had travelled. You weren’t even touching his skin but feeling your hand move over his back was enough to cause the reaction. He quirked a brow at you, noticing your sudden playful attitude.

You leaned so your shoulder brushed against his “I’m curious about something, Lancelot.”

Having you lean against his shoulder like this was new to him, you were drawing his attention like a magnet “What piqued your curiousity ?”

His mouth felt dry as he spoke, something was _different_ between you now, he could feel it.

You kept your eyes on his face, closely watching his reaction “Back in Mirstone, before you saved me and the boy. When we barely knew each other… Draegan seemed so sure you were always looking at me differently. Was that _really_ only because you suspected I was helping the fey ?”

“Yes.” He answered quickly but then started to actually think about it. He had always paid quite a bit of attention to you when he had visited Mirstone. He always told himself he did so because of his suspicion towards you. But as he stood and looked upon you now, he knew now that it was perhaps not the only reason.

That was not the answer you had hoped for, you had hoped he would pick up on your attempt to be flirtatious, but he appeared oblivious to it.

You hummed again and squinted your eyes “That’s strange. He said some paladins looked at me the same way you did. I did see _them_ looking at me, but it was _not_ because they were ’ _suspicious_ ’ of me…”

You leaned back a little to look at his face, Lancelot seemed to think about your words “They looked at me for a whole different reason. And if _you_ looked at me, the way _they_ looked at me, that leads me to believe that…”

You nudged his shoulder with yours, smiling as you leaned in to whisper as if you were telling a secret “You were having some _interesting_ thoughts about me back then as well, _Monk_.”

You put heavy intonation on his previous title, making a clicking noise with your tongue. And by the way his eyes snapped to you he clearly didn’t like hearing it, something you had anticipated.

He ignored what you had been saying, it was making him ridiculously nervous and it seemed that was exactly your intention “Don’t call me that anymore.”

You were aware that he was ignoring everything else you had said just now “Don’t worry, I prefer your real name.” you let your fingers trail down his arm, speaking seductively “I prefer the man I’ve come to know as ‘Lancelot’. ”

You let your hand brush Goliath’s neck. Then you purposely let your hand glide downwards to the spot Lancelot had placed his hand on the horse and let your hand graze over his for just a second before you turned and walked into the direction of the river.

His heart was hammering in his chest by the small gesture. He noted how your attitude around him just now was different, it was _very_ different. You seemed to try and draw his attention to you with your playfulness. And if that was your intention then it was definitely working. He watched with widened eyes as you walked in the direction of the river. He felt confused, you had touched him before but this felt like something _different_. Something _more_. Especially considering that you were aware of his feelings for you. The only hiccup was that you had not truly confessed your own feelings to him, leaving him uncertain on how to act next. He did not know for sure if you actually loved him, all he knew was that he had upset you by hiding his own feelings. Deep down he knew, but he _needed_ to hear it from you.

Nyra made eye contact with Lancelot as she passed him by again, she had seen the interaction between you both. And saw how oblivious he had reacted. Once she was close enough for him to hear her she said “She was flirting with you, you fool.”

She did not stop, she only loudly sighed and his head spun around when he had heard Nyra say it. His brows shot up, his eyes darting to Nyra before he put his attention on you again. Percival was already by your side now. Now he understood why you had acted differently, he was not used to flirtation and he had not recognised it as it happened. He closed his eyes for a moment, cursing at himself for not realising it and acting on it. Lancelot finished with caring for Goliath before he began to walk in the direction of the river as well.


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As you are washing the linen in the river Lancelot comes to talk to you. He tells you something you had told him when you were drunk.

The rustling of leaves alerted you that you were no longer alone. A quick glance over your shoulder confirmed what you had expected.  
“Don’t worry. I am not drunk.” You focused back on the linen you were draining the water from now.  
Lancelot chuckled as he approached you, thinking back to the night he had to stop your drunken self from coming here.  
“I had to toss you over my shoulder that night, you were very insistent to swim in this river. I had to carry you away from it.” He confessed with a smirk and your eyes snapped to him.  
He had never told you this before, you had assumed he had just guided you back “You carried me like a sack of flour ?”  
He shrugged his shoulders slightly as he came to stand beside you “Let us say that you don’t like it when people try to tell you what to do. At some point you calmed down, so I put you down, thought you could walk.”  
He kneeled beside you as he told the story, clearly enjoying telling it.  
You couldn’t look at him from embarrassment, you focused on the linen in your hands.  
He rubbed some grass between his fingers as he recalled it “I was wrong. Be glad my reflexes are still intact as I was able to catch you before you hit the ground. I carried you in my arms the rest of the way if it is any consolation.  
"You carried me home ?” You were taken aback by how much effort he had gone through to get you home safely that night.  
He silently nodded, sneaking a glance at you.  
“I don’t know why I wanted to swim in this river so badly that night. I’m sorry, Lancelot. I must drive you insane sometimes…” You said apologetic.  
He brushed the grass off of his hands and looked at you. Oh how right you were that you often drove him insane and how truly exhilarating it was that you could challenge him all the time. He could never be bored by you.  
Lancelot looked at you, contemplating if he should share one of the details of that night that had stayed with him, the reason why you seemed so drawn to the river. Something that still gave him hope. Something he couldn’t forget.

He focused on the grass beneath his feet, a cheeky grin growing on his face “You did give some form of explanation that night.”  
You took a deep breath, knowing that the answer would probably be something embarrassing “Did I ? What did I say ?”  
You regretted the question immediately when you saw the look on his face.  
That smug look accompanied by his trademark smirk “I remember you said the moonlight made the water look like my eyes. You told me you wanted to swim in the river because of it.”  
He barely kept a straight face, brushing a hand over his chin to hide it.  
You stopped breathing at that, you only had very vague memories of that night. But the moment he had said that, you remembered that you had indeed told him that.  
You wanted to crawl away and hide under a rock.  
For the longest time none of you spoke. All that was heard was the chirping of birds and the sound of the water moving in the river.  
You dared to look at him from the corner of your eyes. His almost sparkled as the sun reflected in them. It looked similar to the sun’s reflection on the river. Well, at least you had told him the truth that night. His eyes were as blue as the river, they were breathtaking and the markings beneath his eyes somehow even highlighted them.  
You had always been the one to get him flustered and it appeared that the tables had turned. You saw how he tried to keep a serious face but failed. He turned his head away fearing you would see how he was trying not to laugh.  
But you had seen it.  
You splashed the water from the river at him, yelling at him playfully “I can’t believe you’re laughing at me, you smug oaf !”  
He held up his arms, shielding himself from the water as you mercilessly splashed it at him.  
You quickly stood up, still feeling like you wanted to hide from the embarrassment. Why did you have to be so honest when you were drunk ?  
Lancelot quickly reached out and grabbed your hand as he stood up as well.  
He held on to your hand as you tried to walk away from him.  
A smile tugged at your lips at the sight of him now. The water was dripping from his face. You couldn’t help but think that he looked ridiculously attractive like this “If you don’t mind, I want to go hide in my room after that.”  
You tried to make it sound lighthearted, but you knew that once you would be in your room you would refuse to leave it for the rest of the day after this embarrassing moment.  
Lancelot suspected this as well, his hand wrapped around yours as he stepped closer.  
“Don’t hide yourself from me, y/n.” It was a plea. He didn’t want to continue avoiding what was now so blatantly clear.  
Both of you were scared to face it, but you had made him face himself, face the truth. And now he would make you face this as well.  
You looked at his hand wrapped around yours, noting how it felt like the perfect fit.  
It was warm and inviting and you couldn’t bring yourself to pull your hand away. You didn’t want to pull your hand away.  
He was inches away from you now, carefully watching how you were reacting, remembering how you had reacted the last time he did this.  
He brought his other hand up to cup your cheek, letting his thumb brush along it.

And you let him, finally daring to meet his gaze.  
He leaned in but was hesitant, afraid that he would blunder again. He went for a safer option and pressed his lips to your cheek, close to the corner of your mouth, as his thumb brushed your jaw. He lingered there for a moment, wishing he could linger there for much longer.  
His lips moved away from your cheek and you felt yourself longing for them.  
He didn’t get the chance to move his face away from yours, you took his face in your hands and pressed your lips to his with a strength he didn’t know you had in you.  
And once your lips were on his, you didn’t want to leave them. All the bickering, all the stolen glances, all the tension that cemented you together poured into the kiss. He drove you mad, he got under your skin and you could not get enough of him.  
Lancelot did not expect this reaction from you and was once again reminded that he could never truly predict you. He reluctantly pulled back a little, you suddenly kissing him so vigorously had slammed the air out of his lungs.  
You wanted to pull him back to your lips but with his last willpower he stopped you.  
“Wait…” He drew a breath after the word “This… for me, this is not just…”  
 _Lust_. It was not just lust, he _loved_ you. He needed you to believe that. He did not want you to think he was using you, and he didn’t want to be used anymore as well. Not as a weapon and not as a person.  
You read his expression, seeing the uncertainty in his eyes. You understood what he was trying to say.  
Your hand brushed along his jaw and you stated “You love me.”  
It felt like a weight had been lifted of his chest, you believed him. You knew he truly loved you.  
“I do.” He gave a nod, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.  
You wanted to say that you loved him too, but in your nervous state it came out wrong.  
“Then that makes two of us… wait no…” You cursed under your breath for the dumb mistake.  
He raised a brow, looking amused, confused and slightly worried even.  
“I’m sorry…” you gave him an apologetic smile, shaking your head at your own stupidity “…what I am trying to tell you is that I love you. I mean, I love myself too but I love you more and-”  
You were starting to ramble and he flashed a smile.  
“Maddening…” Lancelot whispered before his lips crashed to yours.  
Your hand went into his hair, lightly tugging at the tresses as you moved yourself closer against him. His arms wrapped around you, keeping you close to him. You felt every breath he took, every rise and fall of his chest. Felt his hand stroke your back when he deepened the kiss.

The moment you had to pull away for air, he brushed his nose against yours. He was breathing heavily as well, the second the air had filled your lungs he captured your mouth with his again.  
His hand sneaked into your hair, gingerly holding on to it as he kissed you passionately.

Your hands rested on his chest, and when he pulled you flush against him you placed your arms around his neck. Pulling him as close as you could. You melted into it and his eagerness to kiss you made your knees go weak.  
  
  


  
“EW GROSS !” Percival’s voice reached your ears and you broke apart immediately.

Heat rose to both your cheeks as you looked upon the boy who was staring at you, scrunching his nose. You and Lancelot shared a panicked look. Both of you had forgotten that the boy had gone with you to wash the linen for a moment.

“We uh…” Lancelot started with his explanation but didn’t find the right words under the scrutinizing gaze of the boy.

You saw him look at you for help “We were just-”

“Kissing ?” The boy snorted loudly “Yes, I could see that.”

“How long have you been standing there ?” Lancelot suddenly asked and watched how the boy quirked a brow at him.

The boy looked him up and down, snorting again “Why ? Wait… how long _were_ you kissing ?”

Lancelot closed his eyes, asking himself why this child was determined to torment him at any given opportunity.

“Percival…” You looked at the boy, pleading him with your eyes to have mercy on the two of you just for once.

The boy understood why you were looking at him like that “He told me he loved you…does this mean you love him too ?”

You looked at Lancelot suprised, you had no idea he had told the boy he loved you. The corner of Lancelot’s mouth twitched as he noticed your look of suprise.

“Very much. Almost as much as I love you.” You answered, smiling broadly at the boy.

Lancelot’s eyes darted between you and the boy, almost rolling his eyes. He knew it was a jest aimed at him. The boy however seemed very pleased with that answer, sending Lancelot an arrogant smirk. And for a moment Lancelot wondered how he would ever survive raising the boy.

“So, you two are going to do that a lot then, huh ?” Percival scrunched his nose again.

You closed your eyes and sighed, covering your mouth with your hand. The boy had no mercy and the perfect ammunition against the both of you now.

Lancelot chuckled at your reaction “I believe so. Yes.”

Your eyes snapped open to look at him, he was smirking at you suggestively.

“Lancelot.” You hissed, your eyes darting between him and Percival.

Seeing the look on the boy’s face now was worth it to Lancelot.

The boy grimaced and whispered “Yuck.”

You groaned before asking the boy “Are you fine with this ?” you gestured between yourself and Lancelot.

You felt the need to ask the boy if he was alright with you and Lancelot being together, the boy’s opinion mattered. You knew how children could react badly to sudden changes such as these.

Lancelot looked hopeful at the boy, and saw how the boy grinned back at him.

“Are you _sure_ you want to kiss him more ?” The boy taunted.

Lancelot rolled his eyes and mumbled something under his breath, he should have known the boy would respond like this.

You shook your head at his snarky attitude “Very sure.”

Then a wide smile grew on the boy’s face, he seemed satisfied with the amount of tormenting he had done “Fine by me then.”

Lancelot’s sigh of relief was loudly audible.

“We should head back and put these linens up to dry.” You told them.

The boy picked up a bucket with linen as he started to head back to the village. As you followed the boy back to the village you felt an arm sneak around your waist as Lancelot pulled you against his side swiftly.

“Almost as much ?” He recalled your words from earlier.

“Almost.” You told him again as you smiled at him playfully.

He hummed before leaning down and placing a kiss to your cheek. Then he let go off you as you walked back to the village together.


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As night approaches you grow uneasy, you have failed to sleep at night after what happened. You intend to stay up and read a book but Lancelot notices that you can barely keep your eyes open.

The three of you were home now, and during the walk Percival had oh so bluntly requested that you don’t kiss each other where he would have to see it.  
You understood the boy and agreed to that request, at least for now. Until all of you had had some time to adjust to the new situation you found yourselves in.  
It was easy to agree to that request outside, but as you now sat in the same room with Lancelot and the boy it proved to be more…difficult.  
Especially because you could feel Lancelot’s eyes on you constantly. Things felt very different between you now and everytime you caught him looking at you, your mouth went dry.  
After another minute of feeling his eyes on you, you stood up from the chair you were sitting on at the table “I uhm… I’m going to go and see if I didn’t forget any of the linen outside.”  
The boy had been eating and stopped midchew “It’s dark outside..”  
You swallowed nervously “Exactly, can’t forget linen outside in the dark. They won’t dry that way.”  
Both Lancelot and the boy quirked a brow at your strange explanation.  
The boy frowned at that, but he had not forgotten what had happened to you not long ago and wanted to go with you “I’ll come with you. I’ll help.”  
Your eyes darted between the boy and Lancelot “Oh no, just… I’ll be right back. Don’t worry, I will stay close to the house. I promise.”  
You were already at the door when you spoke to the boy “Uhm… eat your dinner. Don’t want it to get cold.”  
The boy looked suspicious at you for a moment and almost rolled his eyes at your pathetic lie and excuse. He wasn’t stupid, he had seen how you had looked into Lancelot’s direction.  
You tapped your fingers against the wooden door for a moment, sneaking another glance at Lancelot who was looking at you knowingly, before you walked out of the house and closed the door behind you.  
A smile tugged at the corner of Lancelot’s mouth. He had seen right through your excuse to get outside of the house and he knew why you had done so.

  
  


  
After a few minutes of waiting outside you realised he must not have understood the hint. He picked up on many things but it seems that this wasn’t one of those things.  
You were leaning against the cold brick wall of the house. Even though the house was illuminated by candles inside, you still grew uneasy. You had begun to fear the dark, and after a few more moments you gave up on waiting for the oblivious idiot inside.  
You pushed yourself away from the wall and started to head back to the door at the other side of the house.

  
“Waiting for someone ?” A voice came from right behind you.

  
It startled you so badly that when you spun around you got ready to hit whoever it was that had sneaked up behind you. Lancelot managed to stop your hand by grabbing hold of your wrist. He hadn’t expected you to react this startled. Your back was against the wall again before you fully understood what was happening. You gasped in suprise, and then you realised he had sneaked up on you again.

“Gods, you unbelievable idiot ! You almost scared the life out of me…again !” Your voice pitched a little, still feeling your heart hammering in your chest. He put a hand on your waist, keeping you trapped between himself and the wall.

His smirk faltered for a moment and you began to regret your choice of words, but then he actually chuckled and sighed deeply “Please don’t remind me of that.”

You looked at him apologetic and were quick to cup his cheek, speaking softly to him “I’m sorry, Lancelot. I’m so sorry, I wasn’t thinking.”

He sighed again, the smirk slowly returning on his face as he remembered why he was here now “It’s alright. I _did_ startle you. You nearly slapped me didn’t you ?”

You bit your lip, he was right, had he not stopped you from doing so you would have struck him thinking someone was attacking you “Sorry… I didn’t think you would follow me outside afterall. I was waiting for quite some time.”

He quirked a brow at that before scoffing silently “Y/n, you have not been outside long.” he knew it had barely been a few minutes “What were you so impatient for ?”

He knew the answer, he just loved to see how flustered you got and how you seemed to struggle with answering his question. Your eyes widened a little, you truly hoped he didn’t want you to spell it out.

After a moment of silence you used his question against him “For the same thing _you_ followed me outside for, I believe.”

Lancelot’s smirk grew wider and his eyes seemed to light up because of it, the moonlight was just bright enough that you could see a bit of the blue in them “You say you love me _almost_ as much as the boy. Yet you seem quite eager to leave the boy inside the house to see me here.”

You avoided looking him in the eyes, feeling yourself get flustered again. He was teasing you and you hated how good he was getting at it.

“Alright, _fine_. I love you _just_ as much. Happy now ?” You pretended to say it reluctantly and even sighed for added effect.

He narrowed his eyes at you for a moment, realising you were starting to mess with him again. You watched as he slightly nodded, his eyes glued to your face. His other hand sneaked to the back of your head. There was less then a second between him looking down to your lips and him crashing his mouth to yours. Your head had moved back at the force of it and his hand had protected your head from hitting the wall behind you. His mouth moved against yours fervently as he moved to stand flush against you. You placed your hands on the sides of his waist, holding him close to you. His lips began to move away from yours, first to the corner of your mouth, then your cheek. He brushed them against the underside of your jaw before timidly moving lower. He cautiously pressed his lips to the side of your neck for a moment, seeing how you were reacting to it. You moved your hand up, curling your fingers in his hair in response and moved closer to him. He smirked against your neck, it was enough encouragement for him to proceed. He kissed a trail down your neck, before moving back up until his mouth found yours again. You pulled at his leather jerkin, at his neck, at anything that helped to get him as close as you could get him.

Then the sound of something breaking pulled both your attention away instantly. Only a second later the boy called out to you from inside the house.

“IT WASN’T ME ! IT JUST FELL!” Percival shouted loudly.

Both of your rolled your eyes at the boy’s words.

“A plate ?” Lancelot guessed.

“Sounds like it.” You agreed on that answer with him “We should head back inside before we have no tableware left.”

A chuckle escaped him as he nodded in agreement with you. He reluctantly stepped away from you, and put a hand on your lower back as you both headed back inside.

OooOOOOoooOOOoOOoOOOooOooOO

A few hours later you sat at the table reading a book next to the candle light, but your eyes were growing heavy. You fought against the alluring pull of sleep, knowing that the nightmares would be waiting for you when you did fall asleep.

It was already late in the evening, and when night time came you grew anxious. Since your experience with death, you had failed to truly sleep at night. You had only managed to fall asleep when the sun had already risen. The dark room now frightened you, it reminded you of how alone you had felt on the forest ground. And leaving a candle lit did little to help and was not truly safe, you didn’t want to accidentally burn your new home down.

Lancelot approached the table where you were seated, his hands squeezed your shoulders as he pressed a kiss to the side of your head “You should go and rest, y/n. You look tired.”

The boy had already gone to sleep two hours ago. He and Lancelot still trained at dawn, but Lancelot had insisted that you rest for a longer time before he would continue to teach you.

You smiled at him but shook your head “No… I’d like to finish this book.”

His eyes fell on the large book in your hands, you were barely five pages into the book. If you were to finish this book you would be up all night, if you read really fast..

He hummed and reached out his hand, pulling the book from your fingers before putting it on the table “It will still be here tomorrow. You can barely keep your eyes open.”

You reached for the book again, but he took your hand with his and blew out the candle in one quick movement. You glared at him, but you doubted he could see it in the now dark room. The only light now came from the moonlight illuminating the house through the windows.

He pulled you from the chair with your hand, you could see him smirk at you as the moonlight fell on his face “Come on. Come with me.”

You groaned as you stood up, why was he always so bossy ? Why was he always so convincing ?

He guided you behind him up the dark stairs to the hallway that led to your rooms. You already hated how dark the hallway was, this meant it would be even darker in your bedchamber. He stopped at the door that led to the room where he and Percival slept. Lancelot turned to you, lifting your hand he was holding up to his lips before placing a kiss on your knuckles. And when he let go off your hand you looked in the direction of your room, hating how you would have to be in that dark room _again_. Waiting for dawn _again_. Or face nightmares _again_. You felt embarrassed about it, but you couldn’t just brush away the fear you felt at night now. You hated to admit that you were scared after having been killed and brought back to life. You would never forget how scared you were and how you had wished Lancelot had been there so you wouldn’t have been so afraid. He made you feel safe.

It was what prompted you to risk asking him, albeit indirectly, to sleep in your room so you would not have to sleep in there alone in the dark. You knew how this could come accross but your fear was worse then your nervousness. Lancelot turned to open the door to his room, you placed a hand on his arm stopping him from doing so. He looked back at you questioningly.

You cleared your throat as you thought of an excuse “You’ll wake the boy. Maybe.. you could…I mean.” you fought the anxiety that was rising inside of you “You could sleep in my room. If…if you wish.”

  
Never had you seen his cheeks redden so fast since you had known him.  
You truly did mean sleep, you loved him with all your heart but you both knew that it was wiser to go slow in this relationship and not to rush things. Especially after everything that had happened.  
Everything was still very new for the both of you, you had never slept besides another person before.  
Well, there was that one time where you had accidentally woken up ’ _snuggling_ ’ up to him against the tree before you got here.  
But that was an accident, it was different, and a tree was no bed.  
A forest was no bedroom.  
And you suspected he had never shared a bed with someone before either. Not in either sense of the meaning.

His silence at your offer made you feel bad for even asking him.  
“I mean..” you took a deep breath “Sorry. It’s just…”  
You found it hard to admit to him that you were scared to go to sleep in a dark room alone. After you got back from the infirmary you had failed to sleep at night. The dark room reminded you of the dark forest.

Lancelot found his voice when he noticed your expression “Y/n, what’s wrong ?”

“I’m scared to sleep at night.” You blurted out averting your eyes from him at the embarrassing confession.

Concern washed over his features at your confession, he began to understand why you had looked so tired these last few days.

“Because of what happened ?” He quietly asked and watched as you nodded.

You could sense that your offer had rattled him, the last thing you wanted was to make him uncomfortable just because you were afraid.

“Nevermind. I’m sorry, don’t worry about me. I’ll…I’ll be fine. Sorry.” You shook your head casting your eyes to the ground, what where you thinking ? What if you scared him away like this ? 

  
Lancelot blinked a few times, opening his mouth to speak but the words died in his throat when you stepped to him and placed a quick kiss to his lips.  
“Sleep well, Lancelot.” You brushed a hand over his cheek when you almost whispered to him “I love you.”  
Then you turned and walked to your room, quietly shutting the door as you stepped inside.

  
  
Your question had made him ridiculously nervous, he loved you but he did not want to rush things. He didn’t want to make mistakes, not with this. You had confessed your love for him just today, so he never expected you would want to progress things so quickly after that. Your offer had caught him completely off-guard.  
But when you had confessed that you were afraid to sleep at night after what happened he found himself wanting to give in to your offer.  
He then knew you had just meant sleeping as in actual sleeping.  
He thought back to the time where you both had fallen asleep against the same tree and you had stirred in your sleep.  
Even back then he had not truly minded that you had been sleeping against him. He had caught himself liking it. The human contact he so craved was fed by it.  
If he could remain calm then, then he could remain calm now as well. The thought that you were frightened to sleep at night after what happened, that you had asked him to sleep in your room because of it, worried him. The fact that you had asked him this made him realise that you were not handling it as well as you made it seem. And he was not handling it as well as he made it seem either. He did not like letting you out of his sight. He worried about you constantly but he knew he could not lock you up in the house to keep you safe from the world outside. His eyes darted between the two doors as he deliberated on what he would do.


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You had just settled into bed when a knock on your door was heard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!IMPORTANT !!!  
> For those who do not like smut, this is the last chapter :(.   
> The next few chapter almost all contain smut . Let me know what you think, please.

You had just put your nightgown on and crawled into bed when you heard a knock on your door.  
You called out to them “Come in ?”  
You were sitting on your bed, sheets pulled over your lower body.  
Lancelot quietly walked inside, and closed the door again behind him.  
“Is there something you wanted to talk about ?” You looked at him curiously, he never came to your room at night.  
He shook his head as he stayed near the door in case you would ask him to leave. In case you had changed your mind.  
Lancelot said nothing, but the look he send you made you understand why he was there now.  
You had not expected him to reconsider the offer. You took the sheets covering the empty spot on the bed next to you and moved them away a little. You swallowed nervously and patted your hand on the empty spot next to you.  
It was a silent communication, and your eyes slightly widened when he nodded and approached the bed.  
“You don’t have to sleep here if you don’t want to. I’ll understand.” You felt the need to give him the chance to change his mind.  
His eyes locked on your face, the corner of his mouth turned up “It’s alright. I’ve slept close to you before. At least this time it’s not on the ground against a tree.”  
Your eyes widened, and he realised he had said too much “Wait… you knew ? You knew I… that I had slept against you then ?”  
He had forgotten that he had never told you that he had been awake and VERY aware that you had slept against him “I…uh…”  
You quirked a brow, mouth curving into a smile as you let out a soft scoff “You were pretending to be asleep ?”  
He averted his eyes, confirming what you believed had happened “You did not trust me back then. How else should I have reacted ?”  
  


  
With that you burst into laughter and had to muffle it out of fear you would wake the boy “Oh gods, I-…” another fit of laughter overtook you.  
When you composed yourself you saw how embarrassed he looked and you smiled at him sweetly “I suppose you reacted the right way. I think I would have done the same. At least you were sweet enough to never use that fact against me. Or tease me with it.”  
He relaxed at your words “You looked so peaceful. I did not want to wake you.”  
You began to pat the empty spot next to you with both your hands playfully, grinning widely “Get over here.”  
A wave of anxiousness washed over him at that and before he approached he took of his leather jerkin, hanging the piece over the foot of the bed. He stopped himself from removing his shirt as well.

You noticed how he had wanted to remove his shirt but hesitated “I have seen your bare torso before, Lancelot.” you reminded him, before playfully adding “If I see something I haven’t seen before I’ll toss a coin at it.”

You hoped to make him feel more comfortable, you could see he was trying to hide how nervous he felt. Lancelot looked at you from the corner of his eyes, quirking a brow. He watched as you smiled smugly at him, he scoffed lightly as he pulled the shirt over his head in one swift move before tossing it over the foot of the bed as well. You had seen his torso before, yes, but seeing him like this now still made your breath hitch. Then he approached the empty spot of your bed slowly, seeing your innocent yet playful expression calmed his nerves and he sat down on the edge of the bed. Looking over his shoulder at you before moving his legs on the bed. The moment he did you put the sheets over him, he felt how they were already warm.

He had told himself it would be the just like the time you had fallen asleep against the same tree. But when he looked at you, covering him with the sheets, he realised it was not the same. Not at all.  
This was a _bed_ , not a tree.  
You were not just a friend but the person he was _in love_ with.  
His heart quickened and he tried his best to remain calm.  
“Are you alright ?” You became worried at his sudden silence and placed a hand on his arm.

“I am.” He was quick to answer, too quick, and that’s when he knew you would not believe him.

You took one of the pillows in your hands “I could place a pillow between us if it eases your mind ?”  
His eyes fell on the pillow in your hands and he took it from you, instead of using it as a barrier between you he put it behind it’s head.  
There had been enough barriers between the both of you.  
“Or not.” You deadpanned as you saw him relax against the pillow.  
You watched his reaction as you scooted closer to him. Not touching him yet.  
He was the one that reached his hand out to move a stray hair from your face, only then did you lay down against his side. His arm was around you instantly as he moved you closer against him.  
You hesitated to put your hand on his chest even though you had done it so many times when you had helped him. You let your hand hover above him before pulling your hand back to yourself.  
  


  
Lancelot had noticed your uncertainty and took your hand with his, moving it to his lips as he pressed a kiss to the inside of your wrist. Then he placed your hand against his chest close to his heart.  
“Are we not passed this point already ?” He smirked at you, but his eyes betrayed his own uncertainty.  
You shrugged your shoulders, shyly looking at him “That was when I was helping you with your wounds. It’s different. Now it is because I-…”  
You stopped yourself from finishing the sentence, feeling the heat rise to your face.  
He noticed your sudden silence and looked down at you “Because you _what_ ?”  
You sighed deeply, fighting away your shyness as you quickly spoke “Now it is because I just _want_ to put my hand on your chest.”  
He fought the smirk growing on his face at that “I see. So you never _just_ did so before ?”  
You swallowed, feeling flustered. There had been a couple of moments where you didn’t actually need to put your hands on his bare torso but had done so anyway, telling yourself that it was just to tend to his wounds better. You realised that the moment you saw him like this for the first time, you had felt an attraction to him. Something you had fought and ignored until now.  
He let his fingers play with your hair as he waited for your answer, knowing damn well that it had made you flustered.  
“No.” Your voice pitched a bit.  
He hummed in response and that is how you knew he knew you were lying just now.  
The silence that fell was cutting through the air, finally you let out a frustrated groan.  
“Alright, fine. Maybe I did, once or twice.” You bit your lip “Sorry.”  
He let out a chuckle, not expecting you to actually tell him the truth “You have nothing to apologize for.”

He had always enjoyed feeling your hands on him, he couldn’t blame you for finding some enjoyment in it as well. It was flattering to him even.  
His answer made you relax again, and you let your fingers draw circles on his chest “Even when you were covered in blood, and cuts …and bruises…you still looked beautiful. I just did not want to tell you that back then. We weren’t exactly friendly yet.”  
Lancelot blinked twice when the realisation hit him that you had considered him beautiful that night back in Mirstone. That you had felt some form of attraction to him back then.  
The flush of pink spread accross his nose and to his cheeks.  
“I can say the same about you.” He remarked, remembering how he had not been able to keep his eyes off of you as you stitched his wounds in Mirstone.  
  


You looked up at him now, had he truly been attracted to you back then already ? It would explain why everyone in Mirstone kept believing there was something between you.

“Are you trying to tell me you found me beautiful ?” You quirked a brow at him.

His eyes softened and he let his fingers brush your cheek “I did, but I believe you would have stitched my eyes shut should I have told you that back then. You did not trust me yet.”

“Good point.” You gave him a smug smirk.

He looked at you for a moment as he studied your features “You _are_ beautiful, y/n. But it is your spirit that made me fall for you.”

You gave him your sweetest smile “I’d hoped it was my eyes, but I guess my spirit is fine too.”

He scoffed at your witty remark “You’re unbelievable.”

Then he brushed his lips against the top of your hair.  
Lancelot worried about something, the boy’s reaction tomorrow “What will I tell the boy tomorrow, he will have noticed my absence in the room.”  
“Don’t worry about it.” You let out a satisfied sigh, resting your head on his chest.  
“Oh ?” He looked at you, thinking you had a good excuse to tell the boy.  
You looked back at him, grinning “You still have until dawn to think of a good excuse.”  
He rolled his eyes at your answer “If he will believe it is another question.”  
You looked up at him “So you told the boy days ago, huh ? How did Percival react when you told him you are in love with me?”  
“Suprisingly well. I’m still alive, am I not ?” He smirked down at you.  
“Hmm. That is strange. Maybe he is sick ?” You jested.  
“Or maybe he wants us to be happy ?” Lancelot countered.  
Both of you looked at each other before bursting into soft laughter.  
“He will continue to make our life hell.” You quirked a brow.  
“And that is exactly his charm, is it not ?” He brushed his fingers down your jaw.  
You nodded, agreeing with him on the matter “Why are all the men that I love in my life insufferable ?”  
He narrowed his eyes at you “Pardon me ?”  
You quickly pecked his lips “I did say the men that I _love_.”  
“Perhaps it is a shared trait with yourself.” He mumbled through his teeth.  
This time you glared at him and scoffed, a wicked grin was plastered on his face “You think _I_ am insufferable ?!”  
He raised a brow, a smile forming on his face “You are the most defiant person I have ever met besides Percival. You even defied death itself, my love.”  
Both your eyes widened when the words fell from his lips, he had never called you this before.

Your eyes softened, it had slipped out of him so easily.  
You let your eyes trail to his lips, before focusing back on his eyes “Nyra did say that you loved to see me angry.”  
He noticed it, his own were focusing on your lips now “I cannot deny that.”  
You leaned in to kiss him and he eagerly responded.  
He brought a hand up into your hair, curling his fingers into it as he tilted your head a little.  
For someone so strong he had suprisingly soft lips. He kissed you slowly, taking his time to savour the moment. Your hand laid on his bare chest and he wondered if you could feel how rapid his heart was beating. There were no interruptions and he was glad he had chosen to sleep in your room now.  
He pulled back but not before he placed a fierce kiss on the corner of your mouth “You should sleep. You still need your rest.”  
You hummed in response, letting your fingers trail his lips “Alright. And I guess you need your head clear to make up a good excuse by dawn.”  
He scoffed softly as you snuggled up against him, placing your head and a hand on his chest.  
As you closed your eyes you felt him kiss the top of your head.  
“I love you, y/n.” His voice soft but clear.  
You placed a kiss on his chest close to his heart in response, smiling when you heard how he drew a sharp breath “And I love you.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

At dawn, no excuse seemed necessary as the boy took it as a golden opportunity to claim the other room for himself. Lancelot had looked at you for how he should deal with the situation he found himself in now. He didn’t know if you would feel comfortable with sharing a room already. You told him you would speak to the boy about the matter.

“ _It’s all yours.”_

You had told the boy when Lancelot was not in sight. Percival did not question why he got away with commandeering the room. He got what he wanted, no questions were necessary.

When the next night came, and the boy had put Lancelot’s pillow in front of the door, Lancelot looked at you anxiously.

A look was shared between you and you took the pillow off of the ground before taking his hand with yours and pulling him along with you to your room again.

“You can stay with me then.” You had answered the unspoken question as you guided him to your room.

Lancelot had looked at you as he wrapped his arm around your waist to pull you close to him “Always.”


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been five days since you and Lancelot became a couple. And in that time you have noticed there is something Lancelot is not telling you. You begin to think that the problem might just be you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!! WARNING !!! THIS IS A LONG SMUT CHAPTER !!!!!!!
> 
> Special smut warnings for this one: Foreplay, unprotected sex, oral. ( I think that’s it for this one ?)
> 
> Seriously, don’t read if smut is not your thing. I don’t know if this is good lmao. I have no excuse for this thing man.

_~ Five days later~_

You were busy outside your home with the chore you had gotten for that day from Nyra. Hanging up washed sheets to dry in the sun. You were glad it was a warm sunny day, it wouldn’t take long for them to dry that way.  
You were focused on your work and failed to notice how someone was walking up behind you.

  
“Y/n ?”  
  
When you heard Tobias’s voice coming from close behind you, you nearly jumped in suprise and cursed through your teeth.  
“Gods, you startled me !” You exclaimed, visibly irritated.  
He looked apologetic and you calmed down a bit. Dying and coming back to life had made you more on edge, especially when people just sneaked up on you like this.  
You couldn’t resist glaring at him however “What do you want, Tobias ?”  
The man cleared his throat nervously and scratched the back of his neck “To apologize.”  
Your brows drew together, was he really apologizing to you ? “What ?”  
He drew a deep shaky breath before speaking quickly “I’m sorry for how I acted. And I don’t blame you for standing up for your friend, you were right to do so. I apologized to Lancelot. Figured I should come and apologize to you as well.”

You hadn’t expected him to actually come to apologize to you as well “Uhm..”  
"I was hoping we could move past this.” He was persistent, but he also sounded genuine.  
“I accept your apology.” You sighed reluctantly, you didn’t want to remain angry at the man. Maybe he really was sorry for how he had acted and you decided to give him a second chance.  
“Really ?” He sounded suprised but composed himself “Great. That’s great. Look uhm… I was wondering if you would like to come to one of our card games in the pub sometime ?”  
The question took you by suprise “I… I’m afraid I don’t know how to play those games.”  
He answered a bit _too_ excited “I.. can teach you ? I’m _really_ good at cards, I win all the time.”  
You got suspicious, now believing there was more to his seemingly innocent invitation “I uh… I’ll think about it.”  
You remained courteous to Tobias, so far he had done nothing wrong anymore.  
Tobias’s smile faltered a little at your hesitant answer “Alright, come find me in the pub tonight if you do want to join in.”  
You gave a short nod, smiling a bit forced and watched as he walked away.  
You put your focus back on hanging the sheets up to dry.

  
It seemed that Tobias still had in interest in you.  
Tobias had no idea you and Lancelot were a couple, it had only been a few days and you kept your displays of affection mostly inside the house. Preferably out of Percival’s sight, at the boy’s own request. Besides, kissing is far less romantic when there is a snarky child making gagging sounds at the sight of it.  
So it was a suprise when Lancelot’s arms sneaked around your waist now, pulling your back against his chest. You didn’t have to wonder for long why he had made this a public display.  
“What did Tobias want now ?” His breath tickled your ear. His voice perfectly hiding how much he disliked that the man still proceeded to put his attention on you.  
“He apologized to me as well.” You sighed and leaned into him a little.  
He was silent for a moment, it alerted you that he didn’t like hearing it.  
To him this meant Tobias would continue to pursue you. He always believed the man had apologized to him only to gain your favor again.  
“What ?” You inquired at his persistent silence.  
He made a clicking noise with his tongue “He is too persistent to be near you. And it is always when I am not in his sights.”  
Now you turned your head to look at him “You cannot possibly be jealous of him.”  
“Of course not.” He just didn’t like to see him near you. Or talk to you. Or look at you.  
You squinted your eyes at him “Liar.”  
“I am not jealous.” He spoke firmly again, sounding just a tad too defensive.  
Then you casually said “Alright. Good. Then you won’t mind that he asked me if I wanted to join him in one of the card games at the pub tonight.”  
You could feel him tense up and he was quite for a moment too long.  
“He what ?” His voice was low, barely restraining the growing frustration inside of him.  
The corner of your mouth twitched, it was impossible to miss the change in his voice “He said he would teach me how to play. Doesn’t sound too bad to me.”  
He was eerily quiet, you felt him move you closer against him “Do you intend to go to the pub tonight ?”  
He wanted to know, because if you were going to the pub where Tobias would be, he would surely tag along.  
You shrugged your shoulders, doing your best to act casual and innocent “Why not ? You are clearly not worried he might have other intentions then teaching me how to play cards. Then I guess I have nothing to worry about.”  
He hated the image it put in his mind where Tobias would actually attempt to get closer to you, that he would flirt with you or even try to touch you in the dimly lit pub.  
After another second you actually giggled and scoffed, putting your hands on his that he had placed on your stomach to hold you close.  
It was then he realised you were messing with him, he drew a deep breath out of sheer frustration “Y/n.”  
Then you looked at him seeing how he was still calming down “Gods, Lancelot. It’s so obvious that you are jealous !”  
He groaned and you felt his arms move away from you, you were quick to grab his hands and moved them back. Holding his arms firmly around you.  
You rubbed your nose against his cheek before kissing it “You know there is only one man that I want to sleep next to. Only one person who loves me and somehow still has his sanity.”  
“Barely.” He blurted out and you turned in his arms, now facing him.  
“What was that ?” You quirked a brow at him, daring him to repeat it.  
His mouth curved into a smirk and he pulled you against him swiftly.  
You let out a suprised gasp and placed your hands on his chest, grabbing onto his leather jerkin.  
He leaned in to kiss you right next to your ear “You are driving me…” then below it “..insane.”  
“Am I ?” You said in that familiar fake innocent voice he recognised but all to well.  
He hummed and pulled you even closer, keeping his hands firmly on your waist.  
Your hands trailed up his chest, letting your fingers brush his neck.  
His mouth brushed against your jaw before moving down your neck.  
The feeling of him holding you so firmly while exploring your neck with his mouth made your knees go weak.  
You slided your hands down his chest before gripping his waist and holding him flush against you.  
He took hold of your chin with his fingers, his mouth was on yours only a second later.  
First gingerly but when you squeezed his waist he deepened the kiss. His fingers were digging in your waist to hold you close.  
When you shyly let your tongue touch his bottom lip he emitted a low sound against your mouth. You hadn’t dared to do that before but he did not seem to mind, quite the opposite.  
When you grabbed a hold on his shoulders you brushed up against him a bit. Suddenly he broke the kiss and gently but quickly moved you away from him a little so you were no longer standing against him, his hands still firmly on your waist.  
His cheeks were flushed and you noticed he avoided looking you in the eye for a moment.  
You got worried, had you done something wrong ? “Are you alright ?”  
He casted his eyes to the ground as he gave a short nod.  
You could tell it was a lie, there was something he wasn’t telling you. This was not the first time he had suddenly stopped kissing you and had moved you away from him. You had asked him before if there was something wrong, and he had avoided answering then as well.  
“Did I do something wrong ?” You tried to remain calm, but felt a lump forming in your throat.  
His eyes snapped to your face now, his voice firm “No.” he sighed “No. You did not.”  
You looked down at the ground, not understanding what was going on “I should get back to putting those linen up to dry.”  
You moved out of his grip and picked up the bucket with linen in silence, not looking at him as you walked away. You didn’t understand why one moment he was kissing you as if his life depended on it and the next moment he just moved you away from him.

It was starting to make you feel terribly self-concious. You were beginning to believe you were the problem and that maybe he was afraid to tell you.

Perhaps you smelled bad to him ?

Perhaps your breath was the problem ?

Perhaps he thought you were bad at kissing ?

You tried to shake those thoughts, if those were the reason then he surely would not kiss you like that everytime. Still, the doubts and worries had nested themselves inside of you.

You were left to wonder why he was pushing you away from him.

  
Lancelot watched in silence as you walked away from him. He hated to see how you reacted everytime he moved you away from him. As if you thought you had done something wrong, as if you believed it was your fault.  
When you had brushed up against him like that he had felt himself harden. He worried what your reaction would be. It had happened before, and he had always moved away from you before you would be able to notice.  
He dearly wished he didn’t have to move away and stop kissing you.

When he was with the Red Paladins he had taken a vow of celibacy, a vow he had kept unlike some of the paladins. A vow that Father had claimed would help lead him to his salvation. He was taught to believe fornication was a sin. He was taught many things that would make him worthy or unworthy of God’s love. He had served the god he was pushed to believe in and it had only given him darkness. None of it had brought him anything close to the love he felt now. The love he felt for you and the boy, the love the both of you felt for him… he was loved and he was happy. He did not need God’s approval anymore. He did not _want_ the opinion of a god that had shown him nothing but cruelty. The more time he spend around the fey and around you, the more he abandoned his old beliefs.

When he thought he had lost you that night, it was not God that had aided him, it was those who he was raised to ignore. It was then that he truly began to push aside everything he was taught to believe in and he had never felt so free before. It felt good, it felt right.

If loving you was a sin, then let hell be his paradise.

It was not the vow that was the obstacle, he no longer cared for a promise he had made to a cruel god, it was his own insecurity that was causing the problem now.

How he would speak to you about this, without shutting down, was another question. How would he even start this conversation ? He’d never had to talk to someone about this topic before.  
He had never bed a woman before, he barely knew anything about it apart from what he had once overheard from the paladins. But he doubted he could rely on their words to be true.  
Of course he had gotten hard in his life before, but it was _far_ less of a problem in the past then it was now.  
Even though he had left his old life behind, he still rarely would help himself in this situation. He was taught that acting on it would worsen and increase the desire. That it would become harder to avoid, and more frequent.  
But not long after arriving here it had become far more frequent anyway, the fact that you were in his thoughts so much was the cause. The nights were the most difficult times now, ever since that first night his ’ _problem_ ’ had occurred each time he slept next to you. And sometimes as he held you in his arms, your back against his chest, you would subconsciously move backwards a little. Feeling you brush against him like that for just one second was enough for it to occur. When it happened he forced himself to think about anything else but you. Forced himself to look at anything else but you in your nightgown that crept up in your sleep. Focused on anything that would help as he waited for the ‘problem’ to settle down again.  
He would have to find a moment to talk to you about it soon. Before you would figure it out yourself, or before you began to think you were the problem.  
  


OoooOOOoooOOOoOOoOOOooOooOO

Not long after you had finished with the chore, you were called upon by some villagers. There was a wounded fey and they couldn’t find the healer right away so you went along with them to see if you could help while others searched for Nyra and the healer. They had called upon you before when a child had fallen and it had caused a nasty cut on the boy’s knee.

You had helped the fey that was wounded now, the only bad thing about it was that the fey was on the ground in the entrance of the tunnels. There were other fey around as you helped the wounded woman, but that was not enough to make Lancelot calm down when he saw you in the tunnel entrance. Memories of you hallucinating in those same tunnels, drove him to act on impulse.

As you were knelt beside the wounded fey, suddenly an arm snaked around you and you felt yourself be pulled from the ground and out of the tunnel entrance. The other feys looked on in suprise, Nyra had just arrived with the village’s healer to attend to the wounded fey and she send you a compassionate look as Lancelot continued to drag behind him away from the tunnels ignoring your loud protests.

You were beyond angry at his reaction, finally you ripped your arm out of his grasp. You were so furious at the humiliating display that you began to shout at him before storming back home.

OooOOOOoooOOOoOOoOOOooOooOO

You were laying on your bed, still seething as you tried to focus on the book in your hand. You hadn’t seen or spoken to Lancelot since you had argued with him before storming home earlier that day. But you knew he would be home soon, and after a few more minutes you heard the door open and close downstairs. You inhaled sharply through your nose when you heard him move up the stairs not long after. He knocked on the door of your shared room before he entered. Something he always did.

“Come in.” The anger in your voice laced through those few words. You had resisted the strong urge to call out _'Stay out’_ to him instead.

He slowly opened the door and walked inside before shutting it again. Lancelot looked around the room, he hadn’t seen the boy in the house and had thought he would be in the room with you “Where’s Percival ?”

You didn’t look up from the book you were reading as you answered him coldly “He’s staying over at a friend’s house tonight.”

He picked up on your cold tone of voice and turned to look at you. He understood what this was about, this was about him dragging you away from the tunnel entrance earlier that day. Something he did _not_ feel sorry for.

He took a deep breath, knowing that his question would unleash the storm raging in your eyes “You know why I reacted the way I did today, y/n. Is this why you are mad at me ?”

You snapped the book shut loudly and put it down as you stood up “I can’t believe you did that ! I was helping that woman ! And you just… ARGH!” 

Lancelot clenched his jaw, still angry that after what happened you would still go near those tunnels “Do you think the tunnels care that you were helping that woman? What if you started hallucinating again ? What if you got lost in them again ?!”

You threw your hands up before dropping them to your sides in sheer frustration “There were other fey around, it was safe for me !”

Lancelot knew that, he had seen the fey and how they had watched when he had dragged you away from the tunnels. But it did little to calm him down, he had lost you once already, he was not willing to take any risks anymore.

His voice was firm, his eyes unyielding as he spoke to you “I don’t want you near those tunnels, y/n. Not when you are alone, not when you are with other fey and certainly not when I am not there ! Have you forgotten what happened to you the last time you were inside those tunnels ?!”

You knew he was right, but you disliked being scolded like this. And you disliked that you found him even more attractive when he was this worried to the point where he lost his patience and dropped his stoic facade.

And that might be why you remained so defiant now.

You glared at him, barely containing your frustration “You can’t tell me what I can’t or cannot do, Lancelot.”

His expression hardened and his voice was low as he spoke again “Do not go near those tunnels again, y/n.”

There was no room for discussion. Not when your life was at stake.

You stepped closer to him now, ignoring how thrilling it was to see him this protective “Or what ?”

His eyes narrowed and they looked darker, darker then you could ever expect his blue ones to be. Lancelot wasn’t sure if it was the fire in your eyes or the fact that you seemed to challenge him yet again, but he slowly felt his anger turn into something else “I will drag you away each and every time, I don’t care how many people will be there to see it.”

Now you narrowed your eyes at him, you knew he was not joking “Fine. I won’t go near those tunnels without you.”

He looked pleased with your answer, believing he had won this and then you said something you _knew_ would push his buttons.

You spoke in that familiar fake innocent voice “Happy now… _Monk_ ?”

His eyes darkened again, he knew you did it to get on his nerves “What did you just call me ?”

You quirked a brow at him arrogantly before replying “I called you _Mo_ -”

He did not let you finish that sentence, it was not his name and you were very aware that he disliked it. It reminded him of how much you had once hated him, of a person he had ceased to be, he would never go back to that.

You yelped in suprise as he firmly cupped your face and his lips crashed to yours in a bruising kiss. He pulled you flush against him as he deepened the kiss. It had slammed the air from your lungs and after a couple of seconds you gasped for air. You barely had the time to take a breath before he claimed your lips again, his mouth moved against yours mercilessly. He was like a storm crashing down over you and all you could do was hang on to his arms. After another moment he pulled back a little.

He did not let go off you, he did not let you move away, his hands on your waist kept you firmly in place. His anger was gone, it was replaced with the aspiration to make you call him by his actual name.

“That’s not my name.” His mouth ghosted over yours as he whispered it.

You swallowed hard, he had kissed you many times before but never like this, something felt different.

He brushed his nose against yours, but made sure his lips did not touch yours “You know my name. Say it.”

You bit your lip, breathing heavily, hating how he was able to make you forget why you were even angry in the first place. And still, you were not willing to yield to him just yet.

He felt how you shook your head a little, a sign of your unyielding defiance. The corner of his mouth turned up, he would never admit it to you but he loved that about you. It thrilled him to no end. His competitive nature was fed by your defiance. He leaned down, letting his nose brush against your neck upwards until his mouth was hovering over your ear “Say my name, y/n..”

_Silence._

Your stubborness was faltering quickly, he was deliberately withholding on kissing you and you hated how it was working in his favor. He knew he was winning this little game, your silence was what alerted him to that. He let his fingers draw small slow circles on your waist, still waiting for you to speak. You tilted your head, trying to turn the tables by kissing his jaw, but he tilted his head just out of reach again. He quickly used his other hand to gently but firmly tilt your head so you couldn’t try to kiss him again, not until he had heard you say it.

His mouth hovered close to your ear again “Why should I let you kiss me if you don’t even acknowledge my name ?”

“Please… Lancelot.” You pleaded with a breathy voice.

He tilted his head just enough so he could look you in the eyes, he knew he would win but the way you had just said his name stirred something inside of him. He could feel how quick you were breathing and it matched his own. He cupped your cheek, brushing his thumb along it as he leaned in to kiss you. Lancelot placed a quick peck on your lips before pulling away a little. You frowned until you saw the grin on his face, he was messing with you. Two could play that game. His eyes darted from yours to your lips and he leaned in again but this time you turned your head trying to avoid his lips. He quirked a brow, noticing the smile on your lips, but he had played this game with you before. He had anticipated you turning your head away and was quick to tilt his head so his lips landed on yours anyway.

His mouth captured yours and you could feel him smile against your lips. You could feel the result of driving him insane moments ago, the kiss was fueled by it. He tangled his fingers in your hair, his hand cradling your head. He walked you backwards until your back hit the wall, his hand protecting your head from the impact.

He stood flush against you, his body covering you like a cloak. His lips moved from your mouth to your cheek and when they landed on your jaw you could have sworn you felt him use his teeth there. Your hand snaked up to his neck, pulling him even closer, and you placed a lingering kiss on his jaw. And as he moved to kiss your neck you continued to press your lips to every part of him that you could manage to reach.

Lancelot tilted your head back a little so he could kiss your throat. His other hand focused on keeping you close to him and when he moved it up a little it skimmed under the hem of your shirt, touching the bare skin of your lower back. You grabbed on to his shoulder and tried to move even closer, hoping that his warm hand would continue touching your bare skin. It seemed to work as you could feel his hand go higher, his fingers spreading across your lower back. The combination of him kissing your neck while touching your bare skin made you light-headed.

After the both of you confessed your love for each other there had been many moments such as this, but it had never moved past the point of kissing. Him now touching your bare back like this was new. You squeezed his arm and tugged on it lightly, signalling to him that he could touch you more if he wanted to. A low noise escaped him and you felt how he moved his hand up your spine before slowly dragging his hand down it.

Feeling that motion combined with him relentlessly kissing your throat and neck caused you to make a sound you never expected. The sound that suddenly escaped from your lips sounded foreign even to your ears. You had no experience, but the girls in Mirstone had talked about theirs often. You considered most of it to be just exaggeration. But you had learned from listening to them as well. You knew what the sound had been and why it happened, still it took you by suprise when it slipped out of you now.

Lancelot took a sharp breath at the sound of you moaning. You felt him stop kissing your neck and you froze. You worried what he was thinking. You worried that he had stopped _again._ You had no idea that he had stopped only because the moment he had heard the sound fall from your lips his mind had gone blank. And then it was flooded with something he could only describe as an intense desire to touch you more, to hold you much closer then he was already holding you. And that feeling coursed down his body, some of it settling in his groin. He tried to breath normally, feeling panic rise within him as his arousal was becoming prominent. He pulled back a little, shifting his body so he was no longer standing against you so closely.

He had stopped kissing you again and this time it felt like your last bit of self-esteem had left you.  
“What am I doing wrong ?” You asked him quietly as you tried to keep yourself together. But your voice was shaky, a warning that you were close to crying.  
Immediately his eyes were on your face, seeing how yours were casted to the ground. You hadn’t asked him _if_ you had done something wrong just now, you had asked him _what_ you had done wrong. Now he knew that you believed it was your fault that he had stopped again.  
Lancelot was speechless as he looked at you now.  
You still didn’t look at him, you didn’t want him to see the tears that were starting to form “Please, just tell me… maybe I can work on it… I’ll work on it.”  
At that something in him shifted, he couldn’t stand to see you hurt like this.  
He gingerly took hold of your chin and tilted your head up, his eyes meeting yours “Y/n…”  
“Do I smell bad ?” You had to know the truth.  
He frowned at your question, you smelled anything but bad to him “No. Of course not. Why would you-”  
You fired another question at him “Is it because I am bad at this ?”  
He was getting more confused by the second “Y/n. What are you-”  
You began to ramble nervously “If I’m bad at kissing I can get better, it’s still so new, I’m sure I’ll get better. I promise I -”

He could see you become more and more distressed and stopped you before you could finish speaking. He cupped your cheek and pressed his lips to yours rigorously, silencing you. Hoping to silence your worries and fears. When he moved his lips away from yours you tried to speak again. Lancelot hushed you, letting his forehead rest against yours “It’s not you, y/n. You do not smell bad, and I would never stop kissing you if I could.”

You frowned a little, still not knowing what the reason was then “Then please tell me why you stop… I just want to understand.”  
“I don’t know how to… _proceed_.” His words were vague, carrying a silent hope that you would understand his meaning.  
You were silent for a long moment, repeating his words in your mind over and over again until it clicked.  
He stood before you, growing more anxious and worried by the second. He felt like he had made a fool of himself just now.  
“Oh…” You finally breathed out, understanding his meaning “So that is why you stop everytime ? Are you…afraid to… _proceed_ ?”

He found it hard to tell you this. How would you react to the news ? 

He gave a short nod before clarifying “But I am not afraid to.. _proceed_. It’s just… I have never…”

“… _Proceeded_ ?” You quietly guessed, using his vague choice of words as well. You understood what he was trying to say. He had never been intimate with someone before.

You brushed your hand over his cheek “There is no rush, Lancelot. There is no need to worry about that. I love you, we will figure out how to proceed. Together.”

He relaxed a bit when he saw that you were not alarmed or even disappointed at his confession. Lancelot decided to just be brave and tell you the truth there and then “I want to… _proceed_. With you.”

His words but a mere whisper hanged in the air between the both of you. It was not something you expected him to admit so openly, it was a suprise to say the least. He got flustered so easily and now he was brave enough to tell you the truth about this.

“I’m aware.” You whispered back, hoping to calm his nerves by teasing him a little.

Your odd reply confused Lancelot until you let your eyes go down his body slowly before looking back up at him. He had unconciously moved closer to you again, now he understood how you were made _'aware’_. His cheeks were flushed now, he should have known you would continue to drive him insane at any given opportunity. He wanted to move away from you to give you space but you were quick to grab the leather of his jerkin, keeping him close to you. Now you fully understood why he always moved away from you.

“Don’t hide yourself from me, Lancelot.” You repeated the words he had said to you the day he had confessed his love for you, and then quietly added “I haven’t either…”

Lancelot hid his suprise at your confession, he felt himself relax more. This was new to the both of you.

“But I want to…” You admitted and you swore you could see his pupils dilate “I don’t care that it may not be perfect. I only care that it’s with you.”

The corner of his mouth turned up, his hands gripped your waist a little tighter “Are you sure ?”  
You nodded without hesitation “I am. And you ? I mean… with the paladins, there was the vow of celibacy wasn’t there ?”  
He silently nodded and brushed his fingers along your jaw “All this time I served a god who taught me nothing but cruelty, in the end you were always my salvation. No god can keep me from loving you, y/n. No vow can prevent me from wanting you, I revoke the vow. So yes, I am sure.“  
You swallowed thickly, you cupped his face and he rested his forehead against yours. You tilted your head brushing your lips to his “And here I was, thinking you thought I was a bad kisser or something.”

He didn’t reply, at least not with words. He firmly cupped your face, his other hand gripping your hip, he began to kiss you just as passionately as he had done before he had stopped. But this time he did not step away or stop, this time he pulled you closer to him. He was no longer self-concious, and his worries disappeared when he felt you brush against him and it did not startle you.

You could feel his hardness against you, you understood now why he had always moved you away from him, had he not done so it would have been _very_ obvious to you that it was happening. It made you wonder just how many times he had gotten hard around you. The idea that he got so aroused by you that this was the result was flattering to say the least.

His fingers gingerly skimmed under the hem of you shirt again. You smiled against his lips when you felt how cautious he was acting now. You moved your hand to his and then guided his hand under the hem of your shirt, placing his hand over the bare skin of you lower back again. You felt him dig his fingers into your skin in response and you tried to swallow the small moan in your throat.

He still heard it and to your dismay he moved his hand away from your back. His mouth was still eagerly moving with yours when you felt him tug once on the cords of your bodice. You opened your eyes, looking down from his face, to his fingers tangling in the leather cords of your bodice.

Lancelot was looking down at them as well now, twirling them between his fingers lightly “May I ?”

He was asking so quietly that he almost whispered it to you. It took you a second to understand what he was asking, you finally nodded slowly.

His eyes searched yours, he wanted you to verbalize your answer before he would move forward “Y/n ?”

Now your eyes locked on his and you realised he was waiting for your answer “Yes.”

You nodded again and smiled shyly, only at your confirmation did he proceed.

Lancelot started to painfully slowly unlace your leather bodice. He went from flaming passion to patiently taking of the leather piece. He was savoring the moment and you were not complaining. You didn’t even touch him as he unlaced it.  
You smirked at him, watching how focused he was on what he was doing was entertaining to see. It was hard not to make a witty remark. He must have felt you staring at him because his eyes suddenly locked on yours.  
And when he noticed the smirk on your face he stopped unlacing the leather and instead grabbed onto it to pull you flush against him. His lips crashed to yours with ferocity before he quickly pulled back and smirked at you. Your eyes were blown wide, your hands had landed on his arms to steady yourself.  
Then he went back to focus on unlacing the leather piece. Once he finished unlacing it, his hands went to your hips.  
"Turn around.” He said huskily and you did as he asked. You stood now facing away from him, your back to his chest.  
He slowly let the leather piece slide down from your arms as he took it off of you. He let it drop to the ground and his hands landed on your shoulders, before letting them trail down your arms. You felt shivers go down your arms at his touch and your heart fluttered when you felt him place a kiss on the back of your head. He trailed his fingers from your jaw, down your neck and over your shoulder, letting them brush your shirt away exposing your shoulder more. He leaned in and placed a lingering kiss on the bare skin there.  
Lancelot brushed his lips against your ear “Tell me when you want me to stop, and I will stop.”  
You could only nod when you heard how out of breath he sounded.  
He knew you had nodded but he needed you to verbalise it, he squeezed your shoulder “Shall I stop ?”  
“No.” This time you spoke up, and it made you realise how out of breath you already felt as well. He’d barely touched you and you were already a mess.  
“Please, don’t stop.” You clarified so there could be no misunderstanding what that 'no’ was reffering to.  
He let out a low guttural sound that send a shiver down your spine when you felt it rumble in his chest.  
Lancelot brushed his lips above your ear then below it. One of his hands landed on your abdomen as he held you against him. His other hand trailed down your arm, to your hip and when his mouth was focusing on your neck, it went _lower_. He caressed your thigh with a featherlight touch, dragging the tips of his fingers along it before moving to your bottom.  
You felt the heat rise to your face when you felt where his hand had wandered to.  
And then he suddenly _squeezed_ your bottom.  
You almost jumped at his bold action, and let out a loud gasp.  
You quickly turned your head back to look at him, and he looked back at you with a shy smirk but was unable to hide the mischief in his eyes.  
He waited for a second to see if you would push him away after that.  
You were quiet for a moment and didn’t look back at him, it was irresistible not to mess with him when you could. You knew he had done that to get a rise out of you, it was clear that he loved to mess with you just as much as you loved to mess with him. But you actually _liked_ it when he had done that.  
When you felt him place another kiss on the back of your head you finally spoke up.  
“Do that again.” You said almost casually. A hint of a dare.  
You felt his chest rise and fall and heard how he had taken a sharp intake of air.  
  


  
Lancelot had done it mostly to mess with you…mostly. And because he felt a strong desire to touch as much of you as you would allow him to. And when you had asked him to do it again, he almost couldn’t believe it. His heart was hammering in his chest so fast that he wondered if you could feel or hear it. This time his hand was unsteady when he moved it back to where it had been moments ago.  
He held his breath as he repeated the action again.  
Lancelot heard the moan you tried to fight, the sound of it made him close his eyes and focus on his breathing. His hand had not moved from the spot and he caressed it once more before moving his hand back up. As his hand went to your waist he slid it under the hem of your shirt, his fingers now brushing against the warm skin of your abdomen. He felt you lean into him more and let his hand skim higher.  
He tilted your head to the side so his mouth had more freedom to explorer. He sucked the skin beneath your ear, drawing another moan from you in response.  
You were breathing heavily when you felt his hand sneak under your shirt, you put your hand over the one he had under there and slowly guided it up and set it over your breast.  
You heard his breath hitch and he didn’t move his hand at all for a moment. He was breathing rapidly through his nose, you could hear it close to your ear.  
You squeezed his hand now set over your breast, signalling to him that it was okay.  
Another second past before he gently started to knead and fondle at his leisure.  
You turned your head to look at him and when your eyes found his they looked hazy. You turned your arm so you held onto his neck, he brushed his nose against yours before capturing your lips with his. Lancelot was breathing sharply through his nose as he kissed you and caressed you.

After a while he moved his hand down, spreading it over your stomach. You could sense that he wanted you to turn around so you did.

When you turned around you pulled his face to yours immediately, pressing a fierce kiss to his lips. Then you dragged your hands up and down his chest, hoping he would understand the hint.  
Lancelot barely felt your hands moving over his chest, there were too many layers of fabric between his skin and your touch.  
You started to fumble with the fabric, he smiled flashing his teeth when he saw how impatient you were. His torso was nothing new to you and yet you were so eager now.  
A chuckle escaped him and he decided not to torture you with this “Let me.”  
You looked at his face and he moved away a bit, he had never bared his torso this fast in front of you. Every second away from you only heightened the need he felt growing. He tossed his shirt and jerkin on top of your bodice on the floor.  
The moment his torso was bare, you stepped in front of him. Tracing your hands over his chest, before leaning in and leaving a trail of kisses on him.  
He sighed wistfully at the gesture and his hand sneaked into your hair as he kissed your head. He pulled you close to him and your lips went to his neck, then under his jaw.  
That was when he tilted his head and captured your lips with his again. This kiss was different, it was slow, soft and gentle.  
He kissed you so lovingly that it only fueled your desire for him. You could feel an ache growing between your legs.  
The need for him was getting stronger and it made you braver.  
“Lancelot ?” You began to muster up the courage to ask him.

He hummed in response as his mouth wandered to your shoulder. You swallowed nervously, knowing that this could get embarrassing. But the ache grew stronger and your voice sounded more desperate then you had wanted it to sound “Can you…do you want to… I need you…I need you to…”

You couldn’t form the question, you weren’t brave enough to just ask him. Lancelot’s mouth hovered to your ear a second later when he realised you were having trouble asking him something.

“What do you need ?” He almost purred it into your ear.

You took his hand from your waist and guided it downwards, past the waistband of your pants. He let you move his hand, tensing for only a second when he realised where you were guiding it to. You dared to look at his face, his eyes looked darker, his mouth slighty agape. He searched your eyes for the answer to his unspoken question.

“I need you…” You managed to say. It almost sounded like begging, and perhaps it was.

He drew a sharp breath as he nodded, it made you relax. A look was shared between you before you began to guide his hand past your undergarment, until it was where you needed him most. You loosely held his hand close to your warmth and moved it a little closer towards the ache you felt.  
You knew you would have to give him some form of direction in this, but your confidence was wavering again. He moved his fingers closer to your warmth, the tips of his fingers barely touching you.

His voice was strained as he let his finger lightly brush against your warmth “May I ?”

You answered with a breathy “Yes…please…”

He moved slowly, giving you the chance to stop him in case he would make a mistake. You dug your fingers in his arm when you felt his fingers brush against you. But he was hesitant, he didn’t want to accidentally hurt you.

“Will you guide me ?” He whispered into your ear. Eagerly awaiting for you to show him, to teach him.

It actually made you smile and you nodded as you placed your hand over his again. First you adjusted his fingers then you guided him to your warmth, slowly sliding his fingers where you needed them. He felt his throat go dry, you felt so warm down there. He didn’t know it would feel like this. When his fingers found and touched the sensitive bud down there your knees almost buckled. Until now you had only touched yourself that way. The fact that it was him doing it now heightened the feeling. He watched with eyes clouded with fascination and lust, and quickly learned that touching you like this brought you pleasure. He continued to do so, relishing in every sound you made. You were clinging to him, clawing at his shoulder and arm as he continued to touch you, moaning louder against his chest with each stroke of his fingers.

When you began to pant heavily he stopped. He moved his hands behind your legs and picked you up, locking your ankles behind his back. You yelped in suprise and wrapped your arms around him tightly. Lancelot chuckled at your suprised expression, and pressed another kiss to your jaw.

“You better not drop me.” You warned, quirking a brow at him.

He moved you in the direction of the bed with a wicked glint in his eyes “I won’t.”

And then he actually dared to drop you, your back hit the bed.

A smirk was tugging at the corner of his mouth as he looked down at you.

You glared up at him in return and snapped “I can’t believe you just dropped me !”

You swallowed thickly when you saw the look in his eyes change, remembering that he _loved_ to see you angry, something that was now _very_ clear to you. His pupils were dilated as he let his eyes travel over your body. You were starting to feel self-concious again, he looked like he was undressing you with his eyes. He put his knee on the bed as he began to move towards you.

A nervous feeling settled within you and you crawled back on the bed, he moved towards you putting his hand beneath your knee and pulling you back a little. You fell on your back and he was hovering above you now. Lancelot leaned down to kiss you, sucking your top lip before doing the same to your bottom lip. He quickly moved downwards when you tangled your fingers in his hair. When he had touched you he had stopped right before you were about to reach your climax. It left you with an even worse ache now, you needed him closer to you.

When he lowered to kiss your collarbone you repositioned your hips a little, opening your legs and he lowered even more. He was almost flush against you now. He kept himself propped up on his elbow.  
His groin was at the same level as yours now and as he leaned closer to kiss you his crotch lightly moved against yours. After feeling him brush against you like that you were overcome by the desire to feel him against you like that again.  
You pulled him lower against you with his hips, hearing how he inhaled sharply through his nose. This time you reached up to cup his face, kissing him hungrily as you lifted your hips a little and moved against him.  
Lancelot groaned into your mouth at the contact. He wrapped an arm around you, lifting your hips a little as he repeated the movement you had just done. You rolled your hips together like this for a bit and you moaned at the feeling of him moving against your groin. The layers of clothing between you were becoming unbearable. When he grinded against you once more he pulled you as close as he could. You could feel his erection press against your groin like this and you couldn’t muffle the loud moan falling from your lips.  
He was almost panting as he pressed his lips to the side of your face.  
“I want you.” His voice low and breathy, laced with desire.  
You nodded and grabbed the sides of his face, pulling him down to your lips.  
Letting your hands travel over his chest as his mouth moved against yours fervently.  
When his hand moved to the hem of your shirt you grabbed onto his arm. The layer of fabric forming a barrier between you.  
In a moment of confidence you asked “Help me take this off”.  
Your hand went to the one he held near the hem of your shirt, taking it before placing it on the hem. Lancelot understood what you meant and he took hold of it “Are you sure ?”  
You nodded nervously and he helped you take of your shirt, pulling it carefully over your head before dropping it on the floor next to the bed.  
You laid before him now, your chest bare. You felt your confidence wavering and felt the urge to cover yourself from his intense gaze.  
When you moved a hand to cover yourself he took your hand, stopping you from doing so.  
You looked up at him, breathing rapid as you saw his gaze travel over your bare torso and exposed breasts.  
When his eyes finally reached your own there was a dark glint in them.  
He looked at you as if he wanted to devour you. You got nervous and tried to wriggle your hand from his. He could tell you were self-concious and instead of letting go of your hand, he laced his fingers with yours and pinned your hand above your head as he leaned down to brush his mouth against your neck. Placing a long lingering kiss there.  
“Don’t hide yourself from me. ” His breath ghosted over your ear.  
You used your other arm to cover yourself, you couldn’t help it.  
Lancelot noticed it and began to focus on your neck. He trailed his lips all over your neck, letting his teeth graze on the skin below your ear before sucking the skin between his teeth there.  
“You’re beautiful. Let me see you.” He purred into your ear, encouraging you.

Slowly you moved your arm away again, relaxing under his touch and praises, wrapping it around him instead. You were careful not to accidentally touch the scars on his back that could hurt him. By now you had memorized which ones hurt and which did not.

He began to trail his lips down your body and your fingers curled into his hair. As he moved down his fingers went under the waistband of your pants, he gazed up at you through his lashes, silently asking permission. You nodded to him and he slowly slid them off of your body. He kissed your stomach before removing your undergarment as well. You felt the urge to clasp your legs shut, again your self-concious bothered you. Lancelot must have sensed it as he moved himself so you couldn’t move your legs together. His mouth travelled down from your stomach to right below your navel. He began to press his lips to your skin trailing a path of featherlight kisses down to your inner thigh.  
Having his face so close to your warmth made you writh nervously. He paused for a moment as if he was deciding on something.  
When he brushed his lips to your inner thigh again you couldn’t stop the moan that fell from your lips. He took it as encouragement which helped his decission.  
When you felt his mouth against your warmth you jolted in suprise and let out a whimper.  
He gripped your hip a little, keeping you in place close to him like this. You looked down at him with curiously, the women from Mirstone had never mentioned this in their stories before. Lancelot looked up at you, his expression almost innocent but his eyes told a different story.  
His focus went back to your warmth and before you could figure out what he was doing, he pressed his lips down there again and let his tongue explore you.  
Your head fell backwards at the pleasure it brought.  
Your writhed but he kept you in place with a hand on your hip and the other on your thigh.  
He was listening to the satisfied noises coming from you and it spurred him on. He found the sensitive bud his fingers had previously been occupied with and began the focus on it.  
You moaned his name as you brought a hand down to his hair, letting your fingers massage his scalp. The women of Mirstone definitely never mentioned this before.  
He began to tease you, his tongue moving against you with a purpose.  
The louder you moaned the more eager he got, it was driving you insane.  
You finally squeezed his hand that he had on your hip, pulling his attention “Lancelot…”  
Seeing him like this, doing his best to please you, had made you far more aroused then you already were.  
You wanted him, all of him. 

His eyes locked on yours and you reached out, placing your hands on his arms, making him hover above you again. Then you cupped his face and kissed him deeply, you tugged at his bottom lip lightly with your teeth before sucking it softly. He groaned into your mouth, his hand cupping your face.  
You moved your lips away from his, rubbing your nose against his.  
“I want you.” You whispered against his lips.  
You swore you saw his eyes darken for a moment as he looked down into yours.  
“Are you sure ?” Lancelot asked for your consent.  
You nodded eagerly, eyes hazy with desire “I’m sure.”  
He made quick work removing his own trousers before he was hovering above you again. The fact that both of you were bare now made you less self-concious. Less nervous.  
You got bold and trailed your hand down his body slowly as he captured your lips with his.  
He seemed rather preoccupied with kissing you and didn’t really register where your hand was wandering to.  
When you moved your hand down and palmed him, stroking him once, he almost fell on top of you. Not expecting the sudden shock of pleasure it had send through him. He emitted a low deep moan against your mouth.  
He pulled back just a little to look at you with a mixture of suprise and pure lust. You smirked up at him, his response only fueled you arousal. When you stroked him again as you looked him in the eyes the dark glint in his eyes returned. He drew a sharp breath, leaning down he sank his teeth in your jaw before pressing his lips to the spot, nipping and sucking the now sensitive skin.

  
Then you used your other hand to steer his hips a little, so you could align him with your entrance.  
He understood what you were trying to do and moved so you could help guide him.  
You got anxious when you felt his tip against you now, thankfully he had spend his time on you and your arousal was evident.  
He could feel how wet you were, how warm it already felt and he let out a groan.  
You aligned him, and squeezed his hip.  
“Are you sure you’re ready ?” He needed to hear you say it.  
You swallowed nervously and nodded “I’m ready. I want this. Just… go slow. Please ?”  
Lancelot gave you a reassuring nod, he knew this could hurt a woman. It was the last thing he would ever want to happen “Of course.”  
He leaned down to kiss you, letting his hand wander to your thigh “I love you.”

You smiled up at him, whispering the same thing to him. Then he carefully began to move into you.

He entered you slowly, a deep moan rumbled in his chest.  
Even though he was moving slowly you still hissed at the sensation, and placed a hand on his chest, halting him.  
He stilled instantly, a look of concern washed over his features “Stop ?”  
“Wait.” You breathed.  
You took a few deep breaths. The way he looked at you with such a worried expression made you feel safe. He wasn’t pushing you to continue, he was waiting patiently. When you had placed your hand on his chest he had stopped right away. He made you feel safe, you were safe with him.  
When he began to trail his lips in your neck, you felt yourself relax.  
“I’m alright…” You reassured him and a look was shared between you.  
Even slower then before he proceeded to move until he was fully sheeted inside of you. The low sound that he emitted was one you would never forget.  
You both took a moment to get used to the sensation, it did not feel unpleasant.  
His eyes scanned your face for any signs of discomfort or pain, and when he saw none he pressed his lips to yours. First lightly but when you reached up and tangled your fingers in his hair the kiss turned hard and deep.  
You moaned into his mouth when he moved just a little as he kissed you. It was unintentional but it felt good, and you longed for more. He broke away to look you in the eyes, searching for your permission.  
You leaned up a little to kiss him right below his ear and whispered “Please, move like that again…”  
His hand brushed your thigh at your words and slowly he moved away a little before he slowly moved back inside of you.  
It felt far better then it had felt moments ago. He repeated the movement when he heard the content noises falling from your lips. Lancelot never stopped nipping at your skin as he began to slowly thrust inside of you. His thrusts were shallow, careful not to hurt you.  
The deep guttural sounds flowing from his mouth only added to your arousal.  
And when he brushed his lips against your collarbone again you whimpered “Faster.. please..”  
He tilted his head to look at you at that request, and when he saw the haze of desire in your eyes he obliged.  
Lancelot traced his fingers along your hip, landing on your thigh. He squeezed your soft flesh and you moved your legs a little, giving him more freedom to move.  
He quickened his pace and you clawed at his arms, moaning louder into his ear.  
When he shifted you felt him hit a spot inside of you that made you curl your toes, with each thrust the feeling intensified.  
“Lancelot…” You moaned his name when you felt the pressure build inside of you.  
He never expected it to feel _this_ good, and hearing how you moaned his name made it clear that you were enjoying this just as much. Hearing your reactions stimulated him just as much if not more then the feeling of thrusting inside of you.

“You feel incredible.” He grunted in your ear.  
He kissed your neck feverishly and let his teeth graze your jaw, lightly tugging at the skin before his lips landed on yours again.  
You moved your arms around his neck and kept him close to you as he deepened the kiss. You traced your tongue along his bottom lip and he groaned into your mouth, when he opened his mouth a little you slid in your tongue, shyly tasting him.  
Soon he started to do the same, suprisingly less shy then you.  
When he shifted again you moved your head away and gasped in pleasant suprise. You arched your back when each movement now seemed to stimulate that perfect spot. A smile tugged at his lips as he placed a kiss on the corner of your mouth. The sounds were flowing freely from you now, and hearing them everytime he moved filled him with pride.  
“Please don’t stop…it feels so good…you feel so good…” The pressure that had build inside of you was making you shiver.  
Hearing your praises made him quicken his pace again, he moved fully into you now and you grabbed onto his arms letting your head fall back at the intense pleasure it brought.  
You felt like something was going to burst inside of you and you wanted nothing more then for it to happen.  
He sneaked his arm around you and lifted you just a little, it hightened the feeling for both of you like this.  
Lancelot’s breathing was erratic, his mouth close to your ear “Y/n…”  
He could barely speak now, he felt the pressure build rapidly inside of him. His movements began to lose their rythm.  
He moved his hand down between your legs, finding the sensitive bud again and started to stroke it with his fingers.

The feeling of him thrusting inside of you mixed with him touching you was overwhelming. The tension that had build up inside of you snapped loose.  
Your head fell back at the intense jolts of pleasure travelling through your body, at first you tried to muffle your loud moans but when he thrusted again you let out high pitched ones.  
The sensation of you clenching around him brought him to his climax. He came to a halt with a deep low moan, he gasped for air as he almost collapsed on top of you. He burried his face against your shoulder. You felt him pulsing inside of you, your hand tangled in his hair as he tried to catch his breath.

“Gods, that felt amazing.” You were still a bit out of breath when you peppered kisses to the side of his face.

It took him another moment to regain his senses completely and when he did he smiled as you mercilessly pressed your lips to his face. He was quick to capture your lips with his.  
Lancelot kissed you long and slow as he pulled himself out of you. A whiny noise escaped you when you felt him move out of you, already missing the feeling.

He had heard it and looked at you almost smugly “Does it feel _that_ good when I’m..”

Lancelot let you guess the rest of his question, grinning down at you as he waited for your reply.  
You almost rolled your eyes, he was starting to tease you again “Don’t flatter yourself.”  
“I don’t have to, I heard the noises you made.” He quirked a brow at you, he had loved the sounds that had flowed from you.  
“Shut up.” You tried to avert your eyes, feeling the heat rise to your face.  
He chuckled and pressed a kiss to your jaw and then your cheek “They were _very_ flattering.”  
You sighed and avoided his eyes, after all that he still got you flustered.  
“Do you want me to go ?” He asked at your reaction, a hint of sarcam but also a hint of silent fear for your answer in his question. Lancelot moved away from you a bit.  
You quickly grabbed unto his neck and pulled him back to you “Don’t you dare, Lancelot.”

The cheeky smile reappeared on his face “See, you _do_ know my name.”  
“I might need you to remind me of it occasionally.” You said innocently and saw something flicker in his eyes.  
The ambiguous meaning in your words was clear to him.  
He tucked a stray hair behind your ear, flashing his teeth smiling widely at you “As expected. You’re not good at listening sometimes.”  
Your eyes widened at his jesting “You..” you smacked his arm “..smug idiot !”  
Lancelot chuckled at your reaction and pulled you closer to him again. You rested your head on his chest, letting your fingers trail over his skin.  
He pressed a kiss on your hair, smirking as he spoke “I would love to remind you occasionally. If that is what you want.”  
Your eyes snapped open, a smile tugging at your lips. You tilted your head to look at him “In that case I would be happy to listen. _For a while_.”  
He gave a nod as he brought his hand up to the back of your hair, then he laced his fingers in your hair and pulled making your head tilt backwards.  
You swallowed hard at his action and a second later he let his teeth graze your throat before nipping at the skin.  
“I will have to bring my point across in those moments then.” A hint of amusement in his voice.

“I’m not easily convinced.” You quipped, trying not to laugh.

He snorted at your answer and hummed.

“And to think that you could be playing card games at the pub right now. Instead of this. I must be quite convincing to you.” He sounded so pleased with himself.

You narrowed your eyes at him as you put your hands on his chest, pushing him down next to you, then you straddled him.

His eyes darkened again, his hands grabbing a hold on your thighs, fingers digging into your flesh.

You spoke nonchalantly, moving your hands behind his neck “I guess I like playing with _you_ more.”

His mouth was slightly agape at your remark, after another second he let out a breath that sounded like something between a scoff and a chuckle “Do you now ?”

You nodded, giving him a sly smile “Always.”

Lancelot’s fingers dug deeper into your skin as he moved up to kiss you. And by the way you kissed him back it was clear that neither of you were done playing yet for the night.


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nyra invites you to have a drink with her in the pub. Things turn sour when someone starts to bother you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: No smut (but it’s vaguely mentioned ?) slutshaming and violence.

You were putting your jacket on, ready to leave the house to meet with Nyra. She had invited you to the pub to have a drink with her.  
“I’m off to the pub then. Nyra will be waiting.” You told both Lancelot and Percival.  
“Can I come ?” The boy quickly piped up, his voice and eyes filled with excitement.  
“No.” Both you and Lancelot were quick to answer.  
The boy rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath.  
The corner of Lancelot’s mouth turned up as he shared a look with you.  
The boy kept both of you on your toes, but sometimes the boy still managed to get into trouble.  
You had gone out with Nyra alone before in the evening. Last time you were out, a small fire had even erupted in the house.  
Until this day you still didn’t know who had almost set fire to the house. Either it was Percival, Lancelot or both. Considering none of them admitted to it, and none of them blamed the other for it, you suspected it was the latter. The only thing you were sure of was that the place smelled like burned meat for days after.  
“I won’t be gone long.” You informed Lancelot.  
He gave a nod, he knew you were always home before midnight and always had a clear head to train at dawn.  
The boy muttered another thing under his breath. Not pleased that he still didn’t get to come along.  
You sighed and walked over to him, giving him a quick peck on his cheek and ruffling his hair “I’ll tell you what. If the house is not on fire this time, I’ll take you along to one of the card games in the pub some time.”  
“In the evening ?” Percival’s face lit up.  
“Day.” You quickly countered. People were often too drunk to even play cards in the evening and the boy was expected to train at dawn with Lancelot before schooling.  
“Fine.” The boy seemed pleased with himself “Can I taste the ale then ?”

“No.” Lancelot gave a firm answer. He had seen you drunk, he didn’t want to figure out what the boy would be like in that case.

You chuckled a little and shook your head at the boy “Nice try, Percy.”

Percival pulled a face in Lancelot’s direction, who proceeded to pretend he didn’t notice it.  
Then you walked over to Lancelot who seemed less enthusiastic at the idea that you would take the boy to the card games in the pub.  
“The card games ?” He asked you quietly, remembering how months ago Tobias had offered to teach you. An offer you did not take, although you got along with the man more. News had spread like wildfire in the village and now everyone knew the two of you were together. And Tobias had wisely given up on pursuing you.  
“I’ll ask Renfred to teach him. It will be fun for the boy.” You whispered back to him.  
Lancelot frowned at your answer “Who’s Renfred ?”  
You stared at him dumbfounded for a moment and he began to wonder what he had said wrong.  
“Lancelot…” you blinked twice, suprised that he did not already know this “The healer…”  
Realisation dawned on him “Oh.” He awkwardly said “Of course. Renfred.”  
You shook your head at his sheepish expression “Were you afraid I was having another admirer ?” You teased him, only loud enough for him to hear.  
He almost rolled his eyes, still a smile tugged at his lips.  
You pressed your lips to his cheek, lingering for a moment. You could see he was resisting the urge to kiss you, knowing that the boy would surely have some snarky response to it.  
It seemed useless as the boy still made a gagging noise followed by a quiet “Yuck.”  
Lancelot sighed, having heard the boy’s reaction.  
“It was his cheek !” You groaned loudly.  
The boy scrunched his nose and you closed your eyes for a second as you let out a breath.  
Lancelot took the moment to tilt your chin and placed a quick kiss to your lips, ignoring the louder disgusted sounds coming from the boy’s direction.  
Your eyes flew open and you swatted his arm.

“Lancelot !” You hissed at him and tilted your head in the boy’s direction.  
“He’ll live.” He deadpanned, earning a glare from the boy.  
You brushed it off, this was what it meant sharing a home with them. It was a never ending game of testing each other’s patience between them. You could only imagine what it will be like when the boy is an adult. The boy’s own snarkiness combined with what he will pick up from being around Lancelot would surely be something none of you could possibly prepare for.  
You walked to the door, opening it as you stepped through.  
Before you closed the door behind you, you pointed at the both of them.  
“Do NOT set this house on fire while I’m gone !” You warned them both.  
They shared a quick look between them as they kept quiet. Their instant silence only furthered your believe that both of them had been responsible and none of them were going to tell you what the hell happened that day. And perhaps, you did not want to know.

OooooooOOoOOOOOoOOOoOoooOo

  
  
You were standing in the pub with Nyra. You had promised Lancelot that you would not get drunk, not having forgotten what had happened the last time you were. The memory of the embarrassing night and the unmerciful awakening by Lancelot and Percival in the morning, were enough reason to only drink one tankard of ale. Lancelot had no objections to your evening out with Nyra. It was not the first time and he knew Nyra would keep a watchful eye on you, something she always did.  
“Tell me, y/n. How are things going at home ? How is _Sir_ Percival ?” A smirk tugged at her mouth.  
You took a deep breath at her question and she swallowed a laugh “ _Sir_ Percival, is doing very well. He and Lancelot are always scheming with each other it seems. They almost set the house on fire the last time I was here with you.”  
This time she could not hold back her laugh “It does not suprise me. And how are things going with Lancelot ?”  
You smiled at her question “Good. Really good. Gods, Nyra, that man does so much for me and Percival. I’m grateful that he is in my life.”  
Nyra was pleased to hear it “I can see it. It’s all over your face when you speak of him.”  
“He still drives me insane at times however.” You added and chuckled lightly.  
Nyra was almost whispering to you now “I bet he does. He still looks at you in that certain way everytime you’re angry.” she grinned at you as she casually added “It must be interesting at night…”  
You didn’t look at her as you understood what she was talking about, you got flustered "Not in the last week. I want him to rest more.”  
You raised your tankard to your lips to take a sip, hoping that she would pick another topic to talk about.  
“Afraid you’ll wear him out ?” She casually said, hiding her grin as she took a sip of her tankard as well.  
You choked on your ale, spilling some of it on your clothes “Nyra !”  
She laughed at your startled reaction “What ?”  
You groaned at her teasing “No. He just looked a bit tired lately. He wakes up at dawn EVERY day. Even on the days that he doesn’t train us. I believe he needed the rest more then…”

You did not finish your sentence, realising that you had already shared a bit more then you were willing to share. You gingerly put the tankard with ale on a table, looking at it as if that one tankard was at blame.  
She was quiet for a moment, she was aware that Lancelot often took the chores that were too hard to handle for the other villagers. It made sense that the man was tired if not exhausted after combining those chores with training you and the boy. Yet he never complained, and she knew it was because he felt the need to prove himself useful to the village.  
“Does _he_ believe he needs the rest ?” Nyra smirked at you, guessing the answer.  
You looked at her from the corner of your eyes, confirming what she must have guessed.  
No. No, he did not. Lancelot was a master at hiding pain and discomfort. But you knew him.  
You shrugged your shoulders “He’ll believe it when he’s well rested soon.”  
Nyra nodded in response, making a mental note to give Lancelot some less heavy chores to balance things out more.

A woman seemed to draw Nyra’s attention a bit further away, she excused herself before walking over to the woman. Leaving you to stand at the bar of the pub on your own for a while.

  
  


  
You were waiting for Nyra to return when you spotted a obviously drunk man approaching. You sighed, resisting the urge to roll your eyes.  
It wasn’t the first time men had approached you in the pub on these nights, most of them got the hint rather quickly that you weren’t interested. Some of them were reminded by their friends that it would be unwise to try and flirt with the woman that was with the former Weeping Monk.  
Most of them left you alone quickly, some of them were too drunk to care. Luckily Nyra was with you in the pub on these evenings and if you failed to get rid of them, she always did. One glare from her send all of them running if it was needed. They had no intention to become a newly added mark to her skin.  
So your first reaction was to discreetly look around the pub to try and spot Nyra. She was nowhere to be seen, she must have stepped outside for a moment to be able to speak to the villager. The pub was rather rowdy tonight.

“Ah, well, well. Who do we have here.. our beloved _Fey Guardian_. Didn’t think you were the type to come and drink with us humble folk.” The man laughed a little to loud, nudging another person who proceeded to ignore to drunk.

You kept looking around you for Nyra as you answered.

“Where else would I be able to taste ale this good ?” You tried to keep the conversation light.

The man seemed amused by your answer and took a step closer to you, invading your personal space as he did “Tell me. y/n is it, right ? Such a pretty name, for such a pretty woman.”  
Another man leaned in to tell the man “Leave that one alone, friend. You’re angering the wrong people.”  
He brushed the warning away, ignoring the man as he focused on you “I’m not afraid of that monk.”  
You glared at the man and how he had spoken so rudely about Lancelot “His name is Lancelot.”  
The man shrugged his shoulders, cleary not caring for the information “Tell me, sweetheart. Does that monk even know how to please a woman ?”  
Your eyes widened at his impertinent question “That’s none of your business !”  
The man let out a laugh as if your shocked reaction somehow entertained him “I bet he doesn’t…” then his hand landed on your hip “But I do.”  
You moved away from him instantly, swatting his hand away from you.

“I’m not interested.” You sneered.  
The man’s grin faded and he scoffed “What ? Am I not interesting enough for you, princess ? Is that it ? You’d rather open your legs for a damn monk ? No wonder you are so frustrated, maybe you fit together perfectly. The monk and the prude shrew.”  
You were glaring daggers at the man, your hands were itching to hit him “Get away from me ! Before I lose my patience !”  
“I bet I could make you unwind.” A sleazy grin spread on his face and he touched your arm.  
You swatted his hand away again and slapped him across the face.  
Your patience with the drunk had run out “Don’t you dare touch me again !”  
The man barely felt it because of his drunken state.  
“Come on now, sweetheart. Don’t be like that. But it’s alright, I like a fighter.” He laughed and reached for you again.  
The man’s laughing was cut short as he suddenly howled in pain.  
“Do you now ? Good to hear.” Someone said, voice dripping with sarcasm and venom.  
The rowdy pub went silent as their attention was pulled to Lancelot who had grabbed unto the man’s fingers when he had reached for you again. He was bending them backwards, causing the man to twist in pain. A second later he had grabbed the man by the scruff of the neck and dragged the man with him outside.  
Everything happened so fast, you hadn’t expected Lancelot to show up in the pub. He never did when you were out with Nyra.  
You pushed yourself past the staring people to try and stop Lancelot.

  
  
Nyra had been talking to the woman outside, she had greeted Lancelot before he went into the pub and was now suprised to see him drag a man out of the pub. She didn’t have to think for long to realise what must have happened. You had still been in the pub and the man was clearly drunk. It was easy for her to piece it together.  
She hurried over to the scene, warning him “Lancelot.”  
He acknowledged her, his voice strained “I won’t kill him.”  
Nyra sighed as she saw you come out of the pub as well, the two of you shared a look and it confirmed what Nyra had suspected. She looked at you and gestured to Lancelot, who shoved the man that now landed on his hands and knees on the ground.  
The villagers did not interfere, some had seen how the man had bothered you and the others looked at Nyra who waved them away.  
“Lancelot !” You hurried over to him.

As the drunk man got up from the ground Lancelot brutally punched him in the face. The drunk hit the ground again and you stepped between them.  
“Lancelot ! He’s drunk !” You placed your hands on his chest, stopping him from going closer to the man again.  
His focus stayed on the drunk man, who tried and failed to get up again.  
“Drunk or not, he needs to learn to have some respect.” He looked at you, the storm roaring in his eyes.

The man seemed almost too drunk to even feel the punch he recieved as he got back up to his feet quite quickly. That or this was a common occurrence for him. Probably the latter.  
He came closer again as you tried to calm Lancelot down.  
“You good-for-nothing monk!” The man shouted at Lancelot.

  
  
_Good for nothing ?!_

  
  
The man’s loud voice and his insult aimed at Lancelot was what caused you to react the way you did.  
Your fist collided with the man’s jaw and less then a second later you came to your senses and realised you had actually punched the man. The drunk had lost his footing and was on hands and knees on the ground again.  
“Oh gods…I…” You stammered, suprised by your own actions.

One person tried to spur you on to hit the man again and earned a glare from Nyra, silencing him.  
Lancelot barely kept a straight face at your sheepish reaction. Silently impressed that you had managed to knock the man to the ground as well. And this time it seemed that the man would not get up so quickly anymore.  
He shot a quick look at Nyra who seemed suprised to say the least. Nyra had never seen this side of you before.  
“He did say he liked a fighter.” Lancelot’s voice was dripping with sarcasm.  
You shook your head at his comment and sighed “I doubt this was what he meant.”

“It is what he deserves.” He said it so matter-of-factly. The smug look never left his face.  
He moved past you back towards the man, he pulled him roughly to his feet. Grabbing the man by his jacket as he threatened him just loud enough for only the man to hear “Come near her again or try to touch her again, and I swear I will make you wish for something as peaceful as death.”  
Lancelot shoved the man away from him, the drunk barely kept his footing.  
  
  


You watched as the man swayed on his legs as he walked, two other people came over to help him walk away.

“That’s one fiery lass, I’ll tell ya that !” The man loudly exclaimed to the people who helped him walk away.

Lancelot let out a deep long breath as he calmed himself down.

You felt a pang of guilt, you had wanted him to rest and now this happened. You gingerly took his arm in your hand and squeezed lightly “I am grateful that you helped me just now, but I thought you would be resting at home by now.”

He noticed your worried expression and unsheethed the sword at his side and you realised why he had come to the pub tonight.  
He held your sword out to you, the sword you had forgotten at home “I came here to bring you this.”  
You sheepishly took the sword from him, sending him an apologetic look “Sorry.. I forgot I left it at home. Thank you for bringing it to me. You shouldn’t have.”  
  
He had no problems with you going out with Nyra, but he had one request: that you would always have your sword with you when you did. Something you agreed on with him, but tonight you had accidentally forgotten your sword at home.  
“Clearly I should have..” Lancelot scoffed. Still barely containing the anger inside of him, anger aimed at the drunk idiot that had bothered you.  
“Don’t worry about me, Nyra was right outside the pub. I was safe. She always deals with the ones that don’t give up.” At first you smiled at him but when you saw his expression change you knew you had said too much. You had ’ _forgotten’_ to mention to him that this had happened before because you knew he would get worried and just a tad too protective.  
His eyes narrowed at the realisation, jaw clenched “This happened before ?”  
You had to calm him down and reassure him you were always safe with Nyra around, and that you could defend yourself “Alright, yes. But they usually aren’t so… persistent and they always leave me alone quickly. Please _don’t_ worry, Lancelot. Besides, you have taught me how to defend myself, remember ?”  
Lancelot calmed down only a little. He hated the knowledge that people bothered you on your evenings out with Nyra. He hated how the drunk man had insulted you. Seeing the man bother you was one thing, hearing the man insult you when you politely rejected the man was what made him forget about trying to be civil. Seeing the man trying to touch you was what had made him snap.  
He looked down at the sword in your hands “If this happens again, don’t reject them politely…”  
Lancelot took your hand, that you were holding you sword with, in his.  
You understood his meaning and quietly snorted “You want me to use my sword on them ?”  
He quirked his brow, his expression told you he was serious “Would you rather I do it ?”  
You sighed deeply and shook your head.  
You knew him well enough that he wasn’t just being sarcastic now “No. I can handle it. You taught me well enough.”  
He seemed pleased with your answer.  
You took a step closer to him, letting your other hand rest on his chest “But… you do look very attractive when you get protective of me.”

His eyes locked on yours and you saw his expression change. The corner of his mouth turned up.  
When you leaned in and brushed your lips to his for a second some people who stood outside the pub whistled and cheered at the sight. It was enough to make both of you become flustered.  
Lancelot scratched his neck, growing uneasy with the attention from the other villagers “I’ll… I will see you at home. Remember, tomorrow we will spar. Make sure you get enough rest by dawn.”  
You nodded to him, quietly excited that you were getting good enough with the sword to actually spar with him “I’ll see you at home.”  
With another nod he left and returned home. Nyra had been waiting until he had left to approach you.  
“That man would set the world on fire if it was necessary to keep you safe.” She rose a brow at you.  
“Don’t be ridiculous.” You chuckled a little, but deep down you knew that there was truth to her words. It was a figure of speech but he would do anything to keep you and Percival safe.  
He had fought for you, he had killed for you and he had almost died for you when he had saved you from the Trinity Guard.  
You never thought you would ever find someone like him, and often you felt guilty for how much he actually did for you. For how protective and caring he was. Sometimes you even felt like you didn’t deserve him, but you loved him too much to let that thought grow stronger.  
You turned to Nyra “I think I’m going to head home. It will put his mind at ease.”  
The corner of her mouth twitched “I’ll walk with you.”


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have resisted each other for a little more then a week to get some well needed rest and sleep. But as Lancelot and you spar in the forest it seems neither of you is truly capable to resist the other anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!! SMUT !!!! Special smut warnings: Oral (blowjob), outdoor, unprotected sex.

There was one downside at sharing a room with Lancelot. When he was up, so were you. He could keep you up all night if he wanted to and still be awake by the time it was dawn. It drove you insane but not insane enough to stop sharing a bed with him. He had just a little too many redeeming qualities in the bedroom to do that. And he wasn’t fully at blame, you could keep him up at night just the same. Regret never came at night. It came at dawn when you actually had to get up to train with the sword. **  
**At dawn the difference between you was like night and day. Where he was almost cheerful, you felt like you wanted to strangle someone on sight for the first hour of the day. At least you had had a week with full nights of sleep now, it did take you some willpower to actually just sleep next to him. It appeared that the both of you needed the rest, something Lancelot would never show or admit to. During his upbringing he was taught to wake early, it was discipline. A useful thing, but he often felt tired as well. So neither of you minded that you got some actual sleep during the night now. And today you had awoken before him, it was a few hours past dawn when you woke. Even though he would always act like a rooster to wake you up, you couldn’t bring yourself to wake him when he looked so peaceful asleep. One of the reasons why you had aimed to sleep this past week was that he looked so tired lately. He did so much for you during the day and during the night, he deserved the rest. **  
**You had snuck out of bed, careful not to wake him as you woke Percival as it was time for schooling by now. **  
**The boy had asked why there had been no training at dawn and you had told him it would be later that day. Even the boy had been suprised when you told him that Lancelot was not awake yet for once. **  
**The boy didn’t really mind that he had gotten two more hours of sleep that way. Neither of you did. **  
**By the time the boy had left for schooling Lancelot had awoken, he was a bit out of his element “You didn’t wake me..” **  
**You shrugged your shoulders a little “This is perhaps the first time you didn’t drag me out of bed so early. Of course I didn’t wake you.” **  
**He quirked a brow, sneaking an arm around your waist as he kissed your cheek “You missed an opportunity to wake me the same way I often have to wake you.” **  
**You grinned back at him “I _choose_ not to wake you. You looked so peaceful, and now you actually don’t look tired.” **  
**He hummed in agreement, it was true that sleeping longer made him feel more refreshed now. More energetic. The training and the chores he did during the day would often tire him. Nyra often asked him to do the chores most villagers where not strong enough for. And he always did them to the best of his abilities, still feeling the strong urge to prove to the people that he was there to help. Even if his back or arms hurt after all the work he did. **  
**“I believe I did need the rest after all.” He went over to the table to grab a piece of bread to eat. **  
**“I told Percival that you would train him later. Is that alright ?” You informed him. **  
**He gave a nod in response “I’ll teach the boy once he’s back from schooling. Grab your sword, we’re going to the forest.” **  
**“The forest ? I thought we were going to spar today…” You frowned at him, feeling confused. **  
**“Yes.” He was quick to answer, the corner of his mouth turning up in a smirk. **  
**You looked at him confused before you understood “We’re going to spar in the forest ?” **  
**“We are. Let’s see if your footwork is up to it. Forest ground is more treacherous then grass. But you will need to learn how to stand your ground regardless.” Lancelot explained as he handed you the sword he had gotten for you not long ago. **  
**You took the sword from his hands “Alright then. Lead the way.” **  
**

**OooooooOOoOOOOOoOOOoOoooOo  
**

**  
**“Your footing is wrong.” He remarked for the umpteenth time in the last hour. **  
**You brushed the dirt of your pants as you got up after you had tripped for the second time. **  
**It wasn’t his fault that you had tripped, but the fact that you kept tripping over some stupid branches was starting to test your patience. **  
**“I’ll show you where my foot is going damnit…” You muttered under your breath. **  
**He still heard some of it and guessed the rest, he hid his amusement at your frustrated reaction “What was that ?” **  
**“Nothing.” You waved his question away. **  
**Lancelot walked over to you and brushed the rest of the dirt off your sleeve “You’ll keep falling if you don’t pay attention when I correct your footing.” **  
**You were still annoyed from falling and pulled a face. **  
**He noticed it and as he brushed the last bit of dirt from the back of your arm, his hand went to your lower back. He still loved to see you angry, and he could see the fire starting to burn in your eyes. Sparring was not going well for you today, and maybe he was a bit at blame for it. He knew just how to get you angry, but not to the point that you would walk away and end the sparring. **  
**It was a thin line, but one he loved to balance on.

He pretended to brush some dirt off your lower back and let his hand graze innocently over your bottom as he did.

You felt it and quirked a brow at him, knowing damn well there was nothing on your lower back or bottom “Looks like _I_ am the one here that is _actually_ paying attention. I don’t believe touching an opponent like this is a common thing during sparring.”

He hummed in agreement, resisting the urge he felt to touch you again. The full nights of sleep had done him well, but now that he was feeling well-rested it was harder to focus on just sparring with you. He longed to hear you moan his name in pleasure. He longed to bed you .He longed for _you_.

But now was not the time to think about these things, now he needed to focus and spar with you.

Lancelot took a deep breath and cleared his mind before he would lose himself in his thoughts.

“Let’s see if you have paid attention last week.” He casually said, but then he suddenly grabbed your arm and turned you to face away from him. He held you by your wrist as he pulled you flush against his chest, holding the hilt of his sword to your throat. **  
**You hadn’t expected his action and tried to break free right away, the only problem being that you had forgotten how.

Lancelot kept you firmly in his grasp and after a few seconds of ****you struggling to break free he spoke up ****“I taught you how to break free in this situation.” **  
**Yes, he did. But you hadn’t been paying full attention that day “Did you ?” **  
**He sighed audibly, he knew damn well that he had shown you this “Yes, y/n. I did.” **  
**You let out a sigh in frustration “I don’t recall.” **  
**He suddenly let his hand wander downwards. You could feel his hand landing on your bottom where he grabbed onto it. His fingers were digging in your flesh. **  
**You gasped, he had never dared to grope you like _this_ outside of the house before. **  
**His voice was deeper then it had been only seconds ago “Then I will help you remember it.” **  
**He squeezed your bottom again but harder this time. **  
**It seemed to work as you remembered how to break free and succeeded to do so. You rubbed your butt with your hand as you glared at him “Seriously ?” **  
**His mouth curved into a lopsided grin “See. I _have_ taught you that before.” **  
**As you launched at him with your sword to attack, he quickly spinned around and you went past his side. **  
**You felt something touch your bottom in that same moment…no…you had felt something _hit_ your bottom. **  
**You spun around, moving your hand to your butt automatically in response “Did you just _smack_ my bottom ?!” **  
**He tilted his head smugly, a smirk plastered on his face “If you had paid attention during your training I would not have been able to do that.” **  
**You gawked at him speechless, before glaring at him again “You arrogant oaf !” **  
**He chuckled at your reaction and watched how you kept your hand on your bottom “Does it hurt ?” **  
**You squinted your eyes at him “No.” **  
**Another arrogant tilt of his head “Well then. Shall we continue sparring or do you surrender ?” **  
**You scoffed, surrendering after that ? “Let’s continue.” **  
**His eyes sparkled with mischief as he beckoned for you, pretending to be bored. **  
**You angrily charged at him, your swords clashed together. You tried your best to keep your grip on your sword and failed to realise how close his face was to yours by doing so. He caught you off-guard and kissed you, lingering for one second before sliding his sword to the side and you lost your footing. **  
**You landed on your knee, glarring up at him, knowing damn well he was trying to distract you everytime you attacked him now. **  
**You took a deep breath, swallowing the frustration that was growing inside of you. **  
**He chuckled, looking far too pleased with himself, and reached his hand out for you to take. **  
**You swatted it away “Why do you keep distracting me, are you afraid I might actually win ? Or are you trying to teach me that I should distract my opponents by kissing them ?” **  
**He quirked a brow as he looked down to you “Neither.” **  
**You spoke in your fake innocent voice, knowing what you said next would not please him “Well, it is a good way to distract them. Maybe I should do that, just kiss everyone I fight.” **  
**The smirk disappeared from his face the second he heard you say it “That would truly be a horrible strategy.” **  
**You tilted your head, smirking smugly at him “Why ? Don’t you think I could distract them like that ? Maybe I should ask someone in the village to spar with me and find out if it works.” **  
**Lancelot almost rolled his eyes, he knew you were messing with him but he didn’t like to have the idea in his head of you kissing other people. **  
**He scratched his chin “Who would you even ask, y/n ? Almost no one in the village knows how to fight with a sword well enough.” **  
**Then you said the one thing you knew would get under his skin “Well, there’s Nyra… and Tobias.” **  
**The second Lancelot heard you say Tobias’s name his jealousy was reawakened. **  
**He scoffed and shook his head lightly, but it had clearly gotten under his skin “Alright. Get off the ground.” **  
**You had expected him to be annoyed, he loved seeing _you_ angry but he had no idea how attractive HE could be when he was jealous. **  
**His blue eyes got darker, more focused. He even moved differently. If he was jealous he got more passionate as well. Always eager to remind you exactly why he was the one for you, never with words always with actions. **  
**“Let’s see how well you fight without distractions.” He challenged you.

You tilted your head in an arrogant nod in response.

**  
**This time you gave it your all, you blocked his moves and attacked as he had taught you over the past few months. It was almost as if him annoying you had made you more focused, more determined to win this time. This time you used his own method against him, he had made you trip many times during training. And unbeknownst to him, he had taught you this as well. You tricked him into believing you were going to push against his sword with yours to get the upper hand and as you felt him push back, you stopped pushing and let your sword slide to the side and then you spun around. He lost his balance the moment you let your sword slide, but it was when you moved and spun away from him that he fell to the ground.

He fell on his side and you were quick to step on the blade of his sword so he couldn’t lift it from the ground again. He reached with his other hand to try and make you lose your balance as well but you grabbed his wrist and lowered yourself, pinning him to the ground below you as you straddled him.

You were out of breath as you held the hilt of your sword to his throat sending him a cocky smile “I believe I won.”

Lancelot knew that if this had been a real fight, this would have meant his end. You had used his own tricks against him, it seemed that you had paid more attention during training then he had previously believed. Perhaps a bit too much attention, it was not his intention to teach you this.

You looked down at him with a smug victorious smile as you held the hilt of your sword to his chin, slightly lifting it as you looked down to him.

Lancelot wasn’t sure if he was breathing so fast because he had fallen or because you looked so confident as you pinned him to the ground.

“You weren’t playing fair.” His voice was unsteady, eyes glued to you.

You tilted his chin even further as you let go off his wrist and rested your other hand on his chest “Like you taught me.”

He quirked a brow and gave a nod, one of the first things he had taught you was that an enemy will not play fair. Therefore neither should you.

“Ah, so you _did_ pay attention when I taught you that.” He jested.

“You always have my attention.” You teased seductively and saw his eyes darken.

His eyes didn’t leave your face and his voice got deeper “Do I ?”

Seeing him pinned to the ground as you were almost straddling him stirred something inside of you. It had been a little more then a week since you last had him in a _situation_ such as this. **  
**You discarded your sword to the side and quickly leaned down to kiss him hungrily. **  
**He smiled against your lips, not expecting you to react to your victory like this. **  
**He also didn’t expect you to start moving your hips and begin lightly brushing up against his groin that way. He groaned into your mouth at the feeling, and moved his hands to your hips grabbing on to them and pulling you lower so you moved against him more. You rolled your hips and he sat up a little, you cupped his face and bit down on his lower lip. You were kissing him feverishly, as if your life depended on it. **  
**He could sense this would not remain just a kiss, your mouth was moving against his with passionate fervor. He could feel himself harden under you rapidly and he stopped you for a moment before his own arousal would cloud his mind completely.

“We are in the forest, y/n.” He reminded you, slightly out of breath. **  
**You just nodded before crashing your lips to his again. **  
**Again he reluctantly pulled back, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth “People could see us like this.” **  
**You hummed and tried to brush your lips against his again but he tilted his head. **  
**“Y/n, maybe we-” He started to speak but the words died in his throat when you rolled your hips against him again. **  
**“Please…” You whispered against his mouth. You didn’t want to make the whole walk back to the village before continuing this. **  
**He tried to swallow the moan in his throat but it was still audible, he couldn’t refuse you, _he did not want to refuse you_. He doubted he would be able to keep his own composure long enough to get home.

Both of you were too aroused to make the walk home like this. **  
**He squeezed your thighs and guided you to move against him again. **  
**Together you created a slow rythm. Your hands were cupping his face, letting your thumbs brush his cheeks as you kissed him more slowly. **  
**He brushed his nose against yours “I love you.” **  
**You smiled widely at him, before pressing your lips to his vigorously “And I love you.” **  
**You felt him smile against your lips, he loved to hear you say it. No matter how long you were together he still seemed worried about you changing your mind about him. The idea itself was ridiculous to you, you loved him deeply. And as you looked upon him now you felt the strong desire to show it to him. **  
  
  
**He moved his hands up to your waist, his fingers starting to skim under your shirt. **  
**You playfully swatted his hands away from you before slowly moving lower down his body. **  
**There was something you had wanted to try for a while now and the adrenaline from your victory rushing through you made you bolder. Braver. **  
**He eyed you curiously, not understanding what you were doing as he went to lean up on his elbows. **  
**You reached out and placed a hand on his chest before pushing him flat against the ground again. **  
**“Lay back.” You told him. He was always so eager to please you but this time you wanted to try something that might please _him_. He had a tendency to push himself aside and you wanted to show him that he deserved to feel good too. **  
**He did as told, albeit a little nervous “Why ?” **  
**You looked at him, not able to see his eyes well as he looked up at the sky “I want to try something. Tell me if you want me to stop, alright ?” **  
**You saw him nod and swallow nervously. **  
**You straddled his lower legs and moved his shirt and leather jerkin up a little. He drew a sharp breath when you began to trail your lips over his lower abdomen. Rubbing your hand over his groin as you did, teasingly slow. You grinding on him had made him hard already, you smiled, pleased with the result of your actions. **  
**“Someone’s eager.” You teased and heard him sigh in response. **  
**You swallowed your giggling, he was already nervous, you didn’t want to make it worse. **  
**You palmed him through the fabric of his trousers, and began to slowly stroke him. **  
**His breathing quickened immediately and he propped himself up on his elbows. **  
**You could see he was contemplating on taking control of this situation. He watched as you eagerly stroked him. **  
**“Let me please you, Lancelot. Will you let me make you feel good ?” You looked up at him, asking him and hoping to stay in control that way. **  
**He seemed taken aback by it, his eyes softened as he relaxed. He gave you a nod letting you take control, even if he didn’t truly understood what you meant by ’ _please_ ’ him. You always pleased him. You always made him feel good. Still, he let you continue and enjoyed the feeling of your hands on him. **  
**Then you gingerly freed his member from his trousers. **  
**He drew a sharp breath through his nose as he felt the cold air against him now. **  
**You never truly had a moment to appreciate him like this before, he would often take the lead. Always pushing himself aside. You hoped to change that, you loved him and would try your best to please him first with this. **  
**You placed a kiss on the tip of him before searching his eyes. He blinked and stared at you almost as if he was fascinated by it. **  
**You looked at his member fondly muttering “Everything about you is perfect to me.” **  
**His eyes locked on yours, hearing your praise made it harder for him not to just grab you and take control. **  
**You focused back at the task at hand, you stroked him once more and then licked the tip. **  
**A choked noise escaped him. A noise that you loved to hear, it meant he liked what you had just done. You saw him swallow hard as he looked down at you, breathing through his teeth. **  
**You licked it again and he held back a moan. It encouraged you to experiment. You dragged your tongue along his length and let your tongue twirl around his tip as you took his tip in your mouth. **  
**He moaned your name in response and his eyes fell shut. It spurred you on, seeing him come undone like this aroused you further. **  
**You took him into your mouth slowly, inch by inch. **  
**A deep and gutteral groan came from him at the feeling of your warm mouth around him. **  
**He had not expected this, he’d never expect you to do this and you had never done this before. **  
**You sucked your cheeks in and began to bop your head slowly. **  
**After a moment of doing so he brushed his fingers in your hair and began to steer you a little. You let him, feeling proud when you heard the content noises coming from him. You adjusted your technique by listening to the sounds he made. By paying attention to how he reacted. **  
**He resisted the urge to thrust, knowing it could hurt you if he did. He didn’t know what he loved more, to feel your mouth around him or to see how eager you were to please him. **  
**He could feel the tension build inside of him and decided to stop you. He wanted _you_ , he craved _you_. **  
**He cupped your cheek with his hand, making you look at him. **  
**He looked dazed by lust, his voice low and heavy “Come here.” **  
**You looked at him shyly, he swifly pulled you higher above him again and pulled your face to his to kiss you fiercely. The kiss was deep and desperate, his tongue was searching for yours right away. **  
**It was overwhelming, and you tilted your head to the side to gasp for air. His mouth attached to your throat and neck as he nipped and licked any bare skin he could find. His hands cupped your bottom and pulled you down against him as he kneaded it at his leisure. A sultry moan fell from your lips, he made you feel so desired, so wanted and good. **  
**When Lancelot heard you moan he rolled you over so your back was against the ground as he was above you. Now he understood what you had meant by _‘please’_ him and he was very pleasantly suprised to see you do it so eagerly. He couldn’t believe you would be so bold as to use your mouth to pleasure him like that. He was driven by a mixture of deep love and pure lust. **  
**He sank his teeth in your shoulder before nipping at the sensitive spot. He began to fumble with your pants impatiently, getting them off of you. **  
**You didn’t bother undressing further, you wanted him _now_. The adrenaline of sparring with him and actually winning was still coursing through you. The fact that someone could actually discover the both of you in the forest like this made it strangely exciting. You were quietly grateful that his cloak covered you mostly as well as he hovered above you. **  
**He sought your eyes before aligning himself with your entrance. Even now he still always needed a signal for you to continue. **  
**You eagerly nodded “We can’t be here long, other people might end up discovering us like this.” you saw him nod in agreement and then you boldly said “So if you want to be inside me, hurry up a little. Please.” **  
**His eyes widened for a moment and he grinned at you wickedly “Eager are we ?” **  
**You squinted your eyes at him, hoping he wasn’t going to torture you with this. Not now. Not when you were so aroused that it almost made you dizzy. **  
**It was no secret that you irritating him worked wonders, you arrogantly spoke “Not for long if you decide to wait much longer.” **  
**His blue eyes darkened at your smug expression, his voice low “So impatient.” **  
**He nuzzled into your neck as he fully slid himself into you, faster then he usually did and it took you by suprise. **  
**You gasped and moaned at the feeling of him filling you so quickly. **  
**He began to thrust deeply right away and your fingers digged in his arm, smugly he asked “Satisfied ?” **  
**“We’ll see.” You quipped back. **  
**At that he wrapped his fingers around your neck lightly and moved your head backwards down to the ground, keeping you down as he began to kiss you bruisingly. **  
**A shaky moan fell from your lips as he thrusted inside of you, deep and slow. **  
**He repositioned himself a little, moving a hand behind your knee and bringing it towards you a little, giving himself more room to thrust. **  
**The new angle made him brush against a sensitive spot everytime he thrusted. **  
**When you moaned against his mouth he slid his tongue into your mouth like he wanted to devour you. **  
**You were out of breath and tilted your face away, he chuckled and leaned down to brush his lips against your ear. You brought a hand up to cup his neck, putting your other on his hip. **  
**You pulled him almost flush against you. His hand wandered from your thigh to your bottom, squeezing it once and then let his hand skim higher to your breast. He began to fondle you, changing between roughly and softly. **  
**You began to moan louder as you could feel the tension build rapidly in your abdomen. **  
**He could see you were close, he moved your legs and locked them behind his back, leaning fully into you now as he quickened his pace. **  
**He moved an arm beneath you tilting your body a little. You began to shake and held on to his arms. You came with a loud shaky moan, feeling your orgasm ripple through your body furiously. **  
**And after a few more thrusts he stilled and moaned into your neck as he came. **  
**It took you a while to come to your senses after that, he kissed your neck and jaw as he moved himself out of you.

He brushed his lips to your ear, a smirk tugging at his lips “I should let you win more often if this is the result.”

Your eyes shot open at his comment “What ?! You didn’t 'let’ me win. I won. I bested you !”

He hummed arrogantly and tried to kiss you but you tilted your head away before he could.

“Lancelot !” You pushed him away a little.

He chuckled in response as he grabbed your wrist and pinned it above your head “I was joking, my love.”

“I hate you.” You groaned, noticing the smug look on his face.

He gave you a quick peck on the lips, then he trailed his thumb over your bottom lip “You have a strange way of showing that you _hate_ me.”

When he tapped his fingers on your lips twice you understood what he was talking about.

It made you curious if it had actually really pleased him “Did that feel good ? What I did with-”

“Yes.” He didn’t even let you finish that question. It had felt incredible and if he hadn’t stopped you when he did, he would have reached his climax that way.

You smiled up at him, feeling proud that you had succeeded in your goal.

“We should head back to the village. Before…” He didn’t need to explain why staying like this longer was a bad idea.

You nodded and you began to redress so you were no longer half bare. He actually helped you look decent again before you both headed back to the village.

Right as you walked into the village you felt something hit your bottom again as he went to walk ahead of you. You quickly looked around to see if someone had seen it before glaring at Lancelot.

“Gods, Lancelot !” You looked around you, nervous that a villager might have seen it happen.

He looked back at you with a cheeky grin as he whispered arrogantly in your direction “You weren’t so worried about being seen in the forest, y/n.”

Heat rose to your cheeks at his comment, suddenly feeling much more self-conscious then you had been not long ago “Shut up. It’s not the same. We are in the village now, there’s people everwhere.”

At that he sighed, brushing a hand over his chin as he walked back over to you.

“You can’t just-” You began to scold him but were silenced when he sneaked an arm around your waist and pulled you to him in one quick movement.

His mouth captured yours, his fingers curling in your hair as he deepened the kiss and you melted at the intensity of it. His hand wandered from your waist to rest on your bottom. And then he broke the kiss.

He used his hand on your bottom to pull you even closer against him as he placed a light kiss to your cheek “I don’t intend to let the opinions of others stop me from touching or kissing you, y/n. Only you can stop me from doing so. Do you want me to stop ?”

Your eyes locked on his as you shook your head and you placed a lingering kiss to his lips as your response to his question. Still you felt like hidding your face against his chest when you remembered there were a lot of villagers outside.

It dawned on you just why he had made this a public display now when you spotted Tobias in the distance.

“I’d better be off, we still have our chores to finish today.” He let go off you, looking pleased with himself.

You rolled your eyes at him “You only did this to torment Tobias, didn’t you ?”

He frowned for a moment before he looked around him and spotted Tobias, when he did he could not hide the wide arrogant grin on his face “I didn’t. If I had known that he was standing over there I wouldn’t have stopped so quickly.”

You swatted his arm and scoffed in disbelief “I can’t believe you just said that, you jealous oaf !”

Lancelot chuckled at your reaction and pressed his lips to your temple “I’ll see you tonight ?”

“Of course.” You brushed your hand over his cheek as he did.

He cupped your neck as he leaned in to whisper in your ear “Good. Because tonight I intend to ’ _please’_ you as you have _pleased_ me today.”

Your eyes widened when he boldly told you his intentions. He pressed another kiss to your temple before he walked away nonchalantly.


End file.
